I used to love going Christmas shopping at the mall. I never really loved the mall itself, but the whole experience was part of Christmas for me. It was very nearly the only time I went, because it was the only time I felt the need to visit 21 different non-grocery stores in the same week. It was fun and exciting to haul 6 small children and a double stroller 45 miles on icy Ohio roads for an all day trip to the mall. Part of the fun was using everyone’s coats to hide 42 gifts from 6 recipients without arousing suspicions of shoplifting, then trying to get everyone back to the minivan without freezing to death. Motherhood does strange things to us.
Something has changed over the years, and I no longer feel the same need or desire to visit the mall. Maybe I changed. Maybe the internet changed me. The mall is no longer the best place to do my gift shopping, and I no longer feel the least desire to set foot there. I suspect my kids miss those days, but I haven’t asked because I just don’t want to go there. If they read this post, I hope they won’t tell me how much they miss those days.
Now, the internet is my friend. Instead of letting kids watch TV commercials to get gift ideas, we can browse the WORLD. We can check reviews to make sure it’s as great as it the packaging makes it look. We can find the best price anywhere on the best idea ever, and we can probably get free shipping with no sales tax.
This is great, since I am potentially shopping for a much bigger crowd now than ever before. Did I say 42 gifts? That was just one apiece from Dad and Mom to each child back when we had 6 kids, and one to each sib from the kids. That doesn’t begin to consider the fact that I’m the oldest of 14 children and Perry is the oldest of 6. I now have 10 children and something in the vicinity of 25 nieces and nephews, and we belong to a small, close knit church where most of the members exchange gifts.
How do I shop for a crowd? We have done many things to simplify gift giving in large families:
- Shop early and shop online. If you’re prone to stress at this time of year, do everything you can to avoid the last minute crush. The longer your list is, the sooner you should start. A little stress early in the game will help you avoid a lot of stress later on.
- Give the same gifts within certain groups. Many loved ones receive gifts that are either similarly themed or identical: a custom designed calendar with family photos and birthdays (Costco had the best quality for the best price), homemade goodies, framed family portraits, or handcrafted items. This alone can simplify things immensely.
- Use your resources. My husband works at Vision Forum, which makes it especially easy for us to choose and buy gifts there for our loved ones. You probably have special access to something that would make a great gift for others in different circumstances.
- Arrange a gift exchange. We do this often for children with their cousins and sometimes for the adults in the extended family. In a large group of children with a wide range of ages, it can be helpful to divide the children into 2 age groups, so children can choose a gift for someone in their own age range.
- Give or contribute to a group gift or a family gift. We did this for our own children more than once. Since they buy gifts for each other and receive from others outside the household, they still received many gifts but shared one big gift from me and hubby. For extended family, we often give just one gift per household rather than one for each person.
- Let go. Realize that you are not obligated to buy a gift for everyone you interact with or even everyone who gives you a gift. Don’t feel guilty if they give you a gift and you don’t have one in return. Just offer genuine thanks. Like the gifts we receive from God, a Christmas gift is free, not something you earn with a gift of your own.
- Eat a lot of chocolate. Or do whatever helps you unwind. Try not to be a scrooge like I am.
I won’t say that Christmas shopping is stress free, but I will say that I feel a lot more sane than some of the people I see in WalMart this time of year.
The rest of the 4 Moms are buying gifts too:
Upcoming topics for 4 Moms:
- December 22 – Q&A
- December 29 - How to handle all those incoming gifts
Recent topics:
- December 1 - 4 Moms: preparing children to share holidays with unbelieving family
- November 24 - 4 Moms: A roundup of thankful posts from the past
- November 17 - 4 Moms: Vehicles for the large family
- November 10 - 4 Moms: Large Family Food Storage
About 4 Moms, including a complete list of all past topics
Related posts:
Ah! Ha ha ha ha!! I am laughing out loud at the “eat a lot of chocolate!” I think it helps, too! A Mocha Moolatte makes everything just a little better for me!
Your post reminds me of my youth. My dad is one of 13 children and Grandma/Grandpa felt that each child/spouse/grandchild needed Christmas gifts. She shopped ALL year long. Upstairs, she had 13 clothes baskets labeled with each of her kids names. She would then pick up little things along the way and drop into each clothes basket. On Christmas, she would bring down each basket and part of the fun is deciphering which gift(s) in the clothes basket belonged to you! Nothing was wrapped or labeled. And boy, I wouldn’t trade that memory for anything! Thanks for the trip down memory lane with a large family to shop for and Happy Holidays to you and yours!
In regards to bullet point #1, WHY, OH WHY didn’t you present your tips on the enevitable stressful Christmas shopping earlier WHEN THERE WAS STILL TIME to save some organizationally challenged person like myself? Ah hem. Excuse the outburst. It’s just the nervous, crazy mother I become 10 DAYS BEFORE CHRISTMAS. Don’t worry, I’ll be alright… it will all be over soon… and then I will “shop early and shop online.” Starting in January. My evil plan will be to “let go” and “eat chocolate” by December 1, 2012. My peace of mind is only 11 months away. Wa-haa, ha, ha, haa.
we ONLY have 7 kids right now and we have done the drag everyone out to shop thing, and no you can’t have your coat to go to the van no matter if you are cold or it’s snowing lol! Are you guys still in Ohio? We live in the cincinnati area! We have tried many things over the years. We are the oldest children in our families so when we got married at 21y and had the first grandbaby the next year he made out like a bandit! He was the only grand baby for 3y so he would have like 5-10 things from us, this included socks, underwear and pjs lol. At the grandparents though he would get 30+ AT EACH! They have scaled back some now since we have 7 and they have other grand kids but chhritmas is crazy and trying to keep the focus on others and Jesus is not always easy. And don’t get me started on Santa! My 6y old daughter, last year told a little girl that Santa was DEAD! still trying to live that down. lol
Mmmmm… chocolate is the answer to so many problems, isn’t it??!
I mentioned this on Smockity, but we do like trips rather than gifts. It’s more memorable and it’s not something you have to find storage space for!
“The mall”?? — my younger children don’t even realize such a place exists.
And we’re all happier for it!
I have to admit that when we got pregnant with our second (when our first was 7 months old…and I was almost 3 months along) we decided to start living like a big family. So this year (they are 1 and 2) is really the first year they are getting gifts from mom and dad. They each get one gift. We also are not giving gifts to our families except for some baked goodies. We do buy for my two nieces (our only nieces/nephews so far) and we exchange names between kiddos in my husbands extended family. So far this is working AWESOME!
One big challenge this year was starting to really think about what we want our kids to remember about Christmas and we absolutely didn’t want it to be about presents or for their faith to get muddled or confusing with ideas of Santa, elves, and gifts being most important. So we took our Christmas budget leftover (about $150) and donated through Compassion International/Gospel for Asia/Samaritan’s Purse. I am so happy with how stress free this time of year has become and for our family it has really turned from “what will I get” (for me and hubby) into “what can we give”.
Since making these choices we have also chosen to put together a food basket for a needy family in our area and donate toys through a program here that gives toys to kids in foster care. It has really made me start to enjoy Christmas (which I have always hated b/c it was all about gifts growing up). I think these are great ideas, but I would also add giving to others as an alternative to buying stuff for the people we know.