My sister-in-law Catherine called me last week asking for advice for a friend of hers who seemed in danger of miscarrying for the second time in 8 months. I gave what advice I could, which wasn’t much, and asked her to let me know what happened.
Her friend miscarried, and was heartbroken. After losing her previous baby earlier this year at the same point – 8 weeks gestation – she desperately wanted to carry this child to term.
Catherine asked me if I had any idea what might cause multiple miscarriages at the same point, and we talked about possibilities. Her friend had asked her doctor, who assured her that miscarriages were common and it was nothing unusual to have 2 in a row. He told her that any further answers were beyond the scope of his knowledge and she should talk to a hormone specialist.
Then Catherine said it: her friend had been on a birth control pill until just before the first pregnancy and miscarriage.
Didn’t her doctor know this? Doesn’t he know the side effects of the drugs he provides to his patients? Besides skyrocketing rates of ectopic pregnancies, birth control pills and implants are known to cause abortions and birth defects. They are known to cause miscarriages in pregnancies that occur during or after use – sometimes up to a year or two later. This information is available on the package insert of nearly any pill you can buy but doctors plead ignorance, or worse yet they deny it outright!
That poor young woman lost her baby. She lost two babies. You can make the case that she should have learned more about the risks of the drug she chose, but I hold her doctor even more responsible. I also hold those around her responsible. Someone among her friends should have known and warned her.
Those of us who know these things need to spread the word. I need to.
Our friends and family may not agree with us on whether to use birth control, but they need to know that certain methods do far more than simply prevent pregnancy. If our friends and family believe that life begins at conception, then they need to know that nearly all of the most popular, most effective methods have a Plan B: murder any unborn child that gets past Plan A. It’s right there in the fine print that they’ll find in the package.
The quotes below are from Drugs.com. You will find the same info on nearly any birth control you search except for a simple condom. All birth control pills work this way. IUDs work this way. Implants that gradually release hormones into the bloodstream work this way.
What is Yaz? Yaz prevents ovulation (the release of an egg from an ovary) and also cause changes in your cervical and uterine lining, making it harder for sperm to reach the uterus and harder for a fertilized egg to attach to the uterus…
What is Depo-Provera? Depo-Provera is a form of progesterone, a female hormone that prevents ovulation (the release of an egg from an ovary). Depo-Provera also causes changes in your cervical mucus and uterine lining, making it harder for sperm to reach the uterus and harder for a fertilized egg to attach to the uterus…
What is Mirena? Mirena is a plastic device containing the female hormone levonorgestrel. This hormone causes changes in your cervical mucus and uterine lining, making it harder for sperm to reach the uterus and harder for a fertilized egg to attach to the uterus...
What is Norplant System (levonorgestrel intrauterine system)? Levonorgestrel is a female hormone. This hormone can cause changes in your cervical mucus and uterine lining, making it harder for sperm to reach the uterus and harder for a fertilized egg to attach to the uterus…
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I’m very sorry for the lady who is going through this.
I do not at all disagree with you. But I wonder if you have any suggestions for a young woman in my place.
After medical treatment for Crohn’s Disease, I fell victim to a few different complications. One of which was a hormone disruption. My body quit making the appropriate hormones for my reproductive cycles. One of the results of this is destruction of the ovaries. To help protect my ovaries, I was put on a birth control pill. I do not need birth control, as I am not married, but my body needs the replacement hormones in order to keep it from self destructing my ovaries and any chance I have at being a mother.
Is it right to put put my future babies at risk by taking this pill in order to save my chances of becoming a mother at all? Or should I come off the pill and allow my body to take away my chance at motherhood?
You are right. We all need to speak up for things like this. I agree with everything you wrote.
Jayme — I think as long as you know the risks, and make a fully informed choice, that is a good thing. Personally, without any hormone issues, I never chose to go on birth control. It sounded too, uh, body-altering to me. I have taken other medications that do all sorts of things to your body, but I take them knowing the pros and the cons and making what seems like the best choice at the time.
The thing is, you never really know what will happen. Everyone is different, and everyone will have their own personal reaction to drugs. So you make the best choice you can.
So your friend didn’t even think that she should leave more space between stopping birth control and trying to get pg? I thought most people tried to leave some space between stopping the pill and actively trying… Maybe they don’t…
Good job dear.
Thirty five years ago last month, I miscarried my first pregnancy. By the calendar, I was four months pregnant. But the baby that I lost was about the size of a kidney bean.
I had carried a dead baby for more than a month. My miscarriage was horribly painful; I bled and was in intense pain for hours. It was much worse than the labor I experienced with my second pregnancy.
I was emotionally devastated and horribly depressed. I imagined I would never be able to have children. Then I did some reading and I became angry instead.
It was 1974. The pill was the newest thing. As a new bride, my family advised me to avoid getting pregnant (you know, the “until you get settled” argument). So I started on the pill a month before my wedding. That was what the doctor told me to do.
I stayed on the pill only three months. They gave me headaches that lasted for days. I stopped taking the pill and thought perhaps it would be nice to have a baby.
No one told me that the pill greatly increased the chance of miscarriage in pregnancies occuring soon after using it. No one told me that the headaches I had experienced could have killed me, either. Blood clots run in my family.
I never took the pill again. I gave birth to three beautiful daughters, and lost one other pregnancy for unknown reasons (it was my fourth pregnancy).
Women need to know what they are doing to their bodies when they take hormones for birth control. Hormones are very strong medicine and should only be used when required to treat illness — to safeguard life — not to prevent life.
Thank you Kim.
Ruth
I didn’t know any of this! I was on birth control for the first few months of our marriage (17 years ago) and it took us 5 years to get pregnant! My neice is on birth control now because she didn’t like the cramps and nausea each month that came with menstruation. I know she doesn’t know any of this! Thank you so much. I truly had no idea.
Silvermind – you’re right, most doctors will tell you that you can try to get pregnant after stopping birth control, but most will recommend waiting a year until your body gets back into its natural rhythms.
Similar to you Jayme, I suffer from extremely painful and debilitating endometriosis – the only treatment for it is birth control or a complete hysterectomy. Birth control is far less evasive and a safer option, especially for someone who would eventually like to have babies one day (endometriosis, left unchecked, could also leave a woman infertile). There are pros and cons to everything out there, but birth control, used correctly, is safe and effective. Women who get “unplanned” pregnancies while using birth control and suffer from complications because of it will often admit that they skipped or forgot to take a pill. Like everything, you have to use it responsibly.
Theresa,
You said, “Birth control, used correctly, is safe and effective. Women who get ‘unplanned’ pregnancies while using birth control and suffer from complications because of it will often admit that they skipped or forgot to take a pill.”
Every hormonal form of birth control has 2 posted failure rates, one for normal use and a second for perfect use. These rates can easily be found. These rates do *not* represent the number of fertilized eggs that fail to implant (i.e. early abortions) but the number of fertilized eggs that *do* manage to implant. These are the children that get past both Plan A and Plan B. Nobody really knows how many get past Plan A and die in Plan B, but it seems safe to assume that it’s higher than the failure rate for any given method.
If you are only concerned about the health of the woman, birth control can be relatively safe and effective, though it does carry increased risks of many serious conditions. If you are concerned about the health of a woman’s unborn children, birth control is anything but safe.
Amen! Women need to talk more to other women. We need to make sure that our friends and family are fully informed.
Good for you for talking about what is sometimes an uncomfortable and painful subject. Jayme, I don’t know because I haven’t done any research on this sort of thing, but there have got to be some natural minded doctors out there who could direct you to a more natural hormone replacement. Maybe try searching for a naturopathic doctor?
We have experienced this firsthand, and wholeheartedly agree with you! Thanks for posting!
Not to mention the increased risk of breast cancer, which it seems like most women would like to minimize.
I agree with you — the doctors absolutely need to do a better job of explaining how hormonal birth control works.
I’ve seen several OB/GYNs and have been prescribed a variety of BC, and not one explained how they work.
Maybe it’s a political thing — they don’t want to acknowledge that hormonal BC can kill a would-be child. Maybe they don’t care.
Once I found out how hormonal birth control actually works (from blogs like yours! so keep telling people!), I had a serious discussion with my husband.
We both decided to stop using birth control of any kind, and haven’t looked back.
I learned this in biology in college–a Christian college. Before that, I hadn’t known either. Since then I’ve had a few friends who’ve miscarried soon after going off the pill, but at that point, I felt like bringing this up would just load them down with guilt, especially since they were all pro-life Christians, just misinformed. What do you say then? I chose to say nothing. Rather, I try to tell my friends before they get married.
That is so sad. The line that gets me in the warnings is… Makes it harder for a fetlized egg attach to the uterus.
I love that you wrote about this. The thing that saddens me the most is the fact that women are willing to put some man made chemicle in their bodies so as to not get pregnant. First of all if your not maried you should not be laying down with a man. Second if you are marrie what does it matter if you get pregnant that is what god intended to happen. We as a people are niave to think that our doctors know what is best for us. I think the only one who knows what’s best for us is the Great Physician Jesus Christ. I thank you fo rbeing so blod about this topic.
Susan
Hormonal birth control does not cause abortions. It will prevent an egg from fertilizing. This is not the same as an abortion.
cee,
Read the info. It works both ways: prevents eggs from being fertilized, and prevents fertilized eggs from implanting. The abortion is Plan B. It’s right in the paperwork.
Before I got married, I went in for a before-the-marriage GYN exam. I had been having endometriosis-like pain for a few years before, and the doctor wanted to “help”. I told him already that I was not there to be put on birth control, though it didn’t stop him from trying to give it to me to “help with the pain of menstration”. Instead, he put me on premarin. I asked him at least twice if this was a birth control, or would act like one, and he insisted that it was not, it would only help with my pain. Well, 3 mo. later I felt horrible, stopped taking the hormones, and it wasn’t for another 4 mo. that I got pregnant. It wasn’t too long after that that I wised up and researched premarin and read that it would, in fact, act as a birth control, though an unreliable one. HE HAD OUTRIGHT LIED TO ME!
Also, I had a doctor suggest to me that I wait a full 12 mo. before getting pregnant again due to health problems in my last (4th) pregnancy. For what felt like 30 minutes, he explained the IUD to me. After I objected to hormonal birth control, he spent the majority of that time assuring me that hormones do not cause abortions. He did admit, however, that spontaneous misscarriages did sometimes occur, but that no conclusive connection could be drawn between the form of birth control and the spontaneous abortion. Those babies would have probably died anyway, he told me. I felt lied to AGAIN and angry.
Doctors are so pushy about hormonal birth control, and I’ve gotten angry all over again about my experiences just typing this out. They need to stop lying to women. They are all about a women’s right to CHOOSE. How ’bout let us choose if we want to possibly cause a misscarriage, cancer, or at the least, infertility, aye?
BTW: I got pregnant with baby number 5 almost exactly 12 mo later with no form of birth control, except God’s sovereign hand. And, so far, the issues I had last pregnancy are not posing a problem.
Thank you for posting this, Kim. I was on the BC pill for the first 3 years of my marriage. I knew deep down inside that it was wrong. Finally, in June 2005 my husband and I prayerfully threw away the package and trusted God with my womb. I was pregnant within 3 months. Praise The Lord I had no problems and I have a wonderful, healthy, smart 3.5 year old boy, Caleb. We are learning even more about God and his timing because we assumed we would have more children by now. I guess God has said “not now.” It is so hard to trust God when He is withholding something you yearn so much for and pray for daily. But, we do trust HIM. We have peace because we know WE are doing nothing to prevent a new life. It is all up to HIM.
I was a volunteer at our local pregnancy resource center and story like those were happening a lot. Women that took birth control for short and long term have had to suffer the side effect of them and loosing their babies.
Some of the pills will not prevent fertilization but implantation (that is what we call a mini abortion and most women on the pill have no idea that it is happening they just think that they have a heavier flow that month)
Other birth control (like Depo) have not been tested for a long time and we do not know the long term side effect, but we know that if taken by girl before they are 20 it will prevent them to absorbed the adequate amount of calcium that they need and a study show that they will likely have 80-90 % chance to have osteoporosis later in life!
If we do really need to control the number of children for some reason their is non invasive method that are not killing any of God little blessing.
but I know that only God could open and close the womb and he is in total control. I believe that when you surrender your womb to God He will take care of you and give you peace with your family size either big or small as it could be.
Thanks for sharing this post with us!
I agree. There are so many things wrong with birth control. Even the name itself says it. If it only prevents conception, why isn’t it called conception control? No, it sometimes allows conception, but prevents the birth. Sad.
I’ll pray for the lady that lost her baby. I know how she feels.
Thank you for posting this.
I have two friends that were both trying for their third babies after being on birth control (one was an IUD and the other I’m guessing was the pill).
They both conceived and miscarried this year.
I don’t know why the general public doesn’t start putting two and two together on this.
After I had my youngest, it was recommended that I go on the Mirena by my OB. I had it placed while my husband was deployed. I ended up having it removed before he even came home. I had read up on the IUDs and felt very uncomfortable knowing that I could be causing mini abortions. My OB was quick to dismiss my concerns and made me feel like I had to demand they remove it. I’m will not ever go with that OB ever again.
I also wanted to add that I was told there would be no side effects from the hormones in the Mirena because it was localized. It was far from the truth, my hair began falling out. I attribute this to the Mirena, but the doctor claimed was normal for post-pregnancy. I know better because this wasn’t my first pregnancy! This was among other symptoms that only were present while the Mirena was present (horrible cramping, constant dull pain in my abdomen, and I felt like my body wasn’t able to recover from my pregnancy).
I was sad to find, when searching for women with similar symptoms online, that women that were able to be with their husbands with the Mirena in place, were having pregnancy symptoms. Many would have symptoms and then they would stop and have their period. Many were convinced to the point of taking pregnancy tests and ordering blood work. Many times their concerns were dismissed by their OBs. I made my removal appointment the same day I read this information. I didn’t feel comfortable having this in place when my husband came home.
Thank you for spreading the word. Hopefully we can continue to spread the word to young women and really shed new light on this.
Kim,
I strongly agree with your position on the birth control pill. I even spoke with a friend who is an oncologist and has 11 children on exactly how it works. However, things change when your health suddenly is at risk. I am extremely fertile and recently I had a partial molar pregnancy. The course of treatment was to have a d&c to remove our dead baby, have weekly hcg tests to monitor my hcg levels to make sure the mole does not come back cancerous and then monthly for an entire year, and to not get pregnant for an entire year. I was devestated!!! My husband HATES wearing a “glove” and I am very fertile, so our only option after talking extensively with our doctor whom I fully trust as he deals regularly with these issues was to use a Nuva Ring. At the beginning, I was horrified at the thought of even using birth control and then I had to come to grip with the fact that I was using it not because I was against having more babies, but because my health and future babies were at risk if I did not follow all of the doctors advice. I say all of this because not everyone who uses birth control are doing it out of selfishness or not wanting more babies, but some, like me, make have health issues temporarily. My husband leads our family and he is most comfortable with this decision for now (especially since I am having my hcg levels checked weekly and will know immediately if I do get pregnant or if the “mole” (cancerous growth that presents itself in the form of the hcg pregnancy hormone- more on my blog about that) comes back. I hate it but sometimes life’s decisions are difficult. I can either live in fear of a possible miscarriage or just trust that God knows what is best for our lives today.
Thanks for posting this. I try to tell people when I have the opportunity. I’m also trying to be an NFP advocate.
I’ve been reading your site for a while…but have never commented so Howdy
I too believe that birth control is murder. I have NEVER used it. In fact, I rarely take OTC medicine and almost NEVER take prescription meds either. I don’t like messing with the natural chemistry of my body.
Anyway, I too have lost two babies this year. The first we lost at about 10 wks last February, and the second some time between my 13 wk and 17 wk checkup in September. After my baby and I received a “textbook” bill of health at the 13 wk checkup we went in for our next regular checkup to find that the baby had died.
This doesn’t only happen to women who take BC.
In fact, we still don’t know why this has happened. I had my doctor do both a genetic work-up on the baby as well as take a myriad of blood tests from me and still…no explaination for why we, who would love to have a houseful of children, cannot seem to have more than one while others I know have a houseful of children they don’t even want or take care of.
Oh yes, I forgot to mention that…we have one, beautiful, healthy, bright 3 year old girl. My pregnancy and delivery with her were practically textbook.
On the news recently there was a story of a woman who had a blood clot that nearly killed her from taking birth control pills. The news piece was to serve as a consumer warning to other women. I also just found out one of the mot sought after ob-gyn’s here in the Austin are does not subscribe bc pills. Although he is a Christian, he will tell his clients it’s because they are dangerous for women. The more I find out about the pill, the more I wonder how much women truly know how harmful they are to themselves as well as any children they might conceive.
I wanted to mention another possible reason for repeat miscarriages. I have lost 3 of my last 4 babies to miscarriage, all between 7-1/2 and 9 weeks. The one baby (of the last 4) that I did not lose, I came very very close to miscarrying also around the same gestational age. An ultrasound confirmed a large hemorrhage, but my son’s life was spared and is now a healthy 1-1/2 year old. And I have never ever been on the pill. After my last miscarriage, I was referred to a doctor who specializes in recurrent pregnancy loss. By the time the appointment came, I was pregnant again, so most of the testing they wanted to do, was not possible anymore. However, they did give me 2 medications: progesterone and low-dose aspirin, which is standard procedure for all their patients with recurrent miscarriages. I am now over 16 weeks, and so far baby is doing very well.
Renee, Geraldine, and Laura,
I too have had miscarriages even though I’ve never used hormonal birth control. I didn’t mean to suggest that it’s the only cause of miscarriages. My point was that simply being on the pill put my sil’s friend at a greatly increased risk and should have been the first reason that her doctor suggested rather than throwing his hands in the air and feigning ignorance.
I am currently at 32 weeks with my third pregnancy. My second was a miscarriage. I’ve never touched any hormone therapy. Any miscarriage is hard to go through, I just simply don’t understand why women would want to “produce” a miscarriage with any hormone pill or method. A miscarriage in and of itself is so devastating.
Sadly, I have a MIL who is not a sincere Christian and she has promoted me and husband to be advocates of birth control. I refuse to acknowledge or take that sour feminist advice……especially considering that she works as a nurse full-time. Please pray for her salvation from these feminist tactics.
My sister-in-law had out of control blood pressure at age 27 and was on the pill. Her primary care doctor couldn’t figure it out. Then she went to a knowledgable GYN who literally DEMANDED that she get off the pill. She said it was causing the high blood pressure and she was extremely upset with her primary care doctor for not recognizing this. She has only been off the pill for 10 days and she is already at a healthy blood pressure.
Sheesh! Why don’t more women know about these dangers?
Perry,
I totally understand that you weren’t implying that, forgive me if I sounded combative. I guess maybe I was thinking you might know why it happens when we’re not using BC
I’d do anything to find out why it happens…I’m so scared to get pregnant again, but desperately want more babies. Somehow I feel like I can handle it if I can ‘fix’ whatever is wrong…the only thing is, we don’t even know if ANYthing is wrong.
I believe that we should speak up about the things we believe and know. I have a friend who is married and was taking the newest BC pill to manage menstrual cramps and mood swings. She told me that some months she barely has a period and then some months she has a very heavy period. As soon as she finished telling me this I explained to her that those heavy periods could have been a miscarriage. I told her that one of the ways the pill works is preventing a fertilized egg from implanting on the uterus. the pill is not 100% effective, so if you do ovulate and that egg is fertilized it will come down to implant in the uterus. Because the lining of the uterus is very thin because of the pill, the egg can’t implant and dies and then everything comes out as a “period” but it could be a miscarriage, or abortion. It’s all there in the package but people don’t read the inserts in the drugs and when you ask the doctors they dismiss the reading as having nothing to worry about.
Some people will still choose to deny the truth and go on with believing the lie.
I would like to encourage those Christian ladies out there that don’t want to use BC but “have to” because of other health problems to seek out natural ways to prevent pregnancies. My husband does not wear a “glove” and we have spaced our babies every 2 to 2.5 years. You can use spermicide, or natural planning where you calculate your fertile time in the month, there is also safe ways to love one another without having intercourse or practicing sodomy for those times of the month that you are fertile. Of course, those things are not 100% either.
I am currently pregnant with my 4th baby which was a complete surprise.
My youngest is 2 years old… so those methods do fail too.
Breastfeeding on demand is also good and safe birth control tool …but that really means feeding your baby every 3-5 hours, NO pacifiers, or bottles of any kind, and no solid foods or liquids until baby is 8months to a year. That means that the only thing that goes in baby’s mouth is your nipple or his fingers/ hands. Also baby needs to be fed during the night, at least once. We co-sleep so that is easy to do.
I would like to suggest the website http://www.welltellme.com. There is lots of good information there about herbs and natural remedies.
For the lady that was talking about having to take BC because of a cancer situation, from what I understand don’t hormones actually cause cancer ????? I don’t know…
I do know though the Jesus knows everything and He knows you better than yourself and your doctor. So I would ask Him and believe what the Word of God says – “by His stripes we are healed”. He died on the cross not only for our sins but to set us free from any bondage, being it physical, emotional, financial, sickness. Search the Gospels, Jesus has never sent anyone away that was sick and wanted to be healed without healing them. He is the same yesterday, today and forever. If He healed then, He can heal now. I believe our believing is the hindrance. Read the Gospels, speak it out, memorize the verses that talk about healing, speak to your body. Dare to believe. Faith comes by hearing and hearing the Word of Christ.
Jesus said “you see me, you see the Father. I do what I see the Father doing.” that means that our Heavenly Father does not want us sick and suffering.
Here is another website that might help http://www.josephprince.org
My experience has been EVERY TIME I have turned to Jesus and relied and trusted completely on Him ONLY He has never let me down. It’s a walk of faith. A walk of learning to trust on His love for you, not ours for Him. It’s all about Him.
I have had financial breakthroughs, medical breakthroughs and now I am trusting Him for parenting breakthroughs.
I do have 3 children under 6y.o. LOL
Anyway, I just wanted to encourage you to run to Him for He knows your suffering and He has the answer for ALL our troubles.
This is my $0.02.
I too have a friend who has just come off the pill and suffered two miscarriages in the last several months. It is very sad. Like you said, they may not hold the same views of children as we do but they need to be fully informed!!!
I ache for this friend and her hubby and am saddened even more to see that the cause MAY be because of the form of BC they used.
I too have had two miscarriages in the past year, and am now pregnant again, hoping that this one will lead to baby #2. It is incredibly frustrating to have anyone assume that they know a likely cause for my miscarriages without knowing the details of my case, including my doctors, who have dismissed both with “well, it’s probably genetic problems, better luck next time”. This despite the fact that I’ve been screened and eliminated as a possible carrier for all kinds of things. Based on my health history and symptoms prior to both miscarriages, it seems far more likely that my babies were lost due to an immunological issue. Thank the Lord, this pregnancy seems to be going normally so far compared to the two that I lost.
My question to you is, why do you believe that life begins at fertilization? The Bible is crystal-clear that God names us in the womb (Isaiah 44:2,24, Isaiah 49:1,5) – not in/on the way down the fallopian tube (or test tube, for that matter). Implantation in the womb, not fertilization, is the Biblical basis for the beginning of our lives.
I wrote about this issue once on my own blog a few years ago (http://samarajane.blogspot.com/2006/01/whats-up-with-life-at-fertilization.html), but didn’t really have anything resolved in terms of a Scriptural basis for the life-at-fertilization. Thoughts?
I can testify to the ill effects of Depo-provera. I used it for less than 2 years early in our marriage and stopped 9 years ago. I’m still suffering the consequences.
We decided to get off of any form of birth control because I read that the pill is meant to stop conception but if conception occurs the pill will force you to start a cycle anyway, i.e. have an abortion.
Psalm 139, to me, always comes to mind when I think of Biblical references to when life begins. It talks about how God “knits” us and how we are “woven” by Him. The “knitting” and “weaving” begins at conception, although He knew us even before then.
To those who are on the pill for hormonal reasons,
it can be dangerous to take the pill just to have it produce the hormones that your body cannot by itself. I have Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome and most doctors would say that I need to go on the pill in order to make my cycles more regular but I decided that I would help my body through changing my life style before I result in that choice. Most of my research has come from this website http://www.naturallyknockedup.com/ so please look into the eating and other healthy living aspect of it before you think the pill is the only option
Blessings,
Bethany
Hi Kim,
I am a long time reader of your blog and understand your beliefs as well as many of your readers’ beliefs on birth control. It is your blog, your freedom to post what you want, and we as readers have the freedom to go or come as we please if we agree or not with what you say.
I have a sister that joined an Old Apostolic Lutheran Church where even NFP is not allowed. Many of her fellow church goers are very young, have many young children and often follow a path to depression… This aside, I do take offense when it is determined that Birth Control is “murder”. I follow Natural Parenting, meaning we rarely use conventional medicine, we eat organic local foods, no dyes, parabins, phalates in or cleaners, laundry etc…. SO, when I experienced sever postpartum depression after my second child was born I had a hard time deciding to use a form of birth control and get medication, even if I just went with natural supplements. No, this was not an “excuse” rather, I had to protect my living children,and future children from myself. At the time I was violent, angry, and my children were in danger.
Acting as a wise mother (not a murderer) I acted out of love and to protect my living children and be more aware of my their needs. Child spacing is a wonderful thing, especially if tandem nursng, cosleeping, and of course, when dealing with mental health issues.
Thank you for your time and energy,
Melissa
NFP- it’s a wonderful thing, it really is. = ) No hormonol methods- just charting your cycle. Lucky for me, I have a very regular cycle- which makes it very effective. And the month we decide it’s time- wa-la! The next baby is on the way! I am pregnant with #5 in 9 years- but I have spaced them all about 2- 2 and a half years apart doing this.
It makes me mad, too. And also sad for deceived women.
And I just wanted to respond to Cassandra’s comment. I don’t have a very regular cycle – but I do know when I’m fertile. I would not be a happy woman to have to avoid my husband.
Also … as far as spacing goes … it’s so delightful that (wa-la) I wouldn’t have at least one of my children. I would probably have had #1 – my husband wanted to have him. Then I miscarried. I now have a bubbly, adventurous blue-eyed boy that was conceived 2 weeks after my miscarriage …. what awful timing, huh?
Well, my second son was born at 35w – and was 4lbs, 4oz. He certainly *needs* extra care, right? So what business did I have getting a positive pregnancy test when he was 6mo and still in 0-3mo clothing?
My daughter is a delight. I look at all three of my children and it would have made “perfect” sense to prevent all or any of them … certainly would have made my life easier and less stressful!
Anyway, there are pros and cons to spacing. The cons for me are that my life would be easier …. oh, how much easier! … but every day I see the faces of who I would be missing. I am SO THANKFUL I didn’t lean on my own understanding!!!! God has given me what I didn’t think I wanted, when I didn’t think I wanted it, and it has made my life such an incredible adventure.
Just a thought. Personally, don’t feel that “spacing” is all it’s cracked up to be. I’d always wonder who I was missing … when the ones I have are so great.
Theresa, you’re wrong. There are excellent endometrial removal surgeries that have enabled several of my lovely friends to get pregnant. BC is not the answer, a hystorectomy doesn’t have to be, either.
Jayme, you might look for FertilityCare clinics for non-BC help with your endo. I hope you will be blessed!
Human life begins at conception. For those that don’t understand this belief:
At conception, there is a brand new, genetically unique individual begun. It is not a single cell that is part of another body. It is the first stage of a brand new, individual human body.
From conception onwards, there is every biological distinction of life.
It may be in it’s earliest stages, but from conception onward there is human life.
Aside from location, there is no difference between the embryo one second before implantation, and one second after. It was living and developing, and genetically human, and genetically distinct from it’s parents the moment prior to implantation, just as it is the moment after. All the contraceptives Kim listed have the designed intent to prevent that living, developing human from implanting in the uterine wall, thus aborting that life and that pregnancy.
To Geraldine and others,
My midwife’s proticol has been to have anyone with a threatening miscarriage to stay in bed “flat on your back” until spotting has stopped for three days.
Her new information from a Mennonite midwifery clinic is to help with some sort of blood clotting factor in the blood in women of older child-bearing age. While I do not concider myself in the “older” category yet, (I’m under 30) I have had spotting and took these and could immedately feel a difference in my system after they got into my blood…I could feel when it got there as I just felt stronger. The doses are 3000 mg Vita C, 800 mg Vita E, and 800 mcg folic acid. (I believe they probably included Progesterone cream, at least my midwife recommends it.) I hope this helps some one out there!
I do not see any reason to trust regular allopathic doctors completely with my health. I prefer to be informed and make my own decisions about my body, concidering all the options.
Here’s a parable by Dr. Mercola: http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=1245547612053&ref=nf
When my husband and I got married I was on the pill (sigh) Until he read the insert that comes with them and that was the end of that.
Then I got diagnosed with endometriosis and after fighting with my OB for several months for a treatment other than hormonal BC, I couldn’t take the abdominal pain any longer and went back on the pill.
I was so angry that so many doctors would just say “we don’t know what causes endo, it just happens” and “the only other treatment is surgery”
I did lots of research and found my diet was contributing significantly to my health.
Do yourself a favor and google “Pottengers Cats”
or go to westonaprice.org
I went off the pill and healed my endo with a traditional diet, PMS and post partum issues disappeared as well.
A lot of “hormone issues” can be resolved by eating the way our great grandmothers did.
Great post, Kim
Carey in MO
http://www.careycontrary.wordpress.com
Samara,
You are right that the Bible only refers to the baby in the womb…but do you really think that humans had an understanding of ovaries and fallopian tubes at the time it was written? Would it have made any sense to them if God had inspired the writers to say “I have known you since you were in your mother’s fallopian tube…”
Even if they *did* have a concept of fallopian tubes…the Bible still says that the baby is in the womb. The baby is in the womb prior to implantation. Why do you choose to arbitrarily set the point at which the baby becomes protected under Biblical grounds at implantation?
Theresa said: “I suffer from extremely painful and debilitating endometriosis – the only treatment for it is birth control or a complete hysterectomy.”
I just wanted to offer my experience. I had extremely painful stage 4 endometriosis. It was diagnosed after I was unable to get pregnant after my second child. I also had a cyst the size of a baseball on each ovary. I had surgery Dec. ’02 to remove the cysts and the endo. Dr. wanted me to take Lupron (wicked stuff) to put me into an artificial menopause in order to “burn out” the residual endo. I didn’t like the sound of that and asked if I were to get pregnant, wouldn’t that have the same effect (suppressing estrogen and burning out the rest of the endo) as taking the drug? Dr. agreed that it would have the same result.
I decided to forego the Lupron and wait on the Lord. Three months later I was pregnant. I delivered a son in Dec ’03… a year after surgery. I nursed him a LONG time with the idea that it would help with keeping the endometriosis from recurring. So far, I am endo free. I’ve also had 3 more pregnancies since my son was born in ’03. A daughter in ’05, a miscarriage in ’07 and a son in ’08.
I just wanted to put it out there that my endo was resolved without birth control and without a hysterectomy.
Just a note on recurrent miscarriage…. a frequent cause of undiagnosed recurrent miscarriage is gluten intolerance. It isn’t a widely recognized cause partially because celiac disease is also vastly under-diagnosed. But I’ve been there. Now, nine months after going gluten free, I am 20 weeks pregnant.
For any ladies reading and nodding at the mysterious losses, check into gluten….
Anna
I was going to recommend FertilityCare, too. It is natural family planning that has you chart your cycle by looking at fertility symptoms. It is a more scientific form of Billings Ovulation Method in that the symptoms are recorded in a standardized notation. By doing this, your FertilityCare doctor can track your hormones and do various tests (hormone levels, plus others) at a time in your cycle that is meaningful for finding results, rather than just random testing. They also employ NaPro technology (Na-tural Pro-creative) for treating hormonal issues.
It’s worth looking into.
In Him
Meredith
Many people who say “life begins at conception” are effectively referring to IMPLANTATION. (Even reading through comments here, it seems Samara would possibly agree with this.) While I know you would disagree with this, it is something to keep in mind when thinking about the attitudes of those who believe life begins at conception. To talk about prevention of implantation as abortion or miscarriage is to forget their views.
Well, not to mention what these synthetic hormones, whether it be birth control or estrogen, are doing to our water! I firmly believe that is why we have so much cancer nowadays, because most water plants can’t rid the water of chemicals (only bacteria, etc.)! Have you ever thought about where these chemicals go that are in the urine of women on birth control or synthetic estrogen? You guessed it – Right back in our drinking water! I don’t mean to be gross, but we seriously need to think about this stuff and try to do something about it!
Heather,
Great point! I’ve actually heard the national news mention the measurable amounts of BC hormones they are finding in the water supply!
Carey in MO
Just want to leave a comment and let you know that I posted a link to this article on my blog on a post entitled “A Few Good Reads”.
http://www.livingwaterke.com/2009/12/few-good-reads.html
I was on the pill for 9 years before stopping for three months to get pregnant. I got pregnant immediately a;nd had a healthy daughter with no complications. And then three other children with no complications! And I went back on the pill. My issue with this topic is the “generalization” that ALL women who take birth control pills will have these issues. I have no problem with your convictions and beliefs. My issue comes with the fact that you assume they should be everyone’s beliefs. Someone actually said that a “sincere christian” does not believe in birth control!! Seriously??
That being said one thing I have never understood about NFP. Is that not just another form of “control”?? If we truly believe that God is in control of the womb, why is NFP acceptable? It’s still, in a different way, “preventing” a pregnancy, is it not?
Jen,
You are perfectly right that NFP is a form of control. That is why the Catholic Church in Her great wisdom teaches that NFP is only to be used for grave reasons, i.e. the life of the mother would be threatened with anoher pregnancy, or the famly is living in a box on the street and simply cannot feed another child. The idea is that God has given us our reason, and the ability to exercise prudence in our lives, always within the moral bounds He has set for us. NFP falls within those bounds becaue it is merely making use of the natural infertility of a woman’s body at certain times, for serious reasons. Birth control does not fall within moral bounds, because it is a deliberate contravention of the naturally intended results of the act of procreation, one of the ends to which marriage was ordained in the first place. In other words, using birth control perverts the marriage act, exalting a selfish kind of pleasure over trust in God and the total giving of oneself required in marriage. In addition, this attempt to avoid the natural purpose of procreation can result in the murder of a child. So, yes–a “sincere Christian” should not practice birth control, since a sincere Christian surrenders his life completely to Christ–not everything in his life except his fertitlity.
tereza crump: I agree with much of what you said, except for the part about Christ’s death putting an end to any form of bondage or suffering on earth. I would like to know how you support that assertion. It seems to me that Our Lord made some very clear references to His followers suffering after His Ascension: for instance, Luke 22:16 (in the RSV): “You will be delivered up even by parents and brothers and kinsmen and friends, and some of you they will put to death: you will be hated by all for my name’s sake.” That sounds like suffering to me. There is no indication that Our Lord intended to take away all earthly suffering–rather, He died and rose again, that we might be able to unite our suffering with His, and so come to His Kingdom.
KimC: I agree in large part with you, except about the greater part of responsibility falling on the dctor’s shoulders for the lack of information. The responsibility to research our own healthcare decisions as far as possible and to know what we put in our bodies falls on our own shoulders primarily. It is trusting doctors, hospitals, and drug companies too much that has brought about many of the medical absurdities we see today, such as 98% of births taking place in hospitals, the rise in C-section rates, and the amount of unnecessary drugs prescribed annually.
I’ve never been on birth control pills and it has been a year of ‘trying’ with no luck. The abstanance training I grew up with had me thinking that sex=babies and its been an adjustment learning otherwise. I’ve been through so many emotions as I hope, then wait, then get frustrated that everyone else seems to be having kids but me. I have wanted to ‘fix it’ and I’ve tried the ‘don’t think about it and it’ll happen. I’ve always been irregular and my hormones are likely out of balance. I’m not diagnosed as polycystic yet but that will probably ring true. Bethany-thanks I’ll look into that site. I try to do the right things for my body but there is always room for improvement. I’d rather avoid any ‘treatments’ but I want a family. It took my mom 4 yrs to have her first, that seems like an eternity to grow the family. How long do I go before I take it as a sign that perhaps we were meant to adopt?
Lizzykristine-I’m sharing that comment with a few gluten intollerant friends, very interesting.
I’m glad Margaret threw in a scientific perspective and I agree with Heather on the water cycle. What are humans doing to our world systems?!?!?! We really don’t know the greater effects of our actions.
Carey,
I agree so much with you about diet/ Pottinger info!!!!! (Pottinger’s cats…no ___food factors= no more cat’s=infertility)
I was *amazed* by an article I read several years ago on the westonaprice.org website about a zoo’s problem with some sort of rare ape they were trying to breed. They were giving it a vegetarian diet like they supposed it got out in the wild… no babies.
They finally thought maybe our food production was too “sanitary” and added small amounts of animal products (ie. insects). They got babies.
The research done by Dr. Weston A. Price was fueled by a desire to find peoples with healthy teeth/ no cavities. What he found in the isolated peoples that had halthy teeth all over the world was 11 different factors of diet that contributed to complete health and development of the whole body….including resisance to diseases (tuberculosis being one of them at that time), ease of childbearing, broad/well developed bone structure, and strait teeth with sometimes a little as one cavity for every three mouths (no toothbrushes..he had to remove green slime to find there was no decay underneath).
And factor number 11…is that they told their children what foods were important (practically sacred) for pre-pregnant parents, pregnant and nursing women, and children, as well as how to properly integrate the other 10 food factors!
Guess what? In *every* culture, no matter the food source, it was always an animal source high in fat soluable vitamins such as Vita. A and D. For the Swiss it was fresh raw butter in the spring that was an almost orange color. For the Scottish of the Hebredies I believe it was a certain fish dish. (Yes, in the ape’s case, insects fit the bill.)
Here’s a link to 10 min. of a video that discusses Price’s work by Sally Fallon. (Her book Nourishing Traditions is an absolute treasure trove and wealth of information that expands on Dr. Weston A. Price’s book Nutritional Degeneration.)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mNu7XeJxV2w
Catherine,
I agree with you as well. After reading “The Way Home” by Mary Pride, I couldn’t in good concsience use any form of BC. My cycle has always been too irregular for NFP, not that I could feel like I could take that part of my life out of God’s hands. The only thing I do is make sure I breastfeed with no food introduction as long as I can. I noticed that even after introducing food while I still nurse, that if at least once a day the baby does that practically asleep rapid kind of subconscious sucking where you know shes not getting anything (and the dishes are wieghing on your mind and you think you might be able to sneak away…) that I had a longer space between children the last two times if I stay there. I’m sure God thinks bonding with our babies is more important than the dishes!
Jen,
The big thing for me, not just because of my faith in Christ, but also because I believe life begins at the moment of conception…is that BC doesn’t prevent an egg and sperm from meeting and conceiving, it prevents the post-conception egg from attaching to the uterus and growing. Instead, BC aborts the baby from your body.
Some here may not agree with me, but I don’t think there is anything wrong with using a condom or charting your cycle to prevent pregnancy. There are a myriad of reasons why one would not want to have a baby at any given time, some selfish, some practical, some medical, some emotional…I just don’t believe that BC is the right way to do it.
Hope this explains it a little better…
Jen,
Other ladies have already addressed your point, but I’ll reiterate: this post is not about whether you believe it’s ok to use birth control, but about the effects and after-effects of certain types of birth control.
We don’t use NFP; we agree with you that it is simply a natural form of birth control. I linked above to my older post about our position on birth control.
But this post is not about whether or not a couple should use birth control.
This post is about the fact that many popular types of birth control don’t reliably prevent fertilization but use a secondary mechanism as backup: they abort a newly conceived child instead by preventing implantation.
Many who use birth control but would never consider an abortion would be horrified to know this. I hope to help spread the word.
I feel very strongly it is our duty to take care of our bodies as they are the temple of the Holy Spirit.
We personally need to inform ourselves of the effects of anything we put in our body, whether Pharmakia drugs (including BC), foods (especially ones with preservatives or chemical brain toxins like msg and aspertame), or un-foods (like white flour/sugar, hydrogenated oils, etc).
There is so much our there that the big companies make money off and it is not always in doctors best interest (monetarily) to keep himself informed of side effects. Like I said, it is our responsability.
OT: I watched this yesterday. Can we start a new thread and call it “Vaccines and flu shots make me mad?”:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ktcoJW6mj1U&feature=related
(Thankfully, we have been able to avoid any of this in our family. I was raised being informed about vaccines…this just makes it so clear how unfair to the public they are being.)
Yahoo news had an article on the bad effects of Depo Provera. If anyone is considering using it or (God forbid) putting their young daughters on it (which i have heard of happening too many times to discount, even among Christians), you would do well to read up on it. Abortifacient effects aside, it is ‘easy’, ‘convenient’, and very, very bad for women.
What I want to know is, why are feminists not outraged over the risks, side-effects, and complications of these drugs. Women were used as guinea pigs in the early days of these things, and women are still the only ones suffering the side-effects. Is freedom from childbearing to be promoted at *any* cost, even at a cost to women themselves?
Someone mentioned the drugs in the water…my sister’s boyfriend is majoring in something having to do with environmental biology. He’s out slogging through swamps etc every weekend. But interestingly he’s seen the direct effects of bc hormones on the environment up close and personal. It is affecting the fish and frog populations in a very noticeable way.
I don’t comment often but this post struck a chord. I was on the Pill for 5 years at the start of my marriage. It was prescribed by a female, Christian doctor, so it never occurred to me that it might have abortifacient effects. Once I learned of the possibility that I might be aborting my children (!!!), I never went back to hormonal bc again. I was shocked when I recalled that the Christian dr. never once brought up the possibility. There are other effective measures for spacing pregnancies, and women do not have to resort to hormonal bc for that reason! Re: the question above why I believe life begins at conception, rather than implantation…well, obviously, it is at conception that you have an entirely new individual come into being, genetically speaking. Implantation is the start of the placental formation, not the formation of the individual. Any medical textbook you read will inform you further.
My 24 year old daughter died because of birth control pill this past April. BIRTH CONTROL PILLS KILL.
I am a little late in reading this post, but I want to thank you. This post has encouraged me to try again. My dearest, closest friends are all, without exception, on some form of birth control pill. Most of them have been told by their CHRISTIAN DOCTORS that there is no way that the specific pill they are on would ever cause an abortion. I checked that drug (tri-sprintec) on drugs.com and it reads exactly the same as the ones you specified.
I have talked with all of them before about the phrase you mentioned “harder for a fertilized egg to attach to the uterus” but they choose their doctors over me. It’s convenient that way.
I love them and do not want to lose their friendship, so I stopped bugging them about it. But one is wanting to now get pregnant. It IS my responsibility to talk to her again. And my other friends.
I was hoping our lives could be a witness, but I don’t think it’s working. I am taking life-saving medication that causes birth defects. My specialist wants me on an IUD; we refuse. We are using NFP. I thought that would speak volumes–we have “reason” to be on hormonal birth control, but we aren’t. But my friends just give me that “okay so you’re crazy” look.
Thank you for the push, and for posting. God is still using your post even more than a year later!
Hi Kim
I am very late in reading this post but I have only just found your blog. Whilst I do not agree with everything you say I do respect your views and if you and your family are happy that is the main thing.
However on this post I do feel a bit het up about it. The way I read it it sounds like you are saying being on contraceptive (whatever form you use, I myself used the implant for a few years for personal reasons between me and my husband) makes it sound that is the cause of the miscarriage because of it making ” harder for a fertilized egg to attach to the uterus”. This is perfectly true whilst you are on the contraception, as you so rightly put it is in case Plan A doesnt work, however dependant on what research you read the BC pill does not increase the risk of miscarriage and some research even suggests that that using hormonal birth control for a long time could preserve the eggs and decrease the risk of miscarriage due to chromosomal abnormalities for moms over 30. Another study found that long-term use of oral contraception led to mums getting pregnant more quickly after deciding to conceive, and the researchers cited additional past research that suggested pregnancies after recent pill usage were less likely to end in miscarriage. Some research disagrees which will always happen in research as that is what science is all about! I had a miscarriage when I was younger (before I had ever used birth control) that I knew about and a 3 others that were not official but I know they were. I have also since I came of the implant had at least 3 or 4 miscarriages in the last 5 years (2 of them was when I went to the hospital and found out my baby had not made it past 8 weeks in my uterus) and 1 or 2 of them have been when I have tested positive on a home preg test and then about a week later started bleeding. I have been for a tests and there is nothing wrong with my “bits” and there is nothing wrong with my husbands “bits” either, it is just one of these unexplained things. If God wishes to decide that I cannot have children because I used BC then that is his choice but I certainly do not believe that I am being punished because I used BC and even if I am then I still wouldnt change what I did. I do hope that when your sister’s friend was having her miscarriage when she would have been feeling awful that you did not tell her that there was a good chance it had been because she had taken the birth control pill as that would just make her feel even worse. Perhaps her doctor believed as you do (although I would hope not) that it was because of her BC pill but didnt want to upset her any further as really what exactly is she going to now? Turn back the clock and never take it in the first place?
Anyway I am sorry for the essay and apologies if anything I have said has offended you as I do enjoy reading your blog (only found it about 3 days ago) and whilst I would not want a family of 10 children I do respect your decision to have 10 and you all seem very happy.
Thanks for reading
Aileen (from Scotland)
Thank God he spared me from the pain these ladies have experienced. I never took the pill for 2 reasons thanks to my wonderful friends who told me about the risks. They didn’t say anything about the risks of miscarriage/abortion. What they did tell me was 2 things (one of which I have confirmed by a research article that was done in a university in CA, which has since been removed probably due to pressure from the pill manufacturer!!)
1. AUTISM – My dear friend’s sister got pregnant while on the pill and took it for at least another month before finding out she was pregnant. Her son is autistic. Since I heard of this there have been many other women I’ve heard of who had the same exact problem. I read a research paper once that proved this very risk is real indeed, but somehow never gets published for long.
2. INFERTILITY – Occasionally women take the pill and are never fertile again. A different friend’s sister had been taking it for a while at the start of her marriage (I talked to this woman personally) she very much wanted a child but after 1 year off the pill she was unable to get pregnant. After about 2 years off the pill God was gracious and finally blessed her with a daughter. She no longer uses it.
A while later a close friend of mine told me she had been forced (FORCED!) to take a shot of depo as a teenager so she “wouldn’t be a teen mom”. She had horrible irregular periods for YEARS and severe pain. Her hormones became so bad she grew a beard! She had at least 2 miscarriages in a row before she was mercifully able to carry to term but she could not start labor naturally, and she can trace it all back to that shot.
These are just anecdotal but since I knew the people personally, it was enough to convince me. Neither their sisters nor I ever went on the pill because of this. Well it really makes a lot of sense. If your system isn’t lacking in a hormone, it can only throw it out of balance to add more of it! It can not correct a well-functioning system.
I am reading this rather late also, but sure have gained tons of great information from all of you ladies. I am on the fence regarding hormonal BC and its supposed effects on conception and abortion. Any answers or guidance you can give me is greatly appreciated. I have been on and off BC since I was a teenager. I seem to be very fertile because my husband and I have conceived even when I am on very effective BC. I am 25 and already have 4 children. NFP does not seem to work for me as I am very fertile and my cycles aren’t regular. While having more children is not completely out of the question in the future, as of now I do not feel ready (spiritually or physically) to have more children. My 4 are all under age 6 and I feel like I would crumble under any more pressure or work, but of course I would never want to kill my baby. I am very torn about this and don’t know what to do. Of course when I spoke to my doctor about my BC, he said it did not cause abortion of any kind, which just makes me terribly angry at him, either for his ignorance in being a doctor or his untruthfulness, whichever it is. Add to all of this the stares in the grocery store, snide comments, and flat-out mean-spirited attitudes from my mother and grandmother and strangers about “all those children you have to take care of”, and I feel like I’m damned if I do, damned if I don’t.