We left the house for church right on time yesterday morning, but I nearly hit a tarantula.
He was right in the center of the narrow country road, and as I passed him I heard myself yell, “Whoa! That was a tarantula! Did I hit him?!” Lydia looked out the back window and assured me that he was still crossing the road (why did the tarantula cross the road?), so I hit the brakes. We need a male tarantula, you know. Kaitlyn’s pet Shelob is lonely.
There were 2 cars coming behind us, so I had to keep going until I found a driveway to turn around. As I headed back, we rummaged around the van for a plan: styrofoam cup, no lid. Hmmm. No coffee can for carsick kids…empty Burger King bag? We had a plan.
We reached the tarantula again, half-expecting to find him squished by the cars that had followed us but he was still standing in the middle of the road, deep in thought. Maybe he forgot why he wanted to cross and was reconsidering his plan.
I set the styro cup over him and gently slid a notepad under. He obligingly stepped up onto it. I felt myself cringe. He moved! Ugh! He moved! A car slowed and swerved to avoid me and the girls noted the grinning driver and his laughing passenger. I wondered briefly if they guessed what I had gathered in the cup as I held it at arms’ length on my way back to the van.
I felt the cup vibrate gently in my hand. He moved again! eeeek! I calmly climbed into the van.
The empty Burger King bag was behind my seat so I twisted around awkwardly to deposit my new pet, a little unsure how to do it. No kids were volunteering to help. I lowered the cup and notepad into the bag. First, I just slid the notepad out from under the cup, expecting him to drop the short distance to the bottom of the bag. I didn’t feel any movement, so I was suddenly struck by the possibility that he was standing on the notepad in my other hand, which I couldn’t see from my angle. Maybe he was even crawling up toward my hand. I held the cup aside and let the notepad drop into the bag. I peeked in and didn’t see him standing on the notepad. Uh oh. Maybe he had dropped in at first, and I just squished him with the notepad. Nope. Where was he?
IN THE CUP. The one that I was carelessly holding upside down off to the side. I tipped it up and looked inside. Yup. Tarantula. Eeek!
Once I actually knew where he was, it was easy to get him into the bag. We fastened the top with a hair pony and were back on the road. The whole event didn’t take more than 5 minutes.
We were 4 minutes late to church.
Oh, did you want to know the answer to the question? “Why did the tarantula cross the road?”
Female tarantulas live a very long sedentary life, hidden in burrows. Male tarantulas spend their very short adult life tirelessly searching for females. This guy was out hunting for a woman. He met Shelob last night, and they will probably get together again several times over the coming weeks. Maybe we’ll have 50-200 cute little baby tarantulas in a few months. Who wants one?
…You WANT baby tarantulas? I’d have been doing everything possible to keep the two apart!
I’m with Ruth . . . spiders are for squishin’
Oh you have GOT to be kidding. Kim, you all need prayer! I’m talking serious fasting, sackcloth and ashes kinda prayer.
That said, Christopher wants one. I so refuse.
I am sooooo with Janel on this one!!!!!!!
Rolling laughing
We live in the south central valley of CA and the tarantulas hit the streets usually in mid November, looking for the love of their life. LOL. We’ve jerked to a stop more than once to examine one. Never thought about bringing it home though. Shiver.
Nasty. I hate creep crawly things. My hats off to you girl. I wouldn’t have come within 20 feet of it.
Cool! My youngest brother and I caught one one and let him hang out on our shoulders & arms for an afternoon after finding him booking it across our yard. Here’s hoping for baby tarantula pics next year!
I’ll pass on that one! Eeeekkkkkkk!!
How do you tell the difference and what you going to name this guy?
Wow. To each, there own, I guess!
If you are considering a new home business, you might want to stick with breeding domesticated animals! =D
*cringe* its bad enough when my sister throws spiders on me (even if they are daddylonglegs) but to go get one and take in the van and save it, is too much! especially since its a TARANTULA! EEK!
*cringe*
I think my dad scared me for life when he caught a tarantula late one night that was in the house and left it in a jar on the bathroom sink… poor little me went in for some water half asleep in the middle of the night to see that and freaked!
I didn’t mention that after church, I moved the Burger King bag from the floor up onto the dash of the van and left a torn bag in its place while the girls were getting into the van.
Certain people vowed to ride home on the top of the van, and the squeals were priceless.
This is without a doubt, the most horrible post ever!!! EWWWW!! I seriously might have died. I am cringing over and over just thinking about that spider. That being said, your last comment was hilarious and I really would have liked to see the girls reaction!! LOL! You are one crazy mama, I knew I liked you;-)
LOL Arranged spider marriages! Now I’ve seen it all!
No WAY!!! I would have swerved the first time to try and run it over. I can’ t believe you. Do you remember your horror that it was loose in your house? Now, you are going to have tarantulas EVERYWHERE!!1
I am sorry, but YUCK! It is too creepy crawly for me. You are so brave!
Thanks for the belly laughs! I’m reading this while holding my 2-month-old, and he’s looking at me like I’m insane!
Very Very Cool. Yuck is Right. But Cool.
We had a tarantula crawling on the eave of our house once. i nearly freaked out. Blah!!!! I’ll pass on the spider. I have a hard enough time even when they aren’t in the house. Put one in a semi-enclosed space and I would never get any sleep.
Wow – you’re my (and my kids’) kind of COOL!
Can you ship baby tarantulas? I know my boys would LOVE to add one or two to their critter collection… keep us in mind, if you’re serious about who wants tarantulas.
Of course I won’t tell the stories growing up in South America where I was terrified by tarantulas a couple of times…
Now I’m just a hip and cool mom with kids who love all sorts of creepy crawlies – and extra “wow” factor with the children always helps! 
Yes, you can ship tarantulas. We know that because we stumbled across this incredible website last night while looking for info on tarantulas. Needless to say, Kaitlyn has some new additions to her Christmas wishlists.
There are no words…
Robin,
There a couple of ways to tell, but basically a mature female’s abdomen is huge.
A mature male has a small slim abdomen and small hooks on the next-to-last joint on his second pair of legs.
With immature tarantulas, it’s very difficult to tell the difference.
What will we call him? I don’t know. It was my suggestion that Natalie call her tarantula Harold (Hairy for short) and he’s gone now; we could recycle that name. Kaitlyn suggested Bob, which I rather like…
Wow. That is awesome and hilarious. I love the postscript about the strategically positioned torn bag. However did you keep a straight face?? Tarantulas are cool little critters. I remember visiting the zoo for a behind-the-scenes day once when I was young (probably for career day or something), and the person I shadowed gave a presentation to a visiting class. She carefully placed Rosie the resident tarantula on my hand and I got to carry her around to the students and make introductions.
I don’t remember much else from the day, but Rosie was memorable. Alas, my husband is spiderphobic. Too bad.
ARE YOU SERIOUS??? I can’t even fathom having ONE in the house and now you have TWO, soon to have more. AHHHH!!!!
Shiver me timbers…er limbs. I’m so glad my children wanted your puppies and not your spiders! eeeeek!
Hi – I will take the liberty of reprinting this in our church newsletter (Wales UK) and link to you from our website (as previously) Please emial if you do not want me to do that.
I intend to explain to everyone that their excuses for turning up late at church just do not wash – at least compared to this. ;^)
I love your site. Just love it.
Eeeeeeeeeek! The biggest spiders here are fingernail-sized and that is far too big for my taste… You are a very brave woman.
I and my three girls love spiders. We protect them and sorrowfully gringe when we see anyone squash them. I used to have a pet tarantula when I was a kid. I surely could not hold one in my hand now like I used to though. We would be interested in some baby tarantulas if you really mate them successfully.
I just happened across your blog tonight and was reading a bit and I just had to comment on this because it made me laugh (along with the story about the peeing on Daddy’s side of the bed
and cringe at the same time — I’m practically phobic about spiders so this would so not be me! But I think it’s kind of neat that you did scoop him up and bring him home 
Since the girl is named Shelob, the obvious boy name is Helob.
Just sayin’…
ha ha ha ha ha ha I can’t even fathom LIVING in a country where tarantulas roam free on the streets. The scariest thing we have is an adder, which is more or less only dangerous if you’re a newborn baby. Eeek!