I just dropped a piece of food on the floor, and here is a reenactment of the decision-making process that followed:
“Oops. Should I pick that up?”
Reasons I should leave it:
- Was it the last delicious one? No.
- Will it stink, melt, or otherwise make an increasing mess if I leave it? No..
- Did it land in a place where I can easily reach it once I actually bend all the way down to the floor? No.
- Is it in an obvious place, where others will see it and know that I dropped it and left it? No.
- Does being in my third trimester make a good excuse for leaving it? Of course, silly.
- Will anyone but God and I ever know if I leave it? No.
Reasons I should pick it up:
- Will the dog or another pet find and eat it? No, since our last remaining dog disappeared a month ago.
- Will somebody be sweeping this floor soon, and did it land in a place where the broom-wielder is likely to find it? No.
- Is there a kid nearby that could pick it up for me? No.
- Can I convince myself that I’m not entirely sure I actually dropped it, since I can’t see it from where I’m standing? No.
- Will God cut me slack because I’m 9 months pregnant? Not if I can still paint my own toenails.
As you can clearly see, the reasons to leave it outweighed the reasons to pick it up. The chili-cheese corn chip is still under the front edge of the fridge. Ok, ok, I’m picking it up…by