When Silly Putty Attacks

Connie blogs regularly at Smockity Frocks.  She is the mom of seven rowdy children, wife of one hunky golf pro, maker of aprons, wiper of noses, writer of stories.


Have you ever had a bad experience with a child’s play thing that was so frightening, so traumatic, that it scarred you for life to the point of having Post Traumatic Toy Disorder whenever you unexpectedly encountered said toy?

No?  Well, count yourself blessed, Friends, because you may be just one unfortunate encounter away from this happening to you! [Cue creepy organ music.]

In the days of yore, when we only had two small children, my husband would load his golf clubs into our van and we would pack up our suitcases and travel around with him to one golf tournament after another for weeks at a time.

I was in the habit of packing little bags of toys and trinkets to keep the kids occupied in the van on the long stretches between tournament towns.  I included small trinkets like a mini Etch-a-Sketch, crayons, tiny note pads, little books, Sillly Putty, and small stuffed animals.

One particular tournament that will forever be seared into my memory was in the Atlanta area.  It turned out that one of the children was upset that the Silly Putty was missing from the activity bag.

“Don’t worry,” I comforted her as I gave a quick glance around the van, “It will turn up.”   [This would be called "foreshadowing" in an actual literary work.]

Oh yeah, it turned up all right.

We had found a little country church just outside of Atlanta where we could attend worship services that sunny Sunday morning. During one of the “stand and sing” portions of the service, I noticed that some teenagers sitting in the pew directly behind me were giggling hysterically, which I found odd since I didn’t see anything funny about “This Is My Father’s World”.

At one point, I looked back to see what was so funny and I saw their eyes dart up from a southerly direction.

Self consciously, I rubbed the back of my dress, and to my horror, I felt the missing flesh colored Silly Putty clinging stubbornly to the back of my navy dress like a barnacle on a tug boat.

I inconspicuously contorted myself like a Chinese acrobat to wrest that rubbery blob from my back side, all the while trying to act like I wasn’t about to die of embarrassment thinking of all the people who had just seen me with a glob of gummy goop on my hind end.

I quickly dislodged the offending wad and tried to act as if nothing had ever happened.  I continued singing, all the while wondering how many people had noticed it and WHY one of them didn’t stop me to say, “Ma’am, you have a glob of goop on your… uh… dress.”

Of course, the kids were thrilled to have their Silly Putty back, but I was already making secret, sinister plans to dispose of it and forever banish it and all its kin from my presence.

To this day, whenever I pass Silly Putty in the toy aisle, a cold shiver goes down my… uh… dress and I must hurry away from that horrid reminder of the time Silly Putty attacked.

Connie
www.smockityfrocks.com
Aprons and abc’s, baking and bandaids,
laundry and long division…
All to the glory of God

Comments

  1. We had a funny silly putty experience, though not humiliating. (Sorry about yours… :/ )

    My son was about three at the time, and one morning was crying for me to help him. i called from the other room what he needed and he said he couldn’t get out of bed. Being the youngest of three boys with in four years, he had the lucky mattress-on-the-floor-under-the-other-bed place to sleep, and I couldn’t imagine why he needed help! Well, he “slept” with the silly putty (i did not know this) and it had completely adhered his pajamas to the sheet! He really was a stuck little man! We had to take him out of the clothes, and then throw everything away.

    That stuff was seriously mis-marketed! It has NASA strength!

  2. kimberly in idaho says:

    My husband is horrified by silly string. On our second date, me being funny and all, I pulled out a can of silly string and got him good. Suddenly, he was crying out in pain “I can’t see, it hurts so bad!” I totally thought he was kidding and was dying of laughter, but it turned out he was serious. He had blurry vision all evening and said the stinging lasted for a couple days. I still can’t help laughing every time I think about it. Needless to say, my husband doesn’t allow silly string in our home for fear that the children will be blinded!

  3. That is so hilarious! And embarrassing! :) ROTFL

  4. Well, I suppose if your youngest of children is draining your brain cells and creativity at least you have friends who can write great posts for you!
    :)

  5. Your story brings back memories. Almost 50 years ago (!) I left my Silly Putty where I shouldn’t have and my grandmother sat on it in her new slacks. I guess I will forever feel guilty about that preschool error of mine!

  6. I don’t have a silly putty story to share, or for that matter, any childhood toy trauma. However, this story made me think about an incident just the other day where I was standing in line and the lady in front of me had a rip in her pants. It was right in the middle of her bottom area and I was a bit embarrassed to have noticed it, lol. For a fleeting second I thought about not telling her, because you know, why was I looking at her tush? But then I thought, “What if she goes into another store with her undies showing like that?” So I told her and felt much better for it. She was able to take off her jacket and tie it around her waist to cover herself up. She didn’t thank me or even give me a smile, but I’ll just chalk that up to her being totally embarrassed, lol.

    So, all that to say, if you had passed by me with Silly Putty on your bum, I would have told ya’! :-)

  7. Well, at least you don’t have to show your face there again, right?

  8. Sweet, Connie. :) Absolutely mortifying, too. :)

    Silly Putty is absolutely banned at my house. :) As is gum.

  9. You know… I realized recently my boys have never had any Silly Putty. I see now that may not necessarily be a bad thing!

  10. We had a bad experience with silly putty and my son’s sleeping bag. I ran it through the washer and dryer not knowing about the silly putty and the sleeping bag was never the same again. That was about 6 years ago. I haven’t bought it since.

  11. I loved silly putty as a child! One time I was given glow in the dark silly putty and thought it was the coolest thing. I slept on the top bunk bed in a room with a ceiling fan and one night was thinking about how cool it would be to see the fan blades go around in the dark. Being innovative as I was, I took my silly putty and attached a piece to each fan blade. To my (and my sister’s horror), the silly putty begin flinging itself off in small pieces all over our room! My sister had dozens of stuffed animals and we found silly putty on them for weeks!

    But it still was one of my best toys growing up. I played with it on trips all the time!

  12. That is funny!!!

  13. Heather Wawatoosie says:

    For as much fun as Silly Putty brings, it also brings as much horror. BAD things can happen.

  14. LOL OMG this is to funny I’m on the floor and my sides are killing me. I’m going to have to look in to my past now and see if there is something.
    Holly Days

Don't just think it: say it!

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