Tammy asked,
I have three little ones…ages 5, 3, and 18 months. None of them sleep through the night. The 5-year-old has autism and I think will probably always have trouble sleeping…I am not so worried about him.It’s the younger two girls that are making me nuts! They both wake several times during the night and I have to get up and tend to them.
Our house is very tiny and the girls share a room. Letting one of them cry it out would mean the entire house would be awake. I wouldn’t even mind that except that I don’t want to wake my husband. He has to get to work, and he is not very good with night-time wakings. We are better off if daddy gets to sleep!
I just haven’t figured out a low-noise way to get them to sleep through the night.
Any ideas?
Tammy,
This might not be what you were hoping to hear but my best advice would be to make sure hubby is on the same page and give up trying to do it without a lot of noise. 
If you are consistent, the adjustment really shouldn’t take long and will be worth the sleep you and your husband lose.
If that simply isn’t an option, I would try to sooth them without getting them out of bed or turning on any lights. Don’t necessarily *put* them back to sleep, since they need to learn to do this themselves, but help calm and reassure them so that they can fall back to sleep as quickly and naturally as possible. No drinks or snacks, no playing or socializing, no diaper changes unless absolutely necessary. With some persistence you should be able to shift your children’s sleep patterns toward a full night.
Having said that, I’ll take this opportunity to confess that my 7mo, who shocked me and the rest of the world by consistently sleeping through the night from the age of 3 days, no longer does so with any measure of consistency. You can stop hating me now. It really was too good to last, just like you were hoping.
I might also add that The Boy occasionally wakes up in my bed. How did he get there?! and how did he know to go to hubby’s side of the bed? He obviously knows that in the middle of the night, I AM THE MONSTER UNDER THE BED! Don’t wake me up unless there’s blood or a whole lot of vomit somewhere. Even then, be afraid.
And while I’m on a roll, you might as well know that 4yo Rachael just fell asleep in my bed. In our defense, Rachael dozed off waiting to say goodnight to her daddy before she went to bed. I just carried her back to her own bed, where I expect her to stay.
So take the advice for what it’s worth. All in all, our children have been spectacular sleepers in spite of the small houses we’ve always lived in. But consistency isn’t the same as perfection; even children that sleep all night consistently don’t do it perfectly.
I have found that our children sleep better (read: in their own beds, all night long) when they have had plenty of very active play during the day, and when they have gotten up early. They need to be good and tired. Sounds simple, but I tend to assume that since I am exhausted, so are they. That’s not usually the case.
Like Mother Hen, we believe in active days for quiet nights! we schedule an (enforced) outside play, an hour regardless of the weather, longer if it’s nice, every afternoon. It really does help! And counter-intuitively, my children sleep MUCH better if they have an hour of quiet time each afternoon after lunch. So the schedule is ‘lunch, clean up, read a book, lay down, play outside. Then come in and help with dinner, set table, tidy up toys before daddy gets home.
I have a daughter with autism, and it’s true, they do have a harder time sleeping. But heavy work is also the key for them. At that age, we taught her to dig holes, and carry around heavy rocks to stack up in the yard. Lots of swinging. Occupational therapy focusing on sensory input exhausts them.
All of your children are the age, where they need you outside to play anyway, so count it as therapy time and plan lots of crockpot meals or meals that go in the oven and get ignored. Your oldest will probably need to be taught how to entertain himself, and the younger are young enough that they won’t necessarily think to do it on their own, so get out and teach them some active games, big play (like let’s build a river, I still laugh when I think about the huge ditch the kids dug in the backyard when they built ‘the Nile’, of course, they were older) http://www.hsffi.com/book1.html for ideas!
I don’t know where you live but make sure the air is moist in their room. When my duaghter was about 8 months she all of a sudden wouldn’t sleep through the night anymore it was because it was winter and the house was soooo dry from the heat. Once we got a humifdifier in the hallway by all of are rooms she was back to sleeping through the night. I think she would wake up dry and thirsty.
I have to comment because my 7 month sounds the same as yours. She slept through the night from birth….until she was about 5 months old. : ) Now we have to nurse usually twice a night. : )
From Brain Foods For Kids: “Complex carbohydrates help to boost levels of serotonin, the brain-calming, mood-enhancing chemical. A meal containing whole wheat pasta, brown rice, noodles, or couscous may help children to wind down – ideal at the end of the day or if your child is very active or is a bad sleeper. ”
My youngest, (4 mos. old), has slept through the night every night (but one) since birth too. Usually my kids don’t start waking up only to nurse until 6-7 months. I thought we almost got off scot free. I am quite disappointed to hear that I might not get off so easily this time!
I had to laugh about “The Boy” knowing to go to your husband’s side of the bed. My daughter does this also, because she knows if she tries to squirm past me I’ll put her back in her room. =)
~Kate
“Which Proverbs 14:1 Woman?”
http://proverbs14-1.blogspot.com
It was nice to read a little more about your experience. My first 2 children slept wonderfully, but little miss Rosa just keeps waking up!!! I was well aware part of it was due to the fact that she sleeps in our room this time around (we are painting the girl’s room), and I wake up more easily.
Thanks for the previous posts too, I enjoy reading them to refresh my memory once in a while!
My husband and I (we have to be on the same page) decided to follow your advice with our little guy (now 7 months), and have had the easiest time! I just haven’t felt terribly tired the at any point. It has enabled me to enjoy my baby so much more. Thanks!
My little brother woke up every 2 hours and would squeal. My mum would have to get up to him and calm him down so he didn’t destroy everyone’s sleep. But she was a walking zombie.
In the end my mum prepared the household and told them to expect not to get a good night’s sleep for a week or so. She has been ordered by the clinic nurse at the mothers centre to stop getting up to him to save her sanity. The first night he woke up and squealed for 3 hours straight until he fell asleep exhausted. The second night he squealed once for about 10 minutes. The third he woke gave a yelp and went back to sleep. By the fourth night he was sleeping through.
The sleep deprivation of the whole family for a couple of nights was totally worth it. My mother was a new woman!!