Anonymous
Hi. I was wondering if you could direct me to any blogs of families who follow the quiverfull philosophy but have also experienced recurrent miscarriage. Specifically I am looking for people who are in a situation where they have lost more babies than they have living but they continue to TTC [trying to conceive]. I have had a hard time finding anything of the sort, and that is my situation (1 living baby, 3 miscarriages) and it would be encouraging to read about the stories of others who have been in my shoes and continue to TTC. It seems like most people in my situation give up
We had a stillborn daughter and two miscarriages, so we do understand the sorrow of losing a child you never knew, though we have also been blessed with plenty of living children to soften the grief. I’m sure you realize – at least in your head – that it’s better for a soul to praise God for all eternity, than never have lived. Your children are temporarily lost to you, but they are with God already and you’ll live with them forever soon enough.
But that doesn’t make it easy now, does it?
I know some of our readers are in the same boat. I’m hoping they’ll speak up with an encouraging word for you.
I have had two miscarriages during our years of infertility. We have one daughter, whom we adopted, and I am newly pregnant again. TTC is such a difficult journey, but we continue to hope (and thank God for the sweet dear little one we do have).
Here is a link to one post on my blog where I mention our losses: http://tinyurl.com/9o5a7h
Blessings,
Michele
we had 4 children very quick like and in our younger years listened to well wishing christian family members and had a vasectomy. we regretted in always… We decided to trust God for our family size and have a vasectomy reversal. Now mind you, we had 4 healthy pregnancies and no miscarriages. Then 6 years later we get the reversal and get pregnant in 4 months after and had 2 miscarriages in a ROW. And everyone (those wonderful well wishing christian family members) said, “Maybe the 4 was enough and you should have left well enough alone and at the end of the day you should not play God, etc”!!!!! Well, long story short after much discouragement, we did conceive (rather rapidly) have a very healthy baby boy and then 8 months later conceived again and I am currently 23 weeks along…
DONT GIVE UP HOPE… God still is in control… I know its hard to trust Him. I know it will be harder to trust Him when you conceive again and each day you wonder if you will miscarry… It is a huge walk of faith, huge… sometimes minute by minute, sometimes second by second…
Trust in the Lord with ALL thine heart and lean not on thy OWN understanding… In all your ways acknowlege HIM and HE will direct your paths…. Proverbs 3:5-6
Stay on your path… He is leading you each and every step as hard as it may be…
God bless you dear mamma…
Homemakerang
My heart feels for you, and I pray the Lord will reward your generosity and faith with more children. But no matter what, I believe you will embrace your children in heaven one day.
I do not have experience with this yet (married five months, and two months pregnant with number one), but I have a dear friend whose testimony is a constant inspiration to me. I was hired by her family as a full-time mother’s helper before I got married, and ended up part of the family.
This mama could not conceive for her first six years of marriage. She had one miscarriage, and then gave birth to her first daughter. After this, she had several more miscarriages, and began to think MG would be her only biological child. They then adopted their second daughter, still experiencing miscarriages. She had nine miscarriages before she sought the help of Thomas Hilgers at the Pope John Paul II Institue (home of the Creighton Model of fertility awareness and NaPro Technology). This institute believes that women are not destined to miscarry, and they help women conceive by fixing the underlying causes, and always work in a way that is pro-life and ethical. After they became involved, my friend had four children in less than five years without a miscarriage.
She did have two more miscarriages after her sixth child was born, even with the advice of the Institute. But she perservered, and just delivered her seventh baby last week. They still hope for more children to join their family, through birth or adoption.
This woman has inspired many by her willingness to accept the children God gives her, no matter the sacrifice to herself, or the heartache that it may cause. She has HORRIBLE pregnancies that keep her in bed for at least the first trimester, and the medication she must take to sustain a pregnancy makes this much worse – dizzy and disoriented and even sicker (this is why they hired me). But she continues to seek God’s will and to be obedient, and to be grateful for every child, no matter how long they stay with her. Nausea is her first sign that things are going well, so I’ve never seen someone so grateful to be sick!
I highly recommend this organization. They have clinics all over the country, and they would be the first people I would call if I had trouble conceiving or sustaining a pregnancy.
I apologize if this goes through twice. I got an error and had to retype.
I don’t blog about it because it is a difficult place to go. I haven’t had recurrent miscarriages, but I have miscarried. We were married about 5 years before we had our son, he is 9 now. I am still trusting that the Lord can bless us with children even though I am 41. But in the end I have to trust in His will on this and not mine…which isn’t easy.
This mother doesn’t follow the quiverfull philosophy but she did experience a number of miscarraiges due to a genetic problem. She was pregnant 13 times and has 3 living children, the 13th pregnancy resulting in twins. I believe they have stopped trying at this point but she waited until she had the multiple children she desired before stopping TTC. http://julia.typepad.com/
I am one of those women who have had more miscarriages than living children and can understand the emotions that go along with trying patiently to wait upon the Lord. We have been pregnant 9 times and have 3 children. Pregnancy, although each a gift from God, has not been a truely joyous experience because of the heartache that goes along with it. I would try so hard not to let myself get excited but I would eventually end up dreaming about holding our little one, planning for the due date…..and more often then not, it would end in disappointment. Twice I ended up with ectopic pregnancies which were very painful and scary. What can I offer as encouragement? Only to wait upon the Lord…..trust in His sovernty. He loves His children and wants only the best for us. Although we may not understand His reasoning, allow God to be glorified through your experience. Allow God to work in your life through these seasons of trials and take comfort in His unconditional love for you as His child. Continue trying to concieve knowing that God is in control….whatever the outcome may be. He will continue to wipe away your tears as you seek after Him, and He will continue to bless. As one who is TTC our fourth child, I take these words to heart not knowing what God has in store for me as well.
I have experienced 8 losses. Two of those little lives were twin boys. After I lost them, I lost two more after a life threatening illness. I was told I was going into early menopause after that, and would not likely have any more children. The Lord blessed us with a baby boy 10 months after that. Then I went on to lose four more(just this past year and a half), back to back, before our last little one was conceived. I have never experienced more grief in my life, yet I am convinced the Lord has used it to draw me nearer to His heart. I am blessed with 8 children (7 by birth), but was told by doctors years ago I would not likely ever have my own birth children. I am praying for you as you walk this difficult journey, and praying you find joy in wherever the Lord leads you.
We too have experienced the pain of miscarriages,and also of ectopic pregnancy.We have lost 6 babies,and have 5 live ones here with us with a no6 on the way.Through the sorrow and tears please remember you are only temporarily separated from your lil’ ones and will meet again when the Lord calls you Home.All the best to your family.
This subject is all too real for me. Your blog inspires me, Kim, many times to write.
We had 6 normal healthy pregnancies and thought that was our “quiver”. Then I got pregnant 2 1/2 yrs later. I miscarried 6 times consecutively while seeking the underlying cause from a reprod endocrinologist.
We also were advised/counseled by many well-meaning friends and family to accept what God had already given us…to stop allowing these m/c to happen. They were awful to go through. Most were btw 12-16 wks.
Then last July we had our 7th child who otherwise would have been my 7th m/c. What a blessing she is!
These past 3 yrs of sorrow were confusing and painful, but I know the Lord had a purpose in them. I so look forward to meeting the 6 children that we lost when we get to Heaven one day.
My thoughts for this writer would be to pray, pray, pray. Pray for wisdom for your husband and follow his lead. Then pray for your witness and response to others as they watch your life…believe me they will be watching. May it be for God’s glory, somehow. Suffering has no other godly purpose, otherwise.
I have had 7 miscarriages (one was twins) and one ectopic. We had 5 loses and only 3 living children at one point. Yes, it is heartbreaking. I don’t think I have ever experienced the depth of pain in any other area of life as I have with my miscarriages. God continues to put the desire and love for children in our hearts and we now have 13 living children (inc. one set of living twins). I have been pregnant 20 times, with two sets of twins in that, and am now 43 y.o.
Finding an OB who is supportive and wants to help me stay pregnant is such a blessing. Even after my last pregnancy (baby is now 2 months old), which was very high risk because of a complete placenta previa that ended up hemorrhaging and put me in the hospital for 5 weeks (until they delivered him by c-section at 36 weeks) my OB keeps saying “next time…. hopefully the placenta will attach higher up”. He is so supportive! And, he puts me on progesterone pills as soon as I get pregnant and since we started doing that I have not had a miscarriage (this has been for my last 2 pregnancies/babies).
Read the stories in the Bible of women who were barren (Sarah, Hannah, Samson’s mother, Elizabeth, etc.) and PRAYED to God for a child and how God answered them. Hannah and Samson’s mothers had devoted their unborn child to the Lord and God also blessed them with more children. Hannah had 6 more after Samuel. And, sometimes God gives us children when we are a bit older instead of when we were young, for His own reasons (look at Sarah and Elizabeth).
Persevere dear friend. God is worthy of our trust and is able to handle our pain and disappointment. No one can know what God has in store for us, what might be waiting right around the corner.
To all of you who have had miscarriages, please please please! Have your doctor test you for Celiac disease. This may sound crazy, but it is a relatively unknown allergy to gluten in wheat, rye and barley. Nearly everything we eat (processed foods) contains some sort of wheat. Short version – celiac disease affects your intestine and damages your body so that you may not be absorbing the nutrients you need to sustain a pregnancy.
Please, just google the words “celiac miscarriage” and do a little reading – 1 out of roughly 100 people are affected in some way by celiac and most are undiagnosed.
There is a simple blood test to see if you have raised levels of a certain antigen and if you show that, please make your doctor test you further! You may not show any outward symptoms of celiac (I didn’t) but after 6 months of not eating wheat I am a whole new person.
We are not a Quiverfull family though we do have five children. I wanted to offer the lady some encouragement because I am what they call a “habitual aborter”. I have a uterine deformity that I was unaware of until my first child was born, PCOS, and had progesterone issues.I’ve had more miscarriages than I do children, and after my first child I have paperwork from to MDs that say that the chances of me ever having more children are slim to none.
There is a lot to my story, however I had a deep abiding faith that I would have more children. We went on to adopt our second child after more miscarriages, and then when he was 9 months old I found out I was pregnant. With a lot of prayer, skilled medical team, and medication 0 we had our second biological child, making us a family of five. We have had two girls since then, complete miracles that they are here and in our lives in spite of a womb that is damaged.
God provides us with family, and He will lead you. Just know that there are many of us out there, with a history of miscarriage that have gone on to have more babies (though we may have had to have a little help at times to do that).
I am not in this boat, but I did want to offer some words of encouragement to anyone who is.
I miscarried with my first pregnancy, then spent 2 years working with a fertility clinic (my thyroid was off, PCOS, etc) before I got pregnant again. We wondered if we’d EVER have children, and it was very discouraging.
When I got pregnant with my son, my hormone levels were so low that my doctor thought I was miscarrying again. We were blessed, though, and he is now an active 5-year-old running through my living room!
After that, I got pregnant again very quickly! We have three children, born in 2003, 2005, and 2007.
I also have friends who couldn’t conceive for years, and were all set to go forward with an international adoption. The DAY they completed their home visit, they found out they were expecting.
Miracles happen!
Hi. I am a quiverful mom with 6 children. In 2007 we lost 3 precious babies to miscarriage. All 6 of the previous pregnancies were normal, boring (if that’s possible), and full term. We were so shocked to then have 3 consecutive miscarriages. We were so confused and heartbroken….and also searching for someone in our shoes….quiverful minded with many losses. Would we continue to trust the Lord, even if this meant loosing many more babies? Would we ever conceive again?
Well, I do have a post on my blog about our own experience (http://ourshoe.blogspot.com/2008/10/national-day-of-rememberance-for.html), but I found a wonderful woman with a blog during my search. Her name is Joy. She now has 6 children, but had 7 miscarriages between her 5th and 6th. She has such a powerful testimony. You can finder her story here: http://www.alexanderadventures.com/gpage9.html
Scroll down the page to the part called Family Size. Feel free to contact her, too.
I pray you find comfort. As for me…we never did conceive again after our last pregnancy, over a year ago. The Lord has somehow given us contentment in the fact that we will probably never conceive again. But we will always be greatful to Him for the gifts He so graciously placed in our lives. Praying for you, dear sister. I hope this helps.
We are not a quiverfull family at this time, although I feel like it! We had one daughter 5 years ago with no problems. But after not being able to have more for a couple years we felt called to go into adoption. In the past year we have added 3 sibling boys to our home.
There are thousands of children looking for homes and this is such a great way to add to your family. Consider the opportunities within your own state, please! There are NO financial costs, just a little time and love! To think that last January our daughter was an only child just makes me laugh!
In two years we have lost 3 babies. 2 early miscarriages and recently we delivered our baby girl at 20 weeks-too early for survival. We have no living children. We do however have hope. We will continue to try. God willing, we hope to someday have babies here on earth to hold and love, until the day we meet our babies in Heaven.