Posted by: Deanna
This past Wednesday, I was sitting in Costco with Mom, Dad, and The Boy eating a pizza. A big pizza. Fully 15 inches in diameter.
I was starving and I had used my considerable powers of eloquence to convince Mom to let Dad and I split the cost of a pizza. Mom had been all for waiting ’til we got home and having grilled cheese (sigh) , but Dad was starving too so he told me to go order the pizza while he and Mom checked out.
So far so good.
Apparently though, 6 pm is a pizza rush hour. I knew there was no way that whoever yelled it out was going to say Deanna right, so I gave my name as Diane. (I really hate doing that. Why can’t people just write it the way it sounds and say it right?) Then the cashier said, “20 minutes.”
For a second I considered canceling the order, but decided not to. I had ordered pizza, and by George I was going to have it!
Dad was in favor of canceling the order when he heard it, but between us, Mom and I managed to convince him otherwise. It didn’t end up taking a full 20 min and in due time we were sitting round the table. But then The Boy needed to go potty. So Dad volunteered to take him in The Man Bathroom.
Which left Mom and I sitting together with over half of a 15 inch pizza. At first we didn’t think much about the looks. then one lady rather pointedly adjusted her glasses at us. I looked at Mom. And grinned.
Mom was a little sheepish over it, but I was having a ball! It was fun to try and guess exactly what kind of look we were getting. For example, a trio of rather glamorous women were clearly thinking “You Pigs.” One teenage boy I saw had nothing but admiration in his eyes. The man sitting facing me 3 tables away was the funniest though. His eyes were the size of plates, and I saw mingled envy and disgust writ large therein.
I kept wishing I had the guts to say things like, “What?! We’re hungry OK?!!?” and I kept heaving huge sighs and reaching for another piece whenever I got a particularly shocked look. It didn’t work after Dad came back though.
I guess I’m a bigger ham than I thought, because I wasn’t the least bit embarrassed. I liked it.