Comments on: To see, or not to see? That is the question.

By: Ultrasound | Life In a Shoe

Ultrasound | Life In a Shoe — Thu, 21 Jan 2010 16:08:15 +0000

[...] had several emails asking if I got an ultrasound. No, I didn't. Actually, I didn't have the option yet. My initial visit with the new midwife [...]

By: Julie Johnston

Julie Johnston — Sun, 17 Jan 2010 14:33:36 +0000

I was die hard about not finding out with our first 2. But, after we traumatically lost our third baby, and I came VERY close to dying in the process, we did go ahead and find out about our 4th baby. I wanted to pray for my baby by name, and, knowing the risk I was now facing going into labor, I wanted to write letters and prayers for my little one in case I did not make it. Samuel and I did make it (though not without a MAJOR hemmorage) and I don’t regret finding out. Either way, you are gonna LOVE that birth! Enjoy!!

By: Katrina

Katrina — Sat, 16 Jan 2010 07:39:08 +0000

My husband likes to know the gender, and I like to be surprised. So we take turns. The last baby was his turn so we knew ahead of time that the baby was a girl. The baby before that was a surprise — a boy. I remember I told my midwife and my husband NOT to say what the baby is when he or she is born…that I wanted to see for myself. Since I deliver at home and in a pool of water, the “image” is a bit distorted when the baby is born, being under the water, so luckily no one could cheat by looking before I got the chance. I reached down and felt the baby, felt his little boy parts and said, “A boy!”
That was a lot of fun. Although we deliver at home and have a midwife attending the entire pregnancy (no doctors or hospitals) I still go to a clinic to have one ultrasound at the 20 week mark to check the baby, making sure (or as sure as we can get) that the baby doesn’t have any health issues that would need to be addressed at the birth.

My opinion is that it’s a *little bit more exciting when you do not know the gender and find out at the birth. I stil prefer that:) Hey, and that reminds me….the next time it’s MY turn again! Yay! The kids will be so mad. (they always give me a hard time about waiting ….. they are all so impatient!)

By: Jennifer

Jennifer — Mon, 11 Jan 2010 11:30:53 +0000

Well as a childless person (who will be studying for midwifery in a couple of years) I am not sure how much my opinion is worth to any of you other commenters, lol!

But I vote don’t find out. For all of history no one ever knew until the birth. That is part of the excitement of birth! Now we “have the technology, so why not use it?” but we also have the “technology” to do plenty of things that we shouldn’t be doing, so that argument seems weird to me. Just like Kim uses a midwife, because that is the natural way, the way God intended, and the way women did until less than 100 years ago. Why should ultrasounds/sonograms be any different?

But then I am one of those pesky and annoying people who has absolutely no desire to know what is in the package before Christmas. I take much more joy in wrapping gifts for my family and friends. There’s almost a let down in actually opening the gift, because then you KNOW whats in there! Maybe I’m TOO unbothered!

By: Catherine Hochschild

Catherine Hochschild — Sun, 10 Jan 2010 15:44:13 +0000

Don’t bother with an ultrasound. As Amanda pointed out above, if God had thought it necessary for us to know beforehand, He would have given us see-through stomachs. I think your reasons for not finding out are exactly right. On top of that, since there are legitimate concerns about the effect of ultrasounds on babies in utero, why risk it at all?

By: Cassandra

Cassandra — Sat, 09 Jan 2010 18:54:39 +0000

I wouldn’t worry about the disappointment. thing. I am going on 23 weeks along with this one, and we have two boys and two girls. Part of me was wishing for one sex over the other. But, when it came down to it, and we did a ‘peek’ with the ultrasound to see if we could see the sex, and we did, and it wasn’t what I was wishing for- no matter! I was just happy to see little arms and legs flailing about, and a good, strong heartbeat. Not a smidgen of disappointment. Just the wonder of seeing a perfectly developed baby at only 20 weeks! It never gets old. This makes 3 out of 5 that we have found out with. Hubby put his foot down with two, (our first and fourth) and didn’t really want to find out, but I got my way with this one. = ) I love knowing. I love having a name picked out, and I love referring to ‘it’ as a he or she, not an ‘it.’ Even though, with this one, we aren’t telling anyone else the gender, (someone has to be surprised!) and it’s hard not to give it away by slipping with an accidental ‘he’ or ‘she’! I say go for it. That’s my opinion. =)

By: Beth

Beth — Sat, 09 Jan 2010 17:19:10 +0000

I have found out with all four of my kids. I’m one of those people who just has to know, mostly for planning purposes. With that said, since I now have both boy and girl baby clothes available, if I got pregnant again (highly unlikely), I don’t think I would find out. I think it would be fun to be surprised at least once.

By: Sarah S

Sarah S — Sat, 09 Jan 2010 08:51:02 +0000

I have refused to find out the gender with either of my two, despite having had at least 3 ultrasounds with each one (not my choice). I felt the same as you – as if i would be cheating, opening a present before it was time. My husband agreed about keeping it a secret with the first, though he very much wanted to find out with the second. If we ever had a third, I still wouldn’t WANT to find out, but would agree to it, for him. We already have a boy and a girl, and I would feel no disapointment no matter what a third was.

I DO refuse the 12wk scan to check for down syndrome markers though. The 20wk “has it got everything it’s supposed to?” scan is good enough for me, and I loved seeing #1 waving at us, and #2 sucking her thumb.

By: Renee

Renee — Sat, 09 Jan 2010 06:43:46 +0000

Wow! I have never seen so many people who do not want to know! Everybody I know finds out, and we know the baby’s name, refer to him/her by name, buy presents for him/her, etc. It is very exciting to anticipate the arrival of Cole, Hudson, Emily, or whoever. I have only been blessed with one child, and I found out he was a boy. Calling him by name for 4 months made it very personal and felt like we knew him before hand. I too see his profile now as being the same as it was on the ultrasound.

PS. I do not like to peek or have any clue about presents, and I did not mind at all knowing the gender of my son. I would do the same.

Do what works for you.

By: My Boaz's Ruth

My Boaz's Ruth — Sat, 09 Jan 2010 04:32:07 +0000

My son was diagnosed as a boy, very clearly, at 19 weeks. I always thought they waited as long as they did to make sure the parts were big enough to discern, not because they had to descend. Poking around on the Internet I’m finding indications that the gender can be discerned as early as 16 weeks with an experienced technician and the proper mother — and nothing about this descent. (though testse do need to descend, this doesn’t always happen before birth even it appears)