Crying babies
I received this question and was hoping that somebody out there can share some insights for this mother:
Hi,
I am writing b/c I need some advice from the mothers I know. [Baby's name] has been a very difficult baby and we can’t seem to figure out why. I thought maybe one of you have experienced this problem and can give me some advice.
She cries all the time. She doesn’t go more than 10-15 min when she is awake without crying. She cries when we hold her, in her swing, I have tried everything. We have a bouncy seat that vibrates and that has been the only thing that calms her for a while…she just falls asleep…but as soon as you turn off the vibration she wakes up and starts fussing.
She had a hard time breast feeding from the beginning and never really got the hang of it. I also don’t think I was making very much milk. So, I tried a formula that is lactose free and for two blissful days she didn’t cry and I thought the problem was solved. Then she started again. I didn’t start breastfeeding again b/c by this time (two weeks old) I was well into postpartum depression and couldn’t keep it together emotionally and I needed help. So, now at three weeks, she still just cries all the time.
Several people have told me just to let her cry. I tried that but couldn’t stand it. Someone told me to try soy formula which I am afraid to do in case it gets worse. The doctor said she could just be a sensitive baby and needs lots of soothing. But as I said holding her doesn’t help either. We have also tried gas drops thinking it is just colic.
The thing that baffles me the most is she doesn’t cry at night. She wakes up every two hours and eats and then goes right back to sleep without any trouble. So, I was thinking that if she is in pain, she would be bothered at night too. I’m sure I am rambling and I don’t know if any of you can help but I am just trying to find some sort of solution or atleast something that might help.
Everyone agrees that she will probably grow out of it so there is some silver lining. Please write back if you have any suggestions. I guess I just want someone to write and say that the very same thing happened to them and you know exactly what to do. Just hoping.
What do you think? I’ve never had a baby that cried excessively, but they all have bad days and bad times during the day. Bethany did go through a period of several weeks where she spent most of the afternoon/early evening crying. When my baby gets inconsolable and all of her needs have been met (full belly, clean diaper, comfortable clothes, not lonely or bored) then I usually assume that she is overstimulated.
ln this case, I lay her down for a nap in a dim, quiet room. In most cases she will cry a bit and fall asleep. Sometimes she will stop crying and just rest quietly without falling asleep. She might cry a bit, then get quiet. Just when I think she’s asleep, she cries again. Rinse and repeat.
Occasionally she will keep crying…and crying…and crying. Call me heartless, but when the baby is not consoled by my presence, I don’t feel the need to be present. This is one area that hubby and I have purposed not let ovarian guilt rule. I’m listening and aware and I help her if I can, but she’s not endlessly crying right into my ear. If and when it becomes apparent that she’s not going to sleep, I get her up. Guess what? She’s nearly always so happy to see me that the crying doesn’t start again. Problem solved.
That’s my solution, but I realize it won’t work for every mom or every baby. What do you do?
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Filed under: Huh? Category?
One of the most helpful bits of advice I learned before our daughter was born was that babies “need” to cry when they are very young because it helps clear there lungs (from the book “Every Child Should Have A Chance,” written by a very traditional child doctor many years ago). I have seen many young parents go into panic mode when there baby starts crying, searching frantically for what must be causing the crying. Of course, there are cases where there truly is something wrong, but all babies are going to cry, and much of their crying will just be for the sake of “crying out loud.” But knowing that she needed to cry really helped us to be calm and just wait it out or try to carry her in a soothing way. It was only a short time, and we were able to tell if she was crying because there was really a problem or if she was just crying to cry.
In trying to soothe her, try the tummy/football hold. Having babies on their tummies can really help soothe them, both while being carried and while sleeping. Carrying our daughter like this when she was crying would usually stop the crying right away.
Our baby definitely was not a super-crier, but she did have her moments. We usually let her cry herself to sleep (she didn’t take a paci), but she started sleeping though the night at 7 weeks as a result, and was sleeping 12 hours a night shortly thereafter.
That’s what worked for us (and hopefully will for our future children), though I know everyone is different. The key things: !) Don’t panic when your baby cries. 2)Just let her cry for a while sometimes (have your husband help you with this–can be draining), and 3) carry her on her tummy.
My first thought with a newborn that cries all the time is to consider seeing a chiropractor and / or cranio-sacral therapist, *especially* if the baby was not in an optimal position before birth or had any appearance of a “rough ride out” (excessive molding, caput). My last baby was bumping her head into my hip for two days with no protective bag of waters in front of her head. She was miserable for the first 24 hours. When we took her to the chiropractor, it was like she’d gotten a personality transplant. I’ve seen similar results as an apprentice midwife with clients whose babies were posterior or asynclitic in labor - one mom said, “It’s like I’ve got a different baby” (since we saw the cranio-sacral therapist). This may not be the issue in this case, but it’s worth checking out.
My fussers were improved by eating in a quiet darkend room and stopping to burp them half way through. Burp her for awhile to make sure you got everything. Giving them a massage also helped . Sometimes they were helped by patting while laying over my arm, head at my elbow and all limbs hanging down sort of draped over my forearm. Look into that formula, Carnation in particular seems to cause fussiness.
I am a chiropractic believer for sure. That and sleeping in the swing for the first 4 months were my lifesavers for my 3rd child. I also did notice he got easily overstimulated.
Sora:
I’d forgotten about the chiropractic issue. My parents did the same with my sister, and saw an amazing change in her after a back adjustment.
My daughter was asynclitic, but I didn’t think about the fact it may have caused back issues for her. Thanks for mentioning that.
My friend’s youngest (now thirteen!) cried nearly non stop for six months. Then one day he just stopped. She didn’t change anything; he just stopped. Another friend’s baby cried and cried–the only way he would sleep was in the carseat on the drier. I think it was around three or four months that he let out this huge burp and then was all better!
Another lady I know had a crier. They eventually discovered that the valve that keeps gas down was weak. Once they started feeding him sitting up and keeping him as upright as possible, he got better. Her husband designed some sort of bed that held him upright to sleep.
I have also heard good things of cranio-sacral therapy. My doctor told us to do that if we had any fussiness that wouldn’t go away, but I’ve never had to look into it.
It’s strange to only be fussy during the day, though. I wonder if there’s some sort of over sensitivity to the light?
My prayers go out to you!
I would suggest looking into the KISS syndrome, e.g.
http://www.drhong.com.hk/kiss-e.html and to see a chiropractor and /or cranio-sacral therapist.
Hope this helps.
Erna
Investing in batteries is always good. The other big help in our family was gripe water. You can get it just about anywhere now days. Its a homeopathic remedy for colic, and other intestinal issues. My second kid loved the flavor of it. My first kid had colic and reflux and projectile vomited for 7 straight months. We didn’t know about gripe water then. Kid two didn’t have those issues but was a screamer. For the first two years or so he screamed the entire time he was not near me. His father could do nothing. The swing with baby einstein playing was the only way to calm him temporarily. It was horrible. Just find that one thing that works and run with it.
With first kid we did the chiropractics and it did offer some relief.
Dear mom with a crying baby,
I have no helpful advice at all. My screamer turned out to need tubes in his ears, but he didn’t sleep at night, either. I just wanted you to know that I am praying for you and your baby. I know how demoralizing it is to have your baby scream non stop. If a friend offers to give you a break - take her up on the offer, and don’t feel guilty.
My thought on this is to check the baby for reflux (Gastroesophageal reflux disease). 4 out of our 6 children had it and the way she is describing her baby is how our children acted. Our pediatrician gave them liquid zantac and once it kicked in it worked wonders. They all outgrew the Gerd by the time they were 1 year. Gerd is very painful, and I still do not understand why they did not mind it at night time. The test is very simple and not painful.
When we did not have insurance I bought zantac tablets at the local store and crushed them. The liquid is much easier, but nasty to take.
We are very natural minded however this is one time we chose to give the medicine due to their pain.
Just a humble thought from our experiences.
For this crying baby:
I have had 3 colicky babies. It is so hard when, as the mama, you can’t comfort your baby. My heart goes out to this mama.
Ditto the cranial-sacral therapy suggestion.
Additionally, I would give the baby probiotics. There is good evidence that this helps colicky babies.
postpartum.net has a help line for moms dealing with postpartum mood disorders. Help is a good thing.
I see that she isn’t breastfeeding currently, but at this stage it is still possible to start again, with help- if the mama desires that connection with the baby. Get in touch with a lacation consultant and/or visit breastfeedingonline.com/newman.shtml
for excellent advice on improving the breastfeeding relationship.
Consider swaddling the baby, tightly. Some babies need that security and their own waving arms and legs distress them. Wearing the baby may also be helpful. Dr. Sears has a book out called “The Fussy Baby”.
Finally, if the baby is going to cry whether or not you are holding her, it is ok to put her down and go somewhere else for a break. Drink a cup of tea and eat some nourishing food.
My only advice is possible reflux. My son had severe relflux or Gerds and cried a lot. It is very painful. Not all babies with Gerds spit up a lot either so you do not always know it is that.
I agree with the first commenter. The baby needs to see somebody who can look at her bone structure and see if maybe she has a pinched nerve or something else that would be causing her to be fussy. Something else that I have done with my children if they are fussy and cannot calm themselves is to use a homeopathic chamomile.
My first daughter was a screamer, and I finally realized that she was extremely opinionated and screaming was her way of telling me that I wasn’t doing what she wanted. She started this within days of being born! Our bouncer was about the only thing that made her happy, so I decided it was better not to fight it.
I am not a mother but I was a mother’s helper to a lovely baby with reflux and was lactose intolerant. Make sure that is not the case! You could atleast try soy formula and see if it helps.
I was going to suggest that your daughter may have a milk allergy, but since she seems to be fine at night, that might not be the case. GERD might be a great possibility as several have already mentioned.
We’ve had two of those kind of babies. The first WAS our first, and it was a nightmare because we had no experience, dh and I were both in college full time and he was working full time and I was working part time and switching off so our DS wouldn’t have a babysitter (and in hindsight I would have quit school, but it’s probably one of those things that saved us)
WIth our first, he really did just outgrow it. There was no magic pill, no massage, no therapy. He screamed for nine months and then suddenly was this cute, smart lil bug getting around on his own. He does have sensory integration issues, which explains a lot from his infancy…
With our second, he was #5 and I just did not have the energy to deal with it. He was worn in a maya wrap most of the time, which helped a LOT. I was breastfeeding and cut out milk and broccoli, which also helped a lot (so you might consider a trial of soy formula…most liquid formulas are 75% corn syrup, which is a LOT of corn). And my favorite…dh hardwired our swing to plug in, rather than use batteries. I’m sure not kosher, but it was such a lifesaver for those times I could not wear him in the sling.
Most of all, I’d suggest prayer and rest. It’s hard with a newborn anyway, and a newborn that requires a lot more than average just makes you doubt yourself as a parent. Trust in God in all things, including this. Take time to pray, and follow that still voice that is from Him. He’ll guide you…and you can rest easy in those choices. I know that my second child probably helped me feel redeemed as a parent, we doubted ourselves so much after the first. She was easy going and laid back, and just what we needed. Good luck and God bless.
I rarely comment but to help a mommy in need is a must.
I have had 2 major criers. One, was seriously ill and we didn’t discover it until she was 4 months old. The other we caught earlier because she is our youngest. From the information in the question, these are my thoughts.
The possiblility that the baby needs to see the chiropracter is really good. My son was adjusted when he was a couple weeks old and he felt so much better.
The possibility that the baby has an acid reflux problem is good too. I have two daughters that need to take meds for severe acid reflux. But often they cry at night too because laying flat makes it worse. If it is a tummy related problem that gas drops don’t help you might want to try some chamomile tea. Make it mild and of course cool it off to just warm. It worked for one of my daughters to sooth her.
I am thinking that maybe also, that there might be a sensitivity to light. Try keeping the house darker to see if that helps. Or, if you are using florescent bulbs, that could be the culprit. They save energy but for many they cause serious headaches. (I get serious headaches from them.)
I know that they say that some babies just cry. I don’t believe that a baby would cry the entire day without any reason. I had one baby who cried for 2 1/2 hours every night for the first 6 months. It was at the same time every day and then one day she stopped. It happened around 6:30 every evening. So I am sure it was just her way of letting off steam with how much stimulation she was getting.
The biggest piece of encouragement is to go with your gut. If you think something is not right, then you are probably right. If you cannot get answers, then maybe you might want to see a naturopathic doctor.
I pray that God sends you the answer you need to help your little one.
Blessings!
Mommy Reg
Her baby sounds just like my baby did a year ago when he was born. He was Milk/soy protien intolerant.
DO NOT LET HER CRY IT OUT. Having a non-stop-crying baby is not normal. There is a reason she is crying. She has a problem and crying it out will only teach her that she is alone in this world and she needs to cry harder. If she’s like our baby was, it will result in insecurities. We let our son cry it out at many times because there was nothing we knew to do. He would easily scream and scream for hours on end. It was awful. As a result, he is a very clingy baby and fusses when not being entertained. He loves people and thrives on attention. Even at 14 months old, he is still “colicky.”
Here is a website to give information:
http://www.mspicookbook.com/about.html
I went to a breastfeeding clinic when our baby was 2 months old. We found he had a very slight tongue tie which caused him to not nurse correctly. (I had bottle fed him pumped breastmilk for 2 months because he couldn’t nurse properly.) He also had several symptoms of MSP intolerance. He was a totally new baby after I changed my diet. Within days, he was nursing like a pro because they snipped the tied tongue.
Contact your local La Leche League or whatever lactation consultant service you might have. They can help with the MSP intolerance and give you tips on what milk would be a good alternative to breast milk if you are unable to nurse. By the way, it’s not the milk “lactose” (sugar) that babies are often allergic to, it’s the protien. That is often a misconception.
Another thing to help soothe your baby would be to try one of these: (moby wrap) http://store.babycenter.com/product/code/8580.do They are so worth the investment!
My second daughter was just like this mom described; she could cry all day, but always slept well at night. She also spit up an awful lot. She would scream for an hour or two after a feeding, and then throw up and be hungry again, so that we could start all over again. One thing I noticed with her, even during the first day after birth, was that she liked to be able to drink her milk in really fast. Since I have always had huge difficulties making enough milk for my babies, it would take her way too long to get enough milk, and the longer it took for her to drink, the longer she screamed afterwards. When she finally fell asleep in the evening, she would sleep long enough that by the time she woke, I had enough milk for her to get enough in a few minutes time, so then she could just go back to sleep without any crying at all. Bottle feeding didn’t do the trick though, she still screamed from that too. I just happened to read a couple days ago about the gastroesophageal reflux disease, and I am sure now that she had that too. When she was around 4-1/2 months old she miraculously turned into the happiest baby I have ever seen.
I’ll agree with the previous commenters who said to look for a good chiropractor. Call and ask if they have experience with infants, and try to find someone whose office is dim, quiet, has private treatment rooms, etc. if possible. If you’re nervous, know that you’ll probably be able to hold your baby the whole time, they’ll be very gentle, and it won’t hurt the baby at all. My son hardly noticed anybody was doing anything out of the ordinary when we took him in at 10 days old.
Also, try using a carrier like the Moby Wrap. You can carry a baby in lots of different positions through 35 pounds, so it isn’t like you have to spend a lot on something that is only for a newborn. My son never cried as much as your baby does, but when he became inconsolable, being tucked in close to my chest was a sure way to quiet him down quickly.
I truly hope this situation gets better quickly. Having a newborn is hard enough without excessive crying. Rest and get as much help as possible. Easier said than done, I know…
I have two suggestions. One is to swaddle her. Those swaddling blankets you can buy are great! I have never been able to swaddle very well and my babies could always get out of them. I started using the swadle blankets with our youngest because she had to be swaddled or she wasn’t happy. We would wrap her up and she was content.
The second suggestion is to see a chiropractor and have her adjusted. My husbands aunt had a baby that cried constantly for months after she was born. Nothing comforted her. They were constantly passing her off to one another and she would just cry, they put her down and she would cry. They had her adjusted and she was a completely different baby.
I have had several of these babies!
dairy protein may be the culprit, in which case a prescription formula would be necessary (but very expensive!) or if BF, completely cutting all dairy from Mom’s diet till baby is close to a year - hard, I know, but possible…..
swaddling (very snug!) helps sometimes
massage could be very beneficial, especially tummy massages.
probiotics can be very helpful
gripewater may help - but smells like pickles….
music with a deep base part may be soothing to baby (but drive momma nuts… ) I think somehow the ‘boom, boom, boom’ gives a sensitive baby something to ‘focus’ on.
wearing baby in a wrap type holder may help - you can just buy 5 yds of a soft lightweight (even stretchy) fabric & find carrying instructions online - look up Moby wrap for starters. Can probably find a suitable fabric at Walmart on the $1/yd table.
I’d never heard of trying a chiropractor - but I would certainly give that a try if I had another crier! All the things I recommended HELPed our babies, but the crying wasn’t eliminated, until they were close to a year old.
Hang in there, momma!!
My only crier was my last (and only girl). Pop her in the baby sling tight against me, all crunched up and she was happy. She out grew it by 3 months.
I also agree with the suggestions of the other moms.
{{hugs}}
I recommend Dr. Sears book The Fussy Baby book. I read it when my dd was 9 mo and it helped SO much to know I wasn’t just crazy. We tried all the above mentioned things to no real avail. Wearing her did help. She was like your daughter at night. Knowing you aren’t alone with a child like this helps immensely. She is still at age 4 quite “high needs”. I hope your depression gets better!
I’ve heard this happening a lot with formula fed babies, as opposed to breastfed, so my first thought is tummy pain. I would def. have them checked for acid reflux, and I’m a firm believer in chiropractors/craniosacral therapists as well. They can truly work miracles.
I have no problem with letting my baby cry if they’re just tired/overstimulated and needing sleep, but with a baby who cries constantly, I’m thinking that is more of a pain issue.
I agree with the commenter who said reflux. Our little one was similar (though not to that extent) and zantac made a night and day difference. I didn’t want to medicate her when she was so little, but again, it was night and day. She outgrew it by the time she was about 10 weeks.
I would have the baby checked for reflux. And maybe a swaddle blanket.
I use a pouch type wrap when the babies are little… I saw a Maya Pouch (different from the wrap in that there is not as much fabric), and made several. They are really nice when the babies are little and like to be snuggled close. I move to an Ergo when the babies are bigger.
Hope that helps!
I agree with Kim - if your presence isn’t consoling the baby set her down somewhere safe.
My brother-in-law was this way as a baby, but he also cried at night. At least until the dr. told her to give him Dimetapp to help him sleep.
Now she thinks it was probably ear or sinus pain he was dealing with. He grew out of it when he started crawling. As an encouragement - he is now an assistant pastor and happily married with 4 kids. He is also one of the most easygoing happy people you will ever meet.
Hi. I know this can be tricky because it is a lot of trial and error and that takes patience. I don’t know if you are an experienced mom or a 1st time mom so just take what you can use and leave the rest. I have 7 children and our problems have been mostly allergy and low milk (mom stress) related. With my last baby I also had to get help with PPD (anxiety) I’ll try to share some ideas with you and maybe something will apply to your situation and be helpful, along with all the other good advice given.
I have always scheduled my babies and that helps because it gives me a general idea of a fussy babies needs. It’s pretty simple but there are some tricks to it. If my baby has 6-8 wet diapers a day plus weight gain tells me baby is getting enough. That alone can reduce the stress of worrying if baby is getting enough, or confirm that baby is not getting enough. More on scheduling below in case you are interested in that.
If you are stressed that can affect your milk supply and then that can stress you more. And it doesn’t take a lot of stress, sometimes just everyday stresses and not enough water drinking during the day can cause low milk. Herb teas have made the difference for me between not being able to breastfeed and being able to. Since my low milk is due to stress I drink lots of chamomile and /or hops tea. I have also used Fenugreek tea and Red Raspberry Leaf tea but I think those help in different ways.
Since the baby does well at night I wonder if there could be a sensitivity to something you consume in the morning. There are lots of possibilities but the first one I would give up is dairy. You probably already are staying away from coffee, chocolate, and some of the more obvious culprits.
In scheduling babies I have found that the order is important. Sleep, then feed upon waking, then wake time (if any). If it gets out of order, this can make for a fussy baby. There are lots of ideas about what scheduling means so I’ll explain mine, for what it’s worth to you and what you may find helpful.
I call it loosey-goosey scheduling (as opposed to strict scheduling). I wake the baby for feeding every 2-3 hours during the day beginning at a convenient time each day, and let the baby wake me up during the night. If baby wakes before 3 hours it’s ok, I go ahead and feed baby and we just do our best, trying again the next day. No stress there. Eventually it kicks in. Like anything it takes practice. Any less than 3 hours can compromise the milk supply at first. If my milk is low I pump 1/2 way in between each feeding, or maybe 1 - 1 1/2 hour after each and that has helped.
If baby is old enough for a wake time the order can make a difference. What I mean is that when the baby wakes up early and he has been fussy until I feed him, but if he is fed first and then has some wake time, he is generally happy. So I put the order as more important than the clock time. Then baby can go to sleep after that and wake up to be fed again. Generally, sleep patterns follow eating patterns, so I don’t worry about establishing the sleep patterns. They will naturally follow once the feeding pattern is established.
Babies often wake up and cry for about 5 minutes between active sleep and deep sleep so it can be a good idea to wait and see before picking the baby up.
So, if baby is on a schedule and fussy I can make a pretty good guess based on what “time” it is, or I also might guess if there is another problem because it may not be “normal” for this baby.
Yes, the silver lining is that each day as you are trying these things and learning how to solve these problems, even as you are reading the emails, your precious baby is growing older and closer to the solutions and outgrowing the difficulties. Please be patient and kind to yourself and do what you can to take care of your baby’s mother. Next thing you know you will be the expert.
I had a baby with extreme colic - he cried up to 18 hours a day at times, through the night, while sleeping, nursing… everything. We discovered (after months of his suffering) that he had severe food allergies, and was being exposed through my breastmilk. I will say that it calmed quite a bit after he was 4-5 months old - at which point head to toe eczema developed. What finally helped the most was an elimination diet on my part (all forms of dairy, especially). Wearing him in the sling did help him to sleep more comfortably, I think the scrunched up position was more comfortable on his digestive system for some reason. Of course, lots and lots of prayer to keep myself sane was imperative!
I’m not an anti formula mommy, so don’t misunderstand me ;), but if this mom wanted to continue breastfeeding, it’s still very doable with a 3 week old. It would require supplementing in the beginning, of course. If all this difficulty turns out to be related in part to allergies, breastmilk might be helpful. The local LaLeche League is almost always a great source of support with these kids of issues. Thanks for the caring forum, Kim!
My daughter was also a crier and I also developed post- partum depression as a result. A wonderful lactation nurse, who helped me a ton, explained to me that it’s just the baby’s immature neurological system and that they do outgrow it. My daughter did outgrow it by about 3.5 months. A couple of things that really helped us was the book, “The Happiest Baby on the Block” by Harvey Karp. It tells you the 5 S’s to soothing a baby (sucking, shushing, swaying, swaddling, and side lying). It is an awesome book and they also have a DVD. He talks about the missing 4th trimester, what is mistaken for colic. The other thing is that my daughter did end up having acid reflux, which something like 80% of newborns do, and I supplemented with the Enfamil A.R formula (AR= Added Rice) and that made a huge difference Hope this helps you out!
I would get the baby check out by a dr. It could be that it is having a reflux problem or sometimes taking a baby to a certified cranial chiropractor to get a treatment on its head can help a fussy baby.
After two high need babies my doctor finally told me that it is okay to accept them for who they are and to stop looking for what is wrong with them. Some babies go through this time as a “fourth trimester” or they just aren’t comfortable in their own skin yet.
I also faced PPD and anxiety attacks due to the colick and nonstop crying of TWO babies. However, THERE IS HOPE!
We were given the dvd “The Happiest Baby on The Block” and followed some of the advice. Swaddling, Shushing, Swaying, Sucking. If we weren’t doing these all day, she was crying.
We experienced the same as you, where they were quiet at night. I took to understand that this was because we were all calm, quiet and peaceful at night, and the baby could basically retreat back to her womb like environment.
I wish you the best of luck, you are doing a wonderful job just by being concerned. Best to you and family!
Hi, I’m a mom of5 and have had 2 babies who were really fussy. Always. I gave them both liquid sub lingual b vitamins, probiotics, nursed them, and stopped all grains in my diet. Within 2 days they were significantly better and within 2 weeks, they never had a cranky attack again. My oldest son now 17, I tried these things hit and miss. I tried soy, no help. Swaddling helped but he still cried continuously. My mom suggested b vitamins because it seemed as though his nerves were itchy or tense. I gave him 2 or 3 drops of sub lingual b vitamins 5 times a day. I added the probiotics as a digestive aid, but boy did they work. Id crush up a chew able tablet ( now they have powders for babies) and add it too the bottle. Id do this 3 times a day( twice what the bottle suggested) and pump my milk to nurse him. It was surreal how much better he felt. With my last son, now 5, I started at 2 weeks, as he was just as fussy. He still needs the extra b vitamins and probiotics, but he is content unless we stop. He, by the way, has grown better and faster than any of my other babies. Good luck and GOD bless!!!!
I’d have her assessed for reflux. Even if she’s not showing classic signs of it, it may still be happening and causing her distress. The Bean was like a whole different child once we found the right medication to control her reflux.
My oldest son had the feeding issues (and still does at almost 7) and the Dr suggested Isomil. He couldn’t tolerate the brand name, but took to the Walmart brand just fine. He could not tolerate the older toddler version as he aged, nor milk of any type until age 3, so he continued to get this formula in his cup. After 3, we were able to make other substitutions. It took a bit of trial and error and still does, to determine what he can and cannot tolerate.
My middle son nursed just fine with no issues.
My youngest son does not have the same issues, but did go through a short bout of intolerance from about weeks 3-9. I was unable to nurse him after week 1 due to some issues that I had. I had all three via C-Section due to complications, and I am allergic to all surgical prep solutions and had a horrific reaction after this delivery. I could not nurse (or endure pumping) while I had this reaction that lasted 4 months! During this time, his pediatrician put him on Alimentum. This is very expensive, but they were able to give me a case of samples they had on hand, and they had the company representative that visited them weekly leave me a case. All I had to do was stop by once a week to pick it up. After week 9, I guess his issue resolved and he just wouldn’t drink it anymore. We went back to the Dr and he gave the OK to try normal formula, and he has been fine ever since.
I hope relief is in sight for you!
I had a similar “crier” and my mother’s intuition told me something was wrong. Everyoen else, including my DH and mom, kept telling me she she was fussy. At 2 weeks old I asked my doc to give her a thourogh exam and it was discovered her collar bone had broken on delivery. She was quiet in bed, as holding still in sleep did not bother her. But nursing, carrying her etc set off pain in her shoulder. Maybe a head to toe exam isin order to make sure it is not some rare situation like that. It’s worth a look. I felt so bad after I knew my tiny one had been in pain when I tried to feed or love on her!
TO the mother with the crying baby,
My brother and SIL went through this with their little one - she cried endlessly at times with some crying sessions lasting up to 8 hours. A chiropractor from their church told them to bring her in - they were skeptical but at 3 months they were desperate enough to try it , well, lo and behold it worked! The delivery had apparently been hard on her and all she needed was an adjustment! That ended the endless crying from that point on! I dont know if this is the problem for your little one but you might prayerfully consider trying chiropractor.
Praying for you,
Mandi
I had a baby that cried and did not want to nurse for the first two months. Rather, she wanted to nurse for 5 minutes every half hour round the clock. Then she would cry….and cry…..and cry….. she is my third child. Something was not right and I was tired and feeling rather like a failure. Then my friend, Jenny said… cut the milk out of your diet. And I saw improvement, I then started a serious allergy elimination diet. I found she was allergic to soy, milk, nuts, wheat, eggs, and legumes. I went to an allergist to confirm my findings with a skin test. And they told me, I was correct! I modified my diet, my baby quit crying, and started getting nice and fat and sleepin through the night! Whew! that was some first three months! So, investigate the food allergies. The place to start, without sounding gross, is the diaper. What is goin on there? If your nursing, does it look like mustard little yellow mustard seeds? Is the baby having mucousy runny diapers? If it dosen’t look right, try an elimination diet…. may be the key…..
I would certainly have her checked out for acid reflux. I have had experience with that in my babies, and it seems to be very painful. Even if you are not seeing a lot of spit-up, they can still be refluxing inside. Your pediatrician or a pediatric GI can help you figure it out.
She sounds like my aspie, Caleb. He was very light sensitive as well as sensitive to loud pitched noises. I would try cutting back the lights … even drawing the drapes during the day if you have to… and watching the noise pitch levels. Of course, call the doc too and maybe they can run some tests to rule all the possible scary things out so mom doesn’t worry!
Pray she gets some rest and that the ppd doesn’t set in full blown and that she can enjoy her little one!
God bless,
Sallie
uhm, I meant high pitched noises…oops
A close friend of mine had a baby with a protein allergy who cried non-stop like this mom suggests. The story sounds very, very similar. My friend’s baby didn’t cry at night either, and the mom made n assumption that she was exhausted from crying all day. The allergy was medically confirmed; she switched to a very expensive formula and reflux medicine. Something to question…
I didn’t read through all of the comments, so please forgive me if you have heard this already.
My 2nd was a very fussy baby. I was floored. What baby doesn’t like a car ride?! Anyway, we found out that he had thrush. (Yeast infection in his mouth - google it to learn more) It was stubborn to get rid of, but once we did he was much better. I would still say that he was on the fussier side but SO much better. Have you tried wearing the baby in a sling? Mine was also a fan oh that. Close and tight.
Hopefully out of all of these comments you find something that helps.
don’t be afraid to talk to your Dr.
AND for you… if you feel like your postpartum depression is more than just crying at the sight of a diaper,
My advice to that poor, tired Mama would be this:
Get yourself a good lactation specialist, and get your baby back to the breast.
Then get yourself a good sling and wear your baby. Even if it’s all day!
If you don’t see improvement, I’d be genuinely surprised! Some babies just need Mama more than others’.
Best wishes to you!
PRAY. Let the Lord guide your mother arms and mind through His almightly knowledge.
I have no grand advice. I just know that every baby is different and that you should follow your instincts as you consider all these great ideas.
Hang in there knowing that it won’t always be like this. I had a really difficult #3 and can still remember the desperate and lonely place it was. But now all is well and it will be for you too.
I’m saying a prayer for you tonight. I don’t know who you are, but the LORD does.
I had the exact same baby!! My second child, Silas, was a screamer and a crier. He would nurse, cry for 3 hrs, and nurse again. At night, he would nurse, doze off for 30 min, and wake up and cry until his next feeding. I started feeling very depressed/crazy from all the crying and lack of sleep. I really had to just read my Bible and pray ALL THE TIME! And I still feel guilty, two years later, about how little attention my older child (15 months when Silas was born) got during this period.
However, I have no insight. We did use an acid blocking medication with him, which helped a little, and I switched from nursing to lactose free formula, which helped a little more. But honestly, he never slept through a night until he was about a year old. And he was also always slightly fussy until that age. Now he eats/drinks regular dairy and we took him off the medicine when he was about a year. But I still have no idea.
We were having a hard year that year (no money, I was adjusting to quitting work and being home all day, my husband was working 60 hrs a week to just keep beans on the table) and I have always wondered if he just didn’t pick up on that stress from me. And then it was like a vicious cycle of “I know he is going to cry, so I don’t even want to hold him or deal with him,” which I am sure he also sensed.
However, flash forward two years and we are doing great. My husband took a better job and is home more, we downsized houses, and I am more rested and adjusted.
Three things that were a life saver for me when I had some fussy babies were: The DVD called “The Happiest Baby on the Block” (can be rented at Netflix if you don’t want to buy it). The methods on it are gentle and really did help. Another thing I discovered back when I had my 3rd baby was Dr. Sears’ books (I think it’s called the Fussy Baby book or something like that) and he has a lot of info now on his website as well. And third is Gripe Water, which is now available in many stores- even Walmart carries it around here, or online. Those are my Top 3 helpful hints for calming fussy babies.
And as mentioned already, it could be a sensitivity to the formula baby is on.
My middle child was my worst crier. I ended up cutting out ALL dairy products while I was breastfeeding him, and it made a HUGE difference. BUT, he was awful at night, too before I changed my diet, so that sounds different than your case. They make many types of formula (ranging in price of course), I think there’s one called Nutramigen (sp?) that doesn’t have milk or soy if you want to try that route.
At any rate, hang in there–I know with a screaming baby, the day can seem to go on forever. I am glad you are at least getting some relief at night. Good luck!
I recently read a book called “Is this your Child” and it mentions that excessive crying in infants can be due an allergy to milk if breastfeeding or to the type of formula (whether it’s made from the whey or the casein of the milk and also due the the corn sweetener they put in it, Dextrose). Most babies who were taken off formula w/ dextrose showed marked improvement.
I have also heard good things about taking an infant to the chiropractor too!
Another really good book about sleeping and feeding and scheduling is “Becoming Babywise”. I don’t think I would have had a fighting chance without this book!
There are ways of getting back to breastfeeding too. My cousin had to go on medication for a bit to start lactating again, but it is possible! And when you can’t take it anymore, put the baby down and go outside. As far from the house as you can get.
Take a breather and try to relax. Also, call someone to come over and give you a few minutes of relief.
I woulod recommend at least trying Gripe Water! You can purchase it at a healthfood/herbal type of store. I used ths with our last child and wish I had known about it earlier! It never hurts to try!!!
My first is 6 months now. He was a crier. He cried all the time. A couple of things really helped. First, I learned the 5 S’s. Swaddle (very tight, with arms and legs straight), Side or stomach (I held him tight against my chest on his side), Suck (I gave him a passy), Swing, Shush. It worked every time!
I also gave him and still give him an acidofulus a day. It has to be a kind that needs to be refrigerated or it’s not good. I open up the capsule and pour the powder in his mouth. This coats his stomach and helps his digestion.
I got him on a feeding schedule. He wanted to nurse every hour. It was so tiresome! I started feeding him every 3 hours on the dot! That way they learn that they don’t need to cry to get fed, they know that they will get fed every 3 hours. When he’d go through a growth spurt, I fed him when I could tell he was hungry, maybe every 2 hours.
He still is pretty fussy most of the time. But he’s teething for one thing and he has an obsession with being held. I could use advice on that!
Hope this helps! Trust me, I know what it’’s like. Not being able to get anyting out of church, unless hubby takes him.deciding not to go places, cause you know you won’t have any fun anyway. Ect.