From the mailbag: potty training

From Debby:

Does anyone have any good tips on bedwetting? My 6 year old just started doing
it after being dry all summer. My 8 year old never wet so I’m at a loss for what
to do.

And from Anonymous:

I am potty training my 4 year old and 2 year old sons right now, and have been in this process for 1 1/2 years. We tried the slow and go approach, where if the child wasn’t responding we would wait a month or two and try again. Did that for about a year, which got the 2 year old starting to potty. The 4 year old son is adamantly against pottying. And I am sure that if we left him to his own ideas, he would be the very first kid to enter kindergarten not potty trained…

I posted a bit about our own bedwetter. She was also very late in daytime potty training. In a nutshell, here’s our approach to wetting:

1. Rule out physical causes. Allergies and bladder infections can make a child prone to wetting. Some children just don’t seem to have the bladder capacity or control one would expect at a given age. They do mature at different rates.
2. If you are convinced that the child has enough control and maturity and is wetting on purpose, you may need to make it an obedience issue. We did this with a daughter who was content to run around wet. Accidents were acceptable if they were reported and dealt with immediately; running around in peed pants brought disciplinary action.
3. For nighttime wetting, limit but don’t eliminate liquids after dinner.
4. Make sure the child is getting plenty of sleep. I found that ours was more likely to wet (day or night) when we skipped our regular afternoon quiet time or rose very early that morning. I think she sleeps more heavily when she’s overly tired at night. Staying up too late makes her more likely to wet. She recognizes this and often puts herself to bed.
5. Enlist the child – our daughter took great joy in marking every day of the calendar that she stayed dry. It helped her to keep the goal in the front of her mind and improved her stats significantly.
6. If you are not convinced that the wetting is happening on purpose (i.e. child just doesn’t want to get up to use the bathroom), then be patient and understanding. Keep in mind, this problem is already unpleasant for the child.
7. Teach the child to take care of cleanup. This was instrumental in helping me maintain a patient attitude, and also teaches the child to take responsibility.

Would anyone like to add to this?

Related posts:

1. Potty training wisdom
2. Potty training
3. Potty training Q & A
4. Oh happy day! (potty training)
5. Potty training the little man