I forgot to warn you that this week’s 4 Moms post would be a linky, mainly because I forgot that this week’s 4 Moms post would be a linky. That means we’re on a level playing field, you and I. A little last-minute never hurt anyone, right? So read to the bottom really quick then start pounding out your post and link up.
But I don’t recommend the last-minute principle for packing hubby’s lunch if there is any way to avoid it.
MAN LUNCH 101
Tip #1: Plan and pack ahead of time
I’m a slow learner, but I have finally realized that morning good-bye kisses go better if hubby is carrying a lunch that was packed with love and care the previous night. He just doesn’t feel as loved when he is holding a lunch packed with bleary eyes and groggy mind 3 minutes before he walks out the door, and I can hardly blame him. Of course his lunches are better when I plan and pack ahead, and doesn’t every man measure your love for him in terms of how you feed him? I jest, but there’s more than a kernel of truth to the old saying, “The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.”
Tip #2: Pack what he likes, not what you like
I have also learned that while I might enjoy fruit smoothies and raw almonds, and children might like PB&J, those are not Man Food. I don’t know how it works in your house, but my man needs meat. It’s not a meal if it doesn’t have meat. His definition of meat has recently expanded to include other animal-based proteins like eggs and large quantities of cheese, and he has learned to enjoy beans as a source of satisfying protein, but if I want him to feel loved and happy and satisfied his lunch has to contain meat on a regular basis.
I’ve resigned myself to the fact that this is how his brain works. It’s not how mine works, but I didn’t marry myself, and we’re not talking about my lunch. If we were, you would be hearing about smoothies and raw almonds.
Tip #3: Listen to him
I have also learned that just when I get into a lunch groove and I think I know exactly what he likes and how much of it for lunch, something changes. Lunches have been a struggle for me and it seems so easy once I finally get into a groove, so I sometimes find myself feeling resentful when I get knocked out of it.
Just when I’ve got the amounts down to a science, he wants less – or more. Just when I figure out how often to buy fresh produce, he decides he doesn’t want salad every day anymore. When I finally manage to plan ahead a whole week, he announces that he’s going to eat just fruit and veggies for lunch this week.
It can feel like a constant challenge, and I’m easily frustrated. I like things to be easy. I don’t want to have to think about it, work on it, or plan ahead. When this happens, I need to remind myself that this is just one way for me to serve my beloved who serves me and the household in so many ways. Sarah was commended for calling her husband lord (I Peter 3:6); who am I to complain when my lord requests a change?
Tip #4: Leftovers
This post has turned into the classic, “Do as I say and not as I do,” but here’s the nitty gritty I was planning to blog about. In simple terms, Perry generally wants and receives dinner leftovers for lunch. When I plan dinner, I cook extra and plan for leftovers because I know he’s not taking PB&J for tomorrow’s lunch. This much I have mastered. When I’m really thinking ahead, I set aside his portion before dinner is served so that we don’t accidentally eat up all the “good stuff” and leave him with nothing but a side dish of carbs.
If I do it right, this means I’m not scrambling in the morning, bleary-eyed and groggy-brained, trying to find a good lunch for a good man so we can enjoy a good kiss on his way out the door.
Tip #5: Relax and communicate.
My impulse is to fret about the budget and take it personally when he goes out to lunch and leaves the lunch I packed sitting in the breakroom, forlorn and forgotten. Maybe it means he was dissatisfied with the lunch I packed and I need to try harder, but maybe it means he wanted to eat out with a friend. Maybe it means crispy hot onion rings and a juicy burger sounded really good that day. I’m learning – slowly again – not to object when he makes a decision that I wouldn’t have made. I am his wife and helper, not his mother.
How do you feed your man?
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The other moms are talking about it too:
- Smockity Frocks, who confesses that she has never once packed a lunch for her husband.
- Raising Olives, who confesses why her husband never needs a bagged lunch either.
- Common Room, who sometimes packs the most amazing lunches you ever saw, but sometimes not.
Upcoming topics for 4 Moms:
- September 15 – Parenting styles
- September 22 – Q&A
- September 29 – {surprise}
- October 6 – Keeping up with housework in the midst of homeschooling
Recent topics:
- August 4 - Large Family Logistics linky, part 1
- August 11 – Large Family Logistics linky, part 2
- August 18 – Large Family Logistics linky, part 2b
- August 25 – Large Family Logistics linky (appendices)
- September 1 - 4 Moms practice patience in the midst of chaos
About 4 Moms, including a complete list of all past topics
Your hubby sounds so much like mine.
It’s not a meal without meat.
Changing things up every now and then.
Me trying not to take it personally when he asks for something different!
He also gets and requests leftovers and I do the hiding his portion before we eat thing too.
One thing I’ve used is divided plastic containers from the dollar store. I’ll put a leftover main dish in the big compartment and then add frozen veggies and a dash of water to the smaller compartments, then freeze it. That way if we don’t have anything on hand to pack a lunch, he can just grab a homemade frozen meal.
Of course now I’m trying to avoid microwaving plastic so we don’t do this much anymore, but it worked GREAT for us for awhile.
great info… my husband just started having a job away from the home (at least at lunch)…. so we’re just at the beginning of this “lunch packing” stage;)
And of course, he rushed through making his own lunch, rushed out the door and left it this AM.
Love that you included NOT to be offended if he leaves it or asks for something different! Simple but great advice;)!
Freezing leftovers in a Ziploc and letting him choose the lunch he wants for the day has helped our lunch woes tremendously. He then takes it to work and heats it up in the dishes that his workplace has for the employees to use.
But he still prefers to eat a PP&J for lunch on many days. I on the other hand need meat at lunch most days or I start to get very moody. I guess I am like that because I’ve spent the last 7 years either pregnant or nursing or both.
We are all on #4. I pack his before we eat as well. That way he always gets a his share..lol
You’re on a roll Kim. I cried over the last post! A much needed silent-chuckle-tears-run-down-face cry:-) Your lunch post was spot on. Thank you friend!
Thanks for this post, it’s really nice to know that I’m not alone! Your hubby sounds so much like mine, and I get frusterated easily as well. Love the encouraging verse in there. I’m going to try to remember that the next time plans go awry
I thank our Good Lord daily that my dear husband does not want me to pack him a lunch everyday. He wants breakfast food available, he may or may not eat, he wants to take care of his own lunch, and he wants me to plan a dinner he wants to eat. Except on weekends when I stress and struggle over 2 full meals in one day, two days in a row. I cannot figure out why lunch is so hard for me. Sigh, maybe I’ll pick up a tip in the linkies:D
Lunch away from home is easy, if I pack for everyone dh wants a peanut butter only sandwich, but he would not eat a sandwich for any reason at all for the first 15 years together. I don’t know what changed but I am grateful:D
Number 5 is my bane. My husband forgets his lunch because he just… forgets. He’s always scrambling on his way out the door, leaves and comes back three times, and often moves the lunch from fridge to counter and leaves it there.
I struggle with being irked when that happens, but if I just got myself up and out of bed when he leaves, I could be sure he had it with him, couldn’t I?