I have spoken highly of the Botkin family in the past. One of the many ways that they have impacted my thinking is the daughters’ dedication to encouraging their younger brothers to think and behave as young men.

The oldest boy in my family was 8 years younger than I was, and he already had 4 older sisters when he was born. The poor guy was surrounded by women of all sizes, with more to come. By the time I was married, there were 10 girls and just 2 boys.

We fawned over our brother as much as he would allow while he was very small, but he was determined to be a man-child, not a doll.

So we laughed at him instead. He was 2yo and thought he could tell us what to do. Comic relief!

When he was 4 or 5yo, he started telling us about his dreams: dreams of daring rescues and grand adventures. In his dreams, he saved us girls from dragons and bad guys and fires and a multitude of other dangers. Like Joseph’s brothers, we laughed at his illusions of grandeur. As if we would need aid from a 5yo, even in his dream world!

He carried on nonetheless, determined to be a man in the face of our cackling and ridicule. He grew into a fine young man, and now has a wife and 3 children. He often helps me and the children when Hubby is unavailable. I don’t laugh now at his offers of help. Instead, he laughs at me for struggling with a flat tire when I could have just called him.

But I have gained a little wisdom over the years, and I regret all the times I mocked him for trying to be a man when he was little. I realized this acutely while listening to and talking with Anna Sophia and Elizabeth, and my husband and I are making a self-conscious effort to do things differently.

Our boy is being encouraged right from the start to act as a young man. At 17mos, he opens doors for his sisters (even though they can do it more quickly and easily for themselves), he squishes scary bugs for them with his manly little boots, he carries “heavy” items for me (like his diaper bag), and helps with other chores. He is learning that he is never, ever to hit a girl, even if she is twice his size and 4 times his age, and makes him mad or hits him first.

As a future patriarch (cough, cough) he is learning more than how to boss his wife around. He is learning to be strong and courageous, to take care of the women in his family, to love them and give himself in service for them. He doesn’t have a wife yet, but he can certainly practice much of this on his sisters and mother, developing habits of protection, provision and nurturing that will later aid him as a husband, father and head of household.

His sisters are also learning from my own mistakes with my brother. They have heard me repent of how I treated him, and they think differently than I did at their age. They delight to see their little brother act like a man, and they do everything they can to encourage him in his role.

We’re new parents all over again when it comes to raising a son, but by God’s grace we can glean wisdom from Scripture, friends and family, and our own past mistakes.