4 Moms: Why we don’t always wear skirts

4moms35kids 4 Moms on clothes and silliness

 

Lately I’ve had more than one reader ask why we started wearing pants and shorts.

The short answer is, we always did.  You just see it more now.

Our policy was generally stated, “We wear mostly skirts, most of the time.”  We nearly always wore skirts when we left the house for two reasons:

  1. We wanted to make a cultural statement: Men’s fashions and women’s fashions should look distinctly different.  Until just a couple of decades ago, this meant that men and boys wore pants, while women and girls wore skirts/dresses.  We chose to show our objection to our culture’s tendency to blur gender lines by adopting fashions that were indisputably gender specific.
  2. We wanted to dress modestly, and in our opinion, skirts/dresses make that easier.  Yes, of course they can be immodest.  But it’s relatively easy to find a modest skirt or dress.  It takes a lot of work to find modest shorts or pants.

So what changed?  Everything, and nothing.

Our convictions softened.  The question as to whether pants can be feminine attire was answered long ago, and we decided to stop fighting a battle that had already been lost.  Yes, pants can be distinctly feminine.  Skinny pants on men are proof that.  Skirts can even be masculine.  Exhibit A: the kilt.

kilt

But as a wise 3yo old once told me, it’s only boy clothes in Scotland.  When they wear them here, it looks like a skirt.

I still have a very hard time finding a pair of pants that doesn’t show the entire shape of one’s bottom – which isn’t very modest – or fall down – which wouldn’t be very modest either.  If you wear pants, I would love to hear your input on finding and choosing a modest cut and style.  I have two pairs right now.  I like one because they’re fairly modest, although I don’t like way they make me look.  I like the other pair because I do like the way they make me look, but I’m not convinced they’re modest.  I feel like Paul lamenting how his spirit wars against his flesh.

Our children grew up.  Of course we still lay down some ground rules and exert influence over what our children wear, but the older and wiser they get, the more freedom they enjoy.  They are choosing to wear less skirts now, but as long as they are dressing in a way that glorifies God, we’re ok with that.

Our circumstances changed.  We used to wear pants and shorts regularly around the house, but never to town.  That was for a variety of reasons, some of which changed with our move to town.  One example: when we lived 50 miles away, a trip to town took the entire day and nearly always included a visit to Vision Forum, where we wear skirts out of respect for the convictions of others.  Now, a 15 minute trip to the grocery store doesn’t necessarily warrant a change of wardrobe.

Our habits changed.  I started exercising recently, and since I can do it in my air-conditioned home now, I don’t have to change clothes afterward, especially if I intend to exercise more later.  I also prefer not to take walks or ride a bicycle in a skirt.  And – surprise!  When I don’t wear a skirt every day, my girls are less likely to wear skirts as well.

I have to confess I have moved farther away from daily skirts than I like, and I want to go back to wearing them regularly, even if I don’t wear them every day.  It’s a balance I am still trying to find.

Do you wear skirts, pants, or a combination?


See what questions the other moms are answering today:

Comments

  1. Just found your blog and I’m really enjoying your posts. Although we are a family of only 7 (3 oldest are now grown and living out on their own), I always wanted a large family and admire those who are blessed with a quiver full.
    Regarding skirts vs. pants … I grew up in a fundamental denomination that allowed only dresses/skirts for females, thus, I am very comfortable in skirts. When I lived in SE Texas, I wore skirts more frequently than now because they were better suited for the hot, humid weather and we did not live on a farm. Now days, I live on a homestead out on the Montana prairie. It is May 4th, and we had a light snow last night. Believe me, when it’s -30 outside in January, I’m wearing pants & long handles & and insulated bibs & …
    Do I think skirts or pants are more conservative/modest? Well, skirts/dresses can be far more revealing than some pants … also some pants can be more revealing than skirts/dresses. I personally shoot for modest clothing that honors my husband’s wishes. My husband is the head of our home and my headship under Christ. Thus, I wear both pants and skirts. My husbands likes me in a modest skirt for outings that do not include a lot of physical activity. He insists I wear pants when working on the farm, hauling feed, gardening, hiking, fishing, hunting, etc. He absolutely does not want me stooping over while in a skirt/dress. He believes wearing skirt/dress while performing manual labor is akin to inviting others to “look up” my skirt and he personally does not find anything modest about skirts when performing farm chores.
    If I were married to a man who preferred skirts at all times or most of the time – I would most certainly wear them more often, regardless of the type of work I was performing. My husband is our family’s leader and I do my best to respect his position.
    I look forward to visiting your blog again.
    Blessings,
    Mrs.B

  2. Janice Grey says:

    As a little girl, I was brought up wearing pants because I lived in a farm, but I yearned to wear skirts and dresses. I got into the pants wearing habit willingly at college and university but after I trained as a teacher I started wearing skirts for the first time basically.

    I go for the classic look. Calf-length pencil skirts, pleated skirts, smart figure hugging dresses – again calf length. I finish off these with quality hosiery and black heels. I love heels. I’m also a fan of 1950s fashion.

    I never hardly wear pants. I couldn’t imagine going back to them on a regular basis.

  3. You said you were looking for suggestions on pant- I have always had luck finding a good cut for my body type at New York and Company. Finding a cut that fits your body is probably the first step in looking modest (not tight or too low) but not frumpy (baggy around hips and butt area). And they always have sales and coupons- so don’t ever buy it full price! (Try signing up for the coupons online). I think Coldwater Creek has some nice ones, too, but they are much more pricey.

    I find the skirt topics very interesting, because I have never felt comfortable in skirts. I always felt exposed. Those occasions where my mom made me wear a skirt, I could just feel the relief and comfort when I switched back in to pants! That sense has stuck with me now, mostly, so I opt to wear pants. I know it’s not as feminine, but I dress modestly and do like to accessorize with nice earrings or curled hair to make it more so.

  4. I wear skirts most of the time because I like the way they look and to me, they are more comfortable than restrictive jeans or pants. I only put on pants if it’s really cold outside, or if I’m going to do something where a skirt would not be practical. Sometimes I “compromise” by wearing a skort. :)

    All that said, I don’t do this because I think it makes me more Godly; I do it because it works for me. After all, clothes are on the outside; it’s what’s *inside* that counts!

    Have a great day!

  5. I do wear dresses and skirts. My daughter wears both dresses and also cute Land’s End dresses with leggings underneath. I am NOT a 7th Day Adventist, but I stumbled upon these photos recently. I didn’t realize this “reform dress” ever existed, but it is pretty weird: http://www.remnantraiment.com/subpages/history.htm
    You can see how oftentimes even putting pants under dresses makes a woman look more “manly.”

    • Ann: The website was interesting…strange..but interesting. Maybe even a little creepy.

      • Elaine, I agree, SDA stuff is very creepy. I didn’t read it all, but I think it was Ellen White, their “prophetess,” that coined the term “reform dress.” I was searching the net to find more info on this style of dress throughout history, but so far, I haven’t found it. Like I mentioned, I never realized this style of dressing was in fashion at one time. :)

      • It is creepy. My favorite part is where they use photos (that clearly came from Google images) in which the male and female subjects are very obviously intentionally dressing alike–in some cases, identically–in order to try to prove their point. It doesn’t really work….

  6. I think modesty resides in the heart and attitude as much as it does in the clothing. I’m going to try to teach my daughter to consider her objective when she dresses: is she trying to look put together or get too much attention?

    I wear mostly pants now, although I used to wear skirts about 50% of the time or more when I had an office job. I wanted to remind all of the men that I worked with that I wasn’t just another guy. I’m home now with two children 3 and under, and skirts are hard for me right now. For one thing, I need pockets for my keys. And there’s the modesty issue of crawling in and out of the SUV to buckle them. But I’m going to try to incorporate more skirts/dresses into my wardrobe this winter with tights and boots. Overall, my husband and I are trying to take greater pains to make sure when we go out we look presentable, not like we just rolled out of bed. (Not that I was ever one of those people who wore yoga pants to college class.)

    For good measure, I asked my husband for his input and he told me that he’s always found skirts much more distracting than jeans. That being said, I don’t like the jeans with too much spandex… they hug too many curves.

  7. Jacqueline says:

    I’ve become an all-skirts girl. I’ve found ways to make it work modestly and stylishly for everything I do, though sometimes it does take a bit of effort to figure out the best solution. I like the consistency and not having to worry about when to wear a skirt and when not. Truth be told, I don’t feel modest in pants anymore either, particularly since reading a (secular) article about the emphasis of the fashion industry on a woman’s backside and crotch. I agree with the comment above about showing you’re a woman and a lady at the same time, but feel more comfortable doing that in a skirt.

  8. Kim Blight says:

    Tight enough to show you’re a woman, and loose enough to show you’re a lady.

    • Kim, I have always liked that saying. I think it’s a good summary of how we try to dress. We don’t want to hide behind our clothes as if we were ashamed of how God made us, but we also don’t want to lead our Christian brothers – or anyone else – into sin.

  9. We are a skirt wearing family. I grew up wearing pants except for church. As my husband and I progressed in our walks, I became more modest and subsequently started wearing skirts for the same reasons, modesty and feminine attire. My daughters wear skirts except for winter sports, camping etc. We stress modesty in all things and my girls like the way they dress. We belong to a homeschool co-op where we are the ONLY girls who wear skirts but my girls don’t really care. We did have to nip 1 thing in the bud though. One of my son’s got the impression that Christian women never wore pants. So in his black and white mind, pants on a woman meant not a Christian. Yikes… we corrected that thinking REAL fast….lol…

    PS: love your blog! You have a beautiful family.

  10. My preferred style is a pair of leggings underneath dresses or just above knee length skirts, although I do own two pairs of jeans, which are way better when it is cold outside. No particular religious/modesty related reason, I just find them more comfortable, and I always have. Even from being a little girl I preferred dresses. Looking back at old photos, I had some of the ugliest dresses I had ever seen, but I loved them so much.

    As for my kids, most of them dont wear skirts all the time, except for the 5 year old who will only wear dresses-they wear a mixture of both. I prefer to put little girls in pants when they are doing something active like playing outside-its easier for them to ride bikes in and wont show off their underwear if they climb trees or do handstands. I also prefer to stay away from long floaty dresses with babies past a certain age, as cute as they may be, because it seems to be easier for them to learn to crawl in pants. (Im interested to know whether anyone who does dress their children in skirts only, has ever noticed any difference between crawling in their sons and their daughters as babies?)

    I dont have much of a rule on modesty, other than that clothes need to be age appropriate and not too adult, they must be appropriate for the situation they are in, and cant have anything written on it that gives out a bad message. I have seen some absolutely disgusting tshirts in children’s sizes, whether its sexual innuendo which is supposed to be “funny” to have a child wear or something like “Im too pretty to do homework” which gives out a bad message that little girls should focus on being beautiful instead of being intelligent or a nice person.

  11. Years ago I read in some survey results that when men were shown pictures of women wearing pants, almost all the men confessed that their eyes went straight to the woman’s crotch. I always felt a bit weird wearing pants after reading that but continued to wear my blue jeans every day. Then 2 years ago my husband asked my daughter and I to switch to skirts and dresses. My daughter (now 12) adapted easily and prefers them. (Except when in the middle of a big group of jeans and shorts wearing girls and she feels left out.) I hated it at first but after awhile got used to it and now actually prefer skirts/dresses. I like rebelling against culture. :) And I’ve noticed that I get treated a lot more considerately out in public.

  12. I’ve gone both ways: I grew up wearing mostly pants, with dresses for Church and school (I attended a Baptist private school for 3 years). In 2003, I started wearing only skirts/ dresses. In late 2006, I added pants back into my wardrobe. After marrying (2007), I pretty much only wore dresses/ skirts for church.

    In the last few months, my husband has expressed a desire that we all (we have 3 children, 5 and under) dress nicer/ more modestly whenever we leave the house, not just for church. He wants us to be more in contrast with our crazy society (he grew a beard, which I like =) ). For us, modest means dresses or skirts for me and our daughter and nice clothes for my husband and the boys. I must say that I’ve enjoyed going back to more dresses/ skirts.

    Now, I understand that “woman’s clothing” includes pants (I like your skinny jeans analogy!) and “man’s clothing” includes skirts, er, kilts. ;-) I think your 3 yo nailed it on the head: context is everything! In our society, skirts are distinctly feminine… for now. I hate to think what the future holds… *shudder*

    Incidentally, I googled Punjabis. The clothing is beautiful! So flowing and soft looking. If I wore something like that, I’d be mistaken for an Indian woman… again. ;-) Or Greek, or Egyptian, or… Anyway, I’m part Native American, not Indian. =)

    Thanks for this post, Kim. I was wondering about all the pants/ shorts. =)

  13. Amanda Wells says:

    Thanks for posting this, Kim. I really was just curious. My mom and grandma were avid gardeners and thus always wore pants, except to church… I remember in (public) high school my mother marveling that I voluntarily wore skirts to school. I just always liked them and after a couple of kids realized that skirts were more flexible as my weight fluctuated. I do think that they are inherently more modest, just because the feminine curves are covered more discreetly, but I agree with you — of course there are modest pants available. I really like the idea of making a cultural statement, and my little girl wears both modest pants and skirts/dresses.
    Thanks for your blog, you are a great encouragement to me and I love the way you present “real” life in such a cheerful way. What a blessing!

  14. I’ve learned to like skirts, after wearing only pants for my whole life until I was thirty. (Leaving a link to a post I wrote about that with my name. :-) )

    The part about jeans that don’t show the shape of the bottom? Well, some girls are just too well-built for pants, is all. ;-) I’m kidding, a little bit. Individual bodies vary so much that some clothes are more appropriate for some builds, is all. If were a pretty young thing, instead of a dumpy old thing, I’d probably opt for more skirts and jeans with tunics, rather than shorter shirts. When I *was* a pretty young thing, nobody taught me any better, and I’m not sure it would have helped if they’d tried.

    And no skinny jeans. Even if I was skinny. Which I am not. I do make sure that my shirts are long with tighter (still not tight) jeans when I wear them, but I’ve become more comfortable in a skirt for most activities.

  15. It all seems to be a matter of comfort. If one is comfortable in pants/jeans, one will find a way to make them warm and modest. If one is comfortable in skirts/dresses, one will find a way to make them warm and modest. We grew up needing to consider the preferences of others outside the home. Women in pants were considered immodest. So therefore, so as not to be the Ugly American Abroad we dressed appropriately. Being back in the United States hasn’t really changed that premise. I hear older Americans bemoaning the lack of appropriate dressing in the younger generations and I have to agree. If flesh is hanging out of your clothing, that’s not appropriate. Jeans and shorts at the Kennedy Center is not appropriate. Flip flops everywhere is not appropriate. I really don’t think it’s unreasonable to consider where you are going and with whom you will be when getting dressed. Throwing on a stylish scarf and actual shoes or sandals and dashing to the store can take shorts and a tank top to a more decent level. I have seen some immodest dress dressing and immodest skirt outfits. I have also seen immodest pants and jeans.
    A woman may draw attention in a simple dress and sandals because she isn’t wearing low riding jeans and a t shirt that would fit an 8 year old. The amount of flesh one covers seems to be the modest or immodest common determinator. And then perhaps a glance at a style magazine because modesty does not equal frumpy.

  16. For me, it’s not just the struggle to find pants that are loose enough, per se, but also that are tight enough. I’ve observed that with those of us who are trying to wear modest pants, there’s a tendency to go with loose pants that fall into/creep up the crevice in the back. That, in my mind, is more immodest than tightness.

    So I think it’s a balance: tight enough not to give more detail than necessary, and loose enough not to give a high-resolution silhouette.

  17. My children tend to prefer skirts. The lament is: “But, Mom! I want to wear a dress!” I grew up in a home where skirts were mandatory, even over pants when exercising. VERY strict. I have come to adulthood with a feeling that that was not scriptural. We are convicted in our home to dress in a way that is modest. That means, where is my heart on this? So if I am wearing this outfit to draw attention to myself, my beauty, my creativity, my attractiveness, it isn’t appropriate. If I am wearing it because it honors God, and to honor him by being clean, feminine, lovely, and gracious, then it is ok. I am lax on specifics so long as their heart is correct. I do a check on two things though: Coverage, and fit. That’s it. :) I tend to be a pants wearer around home, personally (frankly it is much easier to do the ups and downs of Mommyhood in pants.) But when I go out, I find myself gravitating towards skirts, mostly because a beautiful A-line hides a multitude of sins as far as the way my body has changed, and I want to leave the house looking clean and put together, not lumpy and sloppy. As far as my 3 girls though, this hasn’t been an issue yet, mostly because my oldest is 7. I haven’t met the teen years yet!

  18. We wear both, I prefer long skirts, but fining nice one’s can be hard, I do wear shorts and pants as well, I feel that if they are not tight they are generally modest, I also prefer my tops to be long and that probably helps. My girls also wear a mix, my 12 year old doesn’t like shorts, so she wears capri’s or skirts. I am battling the modesty issue, partly because I went thru a rebelling stage as well and was quite immodest, now I don’t always think when I get dress, but my kids will call me on it.

  19. I have a great alternative to feel feminine without skirts. A Salwar Chemise, or sometimes know as Punjabis, you know those Indian pants and tunic top. They are beautiful, modest like really modest. They come in all sorts of styles from plain to sparkle. The pants are made huge at the top so they sort of ruffle up when you put them on terrific in hiding your behind. They come with a scarf too, handy if you feel convicted about head coverings in church. I love them. I tend to travel in them because they are ultra comfy, like wearing your pajamas comfy. Oh I’m not from the subcontinent of India nor are my ancestors, and I get compliments on how pretty I look when I wear them out. I so wish we could get fashion to pick up on these! You can’t go wrong for comfort, easy to move in, modest, feminine, pretty. And with the internet they are pretty easy to find these days. Also the construction is so simple if you have modest sewing skills you can easily make one, using the one you have as a pattern.

    • Thanks for the tip. I searched google and it looks like they’re also known as harem pants, which is more familiar to me. I do think they’re cute, but my 9yo reading over my shoulder says they look kinda dorky. I’m not sure I can handle the peer pressure. I wonder what my teens would think? :)

  20. I have wondered about this, too, but couldn’t figure out how to ask without sounding rude. Anyway, thank you for explaining. I have been wearing mostly skirts/dresses for about 18 months, for the same reasons you listed. I have a very difficult time finding pants that fit comfortably and find that skirts are much more comfortable. I do wear pants on occasion and I choose pajamas over gowns at night. In the winter, I found some leggings that help keep me warm, along with boots or knee-socks. I’ve noticed that I am more careful about my posture when I’m wearing a dress or skirt, although they are not necessarily dressy clothes! My daughter wears mostly pants because she is a very active little girl, trying to keep up with her brothers! She enjoys skirts and dresses and I hope they will be her main choice as she grows up. She already rejects pants that are too tight or too short and shirts with spaghetti straps, etc . . .on her own. Here’s hoping there will be very few battles in the future!

  21. I’ve never cared much for how I look (as a teen I wore jeans and polo shirts and a sweatshirt over the top if I was cold) but I’ve always cared about modesty. You can find shorts and pants that are not tight and still be modest but it can be hard. We pass up a lot of clothes for the sake of modesty. I also wear longer shirts to cover the bottom region so that its harder to see the form. My girls do the same. My husband believes shirts should be tucked in so my son tends to do so but the girls leave their shirts down. Both of my teens have very different shapes so we have to try everything on and it has to pass the mom test before it goes home. Sometimes we go home with nothing. If pants have to be too large in the waist to fit in the bottom then I tack them in the waist to fit. I had to do that a lot when they were little. Anyway, where there is a will there is a way. I personally have never cared for dresses or skirts so I’ve had to find a way to be modest in pants and shorts.

  22. Combination , my biggest struggle is in finding shoes that are comfortable with skirts . I know they are out there it’s just finding the cash and time to get a pair I lack.

  23. Elizabeth says:

    I appreciate your honesty Kim. I constantly struggle with the looking good part. I love the reference to lamenting Paul. :) In the summer I can wear a cute skirt and look feminine without drawing too much attention. But in the winter with my size it seems that manufacturers seem to assume if you are small you want to show it off. It is a constant struggle and then you find the perfect pair and they wear out!!! Skirts are difficult for me in the winter because of the cold. I have a long dress wool dress coat that I keep on at church I am so cold. :) So pants are very nice in the winter. Have you considered cargo pants? I have a pair of eddie bauer and title nine ones both bought at goodwill naturally. My husband likes them and they tend to be a bit looser than jeans.

  24. I prefer skirts to pants, but it gets very cold here so I mostly just wear skirts all summer and then to church several times a week during the winter. My husband actually prefers it when I wear pants, but we have different modesty standards so I usually wear pants that are looser than he likes :)

  25. HeatherHH says:

    Skirts here. With the exception of feminine colored snow pants for snow play. For us, we are concerned about modesty and being distinctly feminine. We believe loose, flowing pants can be modest, feminine, and attractive. But, we rarely see anything that we are personally comfortable with on all three standards. So, we’ve chosen to just stick with dresses/skirts. And honestly, in a culture that pushes to ignore any differences between the genders, we see a plus in being a constant visual reminder that we believe there are differences. And, the only families we know who wear dresses/skirts for girls/women live halfway across the country.

  26. I wear skirts/dresses. In the winter, I add heavy stockings or leggings with boots if I’m going to be outside. One adult daughter dresses like me, the other wears pants often. 19 yr old daughter at home says she will wear skirts/dresses, but doesn’t see anything immodest about loose pants with a top or tunic over them to cover the butt. I wear skirts because I feel a modest skirt is more modest than any type of pants. I live on a farm and find very few activities are limited by my choice (I swim in coulottes). They are comfortable and feminine (especially in this gender confused culture). The Bible is pretty clear that a woman’s body is made for her husband’s pleasure, so my husband says he wants to keep that all to himself :)

  27. I would love to wear more skirts..but I’m on a tight budget and really only ever shop at thrift stores. Since we live in a tiny rural town, the thrift stores close to us don’t usually have lots to choose from. I can never seem to find any skirts that fit well and allow me to move easily enough to be taking care of my 4 kids (ages 5 yrs down to 9 months.) Plus, it’s just cold in winter here in Canada and I’m not sure how to stay warm enough without looking frumpy.

  28. Love your down to earth honesty, Kim. We wear a combination though I myself and younger daughters do wear skirts most of the time (not when exercising or very cold!:) When we go shopping/thrifting, skirts are what we buy. But my almost grown daughters were not raised to wear skirts exclusively and so feel just as comfy in loose pants/jeans. We/they are particular about the pants (our personal preferences are no rips, no low riders, no flashy pockets that draw attention). And we dont wear shorts. None of us wear anything above the knee. But like you, I have noticed the younger girls dress the way I do. And if they grow up wearing skirts I believe the modest and more feminine skirt- wearing will be easier on them. All personal preferences…modesty is such a broad topic :) And personal one.

  29. We’re skirt wearers here. :-) Right now it’s not something I can ever see us changing our convictions on but there was a time when I couldn’t have imagined us dressing this way so I’ll never say never. As my oldest daughter gets older I’m sure we’ll have to pick and choose our battles.

  30. I’ve a mostly skirts person for the original reasons you listed but I have been able to find some cute and modest Capri pants. I also have some nice dress pants that are either modest themselves (Sorta flare out from theleg) our that I can pair with longer style tops. Sadly enough, I’ve had success finding really nice tops in the jr’s section of local consignment shop. The tops are actually marketed as dresses! but when paired with pants or even Jeans are nice outfits.

  31. Aileen Johnston says:

    I think I probably dress quite immodestly compared to your family and most of your readers but certainly dress a lot more modestly than most girls in my home town. I have never understood why in the middle of winter girls want to go out wearing hardly anything! Anyway I wear a mixture of both trousers (pants) and skirts/dresses. For work I tend to wear dresses or skirts as I work in quite a male dominated environment so it is nice to show that I am a girl! If I am going to a wedding or a party then I will aways wear a dress or skirt to that and when I go to church I always wear a skirt or dress. I will admit it has went in roundabouts about what I wear to church as when I was younger I was forced to wear a dress so when I got older and was allowed to make the choice I rebelled and wore trousers. Now I am well past the rebellion so have went back to skirts! When I am at home and running around with my toddler it does tend to be jeans or leggings with tunics. I will say I tend to wear longer tops with my trousers to cover my belly (not the prettiest of sights after pregnancy) and my bottom. My problem is tops as I find them very low cut, in winters its fine as I can wear layers but during the summer I find it difficult as I dont like too high a neckline but on the same vein I don’t want to be exposing my cleavage!

    • I’m pretty much the same as you, pants/skirts-wise. I reason I am replying to your comment, though, is I also have the same struggle with shirts and have come up with a workable solution. It does take a smidgen of sewing though. I buy the spaghetti-strap tanktops/camisoles, and a pack of bra-style hooks and eyes. I sewed eyes to all my bra straps at a modest height, then sewed the hooks to the spot were the straps of the tank attach to body of the tank. Then to avoid extra heat/bulk, I cropped the tanks and sewed elastic to the bottom, so it doesn’t rise up. I actually have found that most tanks are long enough that you can take the bottom that you cut off and put hooks on the hem side and elastic on the cut side, you can get two modesty tops out of one tank. Low-cut shirts and these cropped tanks have been AWESOME for nursing babies too. Anyways, hope this helps!

  32. We let our children make up their own minds once they reach mid teens. I wear pants usually but shorts and skirts in the summer and also sometimes dresses. I’m more concerned about my child’s heart for Jesus and heart for others that there outward appearance. I think Jesus would be too :)

  33. I wear jeans outside the house because that’s what my husband prefers and I submit to him as he is who I want to please . I have some things he likes : yoga pants for example , that are ONLY for around the house as he likes the way they look but we’re not comfortable with those being worn in public. He likes skirts but dislikes long ones and feels that jeans are the more modest option for chasing after 4 kids 5 and under :)

  34. Meredith_in_Aus says:

    I mainly wear pants (umm, actually, that would be mostly jeans) at home and for errands. I just feel comfortable in them. I like to wear skirts ‘out’ and with my husband. When we first got married, he asked me why I didn’t wear skirts. It never really occurred to me that they looked more feminine and how much he would appreciate it. But he does think that and so, I do. :)

  35. Kim, I really appreciate your honesty about a changing conviction. We’ve gone through this recently as well, and it’s tough to put to words our reasoning, but you did a great job. Our goal has been “feminine and modest”, like others here, and we also still feel the pull to be culture warriors. But the one guidelne we do encourage our daughters to follow is to make sure their bottoms are covered. Either with a skirt or with a tunic or long shirt. It’s the one way we feel like we can honestly say that we’ve done our best to cover ourselves and help guard our brothers’ eyes. We’re not saying “no” to jeans…just “beware and be kind”.

  36. I almost entirely LIVE in skirts through the summer because they are so comfortable and airy – at one point I thought that maybe I ought to switch over completely and then winter hit. I live in northeastern BC where we have REAL winter. In the end, I find that I tend to wear pants almost all winter and skirts in the summer. I love leggings with boots under a skirt or tunic type dress – the best of both worlds in my opinion, modest and very comfortable all year round. Aside from the most recent pair of leggings I bought that refuse to stay up. Grr..

  37. I find that pants and shorts seem way more modest for little girls than dresses. Girls in dresses still have to wear shorts under them, unless your girls were waaay less active than mine. :-)

    • I completely agree. I make my daughters wear shorts under their dresses even to church because even six year old little girls forget that when they sit cross-legged their privates can show! And skirts/dresses at the park? I just cringe. I don’t like it.

  38. We wear both. I like the wide leg dress pants. They tend to not hug my curves, plus they are comfortable :)

  39. Michelle W. says:

    I wear primarily skirts/dresses–because it’s my choice and I’m most comfortable in them. My oldest daughter wore mostly skirts/dresses until she married, now she only wears a skirt/dress on special occasions [in other words, rarely ;-) ]. Our younger daughters wear a mix. They have several pair of capri length pants that are a looser fit than any jeans that we’ve found and they pair them with longer cut tops or polo shirts. But they also wear a fair share of skirts/dresses. They are quite a bit more active than our older daughter was at the same age and we find that the pants are, in truth, more modest when they’re going to be jumping/running/biking.
    Most of the women I know and associate with wear mainly pants, but I think that everyone is so used to seeing me in my dresses/skirts that they don’t give it a second thought.

  40. Sara Elizabeth says:

    I was raised wearing pants all the time but have always preferred skirts for comfort and femininity. I only recently became convicted about modesty and I realized I was caring too much about how I looked and how others saw me. I then began to wear skirts more often starting early this summer and as I bought more skirts I slowly transitioned out my pants for the most part. I do not have a set conviction to never wear pants again, but I find skirts prettier, more comfortable and as you pointed out in your blog distinctly female. I have no plans to get rid of my last pair or two just in case I have a circumstance that calls for pants but the one time I wore pants in the last eight or so weeks it felt strange; like I was wearing underclothes. That really solidified my personal convictions towards modesty.

  41. We wear both. Our goal is femine and modest. As far as jeans, I do like to wear denim trousers. They tend to be more modest without making me look frumpy!

  42. Skirts, unless we go winter hiking in Alaska, then snow pants. :)

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