simple hit counter

From the mailbag: Church with 5 little ones

Free nursing cover, carseat cover, sling, and more!: Just pay shipping

My recent Q&A post included the topic of keeping children quiet in church, and elicited the following comment from a reader.  Maybe you understand how she feels.

Oh, Kim! I am feeling so defeated about having our littles in church! We have worked so hard with our 4-year-old and our 2-year-old and they do pretty well. We have great conversations (esp with the 4-year-old) about the things we learn in church. We have a 12-month-old foster-adopt son who is getting to a challenging stage (vocally and “sitting still”-wise), and because we cannot use Biblical, physical forms of discipline with him, we are struggling with how to train him.

Add to that: our lives have just been turned upside down–we found out we will have his newborn sister placed with us (surprise!), and I am 4 days postpartum with our third bio-baby. We will have five kids, and the oldest is 4!

Even if my husband is always with us in the pew, we don’t have enough arms between us to hold all the babies, let alone train them! I am especially discouraged because in a few weeks, once the youngest can be out in public, we have to begin the church-hunting process in this not-child-friendly city. What will people think when we walk through a church’s front door and cause chaos in the sanctuary? Back when we only had the older two, we once visited a church that asked us to sit in the foyer seating area because children were not allowed in the sanctuary for “videotaping” purposes.

I guess I realize I am overwhelmed with lots of things, and worried about being rejected by believers when we most need the support of a good church.

Karen,

I hardly know where to start.  I want to offer a dozen pieces of advice and encouragement all at once, along with a shoulder to cry on.  I’m just beginning to come out of the post-partum fog, so let me remind you of one huge thing: Even though your concerns and challenges are very real, everything looks and feels even worse now while you are riding that rollercoaster of hormones and sleep deprivation.  If you can just take the next few months one day at a time, you’ll be able to look back and breathe a sigh of relief, realizing that it wasn’t quite as bad as you thought it would be.  I know this because I was a basket-case when we had a wedding, a move, and a baby all in short order, closely followed by Thanksgiving, Christmas, and hordes of happy houseguests.  It was overwhelming to me at the time, but looking back I can only blame hormone-induced stress.  It was a loud and busy time, and everyone but me was having fun.

But you do have your hands full, and they’re getting fuller.  You are overflowing with blessings, and overflowing is stressful.

It sounds like your biggest concern is finding a church that will love and accept your family.  I don’t know where you live or what your doctrine is, but I strongly recommend you look for a church on the NCFIC.org site (National Center for Family-Integrated Churches).  These are congregations from many denominations that encourage families to keep their children in worship with them, so they will joyfully tolerate the disruptions as you train your children to sit quietly.  While they may be able to point you to a nursing room or cry-room, nobody will give you dirty looks for having your children sit with you, or suggest that you send them to children’s church.

If you don’t find a suitable listing in your area, you might want to ask around on Facebook (or I’ll ask here for you) and see if anyone knows of congregations in your area that are not listed on the NCFIC site.

I understand that corporal discipline is not an option with your 12 month old, but there are other ways to teach him.

  • Many families recommend regular daily times of quiet listening as practice for worship.
  • During church, when my little ones get too noisy and I take them out, I don’t entertain them.  I make sure being taken out is less interesting than sitting in church.  For example, quiet toys might be allowed in church but not when you take the baby out of the sanctuary.  Certainly don’t reward him with a trip to the nursery if you are trying to teach him to sit quietly in church.
  • A firm vocal command can be effective.  Just tell him “no,” softly but firmly with no hint of a smile.  If he smiles in response, don’t let yourself smile back.
  • Be self conscious not to encourage the baby to squeal and play.  Funny faces may keep his attention, but who do you blame when he laughs and squeals?  My babies are quieter when they face forward rather than facing me.
  • If you can work it, a nap is the perfect way to keep a baby quiet during church.  Yes, they might fuss a little before they doze off but then you are rewarded with an hour of sweet silence.  I don’t know about your schedule, but for us worship falls squarely into naptime for our babies.

When it comes to the mechanics of worshiping with lots of little ones, we have found two seating techniques that were very helpful when we had lots of little ones:

  1. You and your husband resist the temptation to sit right next to each other, placing troublemakers between you and on your laps.  With 2 children between you, one in each lap, one on the far left and another on the far right, you can have 6 children sitting on or next to you and your husband.  While it doesn’t solve every problem, keeping them within easy reach does allow you to notice problems and address them promptly.
  2. If you really, really want to sit together – and I don’t blame you – try this.  I like it better than the first idea.  Rather than stretching out in one long row, have some children sit directly in front of you.  Sometimes this is more effective than having them sit next to you, because they are directly in your line of sight while you watch the pulpit.  This also allowed my husband and I to sit together while keeping an eye on 7 or 8 children – one on each lap, one to the left of us, one to the right of us, and several in front of us.  I won’t name names, but we still do this with our troublemakers and fidgeters.

Having two newborns is going to be tricky no matter what you do, but remember: moms do it all the time.  It’s called twins.  Seek out moms of twins, and get advice.  Most are glad to help.

And speaking of help: once you find a family friendly church, seek out a baby-loving teen who is willing to help you during the service.  Our girls have been known to sit with the little ones of another family when both parents are occupied with needy wee ones.

Do you have advice for Karen?  Let’s hear it in the comments.

4 Moms: How did you know you wanted/could handle a large family?

Free nursing cover, carseat cover, sling, and more!: Just pay shipping

4moms35kids 4 Moms: How did you know you wanted/could handle a large family?

Today the 4 Moms are answering a very tough question: How did you know you wanted/could handle a large family?

That’s actually two very different questions.  I’ll start with the 2nd, because it has an easy answer: I didn’t, and I couldn’t.  I would venture to say that none of us was prepared to handle a large family before we had a large family.  Most of us probably still aren’t able; we do it daily by the grace of God, not by our own strength.  As I’ve said before, if you start to feel like you can do it on your own, things are about to go downhill.

all 300x163 4 Moms: How did you know you wanted/could handle a large family?I did, however, feel reasonably confident that I would be able to handle a large family if and when God gave me one.  I was the oldest of a large family, so I had plenty of hands-on training in the field.  I could cook for a crowd, had my own housecleaning business, and probably changed more diapers as a big sister than many mothers do in their lives.  I have a strong suspicion that I was a self-centered teen who only did just what was required and rarely went the extra mile, but I am extremely grateful that my parents had high standards so that “just what was required” went a long way toward preparing me for life as a wife and mother in a large family.

268285 2253222568480 4980625 n 4 Moms: How did you know you wanted/could handle a large family?Nonetheless, as a 19yo newlywed (or as a 27yo mother of 5) I could not have been truly prepared for mothering my current crowd.  No one is.  God used our children one at a time (or 2 at a time if you have twins!) to teach us and sancify us, giving us the ability to do the job He laid before us.  I love the saying, “God does not call the equipped.  He equips the called.”  If you ever find yourself with a large family, whether you “planned” it or not, be assured that God has given you and will give you what you need to do your job.

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.   Ph. 4:13.

As to the first question, I have written a little in the past about our journey away from the birth control mentality.  At first, Perry and I agreed that 5 or 6 children would be a nice, manageable sort of family.  After 4 in 5 years, we very nearly stopped.  We were in over our heads.  Then one at a time, we found ourselves subjected to different influences that made us seriously question what was driving our desire to stop having children.  We gradually came to the conclusion that it would be a mistake on our part, a demonstration of our own selfishness, pride and lack of faith, to purposely and prematurely put an end to our childbearing years.

If you feel judged by that last sentence, let’s not even open that can of worms today.  I didn’t say it applied to everyone, and I didn’t say it doesn’t.  I said it about myself and my husband in our particular situation and state of mind.

318616 2492091100044 94819301 n 4 Moms: How did you know you wanted/could handle a large family?

When we made that decision, we weren’t convinced that we wanted or could handle 8 or 12 or 15 children, but we were becoming convinced that God knew better than we did.  If He gave us that many children, we would have our answer – and we would find joy in it.

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Jeremiah 29:11

And here we are, expecting #11.  I can’t imagine life without my last 6 children, and in October I won’t be able to imagine it without yet another.

The other moms are talking about it too:


Upcoming topics for 4 Moms:

  • June 14 - Q&A
  • June 21 - How do you keep up your energy?
  • June 28 - favorite freezer meals

Recent topics:

About 4 Moms, including a complete list of all past topics

4 Moms: Large Family Food Storage

Free nursing cover, carseat cover, sling, and more!: Just pay shipping

4moms35kids 4 Moms: Large Family Food StorageHappy Thursday, friends!  This week the 4 Moms are talking about food storage for the large family.  You may think a mom of so many girls wouldn’t know much about food storage, but let me tell you something: my girls eat like Scarlett O’Hara.  Remember when her mammy made her fill up on a huge slab of ham and assorted sides so that the boys at the dance would think she had a dainty, ladylike appetite?  Hah.  My dainty girls leave the mothers of teenaged boys gaping in awe.  We like to eat around here, and we’re not ashamed.

Not surprisingly, we go through a lot of food.  We laugh at the wee little 5 lb. bags of flour sold at the grocery store.  Really.  There’s a kid reading over my shoulder right now, and she’s giggling.  ”They’re so cute!”  Those are a single use when you’re whipping up 4 or 5 large pizzas, especially if you make breadsticks to stretch the pizza.

One reason I love to shop at Costco is because the things I buy come in convenient sizes for a big family: 25 lbs. of flour or sugar, industrial sized spice containers, gallon cans of veggies and tomato paste, 10 lbs. of carrots…you get the idea.  A bonus: with bigger packaging, we generate less trash.  Many small families generate more trash than we do because of their propensity for individual servings of prepackaged foods.

The big question is how to store these truly family-sized packages.  You don’t really want a flour canister that holds 25# sitting on your countertop, do you?

Here’s how we solve that little issue:

buckets 199x300 4 Moms: Large Family Food Storage

Since we cook so much from scratch, we don’t store mass quantities of a lot of different foods – we stick mainly to the staples, and fill in the gaps weekly or as needed.  We have buckets for flour, sugar, brown sugar, beans, rice, and wheat.  We used to have one for oats but found that they went bad too quickly.  We had a bucket of coconut oil, but transferred it to quart jars.  We also have one for cat litter, but we don’t cook with that.  Did I have you worried?

I don’t use a canister at all for flour, since it would be emptied in a single use.  That’s not my idea of convenience.  Instead, I replaced the standard bucket lids with these babies.  This is my idea of convenience!

gamma seal lids 4 Moms: Large Family Food Storage

They spin on and off with one hand.  I love them!  No fumbling for the bucket opener, or breaking nails trying to open the lid with brute strength.  Everything is color coded, too: Blue for Beans, oRange for Rice, Red for bRown sugar…hey, work with me here.  My bucket system is a work in progress.

I also try to keep my canned goods sensibly organized.

labels3 200x300 4 Moms: Large Family Food Storage

Sometimes.  But sometimes a steal of a deal on 24 jars of organic marinara sauce messes up your system.

sauce 300x199 4 Moms: Large Family Food Storage

Sometimes there’s no good excuse at all.

pantry 144x300 4 Moms: Large Family Food Storage

I’m hoping to upgrade to this very soon:

prd 79 m1 4 Moms: Large Family Food Storage

And maybe you can, too.  Watch for a giveaway!

What’s your food storage problem or solution?  Link up with us! Remember, when you link up on one of our sites, your link will automatically be added to all 4 Moms posts this week!

Please remember the linky rules:

  1. You must link to a specific relevant post on your blog.
  2. Your post must include a link to at least one of the 4 Moms.
  3. The post to which you link must be completely family friendly.

If your link is deleted, you probably didn’t follow one of the rules above. Please feel free to add your link again once you have fixed the problem. If you don’t know why your link was deleted, please ask.

Mister Linky’s Magical Widgets — Easy-Linky widget will appear right here!
This preview will disappear when the widget is displayed on your site.
For best results, use HTML mode to edit this section of the post.


The other moms:


Upcoming topics for 4 Moms:

  • November 17 - Transporting the large family. What do you drive? Any tips?
  • November 24 – Q&A
  • December 1 - Teaching writing (composition)

Recent topics:

About 4 Moms, including a complete list of all past topics

Big family in a small house: What do you want to know?

Free nursing cover, carseat cover, sling, and more!: Just pay shipping

Remember my series about having a Big Family in a Small House?  Here are the posts I did so far:

  • Big family in a small house, part 1: Bedrooms
  • Big family in a small house, part 2: Storage
  • Big family in a small house, part 3: the floor plan
  • Big family in a small house, part 4: Entertaining guests
  • Big family in a small house, part 5: Finding personal space
  • So here’s the question of the day: if I add to the series, what else would you want to know?  Hit me with your questions!


    4 Moms giveaway: Large Family Logistics!!!

    Free nursing cover, carseat cover, sling, and more!: Just pay shipping

    This giveaway closed on 7/13/2011. 38462 m 4 Moms giveaway: Large Family Logistics!!!

    We’re really excited about this, and we think you will be too.  Did you see the 3 exclamation points at the end of this post title?  Think about it: how often have you seen me do that?  I am not an excitable person (unless there’s a scorpion in my bed).  But this, this is exciting!

    Each of the 4 Moms is going to give away a free copy of Large Family Logistics by Kim Brenneman, highly organized mom of 10 kids.  Enter at all 4 of our blogs to pump up your chances of winning – you’re allowed!

    And why do you think we’re giving away copies of Large Family Logistics?

    Because we’re going to spend the month of August blogging through the book and we want you to join us.  We’re going to do 4 consecutive weeks of linkies!  The more, the merrier, so get ready and tell all your blogging friends to get ready too!

    About the book:

    Moms have many tasks to tackle and obstacles to overcome: the laundry monster, household clutter and cleaning needs, caring for babies and little ones, menu planning and mealtime routines, town outings, homeschooling, bill paying—and even more!

    Like many wives and mothers, author Kim Brenneman didn’t start out with all of the answers. She struggled to figure out: What do I do next? What’s the best way to actually do the many things that need to be done? And how do I get everything accomplished in a 24-hour day and keep my sanity?

    In Large Family Logistics, Kim outlines practical solutions she has learned to effectively manage a busy household. This how-to manual is filled with step-by-step procedures, easy-to- understand organizational advice, and a myriad of tips and hints for managing a bustling home with greater efficiency in a way that honors God and builds up family relationships.

    Sensible and straightforward, Kim tackles the nitty- gritty, day-to-day challenges moms face and also offers sound counsel on how to plan and accomplish long-term domestic goals. An invaluable home management resource that will equip busy moms to get beyond survival mode and thrive!

     

    Large Family Logistics Giveaway

    To enter:

    • Leave a comment on this post telling me what area of your home could use the most help.

    Additional entries: (Please leave an additional comment for each entry.)

    • Share about this giveaway on Facebook.
    • Post about this giveaway on your blog. (3 entries! Please leave 3 separate comments for this.  If you post about the other moms’ giveaways, your post can count be entered here too.  Just make sure it contains a link to this giveaway.)
    • Tweet about this giveaway. You may copy and paste: Win a copy of Large Family Logistics from @raisingolives , enter here http://inashoe.com/?p=9116
    • Don’t forget to enter the other 3 Moms’ giveaways!

    We’ll announce the 4 winners next Thursday.

    Don’t want to wait?  Vision Forum just kicked off a special which includes Large Family Logistics!

    87462 m 4 Moms giveaway: Large Family Logistics!!!$38.00

    Save $21.00 (36%)
    Regular Price $59.00

    Through July 9, save 35% when you purchase Vision Forum’s complete family pack: Victorious Home Life for Families Large and Small. This collection includes two Vision Forum bestsellers — Tea with Michelle Duggar (DVD) and Large Family Logistics (book) — plus the Duggar’s new release,  A Love that Multiplies (book). Together, these resources will equip you to more efficiently run and manage your household, as well as disciple and love your children with renewed joy.


    Upcoming topics:

    • July 14 - Lunch Menu linky
    • July 21 - Tips for remaining patient when you have a houseful of kids
    • July 28 – Q&A  (please leave your questions on my last Q&A post if you want me to find them)

    Recent topics:

    About 4 Moms, including more past topics

     

    Beach trip 2011

    Free nursing cover, carseat cover, sling, and more!: Just pay shipping

    Just in case you’re wondering, the beach was wonderful, incredible, exciting, fabulous, amazing, adventurous.  How could it fail to be any of the above and a hundred more synonyms for fun?  It was the beach. Some of us thought we would love to own a house on the beach and live there.  Some of us thought the novelty would wear off too quickly.  I would love the opportunity to learn who is right and who is wrong.

    IMAG01101 300x179 Beach trip 2011

    Since we were going to spend 2 nights and 3 days there, I hatched a plan to aid the sunblock and delay the inevitable sunburns: we would spend a few hours on the beach early in the morning, then for the heat of the day we would hide in our hotel rooms or the beach house rented by the extended family.  The little ones could have their naps while the big ones played cards, visited, etc.  After a siesta, we would once again hit the sand and play for the rest of the day while the sun sank low behind us.

    We left our house insanely early Monday morning and arrived around 11 AM after a 5.5 hour drive.  Immediately ditching the anti-sunburn plan, we all donned swimsuits, slathered on the BBQ sauce, and hit the surf.

    IMAG01091 300x179 Beach trip 2011

    We saw the standard seagulls, but also huge brown pelicans, soaring and diving around us.  How can something so ugly be so majestic at the same time?

    We saw whole schools of fish at the crest of nearly every way, all around us.  We laughed every time one flipped out of the water and flew back in.  We squealed at the seaweed brushing our legs, suspecting jellyfish instead.  I spotted dorsal fins moving back and forth, surfacing and disappearing just beyond the nearby sandbar.  When I pointed them out to the others with me, we convinced each other that they were just dolphins (I know, I know.  They’re really porpoises).

    When we spotted a whole school fever of stingrays (yes, I had to look it up )on the crest of a wave 20 feet away, we decided it was time to join the little kids on the shore.

    Late in the day Perry Boy spotted something alive on the shore.  He screamed and pointed, “DAD!  I see something like a CRAB!”  It was a big crab, which we carried back in a bucket to show the rest of our group.  Fortunately we got a picture of the exact moment he spotted it.

    perry and crab 300x266 Beach trip 2011

    The next day, our plan fell through.  We slept right through the cool morning hours, put on more BBQ sauce, and climbed back into the frying pan.  It was great.

    OK, I’m exaggerating a little.  First we went to the free aquarium at the nearby Texas Sea Center, where I looked long and hard at the dorsal fin of every single shark on display.  I was relieved to see that none resembled the dorsal fins I had seen the day before.   They were just dolphins.  Right?  Right??

    At the Sea Center, we crowded around the touch tank to touch all the different types of crabs – hermit crabs, shameface crabs, stone crabs, blue crabs, spider crabs.

    IMAG00921 300x179 Beach trip 2011

    We looked in the other tanks at the endless varieties of fish, large and small, drab and colorful.

    We saw electric eels and morays.

    The little kids had great fun making crayon rubbings at an art station, and left all of them lying there.

    crayon rubbings1 300x179 Beach trip 2011

    A few of the kids bought shark tooth necklaces for $2.

    And then they begged to go back to the beach.  Of course, nice parents that we are, we obliged.

    beach 300x225 Beach trip 2011

    We sauced up and hit the sand again while the sun was still at its peak.  By the end of the day, most of us were nicely toasted.

    Dinner was our first-ever shrimp boil.  I think everyone agreed it was glorious, and we plan to do it again soon with or without seafood.  My mom was wishing she had thought to serve meals that way back when she was serving 3 meals a day to 10 or 15 kids.  Just think of all the dishes that would be saved!   Then she realized that she did think of it, but Dad wouldn’t let her feed us from a trough.  Somehow it seems much classier when you do it in a beach house.

    shrimp boil 300x179 Beach trip 2011

    At some point, a couple of the girls realized that they had hatchling crabs in their swimsuits and they showed us the tiny things, barely visible to the human eye.  We compared notes and realized that the faint itchy/pinchy feelings we had all experienced in the water were probably not ant bites like they would have been at home.  No, you don’t get ants in your pants at the beach.  You get crabs in your swimsuit.

    After a little thought, we cautioned the girls against telling people that they had crabs.  Nice girls don’t get crabs, and we didn’t want to give people the wrong idea.  Tact and discretion required a more precise name.  We had infant crustaceans in our swimsuits.

    baby crab 300x179 Beach trip 2011

    On the last day, Kaitlyn made an incredible lifesize mermaid in the sand with lovely seaweed hair.  Isn’t she lovely?  My sister has a picture of Kaitlyn lying on the sand with her mermaid friend.  I’m watching facebook to see if it shows up…

    IMAG01201 300x179 Beach trip 2011

    Oh, wait.  She’s not a mermaid.  See?  No tail.  Here’s a pic with Rachael and the sand-maiden:

    rachael and mermaid 225x300 Beach trip 2011

    Our last stop before we left town was the jetty, about a mile down the beach.  Mom and some of my sibs drove over with us, and we all had a long, leisurely amble far out into the ocean.

    IMAG01271 300x179 Beach trip 2011

    The sun was blazing down on us but the breeze made it bearable, at least for those of us who had more tan and less burn.  We finally got to see dolphins with dorsal fins that matched what I had seen while swimming.

    dorsal fins 300x128 Beach trip 2011

    We saw a freshly killed sea turtle with a plastic line wrapped around one flipper, and wondered just how it had died.  Did a fisherman kill it because it had fouled a net?  Did he find it suffering and kill it out of mercy?  Did it simply climb up on the rocks to die?  My brother took it by the line and swung it back into the water, avoiding the puddle of blood around it.

    We saw schools of much bigger fish than we had seen swimming, and I saw several groups of what looked like angelfish.  Perry suggested that our stingray sighting was actually fish like these, but Deanna accused us of ruining a perfectly good stingray story and I agree.  They were not flat fish.  We saw stingrays in the water.

    We saw several piles of small fish that had been caught in nets by some of the fisherman.  They had picked through them for bait, then left the rest to die on the hot rocks when they were done fishing for the day.  Natalie and Becca were horrified at the waste of life and threw the ones that were still alive back into the water.  I concurred.  Hunting and fishing are good stewardship, but wasting the resources God has given us is just that: wasteful.  Why wouldn’t these fisherman want to throw back the little ones for another day?

    We found multitudes of tiny snails on the rocks where the waves washed against them, and I gently pulled some off to show Perry.  He was scared of crabs, but loved these little guys.  He was disappointed that he couldn’t take them home to keep as pets, but we assured him they would quickly die.

    IMAG0143 179x300 Beach trip 2011 IMAG0145 179x300 Beach trip 2011 snails 179x300 Beach trip 2011

    Credits for the photographer for most of the photos in this post:

    IMG 2039 300x225 Beach trip 2011

    er…the big guy.  Not the little redhead, though I’m fond of her too.

    Spring cleaning

    Free nursing cover, carseat cover, sling, and more!: Just pay shipping

    Not our own giveaway, but visit Homestead Drying Racks for a chance to win Homesteading for Beginners (a 3 DVD set)


    It’s a fact of life that blogging slows down when spring cleaning starts up.  Today was bright, sunny, and in the 70′s.  We couldn’t resist.  We cleaned the storage shed.

    Maybe you don’t have a storage shed so you miss the grandeur of this undertaking.  Or maybe you just don’t allow your children to carry stuff down to your storage shed while you sit and blog, so your shed doesn’t look like mine did.

    Either way, we forgot to take before and after photos and I hang my head in shame.  I have failed as a blogger.

    We were motivated largely by the fact that last weekend we managed to free up all 3 dressers in the house plus the nightstand.  We were able to organize the shed properly this time because we were able to add proper storage options rather than forcing some poor soul to decide between tossing 3 space heaters and 19 out-of-season dresses up into the rafters or climbing across 4 box fans, a double stroller, and a full size mattress to put the stuff on top of a 20 gallon fish – er, snake tank.

    Are you laughing at my optimism that this time the shed will stay organized?  Are you wondering how can possibly believe this time will be different than all the other times we organized the shed?  I knew it.  Go ahead and snicker.  I’m ignoring you.  I’m pretending you’re just wondering how we managed to free up all the dressers.

    And how did we free up the dressers?  Like this:

    CUBBIES21 300x200 Spring cleaning

    See?  Cubbies!  We love them!  It’s a work in progress: we plan to add a few more upward to create a sort of zig-zag line from upper left down to the window, then a little jag up on the right, sort of framing the window.  Make sense?  Well, it does in my head.  It looks nice, really.  Much nicer than this times two:

    kid room 200x300 Spring cleaning

    That wall of cubbies holds the clothes of 6 of the children, plus space for books, jewelry, toys, etc.  The 4 youngest have their clothes in my room, but they each have one cubby of their own here in the Kid Room for their toys as well.

    CUBBIES 300x200 Spring cleaning

    We put a similar system in our own bedroom, but it’s much smaller.  Perry and I each have a 2×3 unit for a nightstand/dresser, and another conglomeration holds clothes for the 4 little ones plus shoes for all six of us.

    Before – Ancient dresser on Mom’s side crammed with clothes for 4.  Nightstand on Dad’s side mostly crammed with forgotten and unidentified junk.

    bedroom 300x204 Spring cleaning

    After – Mom’s side of the room:

    NIGHTSTAND MOM 173x300 Spring cleaning

    Dad’s side of the room:

    nightstand dad 137x300 Spring cleaning

    Did you notice our bling?  I have my jewelry organizer, improvised from a glassless picture frame.

    bling mom 200x300 Spring cleaning

    Perry has a tie rack, topped by his grandfather’s old shoehorn.

    bling dad 200x300 Spring cleaning

    Clothes for little people and shoes for all:

    shoes 177x300 Spring cleaning

    Hmmm.  Either I’m tired and grumpy, or it all looks better in real life.  Maybe I should have had one of my in-house photographers do the job.

    Anyway, we’re all whupped tonight, and we all love our bedrooms now.  Tomorrow’s mission: potluck at our house with 40 or 50 people!

    Happy Birthday Beloved!

    Free nursing cover, carseat cover, sling, and more!: Just pay shipping

    Happy Birthday to the prettiest girl in the world. (and a darn good blogger too)

    Kim2 Happy Birthday Beloved!

    Happy Birthday!

    Kim1 Happy Birthday Beloved!

    Happy Birthday Kim

    Kim3 Happy Birthday Beloved!

    She's mine!

    Living small

    Free nursing cover, carseat cover, sling, and more!: Just pay shipping

    I’m not officially blogging during the month of December, but wanted to take a moment to share this chic little Paris apartment, which houses a family of 4 and one big dog. They may have the same number of square feet/person that we do, but there are economies of scale that they miss out on.  They have much less living area than we do.

    I’m guessing the apartment itself is nothing out of the ordinary over there, but I love the comments from Europeans who point out how we Americans have allowed our perception of needs to become so inflated.

    The Myth of Overpopulation

    Free nursing cover, carseat cover, sling, and more!: Just pay shipping

    Surely you already know that I don’t subscribe to the myth of overpopulation.  Even if I did, if faced with accusations of irresponsibility I think I would have to quote another mother: “Sir, the world NEEDS my children.”

    Nonetheless, I enjoy witnessing the debunking of ridiculous theories like evolution and overpopulation.  That’s one reason I can’t resist sharing this video, found via Large Family Mothering.

    The other reason?

    I love God’s sense of humor and timing.  I found this video and let it load in the background while chatting online with my good friend, Mother Hen.  When it was done loading, I hit the play button.  Mother Hen sent me a link while I was watching, but I finished the video before going back to our chat.  When I clicked on her link, guess what came up?

    Yup.  I wonder if she’s blogging the video this very moment?  Nah…what are the chances of that?

    Duggars in Cincinnati

    Free nursing cover, carseat cover, sling, and more!: Just pay shipping

    139x138 Duggars in CincinnatiWe hear a lot about the Duggars.  When people meet us with our 10 children, there are 2 common responses.  If they know my parents, they ask if we’re trying to “beat” them.  I’m the oldest of 14 children so if it’s a competition, we’re not far behind.

    If they don’t know my parents, they want to know if we’re trying to catch up with the Duggars.

    We’ve met the Duggars a couple of times, and I don’t want to compete with them.  They are far too sweet and genuine.  I’d rather be on the same side as they are.

    If you live near Cincinnati, you may have a chance to meet them too! The Duggar family will be at the 2011 MidWest Homeschool Convention in Cincinnati!

    Michelle Duggar  will be leading a special workshop session during the day on Saturday, and that evening at 6PM the children will perform.  Then Jim Bob and Michelle will share their testimony & family story. This will be followed by a Question & Answer session, and finally an autograph-session/book-signing.

    Want to learn more about the Duggar family?  Check out their book and video:

    38463 m Duggars in Cincinnati

    Career choices

    Free nursing cover, carseat cover, sling, and more!: Just pay shipping

    Posted by Megan

    So, today I was thinking about all the stuff I’d like to do. I’d like to be a writer. I’d like to be an editor. It would pretty cool to be hairdresser.It would be flat out awesome to be a chef. Then I realized, being a SAHM  means that you can do all of that, and much more!

    My mom blogs: she is a writer.

    My mom edits whatever we blog: she is an editor.

    My mom cuts, trims, tapers and layers all of our hair: she’s a hairdresser.

    My mom cooked for all of us, for years before we started helping: she’s a chef.

    It seems like some career woman think we have no choices.  I’m sorry, but that makes me want to laugh. It’s just plain silly, SAHMs (or SAHMs to be) have far less limited choices than career women. That’s my thought, anyway.

    Ask the kids: Do you want a big family?

    Free nursing cover, carseat cover, sling, and more!: Just pay shipping

    I asked earlier this week what question you would ask the children of a mega-family.  I want your questions to help with a secret project, but in the meantime I thought it would be fun to put the questions to my own children.

    I’m starting with one that we hear quite often from friends, family and strangers alike.  I was really touched by how much their individual personalities came through in their answers. Believe it or not, these answers are totally uncoached and unrehearsed.  Am I the only one cracking up over Perry Boy’s answer?

    Do you want a big family when you grow up?  Why or why not?

    Deanna (17):

    I like big families and I would feel perfectly comfortable having a big family but I don’t have my heart set on having a certain number of kids.  I feel equipped to have a big family, but at the same time I wouldn’t be hugely heartbroken if I only ended up having 2 or 3 kids.

    I don’t believe in using any form of birth control – I very strongly believe that because I believe that God won’t give me more kids than I can handle and He won’t give me any kid in particular that I couldn’t handle, like a child with Down’s syndrome or autism.  If I couldn’t handle a challenge like that, He wouldn’t give it to me.

    Besides all that, I want to have at least 20 grandbabies. I can’t wait to be a totally awesome grandma!

    Kaitlyn (15):

    Of course! I love kids and wouldn’t want to miss out on any of my kids that I might have had icon smile Ask the kids: Do you want a big family? . I love being a part of a big family and can’t imagine anything else (and I don’t want t0).  Lord willing I’ll have at least 50 grandkids to love and if I do my job properly I’ll have a steady stream of babies for all my life…

    I always feel very proud of my parents when we’re all together and get complimented and I can’t wait for people to see my family! I think having a big family is a great public witness too.

    Besides just loving kids the Bible makes it very clear that God wants us to have lots of kids. “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth…” I don’t think it gets any clearer than that! God doesn’t say “if you want to and if it’s convenient for you I’d like you to have some kids”.

    Lydia (13):

    Yes, partly because it would seem very boring to have just 1 or 2 kids.  Also for Biblical reasons: “be fruitful and multiply…” and “children are a blessing from the Lord.”  And I like babies!

    If God did choose to give me only 2 kids, it would obviously be because He had other things in mind to occupy me.  But right now 2 kids sounds very boring.  I think it would be easy to be content with anything more than 8 kids, because less than that would seem like a small family to me.

    Megan (12):

    Yes, I want at least 12 so I can say that kids are cheaper by the dozen.  If I go above 12 – heck!  I may as well aim to beat the Duggars!  But why do I want kids?  Growing up in a large family, I think if my parents had had less kids I would probably spend all my life wishing  they’d had more.

    Natalie (10):

    I do, because kids are very fun and the older ones would be very helpful.  I want my kids to have the same sort of life that I do, but I hope it’s even better for them – sometimes my sisters pick on me.  I just want a big family so I can see how hard it is, and it’s fun to be loved by everyone in a big family.  I think it would be nice to have between 10 and 20 kids.

    Becca (9):

    Yes!  I want a big family because it’s fun to see babies grow into kids.  Baby toes are so cute, and it’s fun to look at all their tiny clothes.  I like it when people say, “Wow!  Your baby is so cute!”  Also, I like to cook for a big family.  I think it would be fun to teach kids how to cook and read.

    Rachael (6):

    I’m fine with how many kids God wants to give me.  If He gives me a lot, I’ll be happy, but if He only gives me a little that’s ok too.  But I hope He gives me a lot!  I want 20 kids! – No, wait –  I want as much as God gives me.

    Perry (4):

    I want a bunch of kids!  I’m gonna have as much as God gives me.  If I stop having kids, then I want to adopt a little bit more.  I’ll adopt as many as God gives me, too.  I want to adopt ALL THE ORPHANS IN THE WHOLE WORLD!  And I’ll build a huge house, with a lot of bedrooms – no, with just one bedroom like we have, but really huge so all the kids can share it!  And I’ll be their dad, and my wife will be their mom.

    And I want you to have some more babies.  I want 2 more brothers so we can have 2 teams and 2 people on each team, and we can play good guys getting bad guys.

    [slightly condensed because he repeats himself and because nobody can type as fast as that kid talks when he's excited.]

    What would you ask?

    Free nursing cover, carseat cover, sling, and more!: Just pay shipping

    I have a question for you.

    If you could ask the children of a mega-family anything you wanted, what would your question be?

    Just one question, mind you, answered from the individual perspective of each child.

    Indulge me and assume that unlike my own children, these children range from established adults with families and worldviews of their own, down to preteens and young adults still under their parents’ roof.

    What would you want to know?

    4 Moms 35 Kids: Kitchen/Dining Room linkup

    Free nursing cover, carseat cover, sling, and more!: Just pay shipping

    Last week, we all showed the outside of our home or the entry if we had one.  I’ll start off this week with an excuse – er, an apology.  I forgot the kitchen part and thought this week was only about dining rooms.  ”What’s the problem?”  you’re asking.  ”Why doesn’t she just snap  a few pictures of her kitchen and be done with it?”

    Well, I’m sorry but I can’t.  I loaned my camera to my sister this weekend because I’m 300 miles from my kitchen.  If it’s kitchens you want, you’ll have to drop in on Smockity, Raising Olives, or the Headmistress.

    But in what I thought was an uncommon display of foresight, I did snap a few pics of my dining room before I left town.  Here’s the grand tour.

    Lest you get the wrong idea from the word grand, our dining room is not particularly large, though we think it is well suited to entertaining large groups.  Our floor plan is very open, with a dining area smack in the middle of the 12 x 48 kitchen/dining/living area.

    Our table, on the other hand, is nearly 4 feet wide and 9 feet long of solid hardwood.  We found it at a scratch-n-dent store many years ago and decided it was probably a good investment for a family that was growing at the rate of one child every 19 months.  Now it’s just the right size for our family, though we’re always happy to squeeze in a few extras if the occasion arises.

    at table 300x200 4 Moms 35 Kids: Kitchen/Dining Room linkup

    The finish is sadly deteriorated after all these years, so as part of our homeschooler disguise we covered it with maps and other educational items under clear plastic.

    world map 300x200 4 Moms 35 Kids: Kitchen/Dining Room linkup

    pen paper 300x200 4 Moms 35 Kids: Kitchen/Dining Room linkup

    I gladly gave up my vacuum cleaner years ago when we put down linoleum tile.  Now we use these to clean the floor.

    floor cleaners 200x300 4 Moms 35 Kids: Kitchen/Dining Room linkup

    They do a beautiful job, and don’t require any storage space like the vacuum did.  I think they just live under the table, usually as close to the little ones’ seats as possible.

    In the first photo above, to the right of the table you see our computer counter.  I had a separate photo of this but it didn’t turn out so you’ll have to squint your eyes and/or use your imagination.

    This is where we keep 4 computer monitors, all attached to the same desktop unit.  These are often used for educational purposes.  If you think Facebook is in any way educational, then they are always used for homeschooling.  That would certainly answer the “what about socialization” question, wouldn’t it?

    Another useful fixture in our dining room is the globe.  We like ours without a base because…um…it’s easier to turn it around and see new places?  No.  The truth is, the base never lasts more than a month.  I got tired of replacing perfectly good globes just because the base broke and now we’ve had the same one for 3 years.  I don’t think the younger children know that globes even come with a base.

    globe 300x200 4 Moms 35 Kids: Kitchen/Dining Room linkup

    Above the computer counter is the birthday wall.  See how uneven they are?  That’s because they all rattle every time somebody slams the front door, in the lower right corner.  Hmm.  Natalie seems to have fallen again.

    birthday wall 300x87 4 Moms 35 Kids: Kitchen/Dining Room linkup

    This is where we have 1st birthday photos of each member of the family, from Dad all the way down to…well…if you count the frames, you’ll find that I’ve procrastinated for at least a year in updating it, because there’s no picture of Bethany, let alone Parker.  If you look closely, you might notice that Perry Boy is only a couple of months old, which means that I’ve procrastinated far longer.   Anyway it’s far more efficient to do these things by 2′s and 3′s, don’t you think?

    Guess who most of our children take after.

    daddy boy 251x300 4 Moms 35 Kids: Kitchen/Dining Room linkup

    momma 231x300 4 Moms 35 Kids: Kitchen/Dining Room linkup

    And we’re done!  Who’s hungry?

    Are you ready to show your kitchen and/or dining room? Link up below, and please remember to follow the rules: you must link to an individual post on your blog (not the home page), and your post must link back to one of the 4 moms.  Thanks for joining in!

    4 Moms 35 Kids: Open House linky

    Free nursing cover, carseat cover, sling, and more!: Just pay shipping

    4moms35kids 4 Moms 35 Kids: Open House linky4 Moms 35 Kids is back from summer break/maternity leave!  Did you miss us?

    Just for the fun of it, we’ve agreed to kick it off with an Open House to show you how big families live.  Join me, Kimberly, Smockity and the Headmistress by linking up with a post and pics of your own.

    Our Open House this week highlights the outside of the house.  Here in south Texas, we have 2 seasons: Summer, and Not-Summer.  Each lasts about 6 months.

    Since we don’t use a/c and things get pretty steamy down here, we spend a lot of time outside in the summer.  Of course we also spend a lot of time outside during the more pleasant not-summer time.

    Needless to say, we love our deck.   My hunney has been buying me wrought-iron tables and chairs by bits and pieces over the last year or more.  We eat dinner out here nearly every night, especially when we have company.

    deck furniture 300x200 4 Moms 35 Kids: Open House linky

    Last year I also added a table built out of leftover scraps from deck repairs.  We usually serve dinner buffet style from this table.

    table 300x200 4 Moms 35 Kids: Open House linky

    We were thrilled to add some shade on our deck last year…

    shade 300x133 4 Moms 35 Kids: Open House linky

    and even more shade last month.

    sunshade 300x225 4 Moms 35 Kids: Open House linky

    See? Lots of shade!

    more shade 300x200 4 Moms 35 Kids: Open House linky

    We already thought our view was stunning, but somehow it seems even nicer when your brains aren’t baking in the sun.

    view 300x201 4 Moms 35 Kids: Open House linky

    Unfortunately, our garden isn’t nearly as happy on the deck as we are.  I think it’s languishing for freedom, but the deer run rampant down there.  The garden wouldn’t last a week.

    garden 300x200 4 Moms 35 Kids: Open House linky

    If you’ve ever been to our house in real life, you were probably expecting to see our laundry hung out to dry.  No, I am not posting pics of our undies flapping in the wind for the whole world wide web to see.  Only our closest friends and family get that view.

    If one were to venture off the deck – something I do with shameful infrequency – one would be accosted by chickens who assume that you are on your way to the compost pile with a bucket of goodies.

    friendly chickens 300x200 4 Moms 35 Kids: Open House linky

    The full-grown hens are very friendly, but we’re curious to see if our little Leghorn pullets will stay as sweet as they are now.  Leghorns have a reputation for being shy and skittish.  Too bad they can’t stay tiny and fluffy, but I suppose that would defeat the purpose of having chickens.

    leghorn 300x200 4 Moms 35 Kids: Open House linky

    Further down the driveway is our little bit of flatland, where you’ll find a used bike lot and the trampoline.

    bikes for sale or trade 300x200 4 Moms 35 Kids: Open House linky

    Wait – did I say that?  Bikes?  What bikes?  There’s just a trampoline.

    trampoline 300x200 4 Moms 35 Kids: Open House linky

    trampoline1 300x201 4 Moms 35 Kids: Open House linky

    You’re welcome to walk about our 5 rocky, hilly acres if you’d like – there’s lots of live oak, spanish oak, agaritas (loaded with delightfully tart little berries in the spring), and prickly pears (another edible fruit, though we aren’t fond of them), with small scrubby cedar everywhere.  Oh, and rocks.  Lots of rocks.

    prickly pears 300x200 4 Moms 35 Kids: Open House linky

    And that’s all there is to see, folks.  Would you care to sit a spell and have a glass of iced tea?  Or come in and see the baby?

    parker 293x300 4 Moms 35 Kids: Open House linky

    Or you could link up with a post of your own.  Just link here and your link will show up on all 4 Moms’ blogs!  Please remember to include a link to this post to keep your link from being deleted.

    100+ Reasons to Have Children

    Free nursing cover, carseat cover, sling, and more!: Just pay shipping

    Lately I’ve come across several lists of reasons not to have children.   I find it very sad and telling that nearly all of the authors’ reasons are based in immaturity, materialism, myths, and misconceptions.  Yes, children require work, money and personal sacrifice, but these are all things we do willingly because we love them.  These are joyful sacrifices for a worthwhile cause.

    I couldn’t help but work on my own version.  Here are a few of the perks of having children, in no particular order.  Some are tongue-in-cheek, while others are dead serious.  I’ll let you try to guess which is which.

    Please understand that I am not criticizing those who do not have children, particularly those who struggle with infertility.  I am also not suggesting that you or I should have children just so that we can save some bucks when it’s time to file taxes, or use the stork space in the grocery store parking lot.  My point is that children are a blessing and a delight, not a burden to be avoided at all costs.

    What would you add to the list below?

    100+ Reasons to Have Children

    1. Have a happier marriage.
    2. Pay less income taxes.
    3. Learn to share, and like it.
    4. The ultimate diet plan: morning sickness and breastfeeding.
    5. Enjoy snuggles on demand, around the clock.
    6. Cuteness abounds.
    7. Disposable diapers.  There.  I said it.
    8. Receive preferential treatment in grocery lines.
    9. Be seated first (or last, if you prefer) on planes.
    10. Park in the “stork” space at grocery stores.
    11. Have an excuse to buy cool toys and cute little outfits.
    12. Children will love you on your worst day, and…
    13. they think you’re beautiful, even on bad hair days,
    14. or when you’re not wearing makeup.
    15. Free entertainment: kids are hilarious.
      beccapc 150x150 100+ Reasons to Have Children
    16. Laughter is good for your health.  See above.
    17. Have family still living when you’re old.
    18. Have someone to help you when you’re old.
    19. Grandkids!
    20. Have someone to help care for your pets.
    21. But who needs pets?  Kids are way cuter, and they last longer.
    22. Unlike pets, kids eventually learn to take care of their own poop.
    23. Get a lollipop every time you go to the bank, along with your children.
    24. Tone your arms the old-fashioned way: tote a toddler.
    25. Kids eat free at many restaurants.
    26. Have an excuse to buy junk food.
    27. Sharing your junk food means less stays on your own hips.
    28. Children will eat and appreciate your failed cooking experiments.
    29. Embarrass your kids.  You won’t believe how fun it is.  Displays of affection with your spouse work well for this.
    30. Be better able to encourage other parents during rough times with their children because you’ve been-there-done-that.
    31. Blow bubbles.
    32. Give your friends somewhere to send their kids’ hand-me-downs.
    33. Burn calories: play with your kids.
    34. Kids will help hone your reactions with obstacle courses on the stairs.
    35. Save money by not buying birth control.
    36. Have sex without worrying about pregnancy.  It’s fun.
    37. Ask anyone who has given birth: the pains of labor are worth it.
    38. Pregnancy reduces menstrual cramps in subsequent periods.
    39. Pregnancy lowers your risk of ovarian cancer.
    40. Breastfeeding lowers your risk of breast cancer,
    41. and uterine cancer,
    42. and osteoporosis.
    43. Not using birth control lowers your risk of ectopic pregnancy.
    44. Think pregnancy dooms you to getting fat?  Take a look at my mom with her 14 kids.  Can you even tell which one she is?
       100+ Reasons to Have Children
    45. Pregnancy requires you to eat more.  I can appreciate that.
    46. Be motivated to be a better person.  Little eyes are watching.
    47. Help raise the languishing birth rate.
    48. Learn alongside your children.
    49. Read books you never would have discovered on your own.
    50. Reread your childhood favorites with and to a new generation.
    51. See the world through new, unjaded eyes.
    52. See yourself through your baby’s eyes.  It’s amazing.
    53. See yourself through your children’s eyes.  You’ll never be the same again.
    54. See your flaws reflected in your children.  It’s enlightening and humbling.
    55. Kids will make you proud and keep you humble.
    56. If you make a mess while eating, everyone will assume the kids did it.
    57. Kid will say what you wish you could say, but can’t.
    58. Strengthen your relationship with your own parents by becoming a parent yourself.
    59. Stay physically active.  It’s much harder to be lazy when little ones depend on you.
    60. Improved immune system.  It’s a law of nature: Moms never get sick.
    61. If you do get sick, you have someone to take care of you without your spouse taking time off work.
    62. Baby smiles.
    63. Carrying a baby?  Strangers will smile at you.
    64. Babies are also a great conversation starter.
    65. Learn to delight in everyday occurrences.
    66. Translate toddler gibberish with ease for puzzled onlookers.
    67. Your own love for your child gives you a small taste of how much God loves His children.
    68. Live vicariously: remember that toy you never got as a child, but you’re too old to want it now?  Let your kids try it out.
    69. Relive your childhood: remember the toy you did get as a child?  Let your kids try it out.
      slinky 100+ Reasons to Have Children
    70. Rediscover the joy of crayons.
    71. Job security: moms have it.
    72. Learn and believe that happiness really doesn’t come from material wealth…
    73. …yet be amazed at how much joy you can buy your child with a quarter.
    74. Kids are cheap.
    75. Marvel that 2 people can produce children that are better-looking than either parent.  Heredity is a strange and wonderful thing.
    76. Be welcomed home like a returning war hero every time you go grocery shopping or to the post office.
    77. Be looked at like this:
      bess31 150x150 100+ Reasons to Have Children
    78. Soft little fingers and toes.  They’re cute on other people’s children, but utterly priceless on your own children.
    79. The unbearable cuteness of newborn-size diapers. (credit: Deanna)
    80. Discover your super powers: make milk, and heal mortal wounds with a kiss.
    81. Ask any parent you know if they regret having kids.
    82. Learn to appreciate simple pleasures: ice cream cones, a single M&M, homemade cookies.
    83. Do you love your spouse?  Experience a miracle: a new person who looks like both of you.
    84. After 10 years of children, washing dishes becomes optional.  (credit: Deanna)
    85. Get special treatment on Mother’s Day.
    86. Breakfast in bed is fun, even when it’s cheerios and multi vitamins.  (credit: Becca)
    87. Experience the triumph of potty training.
    88. Have the advantage of a youthful memory again: have your kids remind you about important things.  (credit: Megan)
    89. Expand your wardrobe: share clothes with your teens.
    90. Gather candy from the piñata without getting funny looks.
    91. Have help cooking.
    92. Be a safer driver,
    93. In a safer vehicle.
    94. Free or cheap manicures and pedicures.  I pay a dollar.
    95. Ditto for back/shoulder rubs.
    96. Perpetually late?  You don’t even have to blame it on the kids.  People will assume.
    97. Vanity?  You’ll look at your baby in the mirror instead of yourself.
    98. Paint your kids’ nails in a color you like but could never wear yourself.
    99. Have your bed made for $.25/day.  Maid service has never been so cheap or cheerful, and there’s no need to report payments to the IRS.
    100. If you’ve never had a baby fall asleep on your chest, you just don’t know what you’re missing.
    101. Homemade friends.  My children are some of my favorite companions.
    102. Kids with money ROCK!  They buy their own clothes, treat you to Starbucks, and buy you unbelievable birthday/Christmas gifts.
    103. World domination through militant fecundity! [maniacal laughter]
    104. Children are part of God’s purpose for creating marriage:But did He not make them one,
      Having a remnant of the Spirit?
      And why one?
      He seeks godly offspring.  Malachi 2:15

    Want to see another list, more thoughtful and eloquent than mine?  40 Reasons to Have Kids

    If, on the other hand, you like ‘em funny, try this: Reasons to Have Children.


    Visit other posts about being a homemaker at the Homemaking Link-Up

     

    Baby Conference recap

    Free nursing cover, carseat cover, sling, and more!: Just pay shipping

    bc s Baby Conference recap

    Read to the bottom for a giveaway.  Hey – wait!  No skipping ahead.  I worked hard on this post.

    It’s been quiet here on our blog, but that doesn’t mean life has been quiet for our family.  On the contrary, it’s been a whirlwind.  Last weekend was Vision Forum’s long-awaited Baby Conference!  Perry and I attended Thursday evening with just the baby.

    On Friday he had to work, but the kids and I left the house early and stayed at the conference until mid-afternoon.  We met a lot of friends, old and new, and managed to take in a few sessions.  Then we checked into a hotel room and swam until it was time to to pick up my Hunney.  We had planned to go back to the conference for the evening, but decided to take Deanna out for a birthday ice cream instead since it was her 17th birthday!

    We were up and out early on Saturday morning since it was finally time for the panel on Managing the Logistics of a Large Family.  The girls sat in on the session, while Perry was in and out – he was working as staff.  My sister was there with her girls too, quite an accomplishment since they had to leave their house just after 6 AM.  Is it just me, or do Rachael and cousin Alyssa  look like they’re still half-asleep?

    4787899986 91d92849f8 Baby Conference recap

    I was much less nervous by this time, and felt even better when the session started and I learned that we wouldn’t be taking surprise questions from the audience (sorry, y’all).  Instead, Beall Phillips had prepared a list of questions, and we would all take turns answering each question.  Better yet, I found myself in third place of four ladies, with Beall moderating.  This gave me time to think about my answers.

    Overall, I thought it went well.  I have zero speaking experience, unless you count running for class president during my early public school years, and that was in front of 30 other 8yo’s, not 600 mothers and children.  I know I said “um” a lot, but at least I never did the deer-in-the-headlights stare.  Well, maybe once or twice, but not while I was actually holding a microphone so I’m trying to convince myself nobody saw.

    Oh, and just for the record: we do about 3 loads of laundry per day, not week.  I’m not sure who was in charge of my brain when I said that.  I would love to go back and see the looks on the faces of the ladies who believed we really only do 3 loads/week.

    baby panel 300x200 Baby Conference recap

    I’m listening now to the rough audio from this session.  That’s one of the perks of sleeping with the guy who is in charge of audio editing.  :)

    The first few questions (paraphrased slightly):

    1. What kind of preparation did you have for raising a large family? I found the answers to this question amazingly diverse!
    2. Would you describe yourself as a rigid scheduler, a fluid scheduler, or just fluid? We had surprisingly similar answers on this, though each had different reasons and methods for implementing our scheduling styles.
    3. Did you and your husband intentionally and conscientiously set out to have a large family?  At what point did you realize you had a large family? Again, we each had a different take on this, but I was very touched by Victoria Botkin’s answer.
    4. Talk about your pregnancies for a minute: difficulties, blessings, things that you and your children learned. Diversity, diversity.  Multiple pregnancies don’t wreck your body, but it’s not always easy for all of us.  Complications don’t mean you can’t have a large family.
    5. Let’s talk about our husbands for a minute.  Try to describe for everyone the level of participation your husband has in the day-to-day.  Here is where my speaking skills failed me.  My husband has such a servant’s heart, and I don’t think I expressed that very well.  He has been such an encouragement to me during all the trials of family life, both as a source of wisdom and as a leader, taking charge in the home when we need him to do it but never micromanaging.
    6. Do you have any special tips for how to do laundry for a large household? Apparently my sock philosophy is gaining a following.
    There’s more – much, much more.  This was a 2 hour session!  I mistakenly thought it would be 90 minutes.   90 minutes would have been just right for Parker.  As it turned out, I had to feed him during the last few minutes.  He also just had time to do something we had joked about.  Something he has never done to me before in his very short life.  Something akin to this, but (thank God) on a smaller scale.
    4787279897 61c152a77a Baby Conference recap
    That’s ok.  He was just doing his bit to make sure I had something to blog about, just in case Beall’s questions didn’t do the trick.  Fortunately I had better material to blog.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    THE GIVEAWAY

    13467 m Baby Conference recap

    To enter to win a free download of this session, just leave a comment on this post.
    Not sure what to say?  Tell us what questions you would have asked if you had been there.
    If you were there, tell us what you learned!
    On Friday we’ll choose 10 winners.  Unless we do it on Saturday, or totally forget until next Monday.  You know how things can be in a big family.
    Want all 38 CDs?  Order the complete Baby Conference Audio Collection on for $89, or get the complete Baby Conference in mp3 files on 1 disc for just $45!.

    4 Moms 35 Kids: a baker’s dozen for managing the food budget

    Free nursing cover, carseat cover, sling, and more!: Just pay shipping

    See how the other 3 moms pinch a dollar til it squeals:

  • Headmistress (The Common Room): The Growing Family Beats the Incredible Shrinking Dollar
  • Connie (Smockity Frocks): Grocery Budgets
  • Kimberly (Raising Olives): Feeding Your Family on a Budget

  • According to our illustrious government, the average American household consists of 2.5 people, who spend $511/month on food.  That works out to just over $200/month for each person.  Granted, a fair portion of this (nearly 45%) is spent eating out rather than in, but there’s a lesson there: #1 way to save on groceries: Eat in.

    There are a lot of other ways that the more thrifty shoppers among us keep the food budget under control: some shop at 9 competing grocery stores; some stack coupons and deals obsessively, getting paid to shop during their best outings; some sing the merits of Angel Food Ministries; some grow enormous gardens or get free produce from the gardens and orchards of others.

    For one reason or another (do you really want to hear my long list of ready excuses?) none of these are good choices for us right now.  However, saving money is nearly always a good choice for a large family, and so we work to keep our food budget under control in other ways.

    I shared 10 basic tips to cut your grocery bill over on Frugal Hacks, but will give you the more chatty and less formal version here and now.

    I’d be hard-pressed to tell you exactly what our household spends on groceries, since in addition to 11 people we’re also feeding 25 chickens, 2 dogs (plus 9 puppies right now!), and one very large cat.  Our “food budget” also includes paper products – mainly toilet paper, and a LOT of it –  personal hygiene, household items, clothes, and nearly anything that can be purchased at WalMart.

    With all those disclaimers in place, my “food budget” including all of the above is $900/month.  I would estimate that the actual vittles cost us $700-750/month.  This is not a barebones beans-n-rice diet.  We eat meat every night of the week, and we are hearty eaters.  We also eat produce by the wholesale case.  I usually buy over 100 lbs. of produce in a single trip.  Never mind about teenage boys; try feeding a herd of hungry Coghlans for a week.

    Over the years, we have developed some habits that keep the cost manageable.  Some are newer habits, while others are well-established.

    1. Have a list, a target price and some flexibility. I know what I’m willing to pay for the items on my list, and when I find a really good sale I stock up – even if it means going over budget this week.  I know I’ll save over the upcoming weeks.  If I can’t find a fair price, I revise my list.
    2. Do your homework: I try to make sure I know the regular prices of the items I buy so I don’t get fooled by “specials” in the weekly grocery flyer.
    3. No prepared or highly processed foods.  This year, we’ve even replaced our summertime breakfast cereals (always purchased at 10 cents/oz or less) with homemade granola.  We do still stoop to the occasional case of ramen noodles, but I hardly consider them food.  The kids often eat them uncooked, so they’re more like really cheap snack crackers in really fun shapes.
    4. Homemade bread, from fresh-ground whole wheat.  Not as cheap as white bread from the store, but much more filling and nutritious, so we get more for our money.
    5. Cook from scratch. It’s probably a no-brainer for most of us and it overlaps a lot with #3 above, but this one alone will take you a long way.  We cook our beans from scratch.  We don’t buy pancake mix, cocoa mix, enchilada sauce, mac-n-cheese, cornbread mix, cake mix, canned biscuits, etc.  All of these are better and cheaper made from scratch.  An added bonus to cooking from scratch: we generate far less trash and my grocery shopping is greatly simplified (i.e. my list is much shorter).
    6. Don’t use coupons. I won’t say they’re never worth it, but in our area coupons are invariably for overpriced name brands on products that I don’t buy.  ”Save $1″ doesn’t save me anything if it’s money I wouldn’t have spent in the first place.
    7. Shop wholesale. I make a trip downtown every few weeks to buy produce by the case from the local wholesale company that supplies many of the restaurants, hotels and even grocery stores in San Antonio.  Many moms swear by restaurant supply stores as well.  You may have similar options in your town.  Ask around.  Search via the web or the old fashioned yellow pages.
    8. Costco (or Sam’s Club).  Thanks to Costco, cheese is an inexpensive source of protein in our house.  We use a shocking amount.  This is also where we buy yeast, spices, real butter, flour, sugar, nuts, coffee, tortilla chips, and a few other staples.
    9. Eggs. Another inexpensive source of protein.  We have chickens now, and eat ~18-20 eggs/day.  We have to buy feed for our chickens to supplement our scraps and their foraging so the eggs aren’t entirely free, but they’re cheaper, fresher and better than store-bought.
    10. Avoid excessive sweets. Yes, even homemade sweets can add significantly to the budget.  Chocolate chips and butter, and other ingredients add up quickly and don’t provide a lot of nutrition.
    11. Buy the specials, especially meat. I never pay over $2/lb for meat (that’s for boneless, skinless, super lean and otherwise special stuff) and usually buy it for much less.  When I find a really great deal, I buy 50-100 lbs.   We eat a lot of chicken, pork and ground beef, with occasional ham, roasts, and sausages.
    12. Eat produce in season, and eat it abundantly. I used to think that produce was expensive, but I’ve learned that’s not necessarily true.  We buy what’s cheap, not just whatever sounds good or looks appetizing today.   This may occasionally mean our only fruit is bananas or but we have plenty of variety over the course of the year.  Our salads one week may have little more than greens and red cabbage, but the next week we will have a veggie tray every night because something came into season.
    13. Buy in bulk - but always with caution, watching the unit price so I don’t get fooled by a big package that ends up costing more per ounce than 4 small ones.

    There.  A baker’s dozen of tips for saving money in the kitchen.  Appropriate, don’t you think?  What would you add?


    4moms35kids 4 Moms 35 Kids: a bakers dozen for managing the food budgetUpcoming topics for 4 Moms 35 Kids

    • April 8 Menu planning/shopping
    • April 15 Cooking from scratch – what you make from scratch and how you get it all done
    • April 22 Recipe swap – We’ll all post a couple of our favorite, budget friendly, feed a crowd recipes and a Mr. Linky so that readers can participate by contributing their own recipes.  When you share your link on one of our blogs, it will show up on all 4!  How fun is that?!

    Past topics:

    • March 18 - Live-blog day, in which all 4 of us live-blog a real day in our home.  Find out what we really do all day.  It’s our own reality show, just for you.  Who needs TV?
    • March 25 – Outings with only little ones.  Mom’s rules of order, and how not to become the poster family for birth control.

    7 down, 7 to go

    Free nursing cover, carseat cover, sling, and more!: Just pay shipping

    Photos added below.

    I mentioned on Facebook that my brother got married Saturday.  It was a beautiful wedding, and the reception was visually stunning – just like Jonathan’s sweet bride Brandi.  Her mother made a gorgeous array of 13 wedding cakes not to mention the utterly cool setup of chocolate groom’s cakes, one of which was suspended from a crane.  Did I mention my brother recently acquired his crane operator’s license?  Too cool!

    Jonathan is #7 of 14 children in our family, and now half of us are married.  In a show of symmetry that makes the world a more perfect place, exactly half of the girls and half of the boys are married.  Of the remaining 7, most are too young to be married so we’re not holding our breath.  Four are even younger than my oldest child.

    My in-laws blew in and out of town for the wedding, but we’re still looking forward to a couple more days of my grandparents’ company, and Uncle Lumberjack will be in town for another week.

    I’ll add photos to this post as soon as I can find a card reader, sort through them, and download a way to crop and reduce the resolution on this particular computer.  Can you tell we’re having technical challenges?  Every geeky fiber within me cringes at the confession, so I will quickly change the subject.

    New subject:  Puppies!  Can you say, “aaawwww”?


    Jonathan and his beautiful bride Brandi:

    26213 1419399203417 1185765038 31329999 2124190 n 7 down, 7 to go

    Our oldest brother, Kyle, and Jonathan’s best man.  He’s just too cool.

    26213 1419401843483 1185765038 31330036 6164344 n 7 down, 7 to go

    The four brothers, plus an almost-brother, front and center.

    26213 1419401123465 1185765038 31330034 3194653 n 7 down, 7 to go

    Guess who reads too much Calvin & Hobbes?

    26213 1419396603352 1185765038 31329964 948824 n 7 down, 7 to go

    Just a few close family members from the groom’s side:

    26213 1419395963336 1185765038 31329958 3205657 n 7 down, 7 to go

    “Hey, let’s get a picture of all the Perry’s.”

    “Let’s kiss him!”

    26213 1419318841408 1185765038 31329665 3124108 n 7 down, 7 to go

    26213 1419365162566 1185765038 31329850 6931901 n 7 down, 7 to go

    Too cute:

    26213 1419342001987 1185765038 31329771 829125 n 7 down, 7 to go

    More cuteness:

    26213 1419383523025 1185765038 31329894 7770483 n 7 down, 7 to go

    and more…

    26213 1419391443223 1185765038 31329944 2569198 n 7 down, 7 to go

    Kait, looking beautiful as usual:

    26213 1419408363646 1185765038 31330063 7601383 n 7 down, 7 to go

    The Coghlan clan:

    26213 1419353122265 1185765038 31329820 6189227 n 7 down, 7 to go

    The cakes, handcrafted by the bride’s mother:

    26213 1419407443623 1185765038 31330060 1223978 n 7 down, 7 to go

    Check out my hunney’s album on facebook for more photos.


    4 Moms 35 Kids: outings with only little ones

    Free nursing cover, carseat cover, sling, and more!: Just pay shipping

    See how the other 3 moms wrangle their little ones here:

  • Headmistress (The Common Room)
  • Connie (Smockity Frocks)
  • Kimberly (Raising Olives)

  • MY STORY

    Once upon a time, many years ago, my children were all little.  I had 3, 3yo and under.  Then I had 4, 4yo and under.  Then I had 5, 6yo and under.  Then I had 6, 8yo and under.  For most of that period, we had no family within a thousand miles, and hubby usually worked 2 or even 3 jobs.

    He helped as he was able and available, but during the day I was on my own.  I could have run errands during the evenings when he was home but I enjoyed his company and didn’t want to disappear on his night off. Yes, I still enjoy his company, and because our children are old enough stay home alone now we can meet in town and run errands together.

    Because of all this, back then I chose to do all of my errands and grocery shopping with the children in tow.  It was relatively easy with one or two. When the third arrived, I worried about the logistics but we quickly figured out what worked for us.  Ditto for #4.

    Each time I knew that I was doing fine with the current number of children, but wondered what I would do when the next arrived.  Each time, God provided an answer that seemed clear and simple in retrospect.  I won’t tell you exactly how to handle your current number of children in a busy parking lot, but I will say that a well-trained brood can go nearly anywhere with less trouble than you might expect.

    Along the way, I learned a few rules that make everything go smoother.  Many of these still apply even with older children along for the ride.

    Mom’s Rules for Shopping with Little Ones

    (revised and expanded from this post of days bygone)

    BEFORE YOU GO IN:

  • Don’t over-schedule. If all the children are with me, I do not expect to accomplish 8 other errands on the day that we get groceries.
  • Don’t shop hungry. This applies to anyone who is along for the trip, not just the one with the checkbook. Hungry kids are distracted, whiny, wheedling, and generally unpleasant. This can rapidly make Mom unpleasant.  Eat before you leave the house.  If you fail to do so, bite the bullet and buy an inexpensive nourishing snack.  We like bananas.
  • On the other hand, don’t load them up on sugary treats while you are out and then wonder why they aren’t behaving. Excessive sugar doesn’t excuse sin, but you can bet you’ll see more of it.
  • Don’t leave the house if you or the children are cranky. There are several things you ought to do when you’re having a cranky day (repent and pray, for starters) but going out in public with several young children is definitely on the “don’t” list.
  • Before disembarking from the vehicle, give a pep talk and run through Mom’s Rules of Order, below.
  • Rather than looking for the closest parking space, park near a cart return. You can put the youngest and/or the infant seat right into the cart. The toddler can ride on the front of the cart. The 4 and 5 year old can hold the sides as you cross the parking lot. And when you’re done and the children are in the vehicle, you can easily dispose of the cart without going too far from your little ones.
  • INSIDE THE STORE:

    • Have them help, and vary the routine. I stop the cart at the ends of some aisles and send a pair of children for what we need. Sometimes I will go after items myself, taking along 1 or 2 small helpers to carry items back to the cart. Other times I will bark out orders as we pass through the aisles: “Lydia, grab 3 cans of spaghetti sauce.” “Natalie, get the animal crackers.” ” Deanna and Kaitlyn, choose 3 lbs. of nice tomatoes.” This works more and more as the children get older, but even the little ones recognize many of the items we buy and they love to help.
    • Move quickly when possible. Make them pay attention and work (just a little) to keep up with you. Bored children are trouble waiting to happen.
    • Don’t be afraid to use 2 carts. I often did this when they were all little.  Others will stare slack-jawed at your mad shopping skilz, but it’s really not that hard.   Put two or three small children in the front cart where you can watch them and steer with one hand – it’s relatively easy to steer if the children are light and no one rides on the front end of the front cart.  Then pull the heavy grocery cart behind you.
    • Have them help you unload the groceries onto the conveyor belt. Like having them help at home, this may not save you time in the beginning. But it keeps them busy and out of trouble, and it is training for when they are big enough to actually be helpful.
    • Do your best to keep the children strictly in order. It is so much easier to keep order than to restore order! Find what works, and consistently train toward that set of rules.

    MOM’S RULES OF ORDER:

    1. No Touching
    2. No Asking

    See? Wasn’t that easy?  Just 2 rules.  This does not mean that they shouldn’t remind me that we’re low on diapers or make a menu suggestion, but they all know that if they ask for popsicles or a box of donuts, the answer is going to be “No.” If, on the other hand, they all stand quietly and stare longingly at popsicles or a box of donuts (especially Little Chocolate Donuts), I am easily persuaded.

    I can’t stress enough: training is everything! It will get easier as you and the children practice. I still find that we have to freshen up on training and manners if we don’t go out often enough, so don’t get discouraged if the first few times are stressful. It does get easier, and you will figure out what works for you and your children.

    Oh, and just about the time you feel like you’ve really got it all figured out, everything changes and you’ll need a totally new system.  Just like laundry.  I just thought you should know that ahead of time.


    4moms35kids 4 Moms 35 Kids: outings with only little onesUpcoming topics for 4 Moms 35 Kids

    • April 1 Kitchen/food budgeting
    • April 8 Menu planning/shopping
    • April 15 Cooking from scratch – what you make from scratch and how you get it all done
    • April 22 Recipe swap – We’ll all post a couple of our favorite, budget friendly, feed a crowd recipes and a Mr. Linky so that readers can participate by contributing their own recipes.  When you share your link on one of our blogs, it will show up on all 4!  How fun is that?!

    Past topics:

    • March 18 - Live-blog day, in which all 4 of us live-blog a real day in our home.  Find out what we really do all day.  It’s our own reality show, just for you.  Who needs TV?

    The Baby Conference

    Free nursing cover, carseat cover, sling, and more!: Just pay shipping

    bc s The Baby ConferenceVision Forum has a lot of conferences around the country and throughout the year, but this newest one tickles my fancy and it’s going to be right in San Antonio: The Baby Conference!

    I can’t wait until the details are hammered out and shared publicly!  The speakers include both men and women, some of whom I count as personal friends and all of whom I highly respect.  There is also a panel of ladies who will take questions from the audience at some point during the conference.  Scroll to the bottom of the page to see who’s participating in that. Really.  Take a look.

    Even though our baby is due just 5 weeks before the conference, I’m pretty sure we’ll be attending.  Will you?

    Sleep question

    Free nursing cover, carseat cover, sling, and more!: Just pay shipping

    Sonya asked:

    …How does it work in your family when you all sleep in one or two rooms and you have little ones that have sleep issues. Although my little ones do generally sleep well at night, if we have teething going on or an illness, there can be a lot of night disturbances…and it seems with more children, the more potential for someone to be “off” causing potentially a poor night’s rest for everyone. How do you handle this? Do the older ones sleep right through? Do they handle the night waking? Do you? Do any of the older ones come to resent having little ones with sleep issues always in their rooms? Thanks for any thoughts on how to handle this!

    We have found that children (like adults) can adapt to the situation they are in.  With several children sharing a room, there are going to be some learning experiences.  Some children will take longer than others to fall asleep.  Some will wake up during the night.  Some will be heavier sleepers than others.

    Adjusting to new roommates – whether it’s just one or 6 – doesn’t happen overnight, and it’s still a work in progress in our home, but I think it’s an important part of learning to live with sinners while exercising love toward one another.

    Our light sleepers have learned to sleep through minor disturbances or to drift off easily after they are awakened. They are also learning to exercise courtesy if they simply can’t sleep: keep the light off and don’t wake up the others!  Our older children (and even the younger ones) have learned to help soothe a troubled baby back to sleep, or bring the baby to me if necessary.

    When one child is having a really bad night – rare, since they tend to become very good sleepers when they have to sleep through the disturbances of others – we all pull together.  We naturally take turns, since the person least in need of sleep tends to wake first.

    When it comes to having the older ones help out, I try not to take advantage of my older children, but this is valuable training for future mothers as well.  It’s a wonderful season in life for hubby and me to have so many helpers around us, and I remember how thankful I was as a new mom to my parents for teaching me to help out.

    4 Moms, 35 Kids: the schedule

    Free nursing cover, carseat cover, sling, and more!: Just pay shipping

    4moms35kids 4 Moms, 35 Kids: the schedule

    I was half-kidding when I asked my rhetorical question about instituting a new schedule before this post, but not because I wanted to impress you with our superior levels of productivity.

    It’s because this mom of nearly-10 has become shockingly undisciplined.  After those early years of madcap panic trying to get through the days and weeks and months with all the members of the family receiving at least a meal a day and a bath a week, now I’m surrounded by helpers with able bodies and sound minds.  I have 7 children who can tie their own shoes, and what’s more they can find and tie shoes for those who can’t.

    I’m not telling you this in a show of false humility.  There is some real humility, because I know we could make much better use of our time.  But my main purpose in explaining this is to encourage mothers whose children are all or mostly below the age of shoe-tying.  Your days will get easier.  You will, someday, struggle more with the temptation to laziness than the temptation to fall into a teary heap on the kitchen floor because there’s just not enough time in the day to do the absolute bare necessities.

    The four of us promised to tell you about our schedules.  Here’s mine.  We don’t have strict times attached to each event because we don’t usually watch the clock except at the beginning and end of the day.  We just have a progression of events that will be done. Well, in theory at least.  On a good day.

    This is what our typical day looks like:

    7:00 – Rise time. Help with Dad’s coffee, breakfast and lunch, if necessary.

    7:30 – Dad leaves.  Other stuff starts:

    Shower/dress – only those who rise early are allowed a morning shower.  This doesn’t stop the late risers from asking for an exception every single morning. When I say no, they typically make up for their laziness by spending an hour getting dressed, not realizing that it will therefore be an hour later in the day before they have free time to take a shower.

    Bible – private reading for all.  I usually read in my bedroom.  If little ones join me, I read aloud with an admonition that they must be still and quiet or leave the room.

    Jobs - clean up the house.  Everyone has assigned areas and chores.  This includes bedrooms, laundry, living areas, animals, etc.  Most jobs get done and re-done throughout the day as necessary.

    Breakfast – usually prepared by a volunteer or assigned to somebody who looks idle.

    School – there is no time attached to this; it’s simply the next thing on the list.  But I will confess that it rarely starts before 10:00 and continues after lunch.

    Lunch – some people eat lunch at noon.  We scoff at such predictable behavior.  We eat when we get hungry, or when we see somebody with a particularly appealing snack, or when the little kids get whiny.

    2:00 – also known as the Hallelujah hour. A general shout goes up (Guess what time it is?  Two o’clock!!!) and naps commence for the wee ones, quiet time for the bigger small people.  ”Quiet time” really means nap time for those who don’t necessarily fall asleep but still get tired or cranky after a long day.  Yes, that may include me.  Quit snickering.  You know you’re just jealous.

    Quiet Timers are allowed to choose one or two books and are required to be still and quiet for 60-90 minutes.  I sometimes lie down with one of the littles while the big girls finish up their school.

    Afternoon projects - This includes 1 hour of yard work.  Right now we’re working on clearing the woods around the house, and making beautiful progress in areas that we couldn’t even walk through before.  I rarely take part in this.  The kids are probably going to either laugh or seethe at the term, “rarely” which indicates that I do, indeed, help on occasion.

    Free time - Do you really need an explanation here?  This is for those productive individuals who are done with jobs, Bible and school before dinner.   Don’t feel bad for them.  Anyone who wants free time generally has it – the question is whether they are good little children who finish their work first, or bad little children who goof off all day and find themselves scrambling to finish their work before dinner.

    6:30 – Our officially scheduled time for dinner, though we love to wait for Dad if he expects to be home any time before 7:30.

    Dishes for the big ones, baths for the little people.

    Family time - this often includes surfing the internet as a team event, and wild-eyed herds of children stampeding toward the sound of youtube.  It sometimes includes Dad or Mom swatting at 6 or 8 people at a time and muttering, “Get off me!  Let me breathe, people!  I’ll call you when the video is loaded!”

    Family worship

    Bed - The little ones are usually in bed by 9:30 or 10, while the big people in the house (11 and up) try to have lights out by 11 or so.  I can hear the collective gasp out there.  That’s just what works for us these days.  When all the kids were little and Dad came home every night at 5:15, bedtime was 8:00.  If we did that now, some of them might not see him for days on end.


    See the schedules for the other 3 moms and 25 kids:

    This post is also part of the Carnival of Homeschooling.

    Guess who else is blogging about a daily schedule?  Simple Mom is re-running her classic post called 20 Tips for Finding your Routine with Kids.

    4 Moms, 35 Kids

    Free nursing cover, carseat cover, sling, and more!: Just pay shipping

    parenting125 4 Moms, 35 Kids

    NEW: Get our best parenting posts plus answers to several never-posted questions from 4 perspectives all in one user-friendly format: Buy our new ebook 4 Moms of 35+ Kids Answer Your Parenting Questions!

    If you ever wondered how we moms of many do it, here’s your chance to peek into 4 of our homes every Thursday.  gulp…wait…whose idea was this?

    4moms35kids 4 Moms, 35 Kids

    Please join us at each of our blogs (including here!) every Thursday.  Try not to laugh too hard when we post about our daily schedules next week.  And if I should happen to institute a new daily schedule on the Tuesday before that post, would you want to know or do you want to labor under the delusion that our household is always run in an orderly and efficient manner?  It’s just a hypothetical question, of course…


    Contributors:

    Connie is a Christian homeschooling mom to 8 rowdy children, wife for 25 years to one hunky golf pro, wiper of noses, writer of stories. She blogs regularly at Smockity Frocks.

    Kimberly is a second generation homeschooling mom to her 10 children.  She is married to an amazingly patient husband, who also happens to be a magnificent father. Their family’s primary goal is to glorify God and to raise children who will do the same. For that reason they attempt to examine every decision that they make in the light of God’s word.  Many of their decisions may seem strange to the world and they’re good with that.  Kimberly blogs at Raising Olives.

    The Deputy Headmistress is is shy and blogs behind a pseudonym which she intended to be amusing and somewhat self-depreciatory. She and the Headmaster locked eyes in a high school Sunday School class in 1979 when she was 17, and they have been merrily married since 1982, in spite of the fact that at 17 the DHM nearly got the HM beaten up by her other boyfriend, and at 20 she nearly got him arrested by a cop from church. Happily God helped her grow up, and He is gracious and forgiving, and so is the Headmaster.
    They have seven wonderful Progeny both by birth and adoption, two handsome sons-in-law, one adorable grandson, and two precious unofficial foster sons, ages 5 and 3, who live with them about half the time. They have been homeschooling since 1988. The DHM, and
    occasionally some of the Progeny, blog regularly about politics, family life, living in the country, books, music, cabbages, kings, and living the countercultural Christian life at The Common Room.

    KimC (that’s me) is a Christian, a wife, big sister to 13 sibs, and the slightly-crunchy homeschooling mom of 10 children.  She lives with her very large family in a very small house in south Texas and finds peace in chocolate and blogging at Life in a Shoe: the methods and madness of one family of 12.

    Her family shares their little house on the hill with dogs, gerbils, snakes, and tarantulas, and an 11 year old cat named Tim.  The chickens stay outside.  Usually.


    4 Moms posts by KimC:

    2012

    2011

    2010

    parenting125 4 Moms, 35 KidsBuy the book: 4 Moms of 35+ Kids Answer Your Parenting Questions!

    Big family photos; and family comes to my rescue once again

    Free nursing cover, carseat cover, sling, and more!: Just pay shipping

    Sunday night, we drove 85 miles for a complete family get-together.  Even our Tennessee sister was in town with her husband and 2 children.  Mom and Dad, all 14 sibs, in-laws and a soon-to-be sister-in-law and 23 grandchildren were there.  Hubby was the only one missing since he’s out of town, but we’ll photoshop him in.

    The last time all the grandchildren were together, there were something like 17.  We obviously need to do this more often.

    We visited and ate; then we ate some more.  After a dinner of spaghetti, the children were still miraculously clean so we took some group photos.  Try to imagine that!

    We started with the full group photo, taking plenty of pictures on 3 separate cameras in the hopes that somebody would capture one shot where nobody was blinking.  But we didn’t stop there.  That was just the beginning.

    all1 300x157 Big family photos; and family comes to my rescue once again

    We did pictures of Grandma and the grandkids; Grandpa and the grandkids; Grandma and Grandpa and the grandkids; Grandpa and the grand-sons, Grandma and the grand-sons, etc.  You get the idea.  It was a riot.

    bT*xJmx*PTEyNjMzNDU3OTQ2OTEmcHQ9MTI2MzM*NTc5ODEwMCZwPTEyNTIxJmQ9Jmc9MSZvZj*w Big family photos; and family comes to my rescue once again

    jonas runs1 300x201 Big family photos; and family comes to my rescue once again

    bT*xJmx*PTEyNjMzNDU3NDEzNTAmcHQ9MTI2MzM*NTc*NDU2MyZwPTEyNTIxJmQ9Jmc9MSZvZj*w Big family photos; and family comes to my rescue once again

    grandkids 300x201 Big family photos; and family comes to my rescue once again

    Look how young my mom looks here. Can you spot the mother of 14 and grandmother of 23?
    bT*xJmx*PTEyNjMzNDU4NzkzNjkmcHQ9MTI2MzM*NTg4MjI5MSZwPTEyNTIxJmQ9Jmc9MSZvZj*w Big family photos; and family comes to my rescue once again

    young grandma 300x201 Big family photos; and family comes to my rescue once again

    There are only six boys, but when it came time to take pics of just the grandsons and grandparents, the fidgeting never ended. And I don’t just mean the kids.

    bT*xJmx*PTEyNjMzNDYwNzI3MDYmcHQ9MTI2MzM*NjExNjQyOCZwPTEyNTIxJmQ9Jmc9MSZvPWM4NWRhMGY4ZDc5ZjQwNGFhNTE1ZTM5MzY4MzI4YzVjJm9mPTA= Big family photos; and family comes to my rescue once again

    blur1 300x201 Big family photos; and family comes to my rescue once again

    bT*xJmx*PTEyNjMzNDYxMzMwNjkmcHQ9MTI2MzM*NjEzNzM2NCZwPTEyNTIxJmQ9Jmc9MSZvPWM4NWRhMGY4ZDc5ZjQwNGFhNTE1ZTM5MzY4MzI4YzVjJm9mPTA= Big family photos; and family comes to my rescue once again

    blur2 300x201 Big family photos; and family comes to my rescue once again

    bT*xJmx*PTEyNjMzNDYxNTkwOTEmcHQ9MTI2MzM*NjE2MzU5OCZwPTEyNTIxJmQ9Jmc9MSZvZj*w Big family photos; and family comes to my rescue once again

    blur3 300x201 Big family photos; and family comes to my rescue once again

    bT*xJmx*PTEyNjMzNDYyMjczNDImcHQ9MTI2MzM*NjI*NDg5MyZwPTEyNTIxJmQ9Jmc9MSZvPWM4NWRhMGY4ZDc5ZjQwNGFhNTE1ZTM5MzY4MzI4YzVjJm9mPTA= Big family photos; and family comes to my rescue once again

    blur4 300x201 Big family photos; and family comes to my rescue once again

    bT*xJmx*PTEyNjMzNDYzMDczODUmcHQ9MTI2MzM*NjMxNDQ1OSZwPTEyNTIxJmQ9Jmc9MSZvPWM4NWRhMGY4ZDc5ZjQwNGFhNTE1ZTM5MzY4MzI4YzVjJm9mPTA= Big family photos; and family comes to my rescue once again

    blur5 300x201 Big family photos; and family comes to my rescue once again

    The girls did much better.

    bT*xJmx*PTEyNjMzNDkwNDE*MzgmcHQ9MTI2MzM*OTA*NTM2NiZwPTEyNTIxJmQ9Jmc9MSZvPWM4NWRhMGY4ZDc5ZjQwNGFhNTE1ZTM5MzY4MzI4YzVjJm9mPTA= Big family photos; and family comes to my rescue once again

    girls1 300x201 Big family photos; and family comes to my rescue once again

    bT*xJmx*PTEyNjMzNDkwOTkzNDMmcHQ9MTI2MzM*OTEwMjQ3NSZwPTEyNTIxJmQ9Jmc9MSZvZj*w Big family photos; and family comes to my rescue once again

    girls2 300x201 Big family photos; and family comes to my rescue once again

    bT*xJmx*PTEyNjMzNDkxMjU1NTkmcHQ9MTI2MzM*OTEzMTAyMCZwPTEyNTIxJmQ9Jmc9MSZvPWM4NWRhMGY4ZDc5ZjQwNGFhNTE1ZTM5MzY4MzI4YzVjJm9mPTA= Big family photos; and family comes to my rescue once again

    girls3 300x201 Big family photos; and family comes to my rescue once again

    girls4 300x201 Big family photos; and family comes to my rescue once again

    girls5 300x201 Big family photos; and family comes to my rescue once again

    No, wait.  They didn’t.

    We took pics of Mom and Dad with their 14 offspring.  Hey Jonathan, cute.  Real cute. Kaitlyn had to use some mad photoshop skilz to make this photo presentable.  I think you know what I’m talking about.  Kyle, you had a hand in it too.  Don’t think we didn’t catch you.

    all 300x163 Big family photos; and family comes to my rescue once again

    Mom with just the 10 girls; Dad with the 10 girls, Mom with the 4 boys…after all the permutations we could think of with that particular group, we did a few pics with just the 10 sisters and (I think) some with just the 4 boys.

    bT*xJmx*PTEyNjMzNDY4NTIxOTQmcHQ9MTI2MzM*Njg1NTIxMCZwPTEyNTIxJmQ9Jmc9MSZvZj*w Big family photos; and family comes to my rescue once again

    mom and sisters 300x181 Big family photos; and family comes to my rescue once again

    bT*xJmx*PTEyNjMzNDY5MjE4NDEmcHQ9MTI2MzM*NjkyNTE4NyZwPTEyNTIxJmQ9Jmc9MSZvZj*w Big family photos; and family comes to my rescue once again

    guys 300x186 Big family photos; and family comes to my rescue once again

    All my sisters waiting for the pregnant lady to get out of the bathroom. See what a big spot they saved me? Nice, girls. Are you trying to tell me something?

    bT*xJmx*PTEyNjMzNDY5NzQzNzQmcHQ9MTI2MzM*Njk3NzU2NyZwPTEyNTIxJmQ9Jmc9MSZvZj*w Big family photos; and family comes to my rescue once again

    sisters waiting 300x201 Big family photos; and family comes to my rescue once again

    We all took turns blinking for the camera, see?

    bT*xJmx*PTEyNjMzNDc*MjQ5ODEmcHQ9MTI2MzM*NzQyOTk1NyZwPTEyNTIxJmQ9Jmc9MSZvPWM4NWRhMGY4ZDc5ZjQwNGFhNTE1ZTM5MzY4MzI4YzVjJm9mPTA= Big family photos; and family comes to my rescue once again

    sisters blink1 300x201 Big family photos; and family comes to my rescue once again

    bT*xJmx*PTEyNjMzNDczOTA4MDkmcHQ9MTI2MzM*NzM5Mzg4NSZwPTEyNTIxJmQ9Jmc9MSZvZj*w Big family photos; and family comes to my rescue once again

    sisters blink2 300x201 Big family photos; and family comes to my rescue once again

    bT*xJmx*PTEyNjMzNDczMjUwMzAmcHQ9MTI2MzM*NzM2NDc2NSZwPTEyNTIxJmQ9Jmc9MSZvPWM4NWRhMGY4ZDc5ZjQwNGFhNTE1ZTM5MzY4MzI4YzVjJm9mPTA= Big family photos; and family comes to my rescue once again

    sisters blink3 300x201 Big family photos; and family comes to my rescue once again

    Can you spot the grandma in this one?

    bT*xJmx*PTEyNjMzNDc*NzQyNTYmcHQ9MTI2MzM*NzQ4MjM1MCZwPTEyNTIxJmQ9Jmc9MSZvPWM4NWRhMGY4ZDc5ZjQwNGFhNTE1ZTM5MzY4MzI4YzVjJm9mPTA= Big family photos; and family comes to my rescue once again

    sisters and mom 300x200 Big family photos; and family comes to my rescue once again

    Finally, we were done.  We visited and ate some more.  Then it was time to go.  Since it was night and we had a 90 minute drive, my brother told me he and his family would follow us home just to make sure we didn’t have trouble along the way.  The kids wanted to know what sort of trouble we could possibly have.  I smiled and shrugged.  ”Oh, I don’t know.  Flat tire, maybe.  We won’t run out of gas since the tank is full, but it’s good that Kyle is looking out for us while Dad is gone.”

    A few minutes down the road, Kyle called to apologize.  He had forgotten that he had to go home a different way to pick up a cousin.  He couldn’t follow us, but we had plenty of other family heading in the same direction.  I assured him we’d be fine and kept driving.  Why would I worry?  Our van is older but has given us very little trouble over the years.  I drove all the way to Missouri last summer with the children.  Tonight we were just going 85 miles south.

    Not 5 minutes later, I glanced at the dash and realized the van was overheating.  We passed a clock and thermometer: 26 degrees.  Ironic, no?

    I called Dad, who was just a few minutes ahead of us in his big van.  He started making calls to see who was still behind us while I coasted into a gas station.  I checked and found we were low on coolant so I bought a jug of premixed antifreeze, hoping that would prove to be the only problem.

    While I was adding it, Tennessee sister and her family pulled in next to us.  We could hardly cram into their single extra seat, but it was nice to see family.  We chatted a bit while she nursed her baby, and I went back into the gas station for a second jug.  While I was paying, I ran into my 11yo brother, 14yo sister and Mom.  They had come back to see if we needed help.  I had family coming out of the woodwork.

    With the radiator filled and the reservoir topped off, I started the engine again.  It had cooled a bit in the last 20 minutes but as I watched the heat began to rise again.  The van would have to stay.  Dad and Kyle would bring the flatbed trailer up tomorrow to get my van.

    We emptied the perishables and valuables into my sister’s trunk and piled the children into Dad’s 12 passenger van.  It was a bit crowded but not too bad since they only had 3 of their children riding with them.

    On the long trip home Dad commented that he had been kicking himself for driving the van when he could have driven Mom’s smaller vehicle and saved on gas.  Now he understood.  God knew we’d be needing the extra seats on the way home.

    That was a lot of work

    Free nursing cover, carseat cover, sling, and more!: Just pay shipping

    I’m tired just from watching the kids work the past 2 days!  They weren’t satisfied with what they accomplished Wednesday, so on Thursday they begged to be allowed to take down the other set of bunkbeds and move the dressers into the final bedroom.  In the process, we filled a 40 gallon trash bag with goods for the thrift store.  We also thinned our books a bit in the hopes of making room for the stragglers that are still scattered about the house.  We have 3 boxes to add to our For Sale page, and I took 3 boxes to the thrift store.  Now our library is complete – until we’re ready to build shelves on the walls and finish the floor.  Heh heh.  I’ll add it to my list of future unfinished projects.

    DSC05300copy 300x201 That was a lot of work

    The bedroom is very similar to the final layout we have planned but of course the wooden bunks will extend nearly 11.5 feet instead of a measly 6 feet like the shelves they’re using now, so they won’t need the twin mattress on the floor.  We’ll also be finishing the floor, and maybe we’ll even get fancy and do baseboards and trim the windows like them-thar city folks.

    DSC05307copy 300x201 That was a lot of work

    DSC05303copy 300x201 That was a lot of work

    The living room is cleaner than it’s been in years.  It almost looks like it did when we first moved in, before we had to time to accumulate our current abundance of worldly goods.  Part of me wants to fill in that empty spot with a nice end table and fill the walls with family pictures, but part of me is reveling in the emptiness.

    DSC05305copy 300x201 That was a lot of work

    At any rate, we seem to have done most of the prep work for our Great Idea.  Everything is moved, rearranged, decluttered – well, sort of… there’s a lot more we could do.  I’m glad we won’t have to tackle all of this when we finally get to build our beds.  I had no idea what we were getting ourselves into!  Hey, I wonder if we could keep the storage shelves against the opposite wall in the bedroom.  Then we would have room to sleep 12 children.  We’d be set for years!   Who thinks I’m getting a little carried away?

    Crazy bunkbed update

    Free nursing cover, carseat cover, sling, and more!: Just pay shipping

    Well, it’s Wednesday and we haven’t started our crazy new bunkbeds yet, so I guess we’re not going to get it done this week but it’s not my fault! No, I’m not blaming morning sickness, though I might play that card soon enough.

    Right now I’m blaming hubby.  Well, sort of.  He insists that we launch our 2 e-books before we start yet another project.  They’re already done.  We just need to add a few images and decide on cover designs and choose a final title for the cookbook, and…well, maybe we’re not quite done.  But we’re so very close and we really want to cross the finish line on that project!

    In the meantime, we have a set of storage shelves that just happens to have the very dimensions we have proposed for our bunkbeds – 4 shelves, 2 feet wide, with 2 feet of headspace – so we’re taking down the bunkbeds in the middle bedroom and setting up the shelves in their place as a trial.

    By the way, when I say “we,” I mean the children are taking down the bunkbeds.

    disassembly 300x201 Crazy bunkbed update

    no bed 300x201 Crazy bunkbed update

    The kids will take turns sleeping on the shelves to make sure that they have enough space before we start constructing the official wooden beds with hinged storage, etc.

    Since the shelves will take so much less space than the old beds, we can also begin moving bookshelves into the middle bedroom, our future library.  If all goes well, our living room may feel far more spacious by the end of the day.  Or maybe the other bedroom.  Or my room.  I wonder how many bookcases we can fit in there right away?

    books 300x201 Crazy bunkbed update

    reloading 300x201 Crazy bunkbed update

    Oops.  We have a change of plans.  Or rather, a miscommunication.  The kids want to move as many bookcases as possible into the library right away and put the sleeping shelves into the bedroom where we will be building the wooden ones soon.   They’ll all start sleeping in one room tonight.  I’m ok with that!  It means I can get the shelves out of both the living room and my bedroom today!

    It took them all of 20 minutes to assemble the shelves with no real assistance from me.

    who needs directions 300x201 Crazy bunkbed update

    progress 300x201 Crazy bunkbed update

    almost done 300x201 Crazy bunkbed update

    And they couldn’t wait to pile on, even though it’s only officially room for 4 children.

    happy faces 200x300 Crazy bunkbed update

    But I’m not quite as happy as they are.  Does your living room look like this?

    mess 300x201 Crazy bunkbed update

    Crazy bunk bed update

    Free nursing cover, carseat cover, sling, and more!: Just pay shipping

    Wow!  Thanks for the great response!  We may be close to our goal already but we still have a lot books left, all discounted by at least 50%.  I just finished adding new ones and breaking up the Elsie set.

    Remember, everyone who places an order of any size will be entered in a drawing for a free Liberty Doll, also from the Vision Forum clearance shelf in the retail store.  Just go to our little online shop to place your order (it’s all easy and automated now, with Paypal checkout) and leave a comment here to let us know that you want to be entered.

    I’m hoping to start the grand project next week, but here’s a before image of the bedroom.  Ready?  Are you sure?  We’ll start gradually, by just peeking in the doorway.

    DSC05098 Medium 201x300 Crazy bunk bed update

    This currently houses 5 of the 9 children.

    On the left wall, we have the beds, with the dresser tucked behind the door.  Deanna sleeps in the twin bed on top.  Megan, Natalie and Perry share the full size bed on the bottom.   The cat sleeps wherever he falls.

    DSC05102 Medium 300x201 Crazy bunk bed update

    They all share the dresser and closet except Bethany, whose clothes are in my bottom drawer and a small section of my closet. The drawer with stuff hanging out?  That’s Natalie’s.  Let this be a lesson to her.

    Standing in the doorway and panning to the right, we see this.  This is after they cleaned their room.  I’m not kidding.

    DSC05099 Medium 300x201 Crazy bunk bed update

    Bethany sleeps in the playpen.  The basket is Megan’s laundry and other stuff that people have been nagging her to put away.  Let this be a lesson to her.

    The Boy’s toys are in a 5 gallon bucket, since most of them stand upright like wooden swords, foam swords, baseball bats, rifles, and popguns.

    The book shelves minus all their accompanying clutter will move into the other bedroom, which is going be converted to a library.  In the big jar on the right is Henry the tarantula  - Harry for short.

    DSC05103 Medium 300x201 Crazy bunk bed update

    He might move to the future library, along with the gerbils and snakes.  I’m sure the predators will enjoy watching the gerbils care for their juicy pink little babies.

    If all goes according to plan, we’ll soon have 4 navy-style bunks, each 11’3″ long.

    2426461183 e2f2198ce3 Crazy bunk bed update

    The top 3 will each be divided in half, one end 5’3″ and the other end 6′ long.   The bottom will be divided into three parts for the 3 littlest children.  Each bed will be hinged and will flip up to reveal a wide shallow storage area.  Mattresses will be 3″ memory foam with slipcovers made from sheets.  I have no plans for lockers like in the photo above, though the kids would love it.  I did set up an automatic search on craigslist so I’ll be notified if any lockers come up for sale in our area.

    After we tear down the current bunks but before we build the crazy new beds, we’ll need to finish the floor under that area.  This will include laying down another layer of plywood, leveling it, sealing with paint, and applying vinyl tile.  I’m hoping we can also trim the window while we’re at it.

    So we’ll need to:

    1. develop a materials list
    2. disassemble and store the beds
    3. move the dresser
    4. buy building materials
    5. order mattress pads
    6. lay plywood
    7. apply leveling compound and wait for it to dry
    8. paint, and wait for it to dry
    9. lay tile
    10. measure, cut, and assemble the bunks
    11. paint bunks and wait for them to dry
    12. cut mattress pads to fit
    13. sew slipcovers
    14. finish the rest of the floor
    15. move the bookcases to the other bedroom
    16. move the other dresser into the bedroom
    17. disassemble and store the bunkbeds in the other (former) bedroom
    18. blog the first 16 steps

    Who thinks we can get this done in a week, starting next Monday?  Who thinks we actually will get it done in a week?  What about just the first 13 steps?  Who is laughing at me?

    Announcement

    Free nursing cover, carseat cover, sling, and more!: Just pay shipping

    When I posted about my grand idea, I mentioned that we were hoping you would help us pay for it.

    We’re nearly ready to get started, but we need your help with part of the fund raising:  we are releasing our first 2 e-books ever!  These have been in the works for a while, always on the back burner, but the prospect of our new BunkBeds has motivated me to finish them.  There’s a third one as well, but it’s far from done.   It was actually the first one I started.  Maybe if y’all are excited enough about the first 2, I’ll find the time to finish the other one.  icon smile Announcement

    Right now, we need your input on the cover for one, Big Family, Small House.

    We have drafted several designs, And each of us thinks our favorite is the best.  We want you to take sides help us choose.  Just to keep it fair and prevent you from choosing mine just because you like me best, we’ll assign numbers instead of names to the choices.

    big family3 199x300 Announcement

    moms last big fam 199x300 Announcement

    baby 199x300 Announcement

    your idea 199x300 Announcement

    So here’s the big question.  Please leave a comment if You have suggestions, opinions or input!

    Which cover should we use?

    View Results

    loading Announcement Loading ...