In which I save my hunney’s life and limbs

Well, maybe it wasn’t all that dramatic.  I’ll let you be the judge.

Last night, Perry went to bed ahead of me.  When I came to the room, it was dark and the baby was sound asleep in his playpen.  Perry was still awake and rolled over to make room for me.  I undressed in the dark, and just as I crawled into bed he raised his arm in my direction.

“Knock that daddy longleg off my arm.”

His arm was a dark shadow in a dark room.  I could just barely see something on the back of his elbow.  It didn’t seem like a daddy longleg shape.  My brain was moving in slow motion, my sense of alarm rising slowly like the ocean’s tide.

“That doesn’t look like -” …SMACK! I slapped his arm in sudden panic and jumped backward off the bed.

“I think that was a scorpion!”

He looked skeptical when I flipped on the light a millisecond later, but he was already off the bed.  I’m not sure how he moved so quickly, but clearly he wasn’t taking any chances.

A daddy longleg scuttled across the floor, and we looked at each other.  “Are we satisfied with that?” I asked.

There was no answer.  He shrugged and went to the bathroom while I stood staring at the bed, unsure of what to do next.  Lydia just reminded me that he also left me alone in the room 12 years ago with a bat under similar circumstances, except that I was actively chasing the brute around the room.  Apparently we have a pattern here.  I probably shouldn’t expect him to help me with a copperhead if we ever find one in our bedroom, like my parents did a few years back.

As he left the room, I saw this:

scorpion tail under my PILLOW

Yes, I reconstructed the scene for you.  Just go with it, ok?  Feel my horror.  Let’s try again.  Then I saw THIS!

SCORPION UNDER MY PILLOW, PEOPLE!!!

And I grabbed this

and this

and did this

to this

scorpion-front-view 

scorpion-face 

scorpion-and-quarterA full-sized nightmare neatly wrapped up in a 3-inch package.  Horrible?  Yes.  Did I sleep last night?  Yes.  Perry laughed because I was in the fetal position, but I always sleep that way.  My sleep position had nothing to do with this:

scorpion-stinger

scorpion-stinger-close up

or this:

scorpion-claw

In our part of Texas, scorpions are like spiders.  If you don’t spray poison in, on and around your home, you will have one every now and then.  We’ve been blessed to have very few in our home in spite of the fact that we don’t spray.  They’re not dangerous – the sting is just a little worse than a bee sting.  But they’re terrifying to behold, and I NEVER EVER WANT TO SEE ONE IN MY BED AGAIN.

Comments

  1. I also live in Texas and sleep with scorpions. I awoke once to a nasty sting and tried to smash the offender, but he crawled into the sheets. I said quietly (so as not to wake our kids in the room), “David, get up.” He replied, “Mumble, mumble.” I tried again to rouse him and finally whisper-shouted, “There’s a scorpion in bed with you!” He bounded out of bed like a plank that had been stomped on one end. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him move that fast!

    Another commenter mentioned just getting stung to take away the fear–sorry, that doesn’t work. It’ll give you the heebie-jeebies all. night. long. Speaking from experience here. We actually get scorps often enough that even my 2 year old son knows how to kill them with a shoe.

  2. I think my hunney would promptly pack his bags and head back to his native Spain if he saw one of those in our bed – considering the reaction he just had to the cockroach on the wall. Granted, I likely wouldn’t be too far behind him – and not just ‘cuz we’re married. I’m okay with bugs, but NOT in my bed.

  3. I feel your fear! A little over 2 years ago we moved to central Georgia and realized that there were scorpions over here! From April to June (that is supposed to be the time when you are most likely to see them) I bring a flashlight to bed and check under the covers every night! My husband thinks it’s funny, but I’m not taking any chances :)

  4. Jennifer says:

    As a fellow Gulf-Coaster Texan like Lisa, I too, will take the hurricanes (though I’d like to leave the roaches AND the mosquitos) over scorpions!

    I would like to ex-pat one day, but if I have to stay in the U.S. and if I have to stay in Texas, the furthest I’ll move is an hour away to Houston. (I LOVE Houston!)

    But it’s like they say: better the devil you know than the one you don’t.

  5. Kim, it is the least I could do seeing as how both you and Jennifer (@Conversion Diary) have convinced my that I am never, ever moving away from the Gulf coast to the Austin area =D I’ll take the huge tree roaches and the occasional hurricane over scorpions any day!

  6. Chrissy Gomez says:

    Yikes! I wish I lived in the Hill Country most of the time, but we live in DFW. I have not ever had a scorpion in my home, but I know people who live in more wooded areas who have!

  7. Granted, I’ve never see a scorpion in real life, and that one looks exactly like I imagine one would (i.e. scary), but I was terrified as soon as you mentioned the words Daddy Long Legs in your post, and I am pretty sure that I would rather have a scorpion crawling on me than a daddy long legs. No joke.

    I know this because my husband and I went camping for my birthday last weekend, and I found one on my pillow, and started screaming loud enough to wake the entire campground, ran into our car and refused to get out until morning. And one of the few things I remember saying through my hyperventilation was, “That was as terrifying as living through any horror movie I can imagine!” At the time, I’m pretty sure I meant it.

    LOL Oh, phobias.

    Good job on the scorpion, btw. I love that your hubby waited for you to go to bed to have you brush it off his arm!

  8. I don’t know if I could ever sleep again!

  9. Creepy!

    There is this stuff that many organic gardeners use to rid their gardens of slugs and their chicken houses of lice and even to worm their pets. I’ve heard of it used to rid homes of spiders, roaches, etc. It’s called Diotomaceous Earth (sometimes referred to as DTE. It is cheapest when you purchase it in the pool filter section. As I understand it, it’s not a chemical at all, but a fine powdery substance consisting of bazillions of fossilized, microscopic shells that cut open small bugs and spiders and kill them. Making a trail of this around the perimeter of your home during the summer time might just do the trick, adding more if it blows away.

  10. Bethany Woods says:

    Oh my! This is how we view brown recluse spiders at our house! I guess every region has its death-wrapped-in-a-small-package.
    Praise God for your narrow miss.

    Bethany

  11. Julie B says:

    Beautifully written . Kim you are so gifted. We live above Houston . We have only lived in Texas for a few months. The only scorpions I have ever seen have been on nature shows. Until the other night as I was heading down the hall with a handfull of laundry and there it was walking down our very skinny hall. They just look so Clash of the Titansish.

  12. But. . . Did the baby wake up?

  13. Reminds me of the time, my daughter felt something in her towel, and shook out a black widow spider. She checks all her towels now. I think I’d have a less than restful night after that meeting.

  14. We have plenty o’ scorpions in Alabama but since we got chickens we have seen very few in the house. We know where to look outside when we WANT to see one, but we seldom see them otherwise :)

    When we first moved into our house it had been unoccupied for several years. We did set off some bombs before we moved in and we still saw lots of bugs that first year. Our oldest got stung when he was almost two :( And I did have one in my bed once. I thought it was a wood sliver when it stung me; it was just a baby one.

    You’re a brave lady and Perry is a blessed man ;)

  15. Thankful to live in Alaska–we don’t even have snakes of any kind! Of course there are six months of winter to consider. . .

  16. So, the story goes for us Washingtonians that we like to boast about the rain because it keeps the Californians from moving up here.

    I’m thinking there might be a Texas campaign going on here….
    ;-)

  17. Suzanne says:

    I was in Georgia recently with my family and I nearly stepped barefoot on one in the kitchen. I called my husband in to deal with it and he captured it alive and then woke up our three little kids to come check it out. Our two year old thought we should eat it like a lobster.

  18. LOL!! See this is the reason I always get excited about an email from you!! You made me laugh out loud this morning! Thanks for sharing your story and pics!!

  19. Your gift for storytelling keeps me coming back! Glad you both escaped! :)

  20. chantelle says:

    yikes!!!!!!!! Those shoes were entirely too small to be working with! You are one brave woman.

  21. I am never moving to Texas! I really could not cope with scorpions as I cannot cope with anything that can sting me! I think you are very brave! xx

  22. Emma Filbrun says:

    And I am glad to live in New Zealand where the worst things are poisonous spiders!

  23. Tiffany says:

    Creepy! And now that I’m up late reading this, I just know I’m going to have a dream involving scorpions. :)

  24. OK, having read through the comment thread…I never want to visit Texas. Or Oklahoma. Or Phoenix. Or Australia. And Virginia not a big draw, either!

    I’ll just stay right here with the local wildlife. You know, those cute and cuddly looking moose and grizzlies. At least they can’t sneak into my bed!

  25. I have actually had a scorpion sting me in bed and lived to tell the tale. I think it makes you a real Texan!

  26. Can I just say I am right there with you!!! We recently bought a house (in Oklahoma) that had been vacant for a year. We have found so many scorpions! When the baby wakes in the night, I just cringe inside and then grab my flashlight to get him. We finally did spray because there were just so many (and our oldest got stung in bed in the middle of the night!) It’s helped tons! They completely creep me out!

  27. Oh yikes, I might not sleep for days! (Okay, nights.) Glad you killed it.

  28. ewwwwww!!!! Reminds me of the time I found a palmetto on my bed!!! I am amazed you slept there!!

  29. We live in Phoenix and are the only people we know who has not had a scorpion in the house. Every other pestilence likes it here so I don’t understand why we don’t have scorpions, but am glad for it!

  30. LOL! Its just a scorpion! Keep telling yourself: “I have to get stung, so that the phobia will go away”

    • Justin, I’ve been stung. That’s how I know that it’s just a little worse than a bee sting. Having been stung doesn’t make me any more eager to sleep with one.

  31. Grateful to not live in Texas. :)

  32. Yikes! In years of living in Virginia and West Virginia, I’ve only encountered spiders and the occasional blacksnake. I think I’ll count my blessings now.

  33. I live in Australia. We have: spiders that live in holes in the ground and can kill you; spiders that prefer to hide under the toilet seat and can kill you; jellyfish and octopus that can kill you; so many snakes that can kill you that I’ve stopped trying to differentiate and just assume all snakes must be avoided at all costs; and cute furry aquatic animals with poisonous claws. And yet, the idea of a scorpion in the bed makes me want to scream till I can’t breathe.

  34. Yikes!!! That would be so creepy…

  35. Yikes! That would scare me to death!

  36. I notice I didn’t get to preview this post.

    One note of consequence:

    I wasn’t abandoning you to those beasties, I was leaving the scene of unreasonable panic. In the case of the bat, I was trying to sleep but you kept leaping over the bed and screaming – it was a bit difficult. So I went to the loo while you calmed yourself.

    In the case of the scorpion, you were on that thing before my eyes could focus on it. It seemed like overkill at the time for 2 adults to pounce on a 3 inch (most likely dead) scorpion.

    Oh one other thing: the copper head was in the kitchen cupboard, and YES I did run from it ;) Ran like the gates of hell itself were closing on me.

    • Hunney,
      They had a copperhead in their bed, too. I don’t know who took care of it. I bet the story would sound different depending on who you asked. :)

    • Lisa,
      Why did you share that link? Now it’s almost 6:00 and I haven’t started dinner yet. She has way too many scorpion posts! ;)

  37. Natalya says:

    ugh. This is why I live in Wisconsin and want to go on an adventure in Antarctica instead of the Amazon (no bugs at ALL in Antarctica…bugs…my worst nightmare) You are really brave. I’m arachnophobia and I have never seen a scorpion anywhere except behind glass at the Knee High kids section in the Creation Museum (and that one could have been fake for all I know it sure wasn’t moving) but I imagine, if I saw one for real in my bed no less, I would (very rapidly) turn into a scorpiophobe (I don’t think that’s a word…oh well) and run away at fast as you can say…who am I kidding, as fast as you can scream! :) lol. You’re really brave. But I agree with Happy Elf Mom, perhaps a dozen roses? (girl’s best friend after chocolate) ;)

  38. Heeby-jeebies’s…

    Chills…

    Shudder….

    Chills again…

    You are brave.

  39. Perry, you OWE her something! Not sure what. But thank your sweetie you didn’t lay your head down on that pillow… :)

  40. wow. now i’m off to try and see if we have those in louisiana! ugh! (shiver, shiver)

  41. OH I am officially horrified!!! Yikes. I don’t know how you slept. Ug.

    I’ve lived in Texas my whole life and never had a scorpion in the house. There was this one church camp we went to however…..
    Ug.

  42. My Boaz's Ruth says:

    Aieeee!

    We saw a scorpion at work recently and I was SO glad to be working with a bunch of guys!

  43. Oh. My. Goodness. You are a brave woman. And I’m glad I live in Virginia and have never beheld a live scorpion. I can do without that in my life. Ever.

  44. And also can’t spell the name of my own country! ;) Probably because I am still doing this:

    *shudder*

  45. *shudder*

    No seriously. I live in Enland. Serious shudders!!!

    *shudder*

  46. lois groat says:

    You have succeeded in completely creeping me out. Thanks for the lovely (?) photo spread. It definitely enhanced the story. :P

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