gone awry

What’s on the menu?

Current giveaway: Grandpa Jake's Campfire Cooker

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April 24, 2006 By kimc

Breakfast:

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Oatmeal with apples, raisins and cinnamon

Lunch:

6 lbs. of bologne & hotdogs
8 loaves of bread
6 gallons of milk

Dinner:

20 lbs. of pork spareribs, slow-cooked outside in the electric roaster then quickly BBQ’d on the grill
6 lbs. of boneless skinless chicken breasts
1 lb. of bacon – anyone got a good recipe to use this with the chicken breasts?

Breakfast tomorrow:

10 lbs. of various types of sausage
4 large cans of orange juice concentrate
the appliance repair-man’s heart; I could use a recipe for this as well

Can anyone guess what we discovered this morning between breakfast and lunch? Our gi-normous upright freezer quit working. Maybe I should have blogged on Saturday about how it wasn’t staying quite cold enough, so I had a repairman come out and check it. After all, I didn’t want to lose 80 lbs. of meat, etc.
He smiled condescendingly and showed me where the thermostat was located. He adjusted the thermostat and waited 10 minutes. He checked the temperature and found it at 25 degrees and falling, so obviously all was well. I paid for the service call and breathed a sigh of relief.
We were gone all day yesterday.
This morning, everything in the freezer is either completely or partially defrosted. We’ve had some problems with defrosting in the past due to the door being left open a crack, so I’m a good judge of just how long it takes to achieve this level of defrostification. Just to clarify, this was not one of those times; the door was not left open a crack.
However, based upon my extensive defrostification experience, I’m guessing the freezer quit working 90 seconds after the repairman left.
After I discovered the problem, I sat down and drank a very hot cup of coffee very slowly. This seemed like a better idea than what I really wanted to do at that particular moment. It also had far fewer long-term consequences.
Then the girls and I crammed everything that was still somewhat frozen into the little freezer on top of the fridge, and threw away everything that was gross and/or drippy. The roosters, who by all rights belong in the freezer, also scored a few choice scraps.
The rest went into the fridge or the electric roaster.
I still feel like killing something, but I won’t. The roosters are the most convenient targets and their carcasses would pose a new problem. I couldn’t exactly stick them in the freezer.
Maybe I should drink another cup of coffee. And chocolate. I definitely need chocolate. My chocolate chips were in the freezer and they defrosted, so I have to eat them, right? All of them. Good thing they’re dark chocolate chips.

Filed Under: food, gone awry 3 Comments

Pampa’s Goulash recipe

Current giveaway: Grandpa Jake's Campfire Cooker

April 10, 2006 By kimc

Although I have made this a few times over the years, I only recently learned the story behind the recipe.
My mother-in-law’s father was a painter with 7 daughters and a bad leg. Needless to say, the budget was always tight. He created this recipe as a treat for the family, using favorite ingredients to concoct a big pot of food that would feed 9 hungry mouths without breaking the budget.
Hubby requested this goulash for his birthday dinner, but he was gone at the Vision Forum Father Daughter Retreat on his birthday. So the following Tuesday, the girls and I surprised My Hardworkin’ Man. We multiplied the double recipe below by 4 and filled the 18 quart roaster, then took it to Vision Forum as lunch for ~40.
Well, that and 8 additional bags of fritos, 9 liters of pop, etc.
Thanks to trusty Alan and Hubby’s brother Benjamin, a cake and 5 quarts of ice cream magically showed up as well.
We were tickled and surprised at how insignificant events worked together to keep the lunch a surprise:

I was able to do a little unscheduled grocery shopping in a very unsuspicious manner – we conveniently ran out of several important staples before our monthly shopping. Normally, it’s not convenient to run out of cooking oil, peanut butter, butter, etc. But it was very helpful this time.
It would take much too long to explain this so have fun trying to put together the pieces of the puzzle, but due to an unexpected visit from my mom on the day before the lunch, her interesting choice of a parking space, her need for rabbit poo just as I was walking out the door, and a spur of the moment decision on my part, I managed not to have the van stranded at WalMart the day of the surprise lunch.
Even though I forgot to buy cheddar cheese when I went shopping for ingredients, and even though I couldn’t manage to get Hubby to stop at Costco for me w/o arousing suspicion, I *found* a block of cheddar in the refrigerator of exactly the right size. This is more surprising than it might sound, since I don’t buy cheddar in blocks and I don’t keep it in the fridge. In our house, cheese is nearly always purchased pre-shredded and popped right into the freezer.
I managed to hide 12 bags of fritos in our house. We have a small house. Hubby loves fritos. I won’t divulge where I hid them, since Hubby reads this and I might need the hiding space again someday.
Due to hubby’s own previous plans I was at Vision Forum the day before the lunch, enabling me to purchase and deliver several bags of last minute necessities.
This ponderously pregnant body managed to run out to the car, pop the trunk, carry 4 bags of pop, plates and paraphenalia into the Vision Forum lunchroom, hide it all in a closet, and scurry back to hubby’s desk – all while he was in the bathroom. This was necessary since all the stuff was in a car that I wouldn’t necessarily have access to the next day.
The little ones managed to not blab about the lunch. This was the real miracle. All else pales in comparison.

Goulash serves 8-10

2 lbs. of ground beef
1 onion, chopped
2 cups elbow macaroni
1 large (40 oz) can of Wolf Brand chili with beans (you can use homemade, but it won’t taste like Pampa’s)
chili powder to taste (we use 2-4 Tbs)
2 cups grated cheddar cheese
1 – 1 1/2 bags of fritos (we use Walmart’s brand @ $1/bag)

Brown ground beef with onion. Drain.
Meanwhile, in a large pot, cook elbow macaroni in salted water. When done, drain excess water, leaving just enough to reach top of macaroni. If this is too vague, drain it into a container and pour 2 cups back into the pot.
Now add all ingredients except fritos to the macaroni in the pot: ground beef, chili, chili powder to taste, and cheese. Stir, heat til cheese melts, and serve over fritos or stir fritos into pot just before serving.

Filed Under: food, gone awry, sweet lovin' 8 Comments

Counting my blessings (sometimes you gotta)

Current giveaway: Grandpa Jake's Campfire Cooker

March 28, 2006 By kimc

There are a lot of poop stories in my life.
This time it was Good Dog. Bad Dog left us when she was forced to sleep outside. I can only guess she sad-eyed one of the neighbors and found better circumstances. That’s how she ended up here in the first place. I’m very happy for her.
I awoke this morning to the sounds of the dog having an accident. That’s not a good feeling at 4:30 AM, esp. when the accident is of a magnitude to generate noises large enough to wake a person, and the noises are coming from a carpeted area.
It wasn’t a good feeling at the time, but it was a good thing. It took all of 10 minutes to clean (yes, I’m a pro) and several good things came of it:

I was wide awake; no lingering morning grogginess!
Hubby needed to be up in time to leave the house at 6 this morning (more than an hour earlier than usual), and we had forgotten to set the alarm back to the insane hour required.
I was able to serve hubby fresh homemade sausage gravy, eggs, and biscuits for breakfast – at 5:45 AM! (well…the biscuits were leftover from last night’s dinner)
I had plenty of time to make Crystal’s Carrot, Apple, Raisin, Coconut Muffins for the children’s breakfast, and oh my! are they good! Along with hard boiled eggs, breakfast was ready and waiting by 5:45. Needless to say, it will be thoroughly cooled before we eat this morning.
God gave me a cheerful attitude. Sometimes attitude is everything, you know?

Oh, are you wondering why hubby needed to leave so early? You never thought of asking, did you? I’ll tell you anyway:
As if a free trip Hawaii weren’t enough, his employer is now treating us to 6 weeks of fencing lessons.
I say “us” not because I am taking lessons (I’m not), but because it’s truly a treat to see him enjoy something so thoroughly. Is swordplay every man’s boyhood dream, or is it just my own hubby?

pf button Counting my blessings (sometimes you gotta)

Filed Under: gone awry 6 Comments

Remembrance: A Birth Story

Current giveaway: Grandpa Jake's Campfire Cooker

November 4, 2005 By kimc

We have all our children at home. By God’s grace, this has been possible every time. My labors are usually textbook-typical and uneventful, so we don’t have a problem with the fact that our midwives always seem to live an hour or more from our home.
But #6 was a little different. After 5 previous homebirths, we thought we knew the routine. My labors start off slow, gradually gather momentum, and there’s a baby at the end. We call the midwife once when we’re reasonably sure it’s not false labor, and again when we think it’s time for her to head our way.
With our 6th child, we suspected the labor was real as soon as it started – unusual in itself. Maybe that should have been the warning signal. Hubby encouraged me to have the midwife come right away but I hesitated because I didn’t want her to drive 60 winding country miles in the middle of the night for a false alarm. How could we know after just 4 or 5 contractions?
But after 4 or 5 more contractions, I took his advice and made the call. She picked up on my indecision, I think, but said she would gather her things and head our way.
Hubby and I dawdled about in front of the TV for a few more minutes, then I decided to get in the tub. I was getting uncomfortable already, and laboring in the tub helps me relax.
Hubby followed me up and hung about to see how I was doing. It had now been about 30 minutes since we called the midwife. I assured him I was fine, labor was moving along but still in the early stages. Could he go downstairs and make me some ice chips in the blender?
He set up an intercom so I could call if I needed him, and trotted down the stairs.
Two contractions later, I was puzzled and startled by feeling the baby quickly descend. Still in the tub, I reached for the intercom, but it was all static.
I called weakly for Perry, but couldn’t make it loud – that would hurt too much. I knew he would never hear me over the blender. As my next contraction started, I found myself pushing; I heard him shut off the blender but was a little too preoccupied to call him.
When the contraction ended, I called him again – over the blender. He still didn’t hear. “Oh well,” I thought. My last labor had been extremely long, and I had been a little apprehensive this time. “If God is letting me off the hook for the rest of this labor, I’m happy!”
With the next contraction, I finished pushing out the baby, right there in the tub.
I heard 19 month old Natalie in the next room, bouncing up and down in her playpen, squealing, “Baby! Baby!” Kaitlyn’s groggy voice replied: “…go to sleep…there’s no baby…”
With perfect timing to the end, Perry sauntered up the stairs carrying a bowl of ice chips just as I lifted the baby out of the water.
He took in the scene, and somehow his hands were empty the next instant. To this day, I don’t know where the bowl went.
“Where’s the birth kit?” he asked in a quiet voice. I thought it was a remarkably calm voice, but after comparing notes later I think “strangled” might be a better description.
I indicated the bathroom cabinet, and he pulled it out. He fumbled with the twist tie for several moments, then ripped the kit open like a bag of potato chips. Blue pads, disposable panties, and an umbilical clip flew through the air.
By the time the midwife arrived, I was comfortably nursing in my bed. Needless to say, we got a discount on her services.
P1010023 Remembrance: A Birth Story To this day, whenever I tell this story, 4 year old Becca is just astounded at the enormity of the coincidence: she born on the very day of her birthday!

Filed Under: birth stories, gone awry, photos, pregnancy/labor 21 Comments

Reasons to be thankful at 3 AM

Current giveaway: Grandpa Jake's Campfire Cooker

October 31, 2005 By kimc

What Happened:

On the last night of the Film Festival, I left early with the 6 younger children so that we could make it to church the following morning. Perry walked us to the car, then returned to the festival with the 12 year old. They were staying late to help clean up afterward.
I left him my cell phone, since he lost his last week (you haven’t seen it, have you?).
Although we starting the leaving process at 9, it was nearly 10 by the time we were in the van and leaving the parking garage. It was well after 11 when we finally got home.
We had inadvertantly left the 5 month old pup in the house all day, so we found a bit of a mess when we arrived home. She had shredded a toilet paper roll (Scott Tissue – that’s a lot of tissue on one roll!), an address book, a notepad, etc.
By the time we had unloaded the important items from the van (including several small children) and done a quick once-over sort of cleaning job in the house, it was after midnight. So much for getting to bed early, but we could still make it to church.
For some reason, I decided to disconnect the computer before going to bed; I normally leave it on the internet all the time since we don’t really use the house phone line.
At 1:00, hubby called to let me know they were done with the post-festival cleanup and heading home.
At 1:52, he called to tell me the car had given out on him. He said he had limped it to the Walmart parking lot 30 minutes away, and would I come pick him up? He had tried my brother’s house, but no one answered.
I woke up the children (easier said than done; I was nearly in tears by the time the 10 year old understood the situation), found as many shoes as I could, changed the bedwetter, and herded them to the van. By the time they were loaded and buckled in, it was 2:30.
We arrived home at 3:30 in the morning.

Reasons to be Thankful:

I didn’t need any caffeine to stay awake on the trip home, so I was able to have a quick nap before the fateful phone call.
The pup didn’t chew anything valuable (shoes come immediately to mind), or get into the trash.
The pup didn’t have an accident all day, even though there was food and water available.
Hubby decided to keep my cell phone.
I disconnected the computer from the house line so that hubby could get through.
His car made it 2/3 of the way home to a safe and convenient parking lot.
The children had fallen into bed fully dressed, with socks still on and shoes conveniently located nearby.
I didn’t have car trouble when I was driving at 2:30 AM with 6 children and no cell phone.
I didn’t have trouble staying awake – thanks in large part to the 10 year old chatterbox in the seat next to me.
The rest of the children slept peacefully all the way there and back.
I didn’t realize it until hubby reminded me at 3:30, but all of this happened the night that you set the clocks back, so we got an extra hour of sleep to help replace the hours we lost.
This is the first time I have ever had to get all the children out of bed in the middle of the night to go pick up hubby. If memory serves, my poor mother used to do this regularly due to difficult circumstances regarding jobs and vehicles.
Thanks to hubby’s determination, we did indeed make it to church the next morning.

One more thing to be thankful for: we are currently “in between” vehicles. Not in the usual sense, where you have less than you are accustomed to, but exactly the opposite: we recently bought our 15 passenger van, and we still have our very old and rusty but fully functional Suburban. So even though hubby’s car is down, I still get to use the van. Does life get any simpler? God is good!

pf button Reasons to be thankful at 3 AM

Filed Under: gone awry 4 Comments

Thank you Lord

Current giveaway: Grandpa Jake's Campfire Cooker

October 10, 2005 By kimc

God is so gracious!
I almost killed my husband Saturday. Not on purpose – I really, truly like him. I want to keep him.
He says it’s my fault; I say it’s his. Either way, we’re mostly just glad that he’s still around to argue about it.
Here’s what happened:
I was getting ready to follow him to take his car to the shop. I was in the 15 passenger van, he was heading for the little car.
As he walked away, he gave me the “just-a-sec” gesture, and mouthed the word, “wait.” I took it to mean, “Don’t-leave-me-behind-like-you-did-when-we-had-the-Caravan-and-it-broke-down-halfway-through-the-70-mile-trip.”
So I prepared to back out of the driveway, get faced in the right direction, and wait for him to lead on in his car.
On an impulse, before shifting into reverse, I looked around for him. He was not in his car. He was not between the van and his car. He was nowhere to be seen. I waited.
Then he crawled out from UNDER MY REAR PASSENGER TIRE.
Then we had a discussion.
I said that if I were sticking my head behind the wheel of a very large vehicle, I wouldn’t just mouth the word, “wait.” I would say something like,
“Put it in park and turn off the engine.
“Set the emergency break.
“Get out and lock all the doors.
“Now hand me the keys.
“I’m about to put my HEAD BEHIND THE REAR PASSENGER WHEEL, etc., etc.”
He shook his head and said I was such a girl; wait means wait. End of discussion.

Filed Under: gone awry, sweet lovin' 12 Comments

20 years ago

Current giveaway: Grandpa Jake's Campfire Cooker

October 10, 2005 By kimc

Today is the 20th anniversary of the day my family arrived in Texas.
Today is also the 20th anniversary of the day that we found our house flooded.
We started out in Portland, Oregon. On October 5, 1985, when I was 12, we said our tearful goodbyes to our grandparents and friends, and headed for Texas for Dad’s new job. We were all very excited.
About a mile down the road, we did a headcount.
We went back to Grandpa and Grandma’s house for the baby. Then we said bye again and headed for Texas.
Mom and Dad only had 6 children at the time, and were expecting #7. It was almost a family tradition: Mom was always pregnant when we moved.
We rode in the back of the old family van, with 1 large dog, no heat, and no seats. No heat, and we were about to cross the Rocky Mountains in October. Dad needed this job!
In Vail, Colorado, we had an impromptu family vacation while the van was being repaired. The alternator, I think. But this was just the beginning of the adventure. We spent a day or two playing in the snow and admiring the breathtaking scenery all around us. We had grown up in Portland, surrounded by snowcapped mountains, but now we were in them and on them. We had never seen anything so glorious!
When the van was ready, we put our coats back on and reluctantly crawled back in.
We crossed Utah, Arizona, New Mexico, and most of Texas without further incident.
As we pulled into Arlington on October 10th, 2 days behind schedule, the brakes went out.
The baby came down with tonsilitis.
And the house – our new house, our nice house – was entirely flooded, with water pouring down the driveway when we arrived. Apparently the last resident had left the washer hookup turned on after the utilities were turned off. When the utilities were turned on for us, the inevitable happened.
We checked into a motel, and October 10th came to an end.

Filed Under: gone awry, memories 6 Comments

Speed bumps, ticks and other hateful things

Current giveaway: Grandpa Jake's Campfire Cooker

September 29, 2005 By kimc

Well, this isn’t something I was excited about sharing, but it’s certainly a noteworthy event in my life right now. On Tuesday night, I bumped my tailbone really hard. I didn’t quite go into shock like I did the last time this happened, but I couldn’t help wondering: Is twice in 10 years excessive? It sure feels like it happens too often.
Two days later, it’s still quite painful. I now hate speed bumps with a special sort of passion formerly reserved for ticks and leeches.
There is a bright side to experiencing great pain and anguish every time you sit or lie down; I’m uncommonly motivated to, well, remain standing. Yesterday, once I made it out of bed, I didn’t sit down all day.
Boy, did I get a lot done.
Maybe God wants me to budget my computer time a little more carefully. I’m gonna play it safe and assume that’s what He wants, because if this is Lesson 1 then I don’t want Lesson 2.
I’ll try to keep up with my blogging, because I enjoy it, my husband likes my blog, and I want to set a good example for our young budding writers.
I will, however, try to resist the urge to check for new comments and email every 30 minutes throughout the day. I wonder if I can make it for a whole hour at a time?

pf button Speed bumps, ticks and other hateful things

Filed Under: gone awry 2 Comments

A touch of madness

Current giveaway: Grandpa Jake's Campfire Cooker

September 14, 2005 By kimc

Since the title to my blog promises a peek into the methods and madness of a big family, I thought I’d share what we were up to last week: we were sharing a virus. It began Sunday, with the 8 and 10 year old throwing up. I stayed home from church to take care of them.
By Monday, both were still a little pale and puny but feeling much better.
Tuesday was the day of the Vision Forum staff photo.
That story is recounted a little farther down my blog. Suffice it to say the baby threw up twice before we left the house, but we pressed on.
After the photo shoot, 5 of the children went on to Vision Forum with my husband (I love my husband’s family friendly employer!) while I headed to the dentist.
10 minutes after I left, he called me. He sounded a little tired. “Megan (the 8 year old) just threw up all over the warehouse floor. No, don’t come back. I just thought you’d want to know…”
By the time we all made it home, Megan was pale and definitely not hungry.
We went to bed.
An hour later, the 4 year old threw up on her bed, which she shares with 2 sisters.
Her sisters moved to the sofas, and my husband cleaned up while I helped her finish her business in the bathroom. She went back to bed.
20 minutes later, she threw up on the floor. We cleaned up.
20 minutes later, she threw up on the floor. We cleaned up.
20 minutes later, she threw up on the floor. We cleaned up.
You get the idea.
When dawn finally arrived, the 4 year old slept. The two oldest were not feeling well. I was not feeling well. By afternoon, we knew we were sick. We were just waiting for the fullness of time.
On Thursday, I was sick. My 10 and 12 year old were sick. The 4 year old was pale and puny, but better. The 5 year old was on the downhill slide, but not quite officially sick yet.
The baby was feeling much, much better. The baby had way too much fun while everyone was sick. My dear sweet husband came home and took care of us, and spent quite a while undoing most of the baby’s fun.
We went to bed.
An hour later, the 5 year old was officially sick. We cleaned up. To her credit, she did make it to the bathroom. She was the first, and Perry gave her a cash reward for not throwing up on the carpet.
An hour later, she threw up. The 12 year old stood outside the bathroom, waiting, and threw up.
20 minutes later, the 5 year old threw up.
20 minutes later…you get the idea.
Friday, we rested and cleaned. The carpets smelled a little funny.
Saturday was Perry’s turn.
By Sunday, we were all well.
I am counting our blessings:

We are all healthy.
We had plenty of time to read while sick
It was a 24 hour virus.
Nobody threw up on anyone else’s hair. That never happened in your family? You should be thankful.
This was our first family virus in nearly 3 years.
Nobody threw up at the staff photo shoot, or on their clothes just before the shoot.
We had our Labor Day cookout early this year.
Nobody threw up in the Suburban, which we will be putting on the market in the coming weeks.
We saved on the food bill (ok, maybe that’s stretching it…)
The carpets are temporary scraps. We are still completing our house and haven’t finished the flooring.

I’m almost – but not quite – ashamed that so many of my blessings have to do with where the vomit landed, but God understands that these things matter to us.

I’m sure there are many more blessings in our recent illness, and I’m equally sure that my mind will shift away from the right-under-your-nose-in-the-flesh sort of blessings after the carpet stops smelling funny. This is what I’m thankful for right now, and I’ll thank God for these blessings now as well as the more “spiritual” ones later.