Hubby has taken time off this week and Monday will be Memorial Day so he’ll be with us for 5 days in a row. To celebrate that fact, we’ve decided to [finally, after 4 years] stain the deck.
Yesterday the girls and I cleared it of chairs, tables, dump trucks, shoes, broken BBQ, legos, ponytail holders…you get the idea. We cleared the deck. Then we started the cleaning-brightening-scrubbing process.
Early this morning, hubby and I were back at the job. We’re now, finally, just now nearly done replacing bad spots and ready to clean it all over again with more and stronger solutions of helpful melt-the-fingernails-off-your-hands chemicals. And so I have the context for the link I am about to share with you.
I was looking for more instructions and stumbled across an Epinion review of the product instead. It was written by somebody named Nagel in a third person narrative style, and included complete instructions, a description of the packaging, the user’s own experience, and much more.
…He tried to focus on the text pasted on the container’s back. The letters were smallish and not easy for him to read. “Why do I bother?” he thought.
Directions to him were guides and suggestions subject to interpretation, seldom gospel to be followed literally.
Alone in the aisle at Home Depot he held the container close to his face and began to read as best he could in the subdued light. The large print highlights on the front label initially attracted him to the Behr. “No Sanding Needed. 15 Minute Quick-Fix Deck Finish Remover. Removes: Weathered Stains and Sealers, Loose Wood Fibers, Oil and Water-Based Finishes….
It wasn’t what I sat down to read, but I simply couldn’t stop. I was mesmerized. I called the children to me and they read over my shoulder. We all laughed ourselves sick. After that, I discovered the author had written 726 other reviews! We read about his experiences with chocolate cookies, and laxatives, and then it was time to stop. But I’m going back for more, and you should too. Warning: you might want to preview the first paragraph of his review of the deck cleaner above before calling all your children to read over your shoulder. The product is a stripper, if that gives you any clues.
And while we’re sharing funny reviews, I have to admit that the Headmistress’s amusement at this one motivated me to share those of Nagel.
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what did you do with your garden? that seems like it would be really heavy to move.
We’re sliding the containers back and forth right now. We plan to stain all but a few rows of boards right under the containers, then once it’s dry we’ll slide them over and do the last bit. A bit tedious, but much easier than hauling them all down the steps for the deer to eat, then back up again.
ahh… y’all are doing what I have been doing for the past week… Staining. I have been staining 4 oak doors and then a set of French doors with 15 little window panes on each side that makes to stain around 60 window panes! its been daunting, but I’m almost finished… only need to polyurethane the second time now!
have fun staining your deck.
Hi Kim! Our deck is in bad need of refinishing this summer. Might I ask what you are using to prep your deck with and if you would recommend it?
Thanks!
Jennifer
The hubby and I have been having so much fun reading his reviews out loud to each other! Thanks for the entertainment!