Tell me if I’m weird. I hate to make phone calls. I don’t mean “hate” as in dislike. I mean it gives me butterflies in my stomach, like when I arrived at the dentist to have my wisdom teeth pulled. Like when I got pulled over that time I was speeding, and knew it. Like when the excitement of a new pregnancy has worn off and I realize that I have to go through labor again before I get to meet the kid.
I hate to make phone calls. My kids hate leaving voicemail, but I breathe a sigh of relief if I make it past the 4th ring. It’s my Get Out Of Jail Free card. I made the call and didn’t have to do the conversation. Now the ball is in their court, and when we talk it will be because they called me instead of vice versa. I’m fine with that, and I have no idea why.
Well, maybe I do have an idea. I’m just guessing, but I think it’s because I’m naturally a quiet person. I don’t do well at keeping up my half of a conversation, and if I’m the one who made the call I feel that the burden is on me to manage the entire call: the introduction (how have you been lately? how did that thing work out?), the business (why did I really call you today?), the post-business chit chat (now what do I say???), the graceful exit (umm…I see blood, smell smoke, and hear screams. gotta go.)
If I call you, I have to do all this, don’t I? Isn’t that how it works? Do other quiet people understand what I’m feeling? Do talkative people think I’m off my rocker?