Isn’t it amazing how differently men and women see things? Hubby and I ran into the grocery store a couple of last-minute items on Thursday night, and came out with 2 very different views of the experience.
Of course mine is the correct view, but just for fun we agreed to each write up our own account without peeking at the other’s until we were done.
Her account
Thursday had not gone as expected. I planned to shop on my way into town that afternoon, but as our family left Vision Forum at 9 PM I had to tell hubby that I didn’t have the sausage for Friday Night Pizza on the following day. Since I would probably not be going on my usual Friday grocery trip, did he think it would be a good idea to run in the store tonight on the way home?
He thought it was a good idea, and as we pulled into the parking lot I mentioned that I had better get flour too. Homemade pizza crust for 11 takes a lot of flour, and I wasn’t sure just how much we had at home. After all, what’s the point of stopping for sausage if we still can’t make pizza?
We left the kids in the van and went inside, just the two of us. It was like a mini-date. I love these impromptu stops. As we entered the store I reached for a shopping cart, but when hubby looked surprised and asked just how much I was getting, I shrugged and took the hand-held grocery basket instead. I wasn’t looking forward to carrying 3 or 4 lbs. of frozen sausage and a bag of flour, but I knew he would help.
We ambled together all the way to the back of the store and paused to look at the specials in the meat department. We both agreed that less than $2/lb is a good buy for boneless skinless chicken, so I grabbed 3 packages while we were standing there.
Then we split up: he headed for cough drops at the far end of the store, while I turned up the freezer aisle to get the sausage. It was on sale, and the regular price had been raised (again!) so I bought 9 lbs, enough for 2 weeks instead of 1 plus a bit extra for hubby’s breakfast. I headed for the checkout with my small basket nearly full and growing heavy.
As I came up to the front of the store, I saw my honey heading my way. Oops – flour! I was right in front of the baking goods aisle, so I met his eyes and went for the flour. I got two bags, since pizza would use nearly an entire bag. While I was there I added a box of salt to the basket. It was getting heavy, but I remembered that we had less than a teaspoon of salt in the house. Pizza crust w/o salt tastes like cardboard, and nobody wants to eat cardboard on Pizza Night.
On my way back up the same aisle, I caught sight of the cocoa powder. I rarely shop at that particular store, but their brand of cocoa at that store is rich and very inexpensive. As I passed, I tossed 2 cans into my overflowing basket, hoping hubby would come help me carry it.
No such luck. I struggled to the front of the store, burdened by 40 lbs of groceries. Why did I let him talk me out of a regular shopping cart? And where was he? He was heading my way as I went down the baked goods aisle, and now he was nowhere in sight.
I spotted him coming from the opposite directions with a couple of bottles in his arms (cough drops, huh?) and we met at the checkout, where I finally set the basket down and rested my aching arms.
And what did he have to say for himself? Did he apologize for leaving me to haul the groceries alone? No. He feigned shock at the amount of food it takes to feed 11 people, claimed I never mentioned the need for flour, and refused to recognize the logic in buying salt and cocoa when I could have just spent $12 in gas to come back again tomorrow. I noticed he didn’t complain about the 15 lbs. of chicken though. Not a word about that little unplanned purchase.
And men say women are illogical.
His account
Sausage.
Sausage is how it started.
Ladies, let me ask you a question. If a woman says she is going into a store for a specific thing, why is it she can’t just go into the store for that one thing, obtain the thing in question, and remove herself with said thing in tow?
Or put rather simply: If my wife says “I need sausage,” why do we end up with sausage, flour, chicken, cocoa, and salt etc, etc, etc?
I digress. A bit of history is in order, I think.
Last week during the ride home, with the entire family in tow, the wife asks me to stop for sausage.
Just sausage.
This on the heels of a discussion in which we decided that 10:30 in the PM was not the time to dash in to Walmart for the main grocery jaunt. No we decided (quite wisely I might add) it’s just too late to put the fam through such an ordeal, let’s get the little dolls home to bed. Which brings us back to the question.
Sausage. Seeing that I am an obliging sort and the sausage is for the weekly ritual, after all – friday night pizza- and the grocery in question is on the way home, I was happy to make a brief detour.
Now on the way through the door I notice my better half reaching for a basket. “What do you need a basket for?” says I. “After all we are only getting sausage.” At this point she showed a bit of uncertainty under my bewildered look. “Well I guess I could use the smaller basket” as she put the large rolling beast back into the queue and reached for one of the “carry on your arm” types.
“And flour,” answers she “I told you I needed flour.”
Well I certainly didn’t hear her say she needed flour but if it’s flour is needed then flour must be obtained.
So off we go into the bowels of the store in search of said sausage and flour ( and my cough drops…the reason I was along for this late night foray into the bowels of the grocer).
In the interest of full disclosure I will admit to encouraging the purchase of a bottle …er item or two near the front of the store, near the north end of the main aisle, but they were in passing and I was more than happy to carry them so as not to take up much needed sausage room in the red plastic basket on my better-half’s arm. Then off to the sausage.
We acquired the much needed sausage, remarking as we did on the 30% increase on the cost. At this point I was off to the hinter-side of the grocer’s to find much needed menthol relief, she took her red plastic conveyance of sausage toward the baked goods aisle we both agreed to rendezvous at the cashiers in a few short minutes.
Or so I thought
Having acquired the cough drops, I rounded the corner of the front main aisle and was pleased to find my timing impeccable, for my beloved was right at that moment coming up to the front and heading toward the cashier. With a bit of luck she would reserve our place in line, I would join her , and we would be firmly ensconced in the van heading towards a full night’s sleep in a few short minutes. I looked to my side as I passed the haagen daaz pints and when I once again faced forward she was gone.
Not in the line.
Not at my side.
Completely disappeared.
I marched up and down the front aisle checking each and every row of foodstuff hoping to catch a glance of the better half with sausage and flour in tow but no such luck. So I settled into a waiting position, at the north end of the aisle, hunkered down with the watchful gaze of a safari hunter looking for game. Sure enough in a little while she came into view but was staggering under the weight of the haul, a hand on each side of the basket that was designed to carry on one’s arm, feet firmly shoulder width apart to provide a sufficient wheel base for the load in tow and I noticed there was far more in her possession than sausage and flour.
“I remembered a few other things I needed,” my love explained as we unloaded.
As I stood there in line with her I realized we are dealing with a basic difference between the sexes. My own theory is along these lines:
Men see the acquisition of sausage, flour, cough drops etc. as a surgical strike, a mission, a mount to be summited. Get in, get out in the most direct line in the least amount of time, with as few casualties as possible.
Women see said acquisition as an exercise in relationships. The sight of sausage reminds them of the fact that flour is low and will be out once pizza is made, and speaking of cooking I was going to make brownies so I need cocoa, and the last time the kids made brownies they told me we are nearly out of salt…..long days, tired kids, grocery trips on the ‘morrow and bedtimes be hanged.
The next day when I related this to a friend who was standing near his wife, they both started laughing… leaving me to believe I am not the only man who has ever asked the question.
Why can’t we just get the sausage?
Related posts:
Ha!
I can’t feel a bit bad for you fellow.
You knew what you were in for;-)
Besides, I bet you won’t be complaining when that cocoa turns into Brownies!!!
ahh but saying I knew what I was in for practically concedes the point.
Very funny, it makes perfect sense to grab what you know you are out of while you are at the store…..why otherwise someone woul dhave been running to get it the very next day!
Very funny, it makes perfect sense to grab what you know you are out of while you are at the store…..why otherwise someone woul dhave been running to get it the very next day!
I just can hear Perry singing
PROFESSOR HIGGINS:
Why can’t a woman be more like a man?
Men are so honest, so thoroughly square;
Eternally noble, historically fair.
Who, when you win, will always give your back a pat.
Why can’t a woman be like that?
Why does every one do what the others do?
Can’t a woman learn to use her head?
Why do they do everything their mothers do?
Why don’t they grow up, well, like their father instead?
Why can’t a woman take after a man?
Men are so pleasant, so easy to please.
Whenever you’re with them, you’re always at ease.
Would you be slighted if I didn’t speak for hours?
COLONEL PICKERING:
Of course not.
PROFESSOR HIGGINS:
Would you be livid if I had a drink or two?
COLONEL PICKERING:
Nonsense.
PROFESSOR HIGGINS:
Would you be wounded if I never sent you flowers?
COLONEL PICKERING:
Never.
PROFESSOR HIGGINS:
Well, why can’t a woman be like you?
One man in a million may shout a bit.
Now and then, there’s one with slight defects.
One perhaps whose truthfulness you doubt a bit,
But by and large we are a marvelous sex!
Why can’t a woman take after a man?
‘Cause men are so friendly, good-natured and kind.
A better companion you never will find.
If I were hours late for dinner would you bellow?
COLONEL PICKERING:
Of course not.
PROFESSOR HIGGINS:
If I forgot your silly birthday, would you fuss?
COLONEL PICKERING:
Nonsense.
PROFESSOR HIGGINS:
Would you complain if I took out another fellow?
Pickering
Never.
PROFESSOR HIGGINS:
Why can’t a woman be like us?
[dialog]
PROFESSOR HIGGINS:
Why can’t a woman be more like a man?
Men are so decent, such regular chaps;
Ready to help you through any mishaps;
Ready to buck you up whenever you’re glum.
Why can’t a woman be a chum?
Why is thinking something women never do?
And why is logic never even tried?
Straightening up their hair is all they ever do.
Why don’t they straighten up the mess that’s inside?
Why can’t a woman behave like a man?
If I was a woman who’d been to a ball,
Been hailed as a princess by one and by all;
Would I start weeping like a bathtub overflowing,
Or carry on as if my home were in a tree?
Would I run off and never tell me where I’m going?
Why can’t a woman be like me?
love you guys
Marta and Faith
Hmm… I think I’ve heard this story before. No, wait… it was my husband and I, not you two!
I’m with you, Kim! I understand your thought process completely. 
Thanks for the laugh! I cannot wait to share this post with MY better half! Sure sounds familiar
.
Blessings,
Tina
Too funny! I’m just glad the two of you got to “get out” together!
Ha. I can definitely see both sides. I’d certainly be doing the same as you, Mother – it makes no sense to not buy what you need while you’re there – but I suppose you can’t blame him for expecting sausage and flour when sausage and flour was the plan. I’d better remind myself when I marry to forewarn my husband that if we make a stop at the store for something, I will grab other things we need – within reason – while we’re there. Poor man. I feel sorry for him already, and I don’t even know who he is yet.
~Joanna, oldest of seven and looking forward to my own quiverfull, someday.
lol!! me and my hubby in a nutshell…
Thanks for the funny post! I think the same way, Kim. If you’re already there….why not just get it now? Less things to have to remember to get later.
Hmmm….I find Kim’s story makes much more sense! That was funny—thanks for sharing!
Now, take a trip to Home Depot with us and then relay your story to us all : )
This is our typical trip to Home Depot or Lowes: The clerk walks down the aisle once and asks if we need help. “No, Thank you,” we say. “My husband/dad is just picking out a piece of wood.”
Then 10 minutes later, the same clerk walks by again. “You’re still here?” “Yep,” we answer, knowing where this is leading.
Third trip past, the clerk notices that everyone present has found those portable stairs or a flat cart to hold down. We know we’re in for a long wait.
Then, we get in line. We’re finally ready to go, and off disappears husband/dad while we are left with a cashier who is probably being timed on how long it takes her/him to check his/her customer out.
We profusely apologize, exclaiming that we really don’t know where he disappeared to. As we tell the cashier to check us out and if he has something else to buy we’ll get in the back of the line again, hubby appears saying he’d just remembered something else he needed.
NOT what we went to Home Depot for, but remembered the need and went for it.
AND, since we live twice as far from Home Depot, WalMart or HEB as you do, it surely would be justified/appropriate to remember while we’re at the store and not the next day and have to make yet another trip to town, right?
Does this story sound familiar? Does it help to put things in perspective for y’all? I sure hope so. : )
And, I can hear it now. “What do you mean you don’t have enough flour or salt for pizza?” Didn’t we stop at the store last night so that we would have pizza makings? You want me to stop again? Or you had to make a trip to town for salt and flour??? Mighty expensive salt and flour!
Are we having chocolate brownies Tuesday night? : ) Will you be partaking, Perry? Or is it a matter of principle that you not partake of wonderfully, moist, chocolaty, delectable, sweet brownies?
I’m just saying……… : ) : ) What goes around comes around.
In Him,
Laralee
http://PlymouthRockRanch.com
Recording the Faithfulness and Provision of God for Future Generations
Hello, I love this story, so funny and so true!
I just wanted to let you know though, that ever since you posted the previous post (Comedic Brilliance), not only is there just a blank box with an “X” in it under the title, but I can’t scroll down any further or see any of the previous posts. I don’t know if this is happening for everyone, but I hope you can fix it.
Thanks!
Charity
Just so ya know, it does work the other way around sometimes! I am a mission oriented shopper, NO NONSENSE! In…out….as little damage as possible. Meals in possession, plan of attack in mind…….GO! My DH is a different variety of shopper all together, he will ponder the collection of veal chops on sale…..wonder about the difference between 4 cheese and 5 cheese pasta sauce….get 10 ocello sponges because they are half price. So, that in mind…..Perry, I smile and nod fully in agreement!
Dear Mrs Seargeant,
You said ““My husband/dad is just picking out a piece of wood.”
It seems to me that this has nothing to do with shopping but everything to do with a completely different sort of neurological disorder known as perfectionism. Since I do not suffer from that particular condition I am afraid I cannot relate.
As for the brownies….um no I’m not sharing.
To all the other kind ladies who have commented this morning I would simply say context is everything. I do not object to the better half maximizing her time in the grocers as a rule.
I simply object to it at the end of a 14 hour day
Also Marta I have only one thing to say….
AMEN sister.
Too funny! Being a woman, of course I’m siding with Kim. Besides, you realize that if you stick strictly to the “sausage only” rule then you have to put back the cough drops and “bottle…er item”, right?
I’m on Kim’s side also. I can’t help but think you (Perry) would appreciate the extra time and extra stuff purchased, even after a 14-hour day, when the alternative is to waste more time and money going back for it later. That said, this is a good example of why my husband and I do not normally shop with each other. If we are ever forced to go into a store together, we agree beforehand on the *exact* number and description of items and then split up and shop separately. Fun story!
How boring would it have been to just buy the sausage? Is their a woman in America who can enter a grocery and only purchase one thing? Especially one with a family of 11? I think not.
I read this to my husband and he chuckled. He said after 23 years of marriage he would know that if I said sausage I really meant sausage, bread, milk, etc. He is such a smart man. lol.
Enjoy the brownies and the pizza!!
Julie
LOL! Boy, does that sound familiar. My husband does not like to “just let me run in”. He always, shall we say, strongly offers to go in for me.
Kim, may I please ask you the name of the store? I want to try their cocoa.
The store is HEB. If you’re in Texas, they’re everywhere. In San Antonio, it’s the only major grocery chain in town.
Wow. You don’t go to HEB very often? That’s my favorite grocery store! (though I do prefer some locations to other. Brodie or Riverside versus William Cannon or 1st)
I shop mainly at Costco and Walmart, and I get most of our meat and produce from Sprouts.
That’s where I find the best prices on the things I buy.
I notice that for all the long winded explanations that Perry gave, he’s afraid to show his face with his comments. I’m just saying that a box with the phrase “perryc profile photo” is a bit fishy to me.
How’s this?
LOL Perry!! I love it, that is hilarious!
Much Better. Now your post is MUCH more credible! haha.
this was good and true and it all made perfect sense to me
@Petersonclan
Well, I totally get the whole, while I am here, I am grabbing all that I know I need and what is on sale….
The sad thing is, I only live 5 minutes from the store, and our clan is only 3 kiddos strong.
I think that women do this because they generally have a better memory for the lots of tiny things that a household needs to cook well.
I know that if it were the parts store, and hubby went in for Oil, he would totally stock up on brake cleaner, shop rags etc if they were on sale, and if he needed them!
Haha! I think this is less of a man vs. woman issue and more of a cook vs. eater issue. I think any household manager thinks along the same lines as Kim would. It’s not necessarily gender, but more along the lines of employment. I’m sure you both could go to PC’s workplace and find vast differences there, because PC works there and has a system and knows the in’s and out’s.
Just my 2 cents.
Also, I’ve noticed that the Frugal Hacks blogroll is not operating. Thought you’d want to know.
Haha have just read this story and it made me laugh out loud. When I was younger I could never understand why mum would say she was going into the supermarket for bread and milk and then come out with pasta, meat, potatoes etc. However now I am older and go to the supermarket I totally understand what its like. You see something that is a bargain so you have to buy it to put in the freezer, then you see that your favourite washing up liquid has been reduced to £1 a bottle so you have to buy 5 of them, before you know it you have come out with nearly a weeks worth of shopping and you only went in for milk and bread! Kim I am totally on your side with this one!