4 Moms: First weeks with a new baby

4moms35kids What do your first few weeks look like with a new baby?  If your house is anything like mine, it’s not always a pretty sight.  We’re all excited to meet the little one, Mom is out of commission, and all are more than a little distracted.  Household chores don’t get done, standards of obedience begin to slip, and the combination of exitement and distraction results in something that feels a little like the day after Christmas or coming home from a vacation: tired, grumpy people everywhere you look.

While Mom rests and works to agree on a new schedule with the baby, the rest of the household tries to adjust to a less involved Mom for the time being.  Then just as things seem to be slipping into a new sort of normal, it all changes and we start over again.

Sound familiar?

Here’s my advice: relax.  Go with it.  Prioritize.  

Let the clingy little ones crawl up on the bed with you and the baby for as long as you can stand the jiggling, then thank them for keeping you company and kindly send them on a new mission.

Do what you must, not what you can.  Don’t push yourself to jump back in and do everything you think you can do, just because you feel great now.  You’ll pay for it in a few weeks when everyone quite reasonably expects you to be recovered and you’re actually an exhausted emotional wreck because you didn’t rest when they told you to.  Rest is as necessary for your mind as for your body.

Ask for help with dishes and laundry, but let the other housekeeping slide as much as necessary if you don’t have older children or other help to keep it up.

Let the kids watch DVDs if it helps you get the rest you need.  Try to have some good ones on hand, and discuss them afterward to assuage the guilt of using your TV as a babysitter.

What do those first few weeks look like in your house?  How do you manage the adjustment period?

See what the other moms say:

Upcoming topics for 4 Moms:

  • September 6 – Q&A
  • September 13 – Handling different standards between you and your husband (homeschooling, dress, etc.)

Recent topics:

About 4 Moms, including a complete list of all past topics


  1. Love the “do what you must, not what you can!”


  2. I love your list! It actually comforts me that a seasoned mama also has to let some things go while recovering 🙂
    My husband and I have been listening to the Baby Conference for the past few months and you were one of my favorite people to listen to. Listening to the conference changed our lives and now my husband is getting a reversal. Hopefully, God will bless our family with more babies 🙂 Thank you for everything you do!

  3. Really looking forward to the post 2 weeks from now! I think you’re probably going with the route of setting rules for the kids when you have different standards, but I struggle with my husband thinking that I dress too modestly. I keep telling him I’m willing to show it all to him, but why should I show it to others….it frustrates me.

  4. Also, 2 words: Postpartum Doula! (AKA, “angel sent from on high.”) So worth it in so many ways.

  5. Ha Ha! I love it! So true!

  6. This time around i had one of the easiest postpartum times. We just took things very easy and said “no” to outside activities as much as possible. Having frozen or provided meals for about 3-4 weeks, really helped. In the past I had stayed in my room more during recovery, but this time I moved to my glider in the family room. This gave me more of a presence and I could help with obedience and any problems that arose. Making sure I took my vitamins and started taking my Vitex right away helped me emotionally. I think the biggest help was my little one. He is so laid back and content. Even now at 3 months.

  7. This 4 Moms topic came along at a great time for me with a 16 day old 🙂 I find that emotionally each postpartum period is easier (no tears or mood swings) but physically harder. I find myself asking why I’m not feeling better already. I need to get over that 😉

  8. Sigh, I always feel like I need to be a little too macho in the beginning, and end up wearing myself out. Part of the problem is that I’m usually on bedrest for the final 2-3 weeks of pregnancy, and just can’t WAIT to jump up and re-engage.

    Expecting #5 this week or next, and hoping to be smarter this time!

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