Career choices

Posted by Megan

So, today I was thinking about all the stuff I’d like to do. I’d like to be a writer. I’d like to be an editor. It would pretty cool to be hairdresser.It would be flat out awesome to be a chef. Then I realized, being a SAHM  means that you can do all of that, and much more!

My mom blogs: she is a writer.

My mom edits whatever we blog: she is an editor.

My mom cuts, trims, tapers and layers all of our hair: she’s a hairdresser.

My mom cooked for all of us, for years before we started helping: she’s a chef.

It seems like some career woman think we have no choices.  I’m sorry, but that makes me want to laugh. It’s just plain silly, SAHMs (or SAHMs to be) have far less limited choices than career women. That’s my thought, anyway.

Comments

  1. I LOVE this post! A friend of mine sent me an email along the same lines a while back, and I love this viewpoint. Our jobs are so varied!

  2. Genna Joy says:

    I completely agree Megan!

    People without careers as such have wonderful opportunities to contribute in so many ways.

    IMO, the reason much of the world has warped ideas of what a stay-at-home mother is, is because there are far too many sit-at-home-ers who spend their days watching daytime tv and eating junk while their house is a mess. (I do know some mothers like this….)

    you and your family seem to be a wonderful example of busy, productive women. I know some mothers like you all too!

    It seems significant to me that while the proverbs 31 women is usually at home and tending to her family , she still finds to make money and be frugal- she is not a financial drain, but a blessing to her man :)

    That’s what I’m aiming for

  3. Malachi 3:6 “For I am the Lord, I change not…”

  4. Hi Kim,

    I’m glad that your daughter can write well, indeed everyone who posts on your blog are good writers (that’s why I keep reading it). I was merely pointing out that there are some editorial errors (eg connecting words missing) in the post. Your daughter’s premise is that SAHM’s fulfill multiple career roles and she says she lives with an editor (you) so I thought the editor could have picked up her game. There aren’t stylistic or quality errors, and it does read as though it is written by herself (“flat out awesome!” – awesome expression), again which is good.

    @ Ann – God doesn’t change, he says that of himself in his word in Hebrews (chapter 13v8), that he is the same yesterday, today and forever. Society and our world does change however and so our understanding of culturally specific parts of the word needs to be careful. It says in Galatians we have freedom in Christ which pertains to certain expressions of our lives (in Galatians it was about eating bacon, now it would be a whole range of things like career choices, what happens in church, drinking alcohol with moderation, using non-abortive birth control, even food choices) but not to salvation or God’s character etc.

    @ Lauren Zimmerman – the Proverbs 31 woman is a difficult standard to meet! She is amazing. I would be hesitant to apply it too broadly to our lives today as if that is what we must attain. I don’t think that’s what the author of Proverbs intends. God’s standard for us is one of mercy, thanks to Jesus. It’s also interesting to note that the Proverbs 31 woman is busy inside and outside the home, never to the detriment of her husband reputation or children’s opinion of her (v23 and 28) or of honouring God (v30) which must be the goal of an woman (or man).

    God’s word to us is crystal clear about what it needs to be, otherwise it is open to freedom (back to Galatians), and it is up to us to work out, with prayer, humility, meditation and seeking advice, what that must be in our own individual lives. There are far too many variables for matters of freedom to be applied in a blanket way to individual situations.

  5. I think its great Meagan knows that at this point in her life she wants to be a SAHM. Certainly she has a role model in that department and I can imagine she will be quite a wonderful mother/wife.

    If, however, for some reason she should change her mind over the years I think that would be great too.
    No one can predict what the future holds for everyone. Time and circumstances can change what one thinks, feels, believes.

    There is much in the Bible, “rules, traditions” that have changed over the hundreds of years and I would think the role of a woman can be one of those things that can be looked at differently. Not every woman can be a “helpmeet”, SAHM or wife. Does not make that woman any less valuable.

    Who truly knows what God thinks? I like to think God too can change.

  6. I don’t think Jenny is suggesting there is anything wrong with being a SAHM, she’s only suggesting that perhaps the last part of this post may sound smug rather then confident.

    I wouldn’t presume to tell Megan that she should aspire to work outside the home or that her choices are less if she doesn’t choose a career, however I think it’s fair to consider if this post may sound smug or disparaging towards women who do work outside the home.

    We don’t need to compete, or feel threatened over each others choices. I think it’s wonderful that Megan knows at an early age what she wishes to do, and no doubt with age and experience she will realize being smug doesn’t look good on anyone.

    As far as the biblical role of women, different religious traditions hold different interpretations here. My faith tradition encourages both men and women to use and enjoy the talents we are blessed with, for some women these talents are in medicine, or science and working outside our homes is consistent with our godly role as mothers and with our role as a wife.

    I know my husband feels blessed to spend a large part of his time with our small children and enjoying the little ones while watching them learn and grow. He is pleased that my work allows him freedom to be a hands on parent with our children. My work also allows him the freedom to pursue freelance work and art that he would not be able to if he were teaching full time.

    I agree with Jenny that this post can sound a bit more smug then it was intended.

  7. Jenny – Biblically, a woman’s job is to care for her children, her home, and her husband. A woman is to be, literally, a “keeper at home.” It is not her place to go off and work somewhere outside the home, leaving others to care for or educate her own children. This is, I believe, clearly a neglect of her Biblical duty.

    Working from home can be done, I think, in an appropriate way, as long as her primary duties as a wife, helpmeet, and homemaker are not neglected, and as long as she is in submission to her husband in doing so. The Proverbs 31 woman sold material to merchants and was engaged in commerce in an appropriate way.

    Honestly, if everyone made the choices that Megan has made, our families, churches, and culture as a whole would be much stronger. Being a stay-at-home mom is not a magic bullet or a cure-all for the ills of society. There are plenty of stay-at-home moms who are outside of their husbands’ authority, who tear their families apart, and who still send their children off to be educated by pagan strangers. Clearly, many of these women are doing little to build their families and strengthen society. But a woman whose focus is serving her husband, raising her children, and keeping her home will see the blessings from fulfilling her Biblical duty!

    (Sorry for jumping in here Kim. Feel free not to publish it if you’d rather me not!)

  8. I wish I encountered more girls this age who think about things deeply and express themselves so clearly (and with such good punctuation, spelling and grammar!) Hats off to both the author and her editor.

  9. In general I am a big fan of this blog, but this post prods me to say (and hopefully this won’t be deleted or taken as critical) that there is a fine line between celebrating your choices and being smug about them. Being a stay at home mom is not the right choice for every mom; having an out of the home carreer is not better or worse than not having one, and if everyone made the same choices you do the world would be worse off. As an example, a brilliant neurologist saved my son’s life, and that neurologist was a mom with 2 little ones at home. We had seen several other doctors and she was the only one that got it right. While simple service occupations like ‘hairdresser’ can be likened to a mom taking care of kids, neurologist certainly can’t. And yes, you can take joy and pride in cooking for your family, but it isn’t the same as having a vocation of chef, someone who has devoted years of time, study, money to honing their skills and reaching the height of his or her industry. which is fine for BOTH of you, the person who is satisfied with cooking at home and ALSO the person who is inspired to have a 4 star restaurant, even if that person is a woman or has a family too. My point is that being confident in your own choices sometimes comes off as putting down those of others. And there is a lot of room for difference in this big world! Hope this hasn’t offended you.

  10. High fives to Megan!!!!!!!

  11. Great Post! Thanks for encouraging us SAHMs

  12. Such a wonderful post from a young person. Shows what a great job in the Lord Moma is doing in bring you up. Never let the “world” make you feel ashamed for standing up for what you know is right in your heart.

  13. Kim,
    The editor of this blog mainly brings spelling and punctuation errors to the writer’s attention. The goal is not perfection or to make a child’s post read as though it were written by an adult. Rather, we aim for appealing and age-appropriate writing.
    I think Megan did very well on this post with just one or two tips from me.
    As you probably know, not even professional writers use perfect punctuation and grammar all of the time. The C.S. Lewis quote in the very next post contains some imperfections.

  14. This was great! I always smile when people ask me “what I do”…I tell them I’m a sahm and they give me that pitying look. I just laugh :)
    I used to be a “career woman”, working for a mega communications company. I missed so much of my first two daughters lives. I came home when they were 4 & 5.

    I have the best job in the world…and it’s my true dream job. I thank the Lord every day!

    Here’s what I put for my occupation on Facebook:

    “Lawyer, Doctor, Psychologist, Policewoman, Chef, Maid, Nutritionist, Teacher, Shepherdess, Mediator, Banker, and the list changes every single day :)”

    Don’t allow others to sway you :)

  15. You are one smart lady! I have done both and being a SAHM is the best career move I made.

  16. @ Leah – Thanks for your perspective. Your life sounds great! What a joy it must be to be able to strike a balance like that.

  17. Maybe the editor needs to work a bit more on the mistakes in this post?

  18. Aw, Megan, you’re so right! I saw a bumper sticker the other day that said “Motherhood: It’s a lifestyle. Everything else is just a job.” :D

    I love hearing girls talk like this! I just got married a few years ago and now have two little boys and another baby on the way. There is nothing more rewarding, exciting, or just plain fun than mothering! (Of course, there’s also nothing as stressful, difficult, or demanding too.) ;D

    Keep up the great perspective! : )

    ~Lauren

  19. Preach it, sister! ;)

  20. Amen and amen!

    Heather

  21. I think you made some excellent observations!

    Just the other day, I was thinking about how some people feel that women who stay home and care for a husband and or children without a career outside the home are “trapped” and “have no freedom.” This is far from the truth. Full-time Homemakers have the ability and freedom to apply and tackle a multitude of tasks. When are you “stuck” in an office all day, you are literally confined to your post until you are “released” to go home. I don’t see much freedom in that, do you? :)

    Blessings to you and your family,

    -Lady Rose

  22. No need to knock “career women”, keep in mind many of us go to work and still get to cook, cut hair, teach our kids, write and edit. I’m not disagreeing that full time parenting can be fulfilling, it certainly can be, but working within our chosen field and sharing equal parenting with our partners can be quite fulfilling as well!

    As a “career woman” I laugh a little when you say I may be limited in my choices because of my career. A career isn’t something to do INSTEAD of parenting, it’s something to do along with parenting and all that comes with it.

    I am a full time parent and I also work as a research scientist at a university. My husband teaches at a college and works as an editor. We both demand flexibility from our employers and we use that to share parenting duties for our 3 year old, 21 month old twins and 8 month old.

    We plan to homeschool our children and do not use any daycare (my sister helps out one day a week). The rest of the time one of us is home, or the kids are split between the two of us at work.

    Yes, we are busy, but we are enjoying our children and our careers and looking forward to growing our family as well as new opportunities in our careers.

    Some people may think it’s nuts to do what we do, we love it, and still find time to garden, raise chickens and can and freeze all our food. I don’t think anyone should feel they can’t have a career and also enjoy a large family.

  23. Great! i had to read that out-loud to my husband.

  24. Great point!! =)

  25. I like your style girlfriend.

  26. Yup! I love all the creative interesting things I get to learn and I get to bring all these creative interesting kiddos along with me!

  27. Megan, you are right on. As a SAHM, I can do and be anything and everything. And be there for my children all the time.

  28. Amen and amen. We do not just scrub floors. We DO things, and we can, as we fulfill God’s calling for ALL women, do so much more than the average career woman! What a wonderful truth. I can’t wait to become the Stay at home Mama- for now- In training. ;) These years that the world calls ‘teen’ years are the most free years of our lives- not to go out and ‘live’ before we get ‘chained to the sink’ but to serve our families and church in a way that has the least responsibility [in a way, in that we don't have a husband and children to care for]. :D
    Thanks for a great and wise post.

  29. Alanna N. says:

    That post was well put. Loved it!!! I’m going to be a SAHM too one day (I hope and pray!)!

  30. I love this post Megan! Thats brilliantly stated! I want to be SAHM too!!!

  31. Such a profound statement for a young person. Of course, the fact that I’m making this statement makes me feel old.

    My point is Megan, that you are so right. You can, and will, be whatever you choose. Remember these thoughts when you are older and people question this choice…if you make that choice.

  32. You are so right, Megan! I can’t wait to be a SAHM myself. :-)

  33. Lisa Granger says:

    Megan, are you a stay at home mom? I didn’t realize :)
    You can be anything you want to be, you can be a mom and have a career, you can be a mom and work from home, you can work from home and not be a mom, have a career and not be a mom, or any combination of the above.

  34. Love it! So true!!

Don't just think it: say it!

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