Will you hate me if I confess that I don’t like the holiday season? That’s not to say I don’t like Christmas. I am unspeakably grateful for God’s gift of His Son, and for the salvation that flows out of Him. But I don’t like all the stress and tension and busy-ness that invariably accompany the holiday. Six weeks of…
- a schedule gone topsy-turvy, which is to say no schedule at all.
- heavy traffic and nightmarish lines in the store every time I leave the house for milk.
- hype and hysteria in my inbox.
- gift planning, shopping, shipping, for everyone you love – because of course you must buy a gift for everyone you love or even like.
- tired, cranky children who are perpetually overdosed on sugary holiday sweets.
- looking for addresses for Christmas cards. If you think it doesn’t count just because I haven’t actually finished Christmas cards in 10 years, you’re wrong; guilt just adds to stress.
- cranky, scroogy Mom trying to put on a cheerful face and pretend she’s having fun and getting enough sleep, because what sort of person doesn’t like Christmas?!
Sometimes, I envy the Ingalls and their blizzards. A quiet Christmas at home with little fanfare and one small gift apiece for immediate family sounds appealing. But who am I fooling? Quiet, with 12 Coghlans trapped inside? I can hear the maniacal laughter already. I know that the problem is with me and my attitude, because much of the tension flows out of our blessings:
- If we didn’t have money to spend on Christmas, we wouldn’t have to figure out who is on our list and what to buy them.
- If we were struggling to put food on the table, we wouldn’t have to begrudge the time spent on cooking all those holiday goodies.
- If we didn’t have children, we wouldn’t have to put up with their insulin-driven rollercoasters.
- If we didn’t live in a prosperous land, we wouldn’t have to deal with traffic jams and sales announcements and endless mobs of shoppers.
And if we didn’t have a Savior, we wouldn’t have to concern ourselves with how to celebrate His birth.
photo credit: Patrick Q
I’m with you. We only have three young children right now, but the holiday season has already become one of increased stress, no matter how hard I try to retain normalcy. My husband told me last week he wanted us to go shopping for the kids Christmas gifts together. I complied, but the horrid consumerism of the holidays/shoppers/stores these days completely ruins the experience for me. We didn’t end up finding anything and he agreed to let me continue to shop online. Used to be you could avoid the stress by just focusing on the real meaning of Christmas, but like you mentioned, in today’s world even a simple trip to the grocery store is stressful during the holidays. Plus this year we are dealing with the death of my 6-week-old nephew while being joyful in the arrival of another nephew. Needless to say, this Christmas will be full of emotion and I’m already exhausted.
I’m having a hard time this year too. The baby is four months old, and we just moved to a new state/home 2 1/2 months ago (we’re military), there is just too much for this mama to do right now. A few years ago when we had a baby due soon after Christmas we really simplified and it was one of our best Christmases ever. We still did cards, goodies and gifts but somehow it was all toned down so much that the season was quite relaxing. We’ve really been trying to focus on Christ and we have kept things simple around the house, but the cards and boxes have not made it out yet (funny, they are not packaging and addressing themselves no matter how many times I plan to have them done!.) I think the guilt of not getting it done yet is what is weighing on me.
My attitude has had to have a few adjustments lately as well. Although it is a lot better since we began a new family tradition 3 years ago. We now celebrate extended family and friend’s Christmas on Dec. 25th. And OUR Christmas, the ‘peaceful’ one, on January 1st. It works wonders! We have parties, gifts for others, and the big hub-bub all done by the 25th. Then, that day, we spend decorating our house and enjoying our family. After which I have a full week to prepare for our own Christmas celebration. It’s brought a lot of peace into our holidays!
I am always filled with guilt over not liking the ‘season’. My reason is because of allergies making me so sick. We usually don’t do much of anything about Christmas because of it. I’m trying really hard this year to be merry anyway. I bought the tree and the decorations and supervised the putting of it all together. And this afternoon we’re going to make the cute little black olive penguin men. Believe me, this is far more fun than I usually am by this time of the year. Glad to know I’m not the only Scrooge. ;^)
In high school I learned about some of the background behind the things we do at christmas. A lot of them are of pagan origin. A christmas tree for example is a symbol of the resurected son of a god that was set up by Nimrod or so the story goes. Jeremiah 10 has an interesting point on decorated trees. Along with learning that dec. 25 is the pagan celebration of the solstice and it would have been near impossible for Jesus to be born then. No king, even a cruel one would command a census in the middle of winter. And shepherds don’t keep their flocks out at night in the winter. And dec. 25 isn’t even in the bible. Better is a man’s death than his birth is mentioned a few times. I used to be the worst scrooge around for years. It would often make me cry to know these roots and wonder if the church cared? I’ve since calmed down and recognized that thsi is when the church has decided to celebrate our Saviour’s birth. But we don’t get a tree and we join one family or the other. And we haven’t gotten gifts for our immediate family yet (we’re a young family… so we’ll see how long it lasts) we limit our gifts for extended family. And I don’t eat or bake more then usual. There’s always lots to eat why make more:) I definitely get any shopping I do need done early cause those malls are more like zoo’s in december… Why not as a whole family take a step back and look into the real meaning of Christmas… and see what comes of that.
I especially like your last paragraph. Very true.
I like to read “Unplug the Christmas Machine” each year s December starts, to remind me to keep things reasonable. It’s a neat book.
I second this one. This book really set me free. I no longer indulge in guilt over other people’s view of what my Christmas should be. I just focus on Jesus. I was planning a very similar blog for my blog this week.
The context of Jeremiah 10:3-5 indicates that it’s referring to IDOLS carved from trees, not merely decorated trees. While I agree that some people probably place too much importance on the tree (or other Christmas festivities) such that it becomes an idol, I don’t think that verse can be used to be a blanket statement that all Christmas trees are un-Biblical.
We don’t participate in any of the December nonsense. We spend time with family, we serve others (as usual) and we worship Christ with music and scripture on December 25th. I used to hate Christmas too but then I figured out I could stop being mad about it and start celebrating this holy day the way it was meant to be celebrated. Now I LOVE Christmas!!
Sheryl, I’m confident in saying that almost if not all that you learned about the supposed pagan origins of Christmas is false. I’m happy to recommend some resources for you or anyone else can use to get the other side of the Christmas origins debate.
The first is this podcast of Pastor Jeff Meyers being interviewed about Christmas http://www.wordmp3.com/details.aspx?id=7844 he goes over a lot of ground there, from the dating of Christmas to the origin of Christmas trees.
The second is Pastor Meyer’s blog where he has a great series on the topics surrounding Christmas http://jeffreyjmeyers.blogspot.com/2008/12/is-christmas-christian-redux.html
The last is a cheap little book by Ralph Woodrow who used to believe that Christmas was pagan and then changed his views http://amzn.com/0916938131
In closing I would like to point out one thing that I find really convincing in the entire discussion. It’s that almost no one knows about the supposed pagan origins of Christmas, but they all know (and some work really hard to forget) that this is the time of year when all of Christendom gives thanks for Christ Jesus.
Grace and peace to you and your house.
Thank you so much for these resources! My husband had been trying to find some credible resources to draw from in his on going discussion with his sister about this! Thank you!!!
Years ago I stopped talking to people about this because the reactions were rarely positive. I really hesitated to post a comment but now I’m glad I did! Thanks so much for the resources. I read one and will look into the others! Its good to talk about these things. I really appreciate the comment and the resources, as do some others I see. The most important part is keeping Jesus in the centre of our lives and worship. Blessings!
The year I was bawling over our infertility, and we wern’t even going to be home for Christmas. I did no excessive baking, no decorating, and the mail store did most of the shipping addressing of gifts. It was the most peaceful calm Christmas. To come home after and have no packing up ” the happiest time of the year” was fantastic. Yet 2 years later 6 months after we brought home our adopted kiddo. It was a very Merry Christmas. Now I’m still Scrooge since to much christmas = our adoptees melting down. Finding that balance means being more “present” with my children. It truly is the ONE thing they really want for Christmas. I really have found if your on the emotional roller coaster it is perfectly fine to stop the Christmas ride and get off! There will be another one next year!!!
I am praying for you and your family, Sara. I know many a family who goes through “Holiday Death Spiral”.
Thank you for such a reflective post. I needed to read this today. I was just in tears over my own guilt of not having shopped yet for Christmas presents for our children or not having decorated the house or doing anything else that would be remotely festive. It is also my attitude- trying to meet the expectations of children or other family during the holidays. I have such an adversion to the way society so feverishly celebrates Christmas that I sometimes want nothing to do with it. Have you ever noticed the almost competition-like mania that exists in the display of Christmas decorations that sparkle, sing, light up, move, and are motion sensored (how PERFECT and FABULOUS is MY decorated house?); or in the present buying and who will give the most favorite, most desired items on the list instead of buying things that are really needed; or even in all the cooking and baking and giving to children’s teachers, coaches, doctors, pastors, neighbors, friends, or anyone of service to you. Sorry, this has been a real “bah humbug” kind of day. But I really appreciated how you chose to reflect on this attitude in your last list and phrase. I’m with you on wishing for a Little House on the Prairie Christmas. It sounds like an absolute dream to pop back into the past of our grandfathers or great grandfathers and see what it was like to celebrate Christmas then, when perhaps they had less but were grateful more.
Two years ago, our Christmas was canceled due to a huge ice storm. It was the most blessed Christmas I’d ever had! No extended family, no outside commitments, no requests for drives or more food or or or. Last year we had a baby, and it was again crazy, but I’m looking forward to this year again.
Thank you for articulating this, Kim. I feel exactly the same way. Now, back to ordering my Christmas cards…hahaha.
Kim, thanks for your honesty. I know that I at least find encouragement because it seems as if your family does have a grand time celebrating the birth of our Savior, even if this is not your favorite time of the year. I posted about how this season use to be my favorite of the year, but more and more since I’ve had children, I find myself dreading this whole holiday season. http://homesweetgrown.com/2011/11/20/why-the-silence/
I’ve wondered if maybe its a result of a house with all littles and spending the last 6 out of 7 years either pregnant or nursing. I have hopes that when I no longer have just littles in the house that it will not be so overwhelming, but then as I read your post, I realize maybe that is not the source of all the stress. I would agree that much of the stress does flow out of our blessings….so I guess that much of my problem is also my attitude.
Thank you for being so real and transparent, Mrs. C.
I love the Lord with all my heart but have a lot of anxiety this time of year trying to meet every-ones expectations! (and my own)
Blessings from Maine,
Emily
I love the Lord with all my heart and soul, but I hate what Christmas has become. In our area they were putting up Christmas stuff before Halloween was over. Give me a break. I wish that we could all go back in time and remember what Christmas is all about. It is not about Walmart and Target and Macy’s department stores having a good sales year. It is about celebration of the birth of our Lord.
My grandchildren want more and more every year. It makes me feel GRINCH like when I listen to them asking for the loot. I remember they are children; it is my job to remind them of the reason there is a Christmas. Sometimes I feel a lot more pressure than pleasure in the Christmas season.
Sounds like you need some Christmas-themed (don’t worry, it’s G-rated!) stress relief: http://elfyourself.jibjab.com/
We love Elf Yourself! We’ve done it every year for several years running. We haven’t done it yet this year, so thanks for the reminder!
I highly recommend using a pet photo. Making our cat into an elf definitely added to the laughter.
This is what C.S. Lewis had to say about Christmas. I tend to agree with him in some aspects.
http://benwitherington.blogspot.com/2007/12/what-christmas-meant-to-cs-lewis.html
Charity,
Thank you for the link. I *love* what C.S. Lewis had to say on the matter!
i hate shopping and after too many years to count of working retail i learned long ago to get most or all of my shopping done before thanksgiving. with the internet i can relax that rule a bit but i am usually done early. same with christmas baking. luckily for me in pa this time of year it is cold so storing my cookies in my garage is just like keeping them in the fridge and some days the freezer. i have been finished baking and shopping for 2 weeks and can avoid the stores at all costs. this lets me relax and enjoy the holidays more and since i now have an office job no more dealing with cranky tired nasty people fighting over toys or whatever.
I made a big simplify decision a few years ago – I don’t send Christmas cards. Instead, I figure out the amount I would have spent on them, and donate it somewhere, and explain this to anyone who asks or gives us a card. I do still send a very few cards, mostly to elderly relatives who would be hurt if I didn’t, but that has eliminated one huge pre-Christmas stress. Makes a big difference.
I personally rejoice when January arrives!
~mom of 9
This Dad of 9 has been on mission reduce stress in Christmas. Most of these kids really don’t need anything. I’ve stopped putting lights outside, send very few cards, some years not at all. If it’s not fun or family building, I don’t do it. We’ve gone to bigger family presents or some years do KSBJ family tree instead of presents to each other; and of course Santa still comes though. Some years, it’s a hand-me down. The olders give a favorite toy to the next in line.