I want to be a loser: 6 weeks later

145, baby!It’s been 6 weeks since I decided to lose the weight that has crept up on me over the last 19 years, and it’s time for another update.  I don’t know how much you all care about reading my updates, but I think knowing that I will share an update every 7 days really helps keep me motivated, so pretend you care.  ;)

Over the past 7 days, I did lose just a bit more weight.  One pound, I think.  I’m finding it difficult to remember exactly where I started – is that strange to you? – so I’m very tempted just to start posting my weight.  I don’t know if I should because…well, because of my own twisted female logic and the fact that others might think like me.

If I post my weight every week,  somebody out there might think to herself, “That’s not so bad.  I don’t know why she’s even concerned.  She’s so self-absorbed.  I weight XX more than that!”

And somebody else might think, “Is that all?  She’s just showing off, or trying to make the rest of us feel fat.  I’m never reading her blog again.”

And somebody else might think, “Wow!  She weighs that much??? I never knew KimC was so heavy!  She must be hiding some chunky thighs under those skirts.”

OK, I’m not so worried about that last one.  If somebody wants to tell me I don’t look my weight – in a good way – I’m happy to hear it. And yes, I do have chunky thighs, but that’s not why I wear skirts.

But I don’t want to seem like I’m bragging.  And maybe nobody would accuse me of bragging once they saw the number, so I’m worrying for nothing.

What do you think?  Should I share my actual weight every week, or just my loss?

At any rate, my very bottom weight now is the top of my pre-marriage/pre-pregnancy weight range.  If I eat too much salt or just too much food one day, I instantly gain about 4 lbs. (curse you, water retention!) and I’m out of range again, but at least I can touch the range now!

Maybe my first 4 lbs. when I started 6 weeks ago shouldn’t count for that very reason, but we don’t always have to be rational, do we?  I want to count them, so I can say that I’ve lost 12 or 13 lbs. so far.  That sounds so much better than 8 lbs. doesn’t it?

I was on and off the wagon when it comes to diet, relaxing some days and eating very light on others.  While I do slip toward old habits occasionally, I think my bad days now don’t even compare to how I used to eat.  Unlike our new exercise program, I think the diet is something I can live with – more or less – for an indefinite time.  I want to say forever, but I don’t know about that…

Body fat

I know that weight isn’t supposed to be how we measure our health, and I honestly don’t depend as heavily on the numbers as you might think.  The main reason I’m aiming for my pre-preg weight range is because I know I have a lot more fat and less muscle.  Even when I reach that weight, I will still have a much higher percentage of body fat than I used to have.

In the interest of getting a better picture of our true fitness level, we bought a body fat caliper from Amazon last week.  The cheapest one ($5!) had great reviews, which made me happy.  When it arrived, I learned why it had such great reviews: it tells sweet little lies.  I am not so gullible as to believe that my body is in the lean category.  I do not need to gain some body fat to reach the “ideal” range.  I just need to find a better more accurate way to measure my body fat.

I was not surprised when Google showed me 100 different ways to measure body fat with 100 wildly varying results.  I kept trying until I got results that lined up with my own preconceived body image.  What else could I do?

The take-away lesson for me was to pay attention to my own measurements and how they change rather than where they fall on somebody’s chart.

Exercise

p90x is hard but I can do it!
Perry and I started P90X last week, and it’s hard. I knew that already, and I’m fine with it.  I still don’t blame the workout for last week’s back injury, but I did miss the 2 following workouts because of it.  I think I did pretty well for the rest of the week, and while my muscles are still very sore – I spent most of the weekend limping around the house moaning about my aching [legs, shoulders, buns, fill in the blank] – I am looking forward to building and toning my muscles again.

I think watching the rest of the family suffer through Insanity helps my opinion of P90X. While others are talking about how brutal it is, I’m thinking, “This isn’t so bad.  This isn’t nearly as strenuous as Insanity.  I can do this!”

On the other hand, I often do reach the point where I just can’t go on and have to take a break.  To my surprise, I nearly always find that if I had pushed for another 10 seconds I would have made it to the next break.  Oh, and once Perry pointed out that “break” doesn’t mean I have to jog in place and do jumping jacks like that Big Stupid Show-Off Tony Horton and his 3 Show-Off Sidekicks, I did much better.

Did I mention I hate exercise?  I’d much rather starve to death than exercise to death.  Or to skinniness.  Whatever the goal, I prefer starvation as a method.

 

Comments

  1. I appreciate reading it, keep it up!

  2. It really makes me dislike bloggers when they post how much they weigh (if they’re relatively skinny) One blogger I read always posts her weight in her pregnancy and always weigh less than I do not pregnant! It’s like why are you posting your weight of like 125lbs every month while pregnant ? What’s the point…all you’re saying is that you are better than all the other pregnant mama’s out there who don’t even weigh that on a good day? I think it’s a form of pride or insecurity posting numbers like that.

    So I wouldn’t post my weight cause it would probably make a lot of people jealous. I have learned the hard way to not complain about my weight around others because those heavier than me get a little upset because they have 40lbs extra to lose.

    Anyways that’s just my honest 2 cents! :)

    • Jessica, thank you. I’ve come to a similar conclusion although I probably weigh more than most people think. I like to think I’m solidly built and not as heavy as my number sounds, but maybe I’m fooling myself. :)
      At any rate, I’ll take your advice and that of other readers, and abstain from posting my weight.

  3. Kim you are so funny.

    Ever since my scale broke, I have been eating like a pig. So I need to go to Walmart for a battery asap. It’s sad how poorly I do without accountability.

    This whole series of yours is fascinating, though, because a lot of the same things are happening to me on my weight loss journey.

    If you overeat, do you instantly look 3 months pregnant? I do! I hope I’m not the only one. It’s really embarrassing. Usually, by morning it is gone.

    Also, do you count your weight as the morning weight? I count mine weight as morning, after peeing and nursing, haha. I am usually 4-6 pounds heavier in the afternoon.

    • Jenny, Perry had a good laugh at my expense yesterday because I do exactly what you said: weigh first thing in the morning, after anything that causes me to lose weight and before a drink of water or my shower (don’t want to weigh clothes or wet hair!).
      I don’t get the 3-months-pregnant thing from overeating, but I have a *very* skinny friend who swears she does. I tell her it’s because she has no body fat: I can see a triangular lump in her belly where her slice of cheesecake landed. :)
      I do, however, gain 5 lbs. or more from one bad day. Of course 4 of them come off the next day if I mind my manners.

      • Charlotte says:

        Glad to see I’m not the only one with a weigh in routine…I will only weigh myself …
        1. in the morning
        2. if I’ve only eaten my usual breakfast of two eggs and water
        3. after I’ve exercised
        4. and went to the bathroom
        5. and removed all clothing and hair accessories (just before my postworkout shower)

        My husband insists I’m crazy, but if I weigh at other times the scale will be all over the place, usually five pounds up.

  4. Well done you! I think you should post your actual weight loss each week or whatever. It will encourage you and lots of others. I’ve been posting my weight loss journey on my FB page and have encouraged a few other folks with that! I spent the last 14 years having and nursing babies and the weight from each piled on and stayed on! In over a year I’ve lost nearly 50 pounds through diet and exercise! It is good to be accountable and to encourage folks along the way…keep up the good work!!!!!

  5. I don’t think you should share your weight. I think it’s too personal. But if you continue to post how much you have lost each week you will still have that feeling of motivation and accountability. If you visit fitday.com you can sign up for a free account and track your weight (plus tons of other stuff). I am also working on my weight, so I give my husband my current stats and have him enter them. That’s how I feel accountable.

  6. kim….

    i want to start by saying that i really enjoy your blog! your personality shines through in your posts and i love to laugh at the funny things you say!

    regarding your weight…congratulations on your weight loss!!!! losing weight isn’t easy and i admire your hard work and consistency! i’ve lost 39 lbs in the past 2 years and could probably stand to lose another 5, but it’s been hard to get the last 5 off. hitting 40 this year has made a huge difference in my ability to both lose weight and keep weight off. i think that if you’re comfortable sharing your weight then you should. for me, i don’t weight a lot, but i still don’t care to share the number if i don’t have to. silly, i know!

    i would love to know what time of the day you exercise? with school starting soon, i am trying to figure out when to exercise and keep up with school at the same time.

    • Patty, I exercise with Perry on his schedule which means in the evening, sometimes very late. I don’t know if it’s ideal but that’s what works for us.

  7. I have to share with you my newest exercise DVDs. I’m doing The Firm Express. Each workout is 20 minutes long and you do it 3 days a week. And boy do they work you in those 20 minutes. I love that it’s so doable. I mean I can find 20 minutes 3 times a week to workout for sure!

  8. Ladies, thank you for the suggestion of posting my BMI. I’ll think I’ll do that instead of sharing my weight.
    Just checked: At 23.4, it seems I’m still dangerously close to being overweight.
    But if I’m exercising and building muscle, my weight may stay the same or even go up, making my BMI look worse as I progress…ugh! Whose idea was this? ;)

  9. Jenifer T. says:

    Reading how fast your weight is coming off can be hard for me at times. But I am somewhat used to it since my momma has had 10 kids is taller than me and weighs less than me, haha! We are totally different body types but right now I have lost 6lbs in the past 6 wks. I only weigh in every 2 wks though, it’s less discouraging for me to do that. ;) I have 17lbs to go. Only 5 until pre marriage weight but I was heavier then. After I had baby #1 I lost down to my new weight and try and get back to that even though it had been more difficult after babies #3 & #4. Am currently 5m postpartum with baby #5 and trying to lower my carbs, stop grazing and exercise and sweat. I think it is finally working. :)

    • Jenifer, that’s part of the reason I hesitate to post my weight. But if you are steadily losing 1 lb./week, you’re doing great! Remember, if I didn’t count the first 4 lbs. that were probably just a belly full of food, I’ve only lost 8 lbs. in 6 weeks, and I’m probably eating less than 1200 calories while nursing – *much* less on some days. We’re not far apart!

  10. I am enjoying your updates. It doesn’t matter to me if you post your weight or not. I have never been really large, but I too have hid chunky thighs under clothing. It is hard for some to relate to the need to lose weight unless you are really or obviously over weight. For me personally, it is about feeling good and having the energy to run and play with my kids. When I am carrying around 10 extra pounds I feel sluggish and just not well. Keep it up!

  11. Congrats on your continued weight loss :-) I’m really not jealous…heehee! I was thinking that maybe instead of posting your actual weight you could use a smartphone app. I have an iphone app called Target Weight. It is a free app that allows you to enter your weight, a weight loss goal & your height. Then it calculates your BMI & graphs your data to let you know how you are doing. I think it’s very helpful.

  12. want real honesty…. nah, not because of any of those reasons – its just boring I can read weight loss stuff anywhere that not what I come here for, but its your blog as they say so its totally up to you.

  13. I think it’s probably wisest not to share your weight – for the same reason you wouldn’t necessarily share your exact weekly grocery budget or how much your hubby earns. Perhaps you could post your BMI though? That’s still a number but it doesn’t reveal your weight.

    I’ve been working on losing weight for four and a half weeks now and I’ve lost about four and a half pounds (2 kilos! I’m in Australia!). I’d like to lose it quicker but I have to learn that my body just doesn’t cope with some things it used to. I’ve found I need to drink a LOT more water than I ever have before. And the more I drink, the less I eat :-).

    Keep on going :-). I still have another 15kg (33 pounds) left to go to get to my wedding weight, 11kg (24 pounds) to get to my pre-babies weight. And about 6kg (12.5 pounds) to get to my pre-the-last-baby weight. My current target is 10kg (22lb) loss. Argh those figures look awful!

  14. I wouldn’t post the number…I honestly think women don’t want to be catty, but being born with sin natures… Without numbers, it’s the common story of all of us who want to get healthier and leaner. With numbers, it becomes a comparison game.

    Great blog, thanks for sharing so much with us. Also, we bought two of those remote control tanks from you last Christmas, and they are LOADS of fun!

    Grace,
    Mae

  15. Charlotte says:

    Congrats! I can understand about feeling uncomfortable sharing your weight, but now I’ve been living in China for six years and all women talk about and share weight (and salary) so I’ve gotten used to it. (but not the salary part) I’ve actually been wanting to post my weight on Facebook for some accountability, but I kind of felt exactly like you’ve written. I’m under the American average (I wear an 8 but I just bought a bathing suit here..XXXL!) but still have a flabby belly and thighs…so I need to lose about 15 pounds of fat in order to be at my optimum weight and, more importantly, get my triglycerides to normal levels.

    I’ve found your posting on this very motivating and I’ve lost 8 pounds since you started. I’m interested in P90x and Insanity so I’m anxious to read what your family has to say about them.

    Like the blog redesign too!

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