I’m back…I think…
We have our laptop – that’s the good news. After nearly 3 weeks, the nice men in US Customs apparently decided that my email was boring and my hard drive was not likely to contain any illegal drugs.
The bad news is that our new exciting high speed satellite internet is sporadic at best. We can [sometimes] open 3 or 4 webpages very quickly (oh, so quickly!) and then the connection is gone. The technical support personnel have patiently walked me through the settings so many times that now I just tell them where everything is set while they ask me to wait for their screen to catch up. Then they stall for time by asking me to unplug the modem for 5 minutes while they put me on hold. sigh.
I can’t decide if I should go outside and jump up and down on the satellite dish hideously hung on the front of our deck (whose idea was that????) or toss the laptop out the window. Maybe I could aim for the satellite dish when I toss the laptop.
Or maybe I should just hurry and hit the “publish post” button and hope that my connection hasn’t already gone to visit the Customs guys on the Canadian border.

On a brighter note, we had some authentic Texas weather here today. The last few days have been hovering around the 100 degrees mark. Today, we had temperatures in the 70′s, rain, thunder, a tornado watch (we learned later), and Texas snow: hail the size of shooter marbles! Before I realized what was happening, the girls ran outside and stood in the hail, catching it in bowls and yelling “Ow! Ow!” as they were pelted from above. When it was done falling, they stored their cache of hailstones in the freezer and ran down the hill to the trampoline to recreate the experience: as they jumped, the hail on the trampoline bounced up and fell from the sky again. Just to make things more interesting, they did all of this in bare feet.
Kids.

Still no package. No computer. My face is purple from holding my breath, and I’m having a hard time convincing people that the shake in my hands is just because I have low blood sugar. I’m doing fine without a computer, really I am.
On the bright side, I have crocheted a Christmas stocking for our 6th daughter and am well into the next. I completed matching Christmas stockings for the first 5 children several years ago, then fell behind as children began arriving in greater quantities than my spare time.
Some day (soon!) when I have a computer of my own, I’ll post photos of the stockings and share the story behind them. In the meantime, I’m fine. Really I am. I’m just sitting here alone in my Dad’s office, while everyone else is celebrating his birthday. Priorities. The show must go on.
Without further ado, here are this week’s contributions:

• From a newcomer to the Carnival: The Duchy of Burgundy Carrots, we have Feeding Baby
• From the Jacobs Farm, another newcomer: Successful Homeschooling
• Carrie, my faithful online friend, treats us to What should we read?
• Funny guy Brad brings us Toss the TV Out of the Plane
• The Deputy Headmistress at The Common Room came through with A Funny for us
• Dana at Principled Discovery makes Stone Soup
• More newcomers! The Sagerats at High Desert Hi-Jinks give us Elementary My Dear Mother
• And just one that I found myself: take a look at the Friday Funnies over at Girl Talk.

And from our own house, I had a fresh giggle over an old quote today so I’ll share it with you.

While we were at the San Antonio Independent Christian Film Festival we were treated to a show by Charles Zahm, an Irish folksinger. He performed in a kilt.

Obviously disturbed, Becca (again, it’s the 4 year old. It’s always the 4 year old.) leaned over to me and asked in a stage whisper, “Mom! What is he wearing? Not his shirt, but what’s on the bottom of him?”

I explained that it was called a kilt, and that men sometimes wore kilts in a far away country called Ireland.

She looked a little relieved, but not entirely satisfied.

“Well…it looks like a skirt when he wears it here.”

Thanks to everyone who share this week, and a special thanks to all the newcomers who joined in the fun!

Once again, I’ll ask you to have pity on me and find your way to the handy-dandy links on the sidebar if you want to visit other editions of the Carnival or if you’d like to contribute to next week’s Carnival.
While we’re having pity on me, maybe somebody has a laptop in one of those high kitchen cabinets, and it’s just taking up room along with the artichoke peeler/dicer/chopper. If so, you can send it to me…the laptop, that is. I don’t have room for an artichoke peeler/dicer/chopper.
No? Well, that’s alright. My laptop should be here anyday. As soon as customs is done looking at our family photos and reading my email…

Knock! Knock! Knock! Came the sound on Alexandra’s bedroom door. She grimaced. That would probably be her Dad ready to very loudly and very off-keyedly serenade, sing, implore, and command her to get up! “Mmph!” she grunted. She was not ready to be woken up yet. But it was her Mom, “Hey wake up Alex! Arise your soul arise.” Alexandra sighed, lay there with her eyes closed for a minute, then she sat up and got up. Later that day she sighed again. She was not ready to give her speech at the Wishing Club presidential meeting. Once every 6 months the Wishing Club elected a new president, vice president, and secretary. (which she found amusing considering the people in the club were ages 10-13 + there was thirteen club members). “Oh well”, she said to herself, “There’s no going back now!” Once up on stage (3 wooden crates put side-by side, + 5 stacked up to make a podium) she cleared her throat into the soda bottles that served as amplifiers and said, “This term I have found a couple of wishes in the wishing box which I find funny. Would you like me to read them?” “Yes!” everybody shouted.(obviously eager to hear). Pausing dramatically she plunged her hand into the wish-box. “OK here is one from Tiffany Sawyer, March 9, 2006. Ahem.” she cleared her throat again and read, “I wish that I had a pink 20 passenger seat limousine with a Jacuzzi and a TV.” Alexandra stopped reading and looked up in time to see everybody in the clubhouse roar with laughter. She smiled and held up her hand for silence and they quieted down. “Thank you, thank you, but let’s save your energy for the rest, shall we? Now this one was by Diana Montoya on April 4, 2006. “I wish that I had a green Unicorn. I would ride him all over the world in a couple of minutes.” Again the gales of helpless roaring and again she held up her hand and the roaring subsided into scattered titters and giggles “Now one more by Meredith Peters “I wish that i had a wand that made peple see things from my point of view when I pointed it at them” .after reading a few more wishes Alexandra finished her speech and at the conclusion was heavily applauded.By the time all the club members who hadn’t volunteered to stay and help clean up had gotten most of the soil out of their hair (from rolling around in helpless laughter) and gone home, Alexandra had changed out of her new lavender silk dress and into, a green tank top and some shorts (she had volunteered to stay and help clean up and put away the crates and folding chairs) and once they were done the vote-counters walked up to her and said: “Congratulations on all the applause you got but… we’re afraid that you didn’t win the campaign”. Alexandra stood up and blinked a couple of times and said “Thank you for telling me. I am not very disappointed.I suppose I didn’t really expect to win… but give my congratulations to the new president ” With that she flipped a strand of honey blonde hair over her shoulder, turned and walked home wondering if she would have even enjoyed being president.

Knock! Knock! Knock! Came the sound on Alexandra’s bedroom door. She grimaced. That would probably be her Dad ready to very loudly and very off-keyedly serenade, sing, implore, and command her to get up! “Mmph!” she grunted. She was not ready to be woken up yet. But it was her Mom, “Hey wake up Alex! Arise your soul arise.” Alexandra sighed, lay there with her eyes closed for a minute, then she sat up and got up. Later that day she sighed again. She was not ready to give her speech at the Wishing Club presidential meeting. Once every 6 months the Wishing Club elected a new president, vice president, and secretary. (which she found amusing considering the people in the club were ages 10-13 + there was thirteen club members). “Oh well”, she said to herself, “There’s no going back now!” Once up on stage (3 wooden crates put side-by side, + 5 stacked up to make a podium) she cleared her throat into the soda bottles that served as amplifiers and said, “This term I have found a couple of wishes in the wishing box which I find funny. Would you like me to read them?” “Yes!” everybody shouted.(obviously eager to hear). Pausing dramatically she plunged her hand into the wish-box. “OK here is one from Tiffany Sawyer, March 9, 2006. Ahem.” she cleared her throat again and read, “I wish that I had a pink 20 passenger seat limousine with a Jacuzzi and a TV.” Alexandra stopped reading and looked up in time to see everybody in the clubhouse roar with laughter. She smiled and held up her hand for silence and they quieted down. “Thank you, thank you, but let’s save your energy for the rest, shall we? Now this one was by Diana Montoya on April 4, 2006. “I wish that I had a green Unicorn. I would ride him all over the world in a couple of minutes.” Again the gales of helpless roaring and again she held up her hand and the roaring subsided into scattered titters and giggles “Now one more by Meredith Peters “I wish that i had a wand that made peple see things from my point of view when I pointed it at them” .after reading a few more wishes Alexandra finished her speech and at the conclusion was heavily applauded.By the time all the club members who hadn’t volunteered to stay and help clean up had gotten most of the soil out of their hair (from rolling around in helpless laughter) and gone home, Alexandra had changed out of her new lavender silk dress and into, a green tank top and some shorts (she had volunteered to stay and help clean up and put away the crates and folding chairs) and once they were done the vote-counters walked up to her and said: “Congratulations on all the applause you got but… we’re afraid that you didn’t win the campaign”. Alexandra stood up and blinked a couple of times and said “Thank you for telling me. I am not very disappointed.I suppose I didn’t really expect to win… but give my congratulations to the new president ” With that she flipped a strand of honey blonde hair over her shoulder, turned and walked home wondering if she would have even enjoyed being president.

Knock! Knock! Knock! Came the sound on Alexandra’s bedroom door. She grimaced. That would probably be her Dad ready to very loudly and very off-keyedly serenade, sing, implore, and command her to get up! “Mmph!” she grunted. She was not ready to be woken up yet. But it was her Mom, “Hey wake up Alex! Arise your soul arise.” Alexandra sighed, lay there with her eyes closed for a minute, then she sat up and got up. Later that day she sighed again. She was not ready to give her speech at the Wishing Club presidential meeting. Once every 6 months the Wishing Club elected a new president, vice president, and secretary. (which she found amusing considering the people in the club were ages 10-13 + there was thirteen club members). “Oh well”, she said to herself, “There’s no going back now!” Once up on stage (3 wooden crates put side-by side, + 5 stacked up to make a podium) she cleared her throat into the soda bottles that served as amplifiers and said, “This term I have found a couple of wishes in the wishing box which I find funny. Would you like me to read them?” “Yes!” everybody shouted.(obviously eager to hear). Pausing dramatically she plunged her hand into the wish-box. “OK here is one from Tiffany Sawyer, March 9, 2006. Ahem.” she cleared her throat again and read, “I wish that I had a pink 20 passenger seat limousine with a Jacuzzi and a TV.” Alexandra stopped reading and looked up in time to see everybody in the clubhouse roar with laughter. She smiled and held up her hand for silence and they quieted down. “Thank you, thank you, but let’s save your energy for the rest, shall we? Now this one was by Diana Montoya on April 4, 2006. “I wish that I had a green Unicorn. I would ride him all over the world in a couple of minutes.” Again the gales of helpless roaring and again she held up her hand and the roaring subsided into scattered titters and giggles “Now one more by Meredith Peters “I wish that i had a wand that made peple see things from my point of view when I pointed it at them” .after reading a few more wishes Alexandra finished her speech and at the conclusion was heavily applauded.By the time all the club members who hadn’t volunteered to stay and help clean up had gotten most of the soil out of their hair (from rolling around in helpless laughter) and gone home, Alexandra had changed out of her new lavender silk dress and into, a green tank top and some shorts (she had volunteered to stay and help clean up and put away the crates and folding chairs) and once they were done the vote-counters walked up to her and said: “Congratulations on all the applause you got but… we’re afraid that you didn’t win the campaign”. Alexandra stood up and blinked a couple of times and said “Thank you for telling me. I am not very disappointed.I suppose I didn’t really expect to win… but give my congratulations to the new president ” With that she flipped a strand of honey blonde hair over her shoulder, turned and walked home wondering if she would have even enjoyed being president.

Hi – it’s me and I’m typing really fast because I’m on borrowed time on a borrowed computer. I’m also having fun stretching and squishing the carnival picture to make it look like a funhouse mirror. Speaking of funhouse mirrors, I’ll mention that I stood in front of a one at the zoo Thursday and…well…I realized that in my 3rd trimester I already look like I’m standing in front of the funhouse mirror.
By the way, we are officially a large family now. It was cheaper for us to buy a family zoo pass than to pay admission just once. Does your family make the cut?

But back to the subject at hand:
Sorry I wasn’t able to acknowlege your contributions as they came in. If I missed yours somehow (very possible!) don’t hesitate to let me know. You could email me and I’ll add your post the next time I get to spend some quality time with a computer…or you can use the comments here to add a link to your own post.
Here’s the carnival; hope you laugh and remember what a blessing children are – your own children and OPK’s (those are Other People’s Kids).

• Spunky gives us Reverse Psychology and she even sent it to me already linked. Thanks!
• Carrie also sent me a pre-linked submission: Things that made me laugh

We have a small carnival this week. You people must have known my computer was going to be down all week. Why didn’t anybody tell me?

On with the show…

• A Smile For Today from Dana at Principled Discovery
• We’re Back from Bruggie Tales

Our girls love to make up pretend scenarios and role-play. It’s so cute to hear them set up the act, and instruct each other: “You be a 12 year old princess, whose mother died when she was very young, and I’ll be…” Sometimes they get very specific and dictate each others’ lines and emotions to them like a movie director. Somehow, nobody ever seems to take it as “being bossy” – it’s all justified in the name of creative license. The one thing that never seems to vary is that every single pretend character always has a British accent.

Our own Natalie made me laugh last week while Hubby was away at the Vision Forum Father Daughter Retreat. Maybe you had to be there, but I’ll tell you about it anyway:

She was at the table, while I worked on dinner a few feet away. All of her
sisters were outside, so she turned to me:

“Mom, let’s play a game.” She paused and thought, as the scenario unfolded in her head. “Let’s pretend that you’re my mom.”

I was busy, but I decided I had time for that game. I wondered when the British accent would kick in, and whether I should have one as well. I was reasonably sure she would instruct me on that point. I was also hoping for a servant – most of their characters do have at least one servant.

She furrowed her brow and thought hard. “…and we live in a house that we’re building all by ourselves! We’ll pretend it’s not done yet.”

I chuckled. Again she paused for thought – then it came to her. Astonished by her own brilliance, she continued:

“And let’s pretend that your husband is out of town on a business trip!”

er…did anyone notice that every bit of this is true? This little girl really loves her life.

And a latecomer, which according to the rules should really be in next week’s carnival, but Hey, I’m in charge here and I’m putting it in today so who’s gonna argue with me?

• Taleena at Sun Comprehending Glass brings us “The Cow Punchers”: Part of the continuing adventures of The Verbalist (5 yr old son) and the Muralist (3 year old daughter), the Cow Punchers chronicles their latest imaginative forays.

Here is the Handy Dandy Carnival Link List:

Kid Comedy rules & submissions
Submit a Link
Carnival #2
Carnival #3

That’s it for this week – thanks for going easy on me, but I know you all were holding back. I should have my own dearly beloved laptop back any day, so everyone jump in next week!

yes Virginia there is a Carnival of Kid Comedy #4.

We have been without a computer since Monday night when a lightening strike took down our computer but never fear there will be a Carnival #4 this week and it will be hosted right here on Life In A Shoe.

I am bringing a laptop hope to the missus tonight and combined with our brand spankin new Wild Blue internet service she should have the carnival up in no time!

So don’t forget that if you have a submission you can still email it to:
homeschoolmarm @t gmail d0t.c0m

TTFN
Pc3
Sitting in for KimC.

I spent the weekend at the beautiful Callaway Gardens southwest of Atlanta. Helping Vision Forum put on a fabulous Father Daughter retreat. Click HERE for pics

Our computer is down. Not the laptop that went down in February: that’s being repaired, and we hope to have it back by the weekend.
Now the desktop dinosaur that we dug out of the closet is acting up. I might be pretty quiet for the next several days – too bad, because I had lots to say!
Ah, well. It never hurts to practice at keeping quiet, right?

Sorry, Carnival fans, but I won’t even pretend to be creative this week. I did make one small change: the list is numbered instead of bulleted, to highlight the number of contributions – more than ever! Many thanks to everyone who participated. I love seeing the joy that others take in their children!
But that’s all you’re getting from me. My sister (#6 of 14) is in town from Tennessee just for the weekend, and I’ve gotta get some quality time with her! And hubby is out of town with our oldest for the weekend, so the space-time continuum is doing weird things already.
But never fear: kids can make you smile without the help of my brilliantly witty commentary.
Here are a few items I found that were too good not to share:

1. Gotta have my chocolate from Owlhaven
2. Recent quotes from Amy’s Humble Musings
3. You Gotta Have Teeth from Daring Young Mom
4. Alex is funny, too from The Dominion Family
5. When All Else Fails, Post Funny Kid Stories from Rocks in My Dryer

A cut-and-paste contribution, courtesy of A Suburban Housewife, who might want to remain anonymous after this:

When we lived in the Mojave Desert in California, our home was the typical kind for that area: low roof lines, stucco siding and, on the inside, ceramic tile flooring to help regulate the high temperatures in the summer heat. At this time in our lives, we only had our two sons, Harrison and Eli, who were roughly ages 4 and 2.

One afternoon I got attacked by a serious desire to deep clean. I put the boys in one bedroom with some favorite toys to play with and an Adventures in Odyssey cassette tape to listen to while I
cleaned. I got quite a bit done, actually, including washing and waxing my ceramic tiled kitchen/dining area floor. After that, since the boys were being so good together, I decided to head outside to water the rose bushes and cherry trees.

All of a sudden, I heard this hysterical shrieking and uncontrollable giggles. I rushed into the house to see what was going on and found my boys flying across the newly waxed tiled floor. What I couldn’t figure out was how they were sliding so smoothly when they were both bare-footed. I saw no socks on any of the feet.

Harrison then said, “Momma, we found these great skis for our feet. LOOK!!!” To my utter embarrassment, I saw, stuck to the bottom of each foot, pantyliners from my bathroom cabinet. Yep! They peeled the backing off and just stuck them to the bottoms of the bare feet. SKIS, indeed!

And formal contributions, from those of us who know a good laugh when we see one:

1. Shut Up! (You?re Making Me Laugh) from Brad?s Blog!
2. Bruggie Tales
3. Elusive Parts from For A Season
4. Picture this from The Greenhouse
5. Prayer Time Antics from Nerd Family
6. A Funny Story from Biblical Parenting
7. Manners from The Common Room
8. If you make a mom a muffin… from Musings along the Way
9. Songs We Sing from Tammy’s Times
10. the reality of sleepiness from World’s Greatest Place To Live INSIDER
11. What is your favorite part of vacations? from Why Homeschool

And here’s a glimpse at our own Life in a Shoe:

4yo Becca brushed her own hair this morning. She did a good job: it was gleaming and silky. As I was going over it again, just to check for missed tangles, she flinched and cried out: “Ow! Ow!” Then she paused and smiled.

“Oh, wait. I forgot – I don’t have any tangles!”

All done. Let me know if I missed your contribution, or if you find any typos or broken links. Save me a few minutes and check the links on the sidebar if you’d like to see the older editions of this Carnival or info on sending in your own contribution.

Hope you had some good belly laughs. Go hug your kids, and start getting ready for church tomorrow.

And here’s hoping we won’t the only ones at church who remember to set the clock forward. I was sooo hoping the clock thing was just an April Fool’s joke, but it’s not. Right? Is it?

The deadline for submissions to each Carnival of Homeschooling is 6PM, Monday evening.
Look here for instructions.
OK, that “note to self” was just a gimmick. I meant for everyone else to read it and act on it too. I was just hoping I might actually remember to send something to this carnival. The Cates will be hosting at Why Homeschool,and they always put on a great show!