I’m having a bad day. Parker broke my Pyrex 9×13 with a lid. I used it *every* day. I think it was a wedding gift. I just ate an entire chocolate bar, and I don’t feel better yet.
But that was Saturday – I’m only mentioning it now because my success at repressing the trauma has ended. I’m feeling the loss today much more than when I heard the ominous crash two days ago. I miss my dish. I don’t want a new one; I want the old one.
And now two days later, another precious kitchen artifact is lost, which may explain why the trauma from the earlier loss broke through my dam of repression.
Today, I can’t find the lid to my 8 quart Tupperware bowl. This isn’t just any bowl. It’s the bowl that my friend brought to me the day after Megan was born, 14 years ago. She had filled the enormous bowl with a giant batch of pasta salad and presented it to me with a laugh. We now had four children. This, she said, was our official induction into Large Family Status. Now, we needed a bowl like this.
At the time, I thought the bowl was hilariously oversized, but I kept it.
And I used it.
For 14 years.
Over the last 5 or 6 years, we have used it daily. It’s the only thing big enough to hold pancake batter, biscuit dough, sausage balls, or apple pie filling for our crew. Sometimes we use it as mixing bowl, and sometimes we snap the lid on it to store food. Sometimes we use it three or four times a day. At least twice a week, I use it to make artisan bread, using half of the dough right away and storing the second half in the fridge for the following day. The entire batch won’t fit in the bowl after it rises, but half fits nicely.
But today, the lid was nowhere to be found. I don’t know how. I don’t know where. We used the bowl yesterday and twice the day before, and every day before that, but the lid is mysteriously gone. Did somebody hide it? Destroy it? Throw it away? Did the dog carry it outside and chew it into pieces the size of match heads? Will we ever know? How will I store anything over the size of a 4 quart ice cream bucket???
I ranted and raved. My head spun in circles and smoke came out my ears as we searched the house. We didn’t find it, but I regained my cool enough to realize I was making a big deal out of nothing, and I asked my kids to forgive me.
Maybe it will turn up and we’ll all laugh about how much a big blue plastic lid meant to me, but I know that if it doesn’t magically reappear in the first 3 days it’s probably gone forever.
And honestly, it’s just a lid. I still have the bowl. I could buy both if I needed to. What’s wrong with me?
Maybe losing two old pieces in two days reminded me of how time is slipping away. Before they were gone, I never thought about how long I had them, or whether I would care if I lost them. They’re just glass and plastic, and easily replaced – but once they are gone the new ones are only replacements. I can never regain what is lost.
I will never be that 20-something mom again, full of energy to face the endless days.
My kids will never be babies again. Well, the older ones won’t. Some of the little ones are babies.
Lord willing, my husband and I have many years ahead of us – but we can never regain the ones that are already past.
Lord, help me to redeem the time that remains.
See then that ye walk circumspectly, not as fools, but as wise,
Redeeming the time, because the days are evil.
Wherefore be ye not unwise, but understanding what the will of the Lord is.