Searching for answers?

If you’re a blogger, you probably like to check your stats regularly.  If you’re really nosy, you might also keep an eye on what sort of search terms bring newcomers to your blog.

But I’m a helpful person, and rather than mock the searchers, I’d like to take a few minutes to answer their questions.

I think this one takes priority:

i am dying from hemlock

Oh my.  Did you smoke it? If you did and you happen to be a rat, you have a 50/50 chance of survival.  If you’re human, your chances might be better – both Deanna and my brother survived, so that’s 100%.  But you might want to check with a doctor anyway.

While we’re on the topic of dangerous plants which resemble lovely wildflowers (hemlock looks very much like Queen Anne’s Lace) let me also warn you against Snow-On-The-Mountain and Jimsonweed.  Hey, Tim M?  The girls are really sorry, and they’re very glad you didn’t die or hallucinate too badly.

chicken pox party blogs

Can’t help you there, but I might be interested if you find one in my area.  I have 3 children who haven’t been exposed yet.

stupid tax dave ramsey

Oh! Oh!  Guess where hubby and I are going this Saturday?  Dave Ramsey’s Total Money Makeover, here in San Antonio.  And aside from our 7 year stupid tax, I feel like we paid the stupid tax 2 more times just getting our tickets to this event.

First, we paid an extra $25 each to skip the lines and sit closer to Big Dave.  I told hubby that if Dave points at our section and uses us as an example of how not to spend your money, I hold him fully responsible.

Second, not 24 hours after we paid full price for our tickets, we received an email from DaveRamsey.com encouraging us to invite all our friends and family to buy tickets at 75% off. Grrrr.  I feel smarter already, and I haven’t even seen Dave yet.

tell me something very funny.

Once I caught a bat in a bath towel while totally naked.  It was pretty funny after the fact.  Actually, it was even funny at the time.

quotes about shoes and life

“Don’t judge a man until you’ve walked a mile in his shoes, because then you’ll be a mile away and you’ll have his shoes.”

picture of small boy in cowboy hat

Like this?

He also tried to ride the horse minus the single article of clothing between his boots and hat.  That didn’t last long, but it sounded like this: “ow…ow…ow…”

homemade sausage seasoning

mmm…

“i have the biggest feet”

Nope, I win.  I’m not telling what size.  Just trust me on this.

how to fit 3 girls in 1 small bedroom

Just 3?  Can you hear the laughter from my 8 girls, who all share a 12×11 room?  They had 2 rooms but decided to move together so the other room could become the family library.

how to tie stonehenge with nursing

Let me know if you figure this one out, because I’ve always wondered about that too.

tanya lost a shoe

Well, I don’t know Tanya but if she’s missing a shoe it’s probably somewhere in my house.  That’s where all the lost shoes are.  But there’s no point in her coming to look for it until she throws away the remaining shoe.  That’s when they always turn up.

flood of 99

Don’t remind me. So. Much. Poop.

There.  See?  You’ve got questions, we’ve got answers.

Comments

  1. I echo the read-aloud part. I had to share this one with DH.

  2. Kim, you are hands’ down the best read-aloud blog EV-AH! The kids and I had a great time with this post!

    (BTW…maybe we’ll get to see you soon?)

  3. I just wanted to delurk to say that you are great. I really enjoy your blog. It has thought me so many things about love and family while making me smile a lot. I share your love of math and disagree with almost all of your political and social views.
    Please keep on writing.

  4. Thanks for the laugh Kim!! This was great!!

    People search the weirdest things. My husband has a blog he titled “Rhymes with Clown” because our last name is Shown and no one ever pronounces it right. Anyway, the funniest search he ever got that landed on his sight was “drunken clown rhymes”!

  5. Oh. my. goodness. I am ROLLING!!! Thankfully I had finished my decaf coffee :)!!! Tooo funny!

  6. How big ARE your feet?? I wear an 11. Come on, tell.

  7. this is genius! Love it! =))

  8. I love your blog, for many reasons. Great ideas on how to save money. We only have two kids, but most of your hints can be used by smaller families, too. But your humor – it’s priceless!

  9. Those are hilarious…your answers to the searches, I mean!

Don't just think it: say it!

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