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Ultrasound results: It’s a…!

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I’ve been holding out on y’all.

You might know that I had an ultrasound last week, and I haven’t publicly announced the baby’s gender yet.  We haven’t known ahead of time with any of our living children, so I felt like I had to do something special.  I couldn’t just say it.  I had to be creative, and funny, and say it in some special way.  I didn’t know how I should say it, but I knew it would be anticlimactic to just come out and say it.  Right?  So I waited, and thought about it.

And waited.  And thought.

And waited.  And the longer I waited, the more special I knew it had to be, so I had to think even longer – and that meant more waiting.

Tomorrow will be a week since we found out, and I’m just now getting around to telling. And unless you have a better idea, I’m just going to say it.

Do you have a better idea?

Oh – I should mention that I did post an update to an older post in which I announced the baby’s gender.  It’s in a very logical place, so you could probably find it if you looked.

But I’ve given up on the idea of being cute or creative. I’m just going to tell the story straight. I’ll tell you about the ultrasound, with everything we learned there as I remember it.  We’re hard at work on household improvement projects again this week, but I’ll publish this now and then publish updates as I am able add to the post.

Ultrasound

IMAG0712 300x249 Ultrasound results: Its a...!I was plagued by the little voice in the back of my head, whispering about the possibility of twins.  The thought of twins wasn’t a plague – I would be thrilled.  But the endless wondering was driving me mad.  My midwife assured me she saw no real reason to think I might be carrying twins, and I believed her, but still the voice nagged at me.

Suddenly, I realized there might be a way to find out without shelling out the cash for an unnecessary ultrasound.  A friend who used to volunteer at a local crisis pregnancy center had told me years ago that she thought they sometimes did scans for non-crisis mothers as a thank-you for donations.  I immediately messaged a young lady at our church who had been volunteering at the same center and asked if she knew whether they would do it for me.  I told her that my midwife did not suspect twins but I couldn’t get the thought out of my head.  She called the center to ask on my behalf, and it sounded like a sure thing.  They had a new nurse in training who was delighted at the merest chance of scanning twins.

After some initial excitement, I learned that they usually practiced on mothers in their first and very early second trimester.  They weren’t entirely convinced that I would be useful for their training.  After a few hours of uncertainty, I received a call back.  We had an appointment for the following day: Tuesday, July 3.  I was ecstatic.

I was still ambivalent about learning the baby’s gender, but I couldn’t wait to have a look at the little person inside me.  We talked about different ways to handle the gender question: just learn outright (would we tell everyone? anyone?), have the nurse seal the results in an envelope (how and when would we open it? one at time, secretly, or all at once?), ask them not to tell us but try to spot the gender with our own untrained eyes…

When I arrived, I learned that it was against the center’s policy to tell expecting mothers the gender of their child.  Of course we were hardly a typical crisis case since we were there as models, to aid in training.  Those rules could be stretched a bit for us, but we did need to be aware of the limitations.  The nurse could help us figure out what we were looking at, but she could not write and seal the results in an envelope for us.  As it turned out, when Perry was finally admitted his earlier ambivalence had dissipated.  He wanted to know, and I was more than happy to follow along – assuming the baby cooperated.

 cont’d here

 

25 weeks: To twin, or not to twin? {pregnancy update}

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I am huge.  Maybe you disagree, and maybe you don’t – but for me, this is huge.  Go ahead, scroll down and peek at the pic.  I’m consistently measuring 3 cm bigger than my weeks, and I’m sure of my dates.  3 cm might not sound like much, but I typically measure right on for my date or just a little on the small side.  This may be within the realm of normal, but it’s not my normal.

Because of this and many other reasons, I’m finding it very difficult to let go of the idea that I might be having twins this time.  Want more reasons?  Here ya go:

  1. I’m an older grand multipara.  Because of my age and number of previous pregnancies, my chances of twins are significantly higher than average.
  2. Twins run in the family: my mom, her sister, and my cousin all had twins.
  3. I’ve been much more tired this time than ever before – even in the 2nd trimester, when I’m supposed to feel pretty good.
  4. Thanks to a doppler loaned by a friend, we can listen to the baby’s heartbeat to our hearts’ content.  I know it’s perfectly normal to hear a single heartbeat echoed in different parts of the uterus, but I can’t shake my suspicions when I hear it everywhere so often.  Today I could *almost* swear I heard two separate heartbeats, each too fast to be my own.  Probably not, but maybe…
  5. In spite of the fact that this baby has SO MUCH ROOM, it’s always in exactly the same place.  Why doesn’t it wander about?  If you had that much room, would you spend all your time right up front and just to the right of the belly button?  Only if somebody else was hogging up the cool, comfy space in back.

But on the other hand, there is this: since 15 weeks, my midwife has been able to feel the baby with ease – just one baby, with water all around.  Lots of empty space.  She has heard nothing suspicious in the way of heartbeats.  In her experience, measuring 3 cm bigger than average is well within the norm, especially for an experienced mom like me.  She recognizes the possibility that twins can hide and she could be wrong, but she just doesn’t think there is good reason to suspect it this time – unless something has changed at my next appointment on July 4th.

So here’s the big question:

Should I do it?  Should I schedule an ultrasound?

Too late.  I just talked to a friend who works at the local crisis pregnancy center, and she said they’re happy to do a scan for me just to gain experience for their new nurse.  They haven’t seen twins yet and are delighted at the possibility, slim though it may be.

Update: I called the center and learned that I might be too far along to be helpful in training.  I’m waiting for a call back to hear if they want to schedule me for a free scan.  

So let’s take a vote: who goes with mother’s intuition, and who sides with medical training and experience?  You won’t hurt my feelings if you choose my midwife.  I’m on her side.  I just want that little voice in the back of my head to believe her, too.  :)

Belly pics

Here I am in the belly dress, as my 4yo calls it.  Please ignore the wet stringy hair.  I just got out of the shower.

IMAG0678 25 weeks: To twin, or not to twin? {pregnancy update}

And here’s my regular outfit for the day.  Ignore the chubby ankles.  There’s a reason I cropped the belly dress photo just below my knees.

IMAG0685 25 weeks: To twin, or not to twin? {pregnancy update}

And in this one I’m looking down at my belly in genuine shock.  ”Wow. Not even third trimester yet?  That IS big!”

IMAG0686 25 weeks: To twin, or not to twin? {pregnancy update}

Baby at 25 weeks

  • Baby is around 13.5 inches in length and weighs 1 and half pounds.
  • Bones are becoming solid, hands are now fully developed.
  • The brain is growing rapidly, the brain cells are starting to mature.
  • more
Want to hear something funny?  From the site I use for development details:
The uterus is now about the size of a soccer ball and mom looks pregnant.
Can you hear me laughing?  Now I look pregnant?  Somebody obviously wasn’t looking the last 2 months.  A soccer ball?!  Maybe if you inflate the soccer ball with an air compressor and forget to pay attention until it looks like a beach ball.
Now do you want to know something else funny?  That same site has a photo every week.  And this week’s photo is – can you guess?  Twins!

Exercise

I’m walking again.  Last week I only did 2.5 miles, but it was a busy week, blistering hot, and my hip was bothering me.  The week before, I walked 12.5 miles.  Maybe that’s why my hip was bothering me.  I’d like to aim for at least 10 miles/week, and am trying to get my speed up to 3.5 mph.  I’m close, but not quite there.  When I reach that goal, I might add some weights to tone my arms while I walk.

I’m wimping out and skipping the brutal hill that leads up to my house.  It leaves me exhausted at the end of every walk, so I always end on a bad note.  Instead, I drive down the hill and park in a nice flat area (as flat as it gets in the hill country, which isn’t as flat as you expect in Texas).  Then when I’m done walking, I reward myself with a nice blast of air conditioning as I drive back up the hill to my house.  Can you tell I like the way this current plan is working?

Your turn

What’s new in your belly or on your mind?  How far along are you now?  How does this pregnancy compare/contrast with previous pregnancies?  How are you feeling?    Do you have a belly pic to share?

Previous pregnancy updates:

24 weeks: I’m not fat for a pregnant lady {pregnancy update}

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You will either totally understand and chuckle, or cringe at this, but in our house fat and pregnant are lightheartedly used as interchangeable terms.  When I’m pregnant, my sweet husband often looks at me with loving eyes and says, “Hey, you’re the cutest fat chick I know.  Wanna go out with me?”  If you think he might be referring to the size of my thighs rather than my belly, kindly leave me in my blissful ignorance.

As an everyday example, I was making my way down the deck stairs toward the car and PerryBoy asked why I was moving so slowly.  ”Because I’m fat,” I replied, meaning pregnancy had slowed me down.  He knew just what I meant but his charm kicked in nonetheless.  ”You’re not fat, Mom,” he replied with a glint in his eye.  ”You’re just the right size for a pregnant lady.”  Actually I’m 3 centimeters big for a pregnant lady, but what does he know?  Let’s not tell him.

Just in case it wasn’t totally obvious to everyone last week, let me just say it: I’ve popped.  This week every time I bought groceries (what? you don’t buy groceries 6 times/week?) the cashier nearly pleaded with me to let somebody help me out.  ”Do you need help with those?  Are you sure?  Let me just call someone…”  I don’t remember receiving this sort of treatment in the past; maybe I look like I’m already in labor.  Or maybe I’m sending twin vibes – except to my midwife.  Last time I saw her she was still convinced there was just one baby in there, enjoying lots of extra space.  He’d better enjoy the extra space while it lasts.  :)

I attended a bridal shower with quite a few ladies I don’t see regularly, and I think the first words I heard out of 30 different people were variations on, “Hi Kim – you’re pregnant!!!”  No doubts, no hesitation.  They knew without thinking it over that this was not a leftover tummy from any or all of the last 10 pregnancies.  I’m obviously, entirely, completely, very pregnant.

But you knew that already.

Last week I complained about minor swelling in my hands and feet, and asked what caused you to swell.  I thought about trying a dozen different suggested solutions at the same time, but that would create the problem of not knowing which solution worked.  Instead, I decided to keep it simple and start with the most obvious possibility.   Over the past week I’ve made an effort to drink more water, more consistently.  I was estimating that I drank 2-3 quarts/day and I think that was a fair estimate because I drink from a quart jar when I’m home.  Now I’m filling a gallon jug every morning and trying to polish it off by the day’s end.  I usually do finish, but I know it’s more than I normally drink. I think a bigger part of the problem has been how little I drink when I leave the house.  Those are the days when I notice swelling, and those are the days when I don’t have a quart jar near at hand.  So there’s an answer to my little mystery.  Why do my feet sometimes swell?  Because sometimes I’m not drinking enough water.  Duh.

I did call my midwife and chatted with her about the swelling for a few minutes.  Among other things, she mentioned that I had just cleared another milestone: the second major increase in blood volume.  This could have accounted for a little extra fluid retention and weight gain.  I guess the ice cream I’ve been eating accounts for the rest.  Before you object, let me explain.  When it’s really hot, ice cream is the only appealing way to get my Recommended Daily Allowance of chocolate.  You don’t want me to suffer from chocolate deficiency, do you?  DO YOU KNOW HOW DANGEROUS THAT IS FOR A DEVELOPING BABY?

Belly pics

I’d like to be excused today from belly pics this week on the grounds that it’s currently 104 degrees and my favorite dress is synthetic fabric and I was too lazy to get up at 6:30 for a photo session.  Also, I’d rather not post pics of what I’m currently wearing, because on days when the weather hits the triple digits we all wear the sort of stuff that sends us running for more clothes when we hear somebody coming up the driveway.  Our outfits wouldn’t scandalize anybody in WalMart, but they would doubtless scandalize some of our own friends and readers, so we’ll just keep them in the privacy of our home where they belong.

Baby at 24 weeks

  • The child is now gaining around 3 ounces (90 grams) a week.
  • Baby weighs about 1.3 pounds and is 12 inches long.
  • The eyelids can be seen very clearly.
  • If born at this stage baby is officially considered viable, and may well be able to survive.
  • more
Previous pregnancy updates:

23 weeks: Just swell {pregnancy update}

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Twenty three weeks down, seventeen to go!  I can’t believe we’re here already.  Not that this week is any kind of particular milestone, but I’m amazed every time I think about how fast this pregnancy is going.  Of course I was more amazed when I lost track and thought I was at 24 weeks, but we won’t talk about that.

I’m sleeping better – not sure if exercise and the accompanying increase in Vitamin D are helping, or if it’s the cooler nights or something else entirely.  At any rate, I feel better than I have in months.  I’m not quite my usual self, but my mind is clearer and I’m more energetic, and I’m feeling better instead of worse.

I do have one problem, and I would love your input: swelling.  It’s noticeable in my hands and feet, but I think I’m carrying some extra water everywhere.  I’ve had a bit of swelling off and on with other pregnancies, but it’s never started this early.  It’s not severe, but with most of the summer and just over half the pregnancy still in front of me, I expect it to get much worse if I don’t figure out what’s causing it.  I haven’t gained an unusual amount of weight so far, but I think most of it is attributable to excess water weight.  It is bad enough that one item on today’s To Do List is to soak my left hand in ice water and try to get the ring off my middle finger.  I’m hoping I won’t have to take off my wedding/engagement rings even though they’re already feeling snug, because, well… that would make me feel a little awkward in my third trimester.  :)

One reason it concerns me a little is because I think I also have much more amniotic fluid than usual.  That can be a symptom of gestational diabetes, so of course I’ll be talking to my midwife at my next visit.

My midwife asks about swelling at every checkup, so of course I’ll have her input in a couple of weeks.  I’m thinking about calling her before that, but in the meantime, I would love to glean some helpful ideas from your experience.  Have you had swelling?  Do you know what caused it in your case?  What helped?

ETA: Thanks for all the suggestions so far! For those who asked, my bp is always a bit on the low side, and is still there as far as I know. Also, I’m drinking at least 2-3 quarts of water daily, but plan to increase it to a gallon to see if it helps. I do eat plenty of protein, and not too much sugar or salt.

Exercise

I’m trying to get back to exercising.  Perry gently encouraged me a couple of weeks ago, mentioning that I had put on some weight all over – not totally typical for me at this point.  I thought about being offended because my weight gain so far is well within normal guidelines even if it’s not typical for me.  Then he went on to remind me that I had complained in another pregnancy because he didn’t warn me that I was putting on more weight than usual.  What can I say?  I’m blessed to have a guy who takes me at my word.  :)

For the past 2 weeks, I’ve walked 2 or 2.5 miles every morning that I was home, about 4 days/week.  Some days I drive down the hill and park somewhere convenient so I can enjoy a walk on gentle rolling hills; other days I tackle the brutal hill that starts at the bottom of our stairs and continues for 1/4 mile.  Ugh.  It’s already getting easier, and I’m looking forward to increasing my speed and distance, but trying to do it gradually so I don’t get burned out and start dreading it.

Belly pics

Yes, I regret not taking a picture in The Dress last week, and I knew I would.  I just really didn’t feel like doing it.  The weather this week is much nicer – we’re staying the in the low 90′s – so I’m less whiny.  There’s even a nice breeze.  See the crazy windblown hair?

IMAG0646 23 weeks: Just swell {pregnancy update}

Wearing my goin’ to town clothes.  I’m heading out to pay the second half of our property tax.  Did you know there’s a strong movement to abolish property tax in Texas?

IMAG0662 23 weeks: Just swell {pregnancy update}

Actually I dress like that nearly every day of the week, minus the shoes.  My goin’ to town clothes are shoes.  When I put on shoes, the kids all ask where-are-you-going-and-can-I-go?

Baby at 23 weeks

  • The baby is over 11 inches tall, weighs about a pound.
  • The eyebrows are visible.
  • The child can successfully suck.
  •  The baby is now proportioned like a newborn except it is a thinner version of a newborn baby since its baby fat has not developed much yet.
  • If born now, your baby would have a 20% chance of survival, the odds going up with each passing day.
  • more

Your turn!  What’s new in your pregnancy this week?

22 weeks: I am big and lazy {pregnancy update}

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Wow.  I feel amazed again at how much bigger I am just a week later.  I did a little googling and found that babies often experience a growth spurt from 16-20 weeks, so maybe we’re at the tail end of that.  Then again, maybe gravity has been unkind because I had several very long days last week when Perry, Deanna and I attended the Texas Republican Convention as delegates.

You know those tiny gold toned baby feet pins you can get from pro-life organizations?   I spent 3 days with mine pinned to the belly of my shirt and everyone who noticed loved it.   It also helped cover my belly button, which is beginning to pop out and will stay there for the next several months.

belly feet 22 weeks: I am big and lazy {pregnancy update}

I can’t believe the third trimester is creeping up on me – or am I creeping up on it?  It seems like this pregnancy has gone very quickly so far.  I think there are several reasons:

  1. I didn’t spend the first 3 months counting the days until I stopped puking.
  2. We’ve been uncharacteristically busy – though I’ve been saying that for a long time.  Eventually I may have to accept this pace as the new normal for us.
  3. The end of my childbearing years is getting closer.  I may have 10 years or more, but I don’t know.  Each pregnancy is more likely to be my last, so I find myself savoring the experience more each time and less anxious to be done.  I can’t wait to meet my baby and every milestone is exciting, but every day is precious too.
Belly pics
Will I regret it if I skip the dress this week and just settle for the pic above?  This week has been HOT so far, and I have no desire to pull on a full length synthetic dress, go outside for a photo session, and change clothes again.  It just sounds like a lot of work.  Dinner is in the crock pot, the little kids are napping, the laundry is caught up, and it’s the heat of the day.  I’d much rather sit in front of a fan and drink ice water.  Wouldn’t you?

Baby at 22 weeks

  • Baby is about 11 inches long and weighs in at about 1 pound.
  • Baby reacts to loud sounds.
  • Baby starts having a regular sleeping and waking rhythm.
  • The mother’s movements can wake her baby.
  • Taste buds are forming on baby’s tongue.
  • more

Your turn: How are you this week?  Leave your update in the comments or link to it!

Superheroes among us

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And they stopped long enough for us to catch them on film!

These guys are serious.  See their muscles?

batman3 Superheroes among us

Under their supercool suits, they’re just regular guys.

batman4 Superheroes among us

They spar regularly to keep their muscles warmed up and ready to fight evildoers.

batman5 Superheroes among us

Practicing a new move.  See Batman concentrating?

batman6 Superheroes among us

When they’re not busy fighting bad guys, they’re the best of friends.

batman1 Superheroes among us

Wait – did someone say bad guys?  Up, up, and away!  Oops.  Wrong superhero.

batman Superheroes among us

To the Batmobile!

 

21 weeks: I did the Drano gender test {pregnancy update}

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I had a prenatal checkup last Thursday, and Jennifer asked if I was sure about my dates.  She asked because I’m still measuring 3 cm. big, just like last time.  Neither of us said the T[win] word, probably because neither of us thinks that’s why.  I assume it has more to do with the fact that my uterus knows exactly how big it’s going to get over the next 5 months and just wants to be proactive in the process.  Apparently my uterus is not a procrastinator like the rest of my body, although that begs the question “why are my babies born late?”  Somebody needs to have a talk with my uterus.

In other news, we went to a baby shower over the weekend – not for our own baby, but for a newlywed at church who is expecting a honeymoon baby!  I think our baby celebrated his/her first shower by getting the hiccups.  I don’t think it’s the first time, but it’s the first time it was distinct and rhythmic enough to be reasonably sure.

One of the games we played at the shower required us to fill in the last few words in a line from a nursery rhyme.  One stumped everyone because we all remembered different versions, and we ended up guessing wildly: Rub-a-dub-dub, 3 men in a tub, how do you think ____  ____  ____.

they all fit?

they managed to wash?

they got there?

But Megan’s guess brought down the house: how do you think their wives felt?

What’s your best answer?

Drano gender test

OK, I did it: the Drano gender test.  It’s generally categorized with old wives’ tales, but my midwife chuckled a little before telling me that it’s the only one with enough credibility to make it into the midwifery texts.  If I remember correctly, she said that the chemical reaction has to do with hormones produced in part by the baby.  That means that while there can be a lot of variation, it does seem to have a better than 50/50 accuracy level – if you can figure out whose instructions to follow and how to interpret the results.  She also backed up what another friend’s midwife told her: Until 20 years ago, it was considered somewhat accurate in the midwifery community. In her words: “It’s the best and most accurate of the just-for-fun tests.”  Since then the Drano formula has changed, and now you have to use the crystals to get anything better than 50/50.

Of course you could be a stick-in-the-mud and point out that anecdotal evidence is meaningless because people will remember the times it worked and forget the times it failed, but who likes a stick-in-the-mud?  I did a lot of googling, and here’s what seems to give the best results:

How to do the Drano baby gender test:

  1. Wait until at least 20 weeks gestation (some sources say 16 weeks).
  2. Save some of your first morning urine in a canning jar.  Laugh at all the people who think this test is dangerous because they imagine you peeing into a jar that is already filled with Drano.
  3. Take it outside and add some Crystal Drano (must be crystals, not liquid. I found it at WalMart).  Laugh at the people who thought you had to actually pee outside to do this test.
  4. Stand back – this will generate heat and toxic fumes.  Laugh at the people who think this is dangerous because you might hover over the jar sniffing your own fizzy pee fumes.
  5. Wait until the chemical reaction has finished and check the color of the resulting liquid: brownish or blackish indicates a boy, greenish, bluish, or no change indicates a girl.
  6. Take it with a grain of salt.  :)  The results, that is.  Not the urine/Drano mixture.  Please dispose of that carefully and safely.
My results?  Definitely brownish.  A boy?  We’ll see!  Oddly enough, most of our household is hoping for or expecting a girl (the guesses ran 9 to 3).  We love the craziness of a house with boys, but even the boys think it’s time for another baby girl, and PerryBoy thinks it’s important that we stick to our current pattern of girl, boy, girl, boy…GIRL.  He’s very mathematically minded.  I find it easier to picture myself with a baby girl this time, but does anyone think that might be because so far 80% of my babies have been girls?  As hubby would say, “Ya think?!
I plan to do the test again this week, but a bit more scientifically.  This morning, I used about 2 oz of urine and 2 Tbs of Drano crystals.  Next, I want to start with a small (measured) amount of Drano and watch the results.  Then I’ll add a little more, and a little more, and a little more.  My plan is to see if the proportions used change the results significantly.

Belly pics

Update 1: I did the test again, this time in several different proportions. Every time, the results were unquestionably brownish. Of course we still don’t know if the results are correct in our case or if we’re even interpreting it correctly, but it’s definitely consistent for me.

Update 2: On July 3, I had an ultrasound. Boy! In this case – my first time to try the Drano gender test – it was right!

We’re past the halfway point now, and I’m pretty sure the baby has entered a growth spurt.  Well, one of us has, and I’m hoping the it’s the baby.  Now I wake up looking like I did at bedtime last week: remember the Lumpy Sleeping Bag effects of gravity?  I haven’t googled to see if this is a typical time for a growth spurt, because if it’s not then I don’t want to know.

The dress is lying for me, like any good friend would.  I’m WAY bigger than this in real life.  I’m big enough that a total stranger asked me when I was due, and she didn’t even see me from the side.

IMAG0618 21 weeks: I did the Drano gender test {pregnancy update}

Baby at 21 weeks:

 

  • Length is now measured crown to heel: baby has grown to 10.5 inches (27 cm) – 12.7 ounces (360 grams)!
  • The small intestine is starting to absorb sugar from the amniotic fluid.
  • Bone marrow has started making blood cells.
  • more

I would LOVE to hear from anyone who does (or already did) the Drano test as described  above – especially if you already know what you’re having so you can tell us if it worked or failed for you!  If you did it differently, please let us know that too.  Who thinks it’s complete poppycock?  Who thinks there might be something to it?

20 weeks: I decide to suck in my belly {pregnancy update}

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Did anybody else make it through the entire day yesterday under the false impression that it was Monday?  Long weekends do that to me every time.  When the weekend ends and hubby goes back to work, it’s supposed to be Monday.  That’s just the way it is.  Therefore today is Tuesday, and I am not a day late on my pregnancy update.  Are you buying this?

Anyway, baby and I are now halfway to d-day!

I’m still very tired.  Nothing new there.  I’ve always been a light sleeper, but I’ve never before had such trouble getting enough sleep.  Our evenings start and end late because Perry has a long commute, so early bedtime is impractical and nearly impossible.  I find it difficult to sleep late in the morning, and when I try to nap in the afternoon it’s very difficult to turn my brain off.  I’m ready to resign myself to living tired.  Sleep is for the dead.  I’ll sleep then.

Other than sleep, I’m feeling great.  I get stiff and achy if I stay in bed too long (another problem with trying to catch up on sleep), but am able to do what I need to do.  Last week, Kaitlyn, Lydia and I cleaned a neighbor’s house for cash.  My back was hurting so I just planned to supervise, but ended up doing a full share of the work.  I was aching when I was done, but I was aching when I started and it didn’t get any worse.  It was fun to work together, and we’re looking forward to doing this every 2 weeks!

In a move that I promise was not motivated by vanity, I have decided to try to suck in my belly for a while.  Out of habit, my abdominal muscles tend to sign out as soon as a pregnancy is announced, and I think that may contribute toward an aching back sooner than necessary.  I am finding that it’s not hard to straighten my spine and hold my belly in, and it takes some pressure off my lower back.  On the downside, when I remember to suck it in, it almost takes me back to that stage where I look like I just need to spend more time at the gym, but that’s proof that it isn’t about vanity, right?

Belly pics

Over the weekend, I tried on my favorite pair of shorts and was inordinately thrilled to find that they still fit.  Well, everywhere but the waist, and I was able to use a safety pin instead of the button.  Yesterday I added a button to the very edge and now they really do fit perfectly!  Of course it won’t last long, but it was a fun discovery.

Please ignore the goofy look on my face and the fact that I look like I had 3 hours of sleep, unless noticing makes you feel better about goofy/unflattering photos of yourself.

IMAG0606 20 weeks: I decide to suck in my belly {pregnancy update}

This pic was taken in the evening, so you can see the full effects of gravity.  I wake up every morning cute and thin with an adorable baby bump, and fall into bed every night looking like a lumpy sleeping bag.  At least, that’s how it feels.

IMAG0601 20 weeks: I decide to suck in my belly {pregnancy update}

Baby at 20 weeks:

  • Baby now weighes about 11 ounces and is roughly 7 inches long.
  • Baby can hear and recognize the mother’s voice.
  • Nerve cells serving each of the 5 senses are now developing into their specialized area of the brain.
  • more

What’s new in your pregnancy?

19 weeks: I am mean to my friends {pregnancy update}

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I’m 19 weeks now, and to celebrate I did something mean.  I’m just kidding:  It was totally an accident, but it was still mean.

Last week I ran into a friend who hadn’t heard our news yet.  As we hugged in greeting Sheila exclaimed, “Oh, you have a tummy!”  Have I ever told you I’m hard of hearing?  It’s not bad, but I do have a lot of trouble filtering background noise – and there was a lot of background noise just then.  I gave my friend a puzzled look and she repeated her comment.  I missed it the second time as well.  The third time I saw a look of apprehension and embarrassment cross her face.  ”Oh no – did I…?”  Luckily Perry was there, and he chose that awkward moment to fill me in. Ten seconds earlier would have been nice, but I was grateful nonetheless, and I think Sheila was too.

It was nice to be on the other side of that dilemma, since I did nearly the same thing to an acquaintance a couple of weeks ago.  As with Sheila, I ran into her in the middle of a big noisy crowd.  They have a big family like ours, and as we were exchanging news and updates I told her I was due in October.  She congratulated me and said something about “I…in October too!”  When you’re hard of hearing, you rely heavily on context and piece together the words you catch.  She had already told me that her youngest was over a year old, so without hesitating to think about the possible consequences, my brain filled in the missing words something like this: “I’m due in October too!”  I think you can figure out the rest.  My friend was gracious, and laughed about her tummy – which had played absolutely no part in my mistaken assumption – and Perry laughed at me, thankful that it was a fellow mom who had made the blunder rather than himself.

Obligatory preggo pics

One in my everyday outfit: sleeveless polo, soft stretchy skirt that goes from 0-9 months effortlessly, hair in a flexi clip, and bare feet:

IMAG0579 19 weeks: I am mean to my friends {pregnancy update}

And one in The Dress.  Please ignore the bad hair day.  I asked Lydia to just snap several photos quickly since I always slouch and make weird faces in photos.  Her reply?  ”I know…”

IMAG0587 19 weeks: I am mean to my friends {pregnancy update}

Baby at 19 weeks

  • Weighs about 9 oz.
  • Scalp hair has sprouted and continues to grow.
  • Gender is clearly visible.
  • Legs are becoming proportional.
  • more

I guess this is the time many people would learn the gender of their baby, but we’re among the shrinking minority that waits until Christmas to unwrap that particular gift.  ;)  Don’t be offended; I’m just ribbing those who like to find out ahead, including my own husband.  I used to think I would want to find out but didn’t want to foot the bill for an unnecessary ultrasound, but with my last pregnancy I realized that I love the surprise at the end of labor – not just meeting the baby I’ve carried for 9 months, but finally learning the baby’s gender as well.  If I needed an ultrasound for some reason I’m sure I couldn’t resist finding out, but I’m thankful that I’ve been surprised each time so far, and I no longer wish for an excuse to learn ahead of time.

Just for fun, I want to take a poll.  Of course I would love to hear more about how you feel in the comments!

Would you/do you find out your baby's gender before birth?

View Results

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Exercise

Er…was that a rabbit over there?!

Updates!  What’s new in your pregnancy?  Bonus points if you share a pic.  

18 weeks: almost halfway {pregnancy update}

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I was afraid that weekly updates would prove a challenge, and this week it feels that way.  My belly got bigger, I took my vitamins, I slept in late a couple of times, and now I’m 18 weeks along instead of 17.  What’s to tell?  My next appointment is still over a week away, and the halfway mark in 2 weeks seems like the next milestone to look forward to.  In the meantime, I’m thankful to be feeling well and enjoying the small but frequent movements I can feel.

I’m beginning to have a bit of swelling in my feet and ankles if I don’t remember to put them up during the course of the day.  This is a problem I never had to deal with until my 8th pregnancy, and now it seems to come a little earlier each time.  Any tips on preventing it would be welcome, especially since I’ll be spending a lot of time on my feet during the Texas Republican Convention in a few weeks.

Belly pic

Baby bump is definitely growing.  I think I may be cute already.  I feel cute, but I’m not sure if I can stand 5 months of cuteness.  Even puppies and kittens outgrow cute faster than that.  Of course The Dress helps.  In my regular clothes, I have more of a baby lump, not nearly so cute.

IMAG0574 18 weeks: almost halfway {pregnancy update}

Oh, but speaking of clothes, here is my pregnancy excitement of the week: after spending a lot of fruitless time searching the Goodwill and other thrift stores for maternity tops, I visited a baby consignment shop and learned that I’ve been doing it all wrong!  I found maternity tops for the same price as the tops at the Goodwill, but here instead of hunting for a needle in a haystack every item of women’s clothes was maternity!  I had assumed that prices would be sky high but they were very reasonable, and I came home with about 5 maternity tshirts in my favorite colors plus a couple of dressier tops, a skirt, and my first Bella Band.  One had the ruched sides that I’ve been longing for, and the others were more plain, but a little 1/8″ elastic stretch-stitched into the side seams created that ruched look and now I have an almost entirely new wardrobe!  Now I’m thinking of pretty-ing them up even more with Kaitlyn’s ruffle-neck tutorial.

Baby at 18 weeks:

18weeks 18 weeks: almost halfway {pregnancy update}

  • Can hear, and may be startled by loud noises (my poor child!)
  • Is about 6″ from crown to rump, and weighs 7 oz.
  • Goes through the motions of crying.
  • more

Exercise

I walked 5 miles over the last 7 days.  Also, I finally did some informal online research and learned that there is probably no reason I shouldn’t do pushups and kettlebell swings as I was doing before I got pregnant.  I thought that they worked the abdominal muscles too much, but found no such warnings.  On the downside, I can barely do 10 pushups now instead of the 40-50 I was doing a few short months ago.  I can’t blame extra weight, because I only gained 3 or 4 lbs. so far – although it does seem obvious that I’ve gained far more than that in my belly.  Maybe my pushup muscles migrated to my midriff.  :)

Getting ready to leave for a walk.  Mrs. R, these pics are for you.  [wink, wink]

IMAG0567 18 weeks: almost halfway {pregnancy update}

IMAG0564 18 weeks: almost halfway {pregnancy update}

How far along are you now?  Pics?  What’s new?

 

17 weeks: Another milestone {pregnancy update}

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Baby and I are now at 4 months!  Maybe it’s a small milestone, but everything is exciting during pregnancy.  I’m pretty sure my belly is really popping out now.  The reason I’m sure is because at least 4 people have looked at me over the past week and said things that start with “Wow!”  Things like, “Wow!  You’re really starting to show,” or “Wow! I guess I haven’t seen you in a couple of weeks!”

Want more evidence?  I tried to measure my belly and came up with 20 cm, which is roughly equivalent to 20 weeks.  See?  I’m big.  In fact, I’m 3 cm. big if I trust my measuring skills.  That would almost put me in the running for twins, if I were the suspicious sort, but I’m not so let’s just forget I said it.  Well, let’s make a note of it just in case I do have twins, and then forget it for now.

I’ve gained a couple of pounds now, and nausea is almost completely gone, though I’m prone to heartburn already.  Do you ever get it this early?  I don’t usually get heartburn until the baby is big enough to put pressure on my stomach, but now it feels like the nausea has just morphed into heartburn instead.  I can hardly complain since I have never before made it through my first trimester without throwing up a single time.  In fact, I’ve never made it through my first trimester without throwing up hundreds of times!  What’s a little heartburn?

My biggest complaint now: heat.  Normally I’m that person who is perfectly comfortable when others are fanning themselves with sheets of paper, and I’ve always loudly proclaimed that being pregnant in the summer didn’t make a bit of difference to me.  Now, suddenly, I’m a can’t-hack-it-pantywaist.  The temperature hits 90, and I sound like a 2yo who missed her nap.  ”I’m hot!  I’m all sweaty!  I want a/c.  Waaaaah!”  This could be a long summer.  We have acclimated to our climate, and the rest of the family finally agrees with what I’ve been telling them: it’s not that bad.  But after years of telling my family it’s not so bad, I’m afraid they might enjoy my suffering this summer.  Nah, they wouldn’t do that, but I would deserve it if they did.  :)  [Deanna read this and affirms that she will, indeed, enjoy my suffering.]

Belly pics

Not happening today.  It’s raining nonstop, and the OCD in me wants this week’s pic to match every other week so far.  That means it needs to be taken outside on the west end of the deck, which means it’s not happening right now unless you want to see me looking like a wet rat.  Well, do you want to see me looking like a wet rat?

update: I asked on Facebook, and apparently you DO want to see me looking like a wet rat.  I’m sorry to say the rain had almost stopped by the time I got up the gumption to go out.  Here’s my rainy day pic:

IMAG0555 17 weeks: Another milestone {pregnancy update}

Baby at 17 weeks: 17weeks 17 weeks: Another milestone {pregnancy update}

  • Baby is about 5″ from crown to rump, or 9″ from head to toe.
  • Baby weighs just over 5 oz.
  • Fat stores begin to develop under your baby’s skin this week.
  • Cartilage in bones is beginning to calcify.
  • more

I can’t believe the baby is already that big.  Nine inches?!  It’s like a real, living doll!  My belly is growing, but doesn’t feel big enough to have a whole little person in there!  I know there’s been a person in there for 4 months now, but this person would fill the entire palm of my hand now, and still you might not know I was pregnant by a casual glance.  Isn’t hard to wrap your mind around a miracle like that?

Exercise

I remembered!  I did it!  Besides last week’s zoo trip – which I will conservatively estimate at 2 miles, and in which I pushed a heavily loaded double stroller up and down a LOT of hills, I also took a 3.1 mile “trash walk” with 3 of the kids.  That’s at least 5 miles of walking in the last 7 days.  We took 3 large kitchen bags and completely filled them with trash from the roadside, then drove around and picked them up when we were done.  It was fun and responsible, and the kids can’t wait to do it again!  We will do it again, because there was plenty of trash left.

Are you pregnant?  I would love to hear your update again this week.  It’s fun to compare notes, and think about where I’ll be in a few weeks, or how far away 17 weeks seemed just a little while ago.  Where are you in this journey, and what’s on your mind or heart?

16 weeks: The twin question {pregnancy update}

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Previous updates:

 

Last Friday, I had another prenatal checkup.  I always look forward to checkups, but this time I couldn’t wait.  Our whole house has had a sneaking suspicion that this pregnancy might be twins, even though I did my best to convince them that there was no real reason to think so.

Nonetheless, the idea wouldn’t die.  Supporting factors:

  1. I really wanted to have twins this time.  It worked the first time I decided I really wanted a boy, so why not again?
  2. Twins run in the family, strongly.
  3. I’m nearly 40.
  4. I have been much more tired than usual.
  5. Half of the kids have dreamed that this baby is a boy, and half dreamed of a girl.  Laugh if you must – hubby does, and I sometimes do – but premonitory dreams also run in the family very strongly.
  6. I felt movement at 14 weeks, much earlier than I normally do.
  7. I heard a heartbeat on the left, and on the right, with nothing in the middle.  I know it can echo like that, but I also know that twins have 2 hearts.  :)

There were also several convincing reasons to believe that I was not having twins this time:

  1. I had less morning sickness than usual.  With twins, it’s common to get a double dose.
  2. I was not bigger than usual.  I confirmed this by measuring myself at 15.5 weeks, and came up with 17 weeks.  With twins, it’s normal to measure at least 4 weeks bigger than normal, so this put me  comfortably inside the normal range, especially for someone who has earned the title grand multipara.  You could even call me a great-grand multipara.
  3. The dueling heartbeats could easily be an echo.  I kept telling myself this, but it wasn’t working.

So at my checkup, I beat around the bush.  I asked about prenatal vitamin recommendations, assured Jennifer that I was eating plenty even though I haven’t gained any weight yet, and agreed to add dandelion root to my daily routine since I had traces of nitrates.  When she glanced over my paperwork and noted that twins ran in the family, I tried not to look too excited or speak too quickly as I listed off the occurrences.

Lydia was watching and listening impatiently, and our eyes met across the room.  Finally I burst out, “OK.  I already know the answer to this, but I need to hear you say it.  I heard a heartbeat on the far left, and a heartbeat on the far right.  They can echo like that with a doppler, right?  It doesn’t mean twins, right?  I keep telling the kids that, but they don’t believe me.”  What I really meant is, I keep telling myself that but I’m not convinced.

Jennifer smiled, and quickly assured me that yes, it’s all sound waves and it’s very common to hear an echo like that.  She also reminded me that with twins it’s common to have more morning sickness, not less.  Still, I think she recognized my eagerness to know.  We proceeded quickly to the part where we hear the baby’s heartbeat.

When she felt my belly, she commented that I looked like about 17 weeks (with no tape measure – she’s good!), and that was perfectly normal.  No reason to suspect twins.

She also commented right away that she could feel the baby’s back, lying along the right side of my abdomen.  Even after so many pregnancies, I had no idea it was possible to feel a baby from the outside so early.  This tickled me for some reason.  It somehow made it more real, like feeling the baby kick.

Then we listened to the heartbeat.  It was in the 140′s.  She took her time, checking all over, then told me what I already knew.  Just one baby.

After that long, rambling account, maybe you were hoping for a different ending.  Sorry.  So was I, at least a part of me.  But another part of me is breathing a sigh of relief for now.  One baby is plenty to fill our home with a new burst of noise and joy and life, and that’s more than we deserve.  And sometimes surprises happen, too.

Belly pics:

Here’s the weekly pic in my favorite dress.

IMAG0463 16 weeks: The twin question {pregnancy update}

And here’s one not in my favorite dress.  I’m only posting this because I said last week that I would be sharing a photo in one of my everyday outfits.  Now you can see once again why I choose to post photos of myself in the dress above.  If you say something kind and affirming about the pic below, I will never believe another word you say.  Be forewarned.

IMAG04733 16 weeks: The twin question {pregnancy update}

Baby at 16 weeks:16weeks 16 weeks: The twin question {pregnancy update}

  • Baby is nearly 5″ from crown to rump and weighs about 3.5 oz.
  • Fat begins to form underneath skin.
  • Baby hears external voices.
  • Baby sleeps and dreams.
  • Baby’s developing facial muscles make facial expressions possible.
  • more

Exercise

Remember last week when I said all I did was walk 2 miles, but I would take it as a starting point and try to do better this week?  Well, I didn’t remember.  Why didn’t you remind me?

I forgot all about this thing called exercise until Saturday, and then I was busy so I had to procrastinate until Monday.  On Monday, I took 5yo Perry and 7yo Rachael on a walk, determined to cover something more than 2 miles.  We had a great time and ended up walking a leisurely 3.3 miles, talking nonstop (well, some of us) and gathering dozens of varieties of wildflowers along the way.  Now we have plans for regular wildflower walks, alternating with trash walks.  Perry and Rachael were disgusted by the litter along the roadside, so we decided to bring grocery sacks next time and gather trash instead of flowers.  Whoever wants to go with us will have to bring and fill at least one sack.

Do you have a pregnancy update for this week?

Link up with other expecting moms at My Joy-Filled Life.

15 weeks: Now I’m *really* pregnant {pregnancy update}

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Previous updates:

Remember when I said that I expected to grow quickly over the next few weeks?  I think this week was it.  Maybe I’m fooling myself, but last week I felt like I was still at the stage where a casual observer would assume that I just had some “mummy tummy” – that leftover belly because you’ve been pregnant in the past.

This week, I noticed strangers eyeing my belly.  I got the maternal smile from other women.  You know the one, right?  It’s the same smile they give your cute little baby in the infant seat, but the baby is still under cover, so they smile at your belly instead.  It’s roughly the same look I would expect if I was wearing a t-shirt with a cute puppy on the front.

This week I also left the house one morning (when my belly tends to protrude less) and didn’t come until late in the evening (when it looks like I just ate a whole watermelon without sharing).  Instead of hugs and smiles, I was met by jaws agape.  ”WOW, Mom.  You look really pregnant!  Or did you just eat A LOT at dinner?”  Thank you, darlings.

Here’s a good look at my 15 week baby bump.  I’m kinda letting it hang out here.  :)  This is how I tend to look at the end of the day, when my abs have given up and are ready for bed.

IMAG0429 15 weeks: Now Im *really* pregnant {pregnancy update}

And here’s a more casual stance, which is probably how I look normally – except the dress still provides some camouflage.  Next week I’ll include a photo with one of my everyday outfits for comparison.

IMAG0426 15 weeks: Now Im *really* pregnant {pregnancy update}

I’ve also caught myself doing the pregnant waddle already.  What’s up with that?!  I tried to explain to my laughing daughters why it bothered me so much, and it came down to two reasons:

  1. I feel like a phony.  I may be pregnant, but I’m just not big enough to justify The Pregnant Walk yet.  I feel like I’m advertising: Look at me!  Pregnant lady over here!  It just feels a little dishonest, like the sort of exaggeration that borders on lying.
  2. I feel like I’m being lazy.  It takes a little more effort, but I am still perfectly capable of a normal walk.  The Pregnant Walk says, I am big.  I am awkward.  Walking in my condition is hard work.  And while that is very true in the 3rd trimester, it’s really not the case right now.  When I catch myself doing it, I feel like a little kid complaining about carrying a grocery bag that contains nothing but a loaf of bread.  ”This is too heavy!  I’m tired!”  I’m carrying 2 lbs. of extra weight.  This is not heavy.  Not yet.


I’m feeling some distinct movement, though not a lot of it.  Just once or twice a day, which is still a lot more than I’ve felt at this stage in most of my recent pregnancies.  So excited to be feeling movement already!

I didn’t use the doppler at all this week, but will hear the heartbeat at my checkup this Thursday.

15weeks 15 weeks: Now Im *really* pregnant {pregnancy update}

Baby at 15 weeks:

  • is over 4″ long (crown to rump length) and weighs about 2.5 oz.
  • has taste buds
  • tiny bones in ears are beginning to calcify
  • more

Exercise:

Ha.

I walked 2 miles.  Does that count?  Let’s call it a starting point, and I’ll try to beat it next week.

How about you?  Any updates or photos to share?  Feel free to leave a link in the comments if you posted a pregnancy update on your blog!

14 weeks: Kicks?! {pregnancy update}

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Previous updates:

I’m still not convinced that I’ll have something new to say every single week, but I’ll keep up the weekly updates until I don’t.  :)

Baby and I are at 14 weeks today, and this time we have a recording of the heartbeat to share!  I get different results depending on whether I try to calculate the rate based on 6 seconds or 10 seconds.  What do you think?

heartbeat @ 14 weeks

For those concerned about possible side effects of doppler use, I’m only using it once/week or less, and will probably use it less when I start feeling a lot of kicks.

And speaking of kicks, when do you first start feeling movement?  I think I used to feel movement around 14-15 weeks, but with the last several pregnancies I haven’t felt distinct movement until much later – often 18 weeks or more.  My placenta always seems to plant itself right in front – it’s there again this time – and I think I have a little more padding and a lot more stretch on my tummy than I used to, so I’m just less sensitive to tiny legs poking around.  BUT I felt something that was very much like a tiny leg poking my belly from the inside on Saturday evening, and again on Sunday.  What do you think?  Compared to your first, do you tend to feel movement earlier or later with subsequent pregnancies?

Exercise

I’m a quitter.  I did squats for about 3 days, then my back got very stiff and achy.  I’m not sure if it was caused by the squats or by spending a full day in heels carrying toddlers and larger children, but I was hurting.  I didn’t do any more squats after that, though I still intend to.  Did anyone else do them?  Did you make your goal?  Go ahead, make me look bad.  It will serve as motivation for me.  :)

I did walk a mile yesterday on some very steep hills.  While 7yo Rachael trotted happily alongside me, I puffed and blew and struggled to put one foot in front of the other.  Maybe “trotted” is misleading.  We were barely crawling by the time we reached the top of the first hill.  I may not have gained weight yet, but I’ve definitely lost muscle in some key areas.  I had 2 thoughts when it was all over:

  1. I need exercise.
  2. I hate exercise.

What next?  I’m not about to make any commitments to walk that mile again soon, but there’s another route with much kinder hills.  Maybe, just maybe.  Whatever I do, I have to increase my activity level, and I probably shouldn’t wait until 5 weeks before my duedate like I did last time.  How do you get motivated to exercise?  If you’re one of those sick people who enjoy exercise, just sit on your hands and keep away from the keyboard.  ;)

Belly pic

I’ve never done regular belly pics before, but I’ve enjoyed posting pics for several weeks now and I think it will be really fun to be able to look back at how Baby and I grew week by week.

I’m finally looking obviously pregnant, especially at the end of the day.  I wake up feeling relatively slim, but over the course of the day my back and abs tire, and by afternoon my belly feels huge – for 14 weeks, at least.  I know in a few weeks I’ll be out to here, but for now I’m enjoying the moderate rate of growth.  The kids were desperately hoping for twins this time but I keep telling them that I’m just not big enough.   Maybe I actually managed to regain some abdominal tone after the last pregnancy.  I don’t think I’m even as big as I usually am at this point, although that can change over the course of a few days!

 

IMAG0408 14 weeks: Kicks?! {pregnancy update}
I have to confess again that this dress is uber flattering.  If you think I don’t really look pregnant, you know why I like this dress so much.  I feel graceful and slim in it, even with a thickening waist and growing belly.  I plan to take all my weekly belly pics in this dress as long as I can fit into it because

a. It makes me feel pretty, and

b. I want a constant frame of reference.  If I switch to “regular” clothes for next week’s pic, we’ll all think I forgot to take pics for 6 or 8 weeks.

14weeks 14 weeks: Kicks?! {pregnancy update}

At 14 weeks:

 

  • Baby is 3.5″ long and weighs about 1.5 oz.
  • Baby has functioning kidneys.
  • Hair, eyebrows and languo develop.
  • Baby makes breathing movements.
  • more

What’s new in your pregnancy?  Did you show me up on my own challenge to exercise regularly over the last week?

13 weeks: A new trimester! {pregnancy update}

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I love milestones, and 13 weeks is definitely a milestone!  It’s refreshing to know that I’m starting a new trimester.  I’m hopeful that morning sickness will continue to fade, and can’t wait to see my belly – and the baby – begin to grow in earnest.

I haven’t felt that way with every pregnancy; sometimes I’m reluctant to lose my waistline (yet again), but knowing that every time is ever more likely to be the last makes me look at it differently.  Children are always a blessing, but somehow I find it easier to keep that in mind as I near the end of my childbearing years.

IMAG0380 1 1 13 weeks: A new trimester! {pregnancy update}

While I’m excited at beginning a new trimester, I’m quietly terrified of the thought of labor in a mere 27 weeks.  My last labor was exciting but relatively fast, especially for my first posterior baby.  Nonetheless I’m SO not ready to think about labor again.  My solution: I don’t think about it.  I know from experience that I’ll be ready when the time comes, so in the meantime I live in denial.  To paraphrase Matthew 6:31 roughly,

Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘How shall we get through labor again?’…

No, fretting and worrying will not subtract one hour from labor.  There are better things to focus on.

But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.  Therefore do not be anxious about [27 weeks from now], for [October 17] will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble. ~Matthew 6:33-34

So I walk around in a curious mixture of bliss and nausea, waiting to feel the first flutterings, oblivious to the fact that in 6 months I’ll be wondering what was I thinking?  I can’t do this!!!

Over the past week, I logged everything I ate for 5 days for my midwife.  It was a good chance to take a real look at my diet.  I’m probably not eating quite enough because of the nausea but I’m maintaining my starting weight, which is very good for me since I usually lose about 10 lbs. in my first trimester.  I’m no health nut, but I think my diet is generally healthy and balanced.  I’m curious to see if my midwife agrees next time I see her.  :)

I’m also not doing much exercise yet because of the nausea.  Wait – who am I fooling?  I’m not doing any exercise, unless you count staring mournfully into the fridge and walking away because the sight and smell of all that food is more nauseating than an empty stomach.  However, I am trying to remember to do 100 squats/day because I can do them in small sets without getting sick and I hear they are wonderful for a variety of reasons, some of which apply to everyone and some of which apply specifically to pregnant women.  I have yet to remember to do more than 30, but I’m full of good intentions.  I just need someone to remind me.

Does anyone want to join me in 100 squats/day?  I could use some accountability!

The biggest excitement this week: a friend unexpectedly loaned me a fetal doppler!  We can listen to the baby’s heartbeat at home any time we want!  How cool is that?  We tried to make a  recording, but baby wasn’t very cooperative.  I only found the baby’s heartbeat once today, and it was competing with my own.  We could hear it easily, but it was difficult to separate the two on our recording.  Maybe we’ll have a recording next week!

At 13 weeks: 14weeksb 13 weeks: A new trimester! {pregnancy update}

  • Baby is about 3″ long and weighs 1 oz.
  • Baby can suck thumb, kick, and flex arms.
  • Bone is beginning to replace cartilage and the ribs are appearing.
  • Baby’s unique fingerprints are already in place.
  • more

Updates?  I love hearing updates from others!  And I’m serious: does anyone want to do 100 squats/day for the rest of April?  Or the next 30 days?  Or 27 weeks?

12 weeks: I heard the heartbeat! {pregnancy update}

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At 12 weeks, I’m already wondering if it will be practical to keep posting weekly updates.  Does anyone really want to hear about this every single week?  Will I have something new to say every single week?  Maybe I’m just feeling a little bleh because in spite of the fact that I was feeling so much better last week, this week I feel like my morning sickness has stabilized.  I’m not complaining – it’s mild and manageable, but it’s still ever-present.

Actually, I should just shut up now, because it’s mild enough that I was filled with relief to hear the baby’s heartbeat at my first prenatal appointment.  It took a long 5 minutes to find with the doppler, since baby wasn’t cooperating.  I have had 2 early miscarriages in the past, and both were preceded by a stark and startling absence of morning sickness, so I’m reassured by a little nausea – even if I do tend to complain about it.

And although I feel like a complainer, my family insists that I don’t complain.  I just have a tendency to look…somber.  Then they know that it’s time to bring me food and pressure me to eat it even though it doesn’t sound good and I’m not really hungry.  We all know that I’ll feel better in 10 seconds if I obey.  That’s how my morning sickness works this time, and when I’m not being somber I am sensible enough to realize how incredibly blessed I am not to be puking my guts out 20 times/day.

week12 12 weeks: I heard the heartbeat! {pregnancy update}That’s what I’m up to.  Here is what the baby is doing at 12 weeks:

  • The baby is now about 2.5 inches from crown to rump and weighs about 0.7 ounce (20 g).
  • The feet are almost half an inch (1cm) long.
  • The baby starts moving spontaneously.
  • The baby now has a chin and a nose and a facial profile.
  • Vocal chords are complete, and the baby can and does sometimes cry silently.
  • Fingernails and toenails appear.
  • The baby can suck his thumb, and get hiccups.

I know I said I wanted to post a pic every week in my new favorite dress, but I’m on my way out the door right now and that’s not what I’m wearing.  No time to change: here’s the real me:

Um…never mind what I just said.  There’s always time to change into your favorite dress!

12weeks 179x300 12 weeks: I heard the heartbeat! {pregnancy update}

See?  Much more belly this week than last week.  You should see me sitting down with relaxed abs and slouchy back. icon smile 12 weeks: I heard the heartbeat! {pregnancy update}

What’s changed in your pregnancy over the last week?  Bonus points if you share a pic!

11 weeks: feeling better! {pregnancy update}

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I can hardly believe it, but my nausea is almost gone already.  I have just enough background queasiness to keep me from worrying about the baby.  I’m still very tired and prone to nausea if I’m on my feet too long, but am so thankful to be feeling better this soon!

I’m really curious about what has made the difference this time.  I can think of a long list of possibilities, and you can probably add to the list.  The problem is figuring out which ones really belong on the list so I can repeat the experience if I have any more babies!

  • Decreasing levels of hormones due to increasing age – obviously there’s still enough to support pregnancy, but maybe not the excess I had in my younger days.
  • Plenty of soluble fiber in my diet thanks to beans and veggies.
  • Very little sugar.  When I do eat it, I feel better right away, but almost invariably feel worse later.  I know blood sugar dips make me sick, so eating less sugar is probably keeping me more stable, reducing that particular cause of nausea.
  • Maybe it’s a boy?  I was less sick with my boys, but also less sick with my later pregnancies.  Not sure if the difference is gender, my own age, or a combination.
  • Eating frequent small meals with protein and something acidic.  Of course it never worked for me in the past, but it seems to help me digest this time.
  • Keeping my stomach never empty and never full.  If I strike the right balance, I can almost entirely avoid nausea or that heavy I-ate-too-much feeling.
  • Breakfast in bed.  I don’t feel sick in the morning, and it’s so nice to lounge about a little longer before I get up and the nausea sets in.
  • Adrenal supplements.  I’ve heard they can help with morning sickness, especially if your body truly needs the help.

IMAG0373 179x300 11 weeks: feeling better! {pregnancy update}

At any rate, I’m feeling better and happy about it!

My belly is growing, of course.  I still think I just look thicker around the middle rather than pregnant, but I’m ready to start posting prego pics because I can definitely see a change.  Half my skirts are getting too snug – the half without elastic waistbands –  and I expect to start growing pretty quickly over the next few weeks.  I think I’m getting close to that overnight transformation when everyone suddenly stares at me and says, “Oh, wow!  When are you due?”

If you think I don’t look I look pregnant at all yet, then you understand why I chose this particular dress.  It’s my new favorite because it makes me feel slim.  Trust me, there’s some extra belly in there!

11weeks 11 weeks: feeling better! {pregnancy update}Some fun and interesting facts about baby development at 11 weeks:

  • The crown to rump length of your growing baby is about 1.5 inches (35mm) and baby is the size of a small plum.
  • The fingers and toes have completely separated.
  • The wrists and ankles have formed and the fingers and toes are clearly visible.
  • Baby has tooth buds, the beginning of the complete set of 20 milk teeth.
  • Baby can swallow and stick out his or her tongue.
  • Whole body except tongue is sensitive to touch.
  • The heart is almost completely developed and very much resembles that of a newborn baby

My first prenatal checkup is Thursday at 1:00.  I’m not telling you because I think you really care what time it is.  I’m telling you because in spite of how excited I am, I know I’ll probably forget until Thursday at 12:45, then I’ll have to call my midwife and tell her I’ll be late.  And then she’ll laugh and tell me that it’s fine, and I’ll be forced to suspect that she actually wrote 1:30 in her book instead of 1:00 because she knows me from my last pregnancy.

Who wants to share an update?  What has changed in your pregnancy over the past week?

10 weeks: it’s all about the nausea {Pregnancy update}

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baby 10 weeks: its all about the nausea {Pregnancy update}I was 10 weeks pregnant yesterday and this is my first update so far on the blog.  Call it pregnancy brain.  I’m forgetting a lot, spending most of my time focusing on two little words: don’t puke.

So far, it’s actually working well.  I have never before made it past 7 or 8 weeks without throwing up, and I typically throw up a lot starting right at 5 weeks.  10-20 times/day for the first 4-5 months is normal for me…so I am thrilled to say that I have not hung my head over the toilet once!

On a scale of 1-10, where 1 is “I didn’t notice until you asked” and 10 is waiting for the last heave so you can wipe your mouth and stand up, my nausea has hovered mostly between 3 and 4.  It’s just enough to sap my motivation and make bed the most comfortable place, but not enough to give me grounds for complaining.  I’ve had brief spikes toward 6 or 8, but that goes away quickly if I’m careful to eat beans and lots of protein and veggies, and stop before I’m full.  Never empty, never full – that’s where my stomach is happiest right now.

I don’t crave pickles, but I’m beginning to understand where the stereotype comes from.  My food settles better if I eat something acidic with every meal and snack, and sometimes pickles are just the easiest and most obvious choice.

This is a first for me, but I’m very sensitive to smell.  Dirty diapers are a no-brainer – somebody else has to do them right now or the baby will need a bath after I ralph on him –  but I can’t even stand to look in the fridge because the smell of food when I’m already nauseated is the least appealing thing in the world.  Perry and the girls have learned to recognize my whiny “I’m sick” face even before I complain and just bring me a small snack.  I’m so thankful for that!

I’m beginning to show, just a little.  It’s not enough that a stranger would know or even suspect that I am pregnant, but I am definitely getting thicker around the middle, and I can feel my uterus growing.  I read that it should be a little larger than a grapefruit at this point, which is exactly how it feels.

hands 10 weeks: its all about the nausea {Pregnancy update}Of course, the baby is growing too.  I’m not in this alone.  At this point, the baby should be a little over an inch long.  Click the image to see more photos and details on development at 10 weeks.  Precious!

I need to call my midwife and schedule my first checkup.  She says she likes to start around 10 weeks and – oops!  That’s right now!  There’s no hurry (many midwives start later with experienced moms) but at this point she should be able to find the heartbeat, and I can’t wait for that!

Can I see a show of hands?  Who else is expecting?  How far along are you?

Black bean brownies for morning sickness

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It sounds weird, and it took me a while to get up the courage to try.  But you know what?  They’re really good. No hint of bean flavor with unsalted homecooked beans.  Just a rich chocolatey brownie – and if you’ve had them before, mine are probably more chocolate-y because I tweaked the recipe to my own liking.  Mostly, that means more chocolate-y goodness.

The texture is a little different from normal brownies, probably because there’s no gluten to bind them.  Some of the kids think it’s a good difference, some don’t, most don’t even notice.  A bit on the crumbly side if you overcook or let them dry them out, but there’s an easy solution: eat faster.

For a better texture, add 1/3 cup of flour, 2 more tablespoons of oil/butter and an extra egg. They’re not gluten free if you do this, but the flavor and texture are almost indistinguishable from traditional brownies.  If you’re extremely sensitive to texture and still think you can tell the difference, or if you’re just looking for an excuse to add chocolate chips, do it.  You won’t be sorry.

If you suffer from morning sickness like I do, you might find that eating a few bites of beans every time nausea threatens is a magical cure for morning sickness.  If so, you really should keep some of these brownies on hand, because you’re going to get very tired of burritos 19 times/day.

Come on.  Don’t be a chicken.  Just try them.  You know you want to.

gluten free black bean brow 300x188 Black bean brownies for morning sickness

Pregnancy Brownies (Gluten Free Black Bean Brownies)

makes 8 2×4 brownies, 223 calories, 10 grams fat, 9 grams protein, 5 grams fiber.  Yes, those are really big brownies.  You might feel better about it if you cut them in 2×2 squares and eat 2.

  • 1/2 cup cocoa
  • 2 tbs butter or oil
  • 3 eggs
  • 1/2 cup sugar
  • 3/4 cup black beans (no salt), thoroughly drained and rinsed
  • 2 tsp vanilla
  • 1 tsp instant coffee
  • 1/2 cup walnuts

Combine all ingredients except walnuts in blender or food processor until smooth.  Add walnuts and process briefly.  Spread in greased 8×8 pan or similar size (I use a 9″ pie pan or 8″ round cake pan).  Bake 25-30 minutes at 350, just until done.  Cool thoroughly before cutting.

Giveaway and round-up of baby posts

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This giveaway has ended.  The winner was Kate McKinney!

This week’s giveaway is baby themed for a very good reason, and I’m celebrating that reason with a round-up of some of my past baby posts:

  1. All About Parker – Parker’s first birthday post, with updates on his development, personality and lots of photos.
  2. Sleep? What’s that? – In which I desperately long for sleep.
  3. Sleep training: a 10 day log – In which I futilely try to get a full night’s sleep.
  4. Car seat training – In which I enjoy rather more success, though I don’t get any more sleep than before.
  5. 13 uses for receiving blankets – Because I never knew what to do with all those receiving blankets, and maybe others shared my bewilderment.
  6. Something fun and crazy that happened to me when I was expecting our first boy after 7 girls.
  7. Two related polls about how early and how late your babies have started walking.
  8. Video posts highlighting my crazy crawlers, Bethany and Perry.  Parker did it too, but we must have forgotten to get him on video.
  9. Sleeping babies Q & A, because before Parker came along I was really good at this.
  10. Birth stories, which make up an entire category.
  11. And finally, the fun way we announced a new pregnancy to the kids, long ago when we were expecting #8.

So…do you know why I chose this particular theme for this week’s giveaway?  Did you spot any of the clues I planted over the past week?  Or were you already on our mailing list, so you got The Newsletter?

THE GIVEAWAY

63512 s Giveaway and round up of baby postsWe’re going to choose one winner to receive Babies, Adoption, and Family Logistics, 24 audio messages from the 2010 Baby Conference!

As always, there are several ways to enter.  Remember to leave a separate comment for each entry!

  1. Leave a comment on this post.
  2. Leave a second comment on this post about a clue or hint that you spotted.  This entry will only count if you’re the first to mention that particular clue, so be as specific as possible, and please mention just one clue to leave more chances for others.
  3. Post about this giveaway on facebook, twitter, and/or your blog. Each counts as a separate entry.
  4. Post about your favorite Vision Forum product on facebook and/or your blog.
  5. Like Vision Forum on Facebook.
  6. Use the little Facebook button to recommend Babies, Adoption and Family Logistics to your FB friends.

I’ll take entries until next Friday, then choose a random winner.  Unless I’m too busy throwing up by then.  In that case, I’ll be busy taking this advice.

 

 

 

When Motherhood seems too hard

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I gave Kelly’s new ebook a plug on Facebook when she released it yesterday, but Perry called from work this morning to gently admonish me.  He reminded me how eagerly many of you received my Life With Littles and encouragement For Tired Young Mothers of Many posts.  ”Don’t you think Kelly’s book would strike a chord with your blog readers?”

I think he was right.  He usually is.

Motherhood When Motherhood seems too hard

Kelly Crawford of Generation Cedar has a new ebook for moms, and the title alone is perfect: Devotions, Advice & Renewal for When Motherhood Feels Too Hard.  Isn’t that every day?

When Motherhood Feels Too Hard is the daily inspiration you need to not just get through a day, but to FLOURISH as a mother, to build a home, and to ignite a passion in your children that will impact the next generation for the glory of God!

If the title wasn’t enough, I would be totally sold on Jennie Chancey’s review:

“This eBook is Kelly’s “cup of cold water” to mothers. We all need refreshment and encouragement when the hard days come, and Kelly has provided bite-sized (but meaty and thought-provoking) daily devotionals that urge us to take our calling as mothers seriously but remember at the same time that we are vessels of clay in need of God’s filling. These words are true whether you are the mother of one or the mother of ten! Thank you, Kelly, for sharing your beautiful insights into the calling of motherhood “from the trenches!” -Jennie Chancey, Ladies Against Feminism

When Motherhood Feels Too Hard is available as an instant download (PDF) or for your Kindle.  I’ll be starting my copy very soon.  Anyone want to join me?

 

4 Moms on sibling relationships: bullying, arguing, bickering

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4moms35kids 4 Moms on sibling relationships: bullying, arguing, bickering

If you want to know how to avoid sibling squabbles, I have to confess I don’t have the answer to this question.  We have our share of bickering and bossiness.  I like to think our children are best friends and get along wonderfully, but that doesn’t mean they are perfect.  They bicker and squabble over the most ridiculous things.  They remind me of a couple of other sinners I know, whom the children also happen to look like.

The important thing is that they also admit fault, ask forgiveness, and keep being best friends.  In a coincidence of astounding proportions, this is also a very accurate description of the relationship between me and my sweetheart.

The fact that we don’t set a perfect example doesn’t mean we are allowed or obligated to tolerate or condone strife and contention in others.  It means we need to take the problem all the more seriously, beginning with ourselves but doing our best to nip it in the bud with the children as well.

The Bible has a lot to say about strife, contention, and those who cause it.

Proverbs 10:12 Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all offenses.

Proverbs 29:22 A man of wrath stirs up strife, and one given to anger causes much transgression.

Proverbs 20:3 It is an honor for a man to keep aloof from strife, but every fool will be quarreling.

Proverbs 17:14 The beginning of strife is like letting out water, so quit before the quarrel breaks out.

Proverbs 6:16-19 There are six things that the Lord hates, seven that are an abomination to him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked plans, feet that make haste to run to evil, a false witness who breathes out lies, and one who sows discord among brothers.

When we correct the kids, we emphasize that one person’s sinful attitude does not justify the sins of another.  We are each responsible for our own sins.  At the same time, when arguments happen I try to impress upon each child that she probably could have ended or defused the situation by exercising humility, and her pride led her sibling deeper into sin as well.

83524 s 4 Moms on sibling relationships: bullying, arguing, bickeringBook recommendation: Making Brothers and Sisters Best Friends

Website description:

This painfully honest, hilarious book offers a creative look at how to build relationships between siblings. The goal is not just for brothers and sisters to get along, but to be best friends. Sarah, Stephen, and Grace Mally reinforce, in a fresh and innovative way, the very principles we parents talk about daily with our children. Each sibling wrote a section of every chapter, offering their unique perspective, with riotous personal anecdotes, all related to how the three of them became best friends. We read a few pages every day, and I am always delightfully surprised by how well the children remember and apply what we have read.

See what the other moms are doing about the problem:

  • Smockity Frocks
  • Common Room
  • Raising Olives
  •  


    Upcoming topics for 4 Moms:

    • February 23 – Q&A (watch Facebook on Wednesday for your chance to ask a question)
    • March 1 - Teaching writing (composition)
    • March 8(food related topic)
    • March 15 – How to save memories without being overrun

    Recent topics:

    About 4 Moms, including a complete list of all past topics

     

     

    Heritage Defense

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    heritagedefenserectangle Heritage Defense

    “Social services is just an anonymous tip from your door…”

    You don’t have to break the law to find yourself in this sort of trouble.  Most of us know of families who have been falsely accused and investigated by social services; while we have never been visited ourselves, some of our friends have.  Sometimes these allegations are homeschooling-related, but more often they arise from parental decisions regarding child discipline issues, medical choices like vaccinations and home births, sanctity of life decisions, accidents, temperamental neighbors, disagreeable family members, and other areas.   Christian homes throughout America are being invaded and having children interrogated and taken where no crime has been committed. To protect your family and other Christian homeschooling families from such attacks, we recommend that you join Heritage Defense.

    Endorsements

    Heritage Defense is the only national member-based legal advocacy organization that is committed to defending families on these fronts and is endorsed by the president of HSLDA.  While HSLDA vigorously protects homeschoolers’ rights to educate our children at home, there are a host of other parental rights which need protection from being trampled by social services agencies. That’s what Heritage Defense does.  If your family has already joined HSLDA, then you recognize the importance of this sort of coverage.  Heritage Defense is a perfect complement to HSLDA, each picking up where the other leaves off.

    • “Heritage Defense is a welcome friend in the battle for the family.” — Mike Smith, President, Home School Legal Defense Association (HSLDA)

    • “My family has joined Heritage Defense to wage war to defend the family and future generations. Join us!” –Kevin Swanson

    • “Christian families need protection in these vital areas and it is quite encouraging to know that Heritage Defense is there to provide the help we need.” — Dr. Voddie Baucham, Jr.

    • “I’m so excited about the labors and the ministry and the faithfulness of Heritage Defense.”  – R.C. Sproul, Jr.

    Member Benefits

    Member families have access to experienced attorneys who are ready to assist you by answering questions, providing counsel, and defending your family in the courtroom and elsewhere against false accusations and unconstitutional invasions by social services.  If you have a legal emergency, their attorneys may be contacted 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.  All of this and more is included as part of your membership.

    An annual membership with Heritage Defense is $195, and they have recently made it easier by introducing monthly payments.  While the annual payment might be an obstacle for some, the monthly option makes it a no-brainer for us.  For existing members who renew before their memberships expire, annual memberships are $145 (or $16 per month).  Is protecting your family worth $19 a month (or $195 a year)?  We think so.

    For a limited time, Heritage Defense has generously offered a 10% discount to readers of Life in a Shoe.  Just tell them you were referred by Life in a Shoe!

    You can join Heritage Defense here.

    More info

    If you would like some more information, read the FAQ or give them a call at 1-800-515-5901.
    Not signing up today?  You should still read this useful resource, What to do if a social worker comes to your door:
    1. Stay calm and be polite. By law, social service agencies are required to investigate allegations of abuse and neglect and the social worker is making the visit at the direction of a supervisor. Although parents experience the most fear, anxiety, and indignation in the opening moments of an investigation, remaining calm and being polite will allow a parent to think more clearly and will often prevent a social worker from becoming overly aggressive or combative.
    2. Ask some questions and get some answers. Early in the conversation, you might say something like, “I know you are just doing your job, but my primary concern is protecting my family from any unnecessary distress, so I would like to ask a few questions first.” You should ask at least three questions before continuing…read the rest

    Disclosure: We received a free renewal of our membership in exchange for our help promoting Heritage Defense.  We receive no other compensation for this post or for any resulting sign-ons.

    Does morning sickness predict baby’s gender? {poll}

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    Friends, we may be in record territory.  As far as I know, I’m not currently expecting.  But if I’m not pregnant already, then my next duedate will be over 2 years from the birth of my last child.

    IMG 4752 300x226 Does morning sickness predict babys gender? {poll}

    Because of this and because my sister-in-law just announced that she’s pregnant, and because we were all just at a baby shower for another sister who is due in December, pregnancy is very much on my mind.  It’s so much on my mind that I just ordered a 25-pack of pregnancy tests on Amazon Does morning sickness predict babys gender? {poll}
    .  At just over $5 for the whole box (with free shipping and no sales tax), they’re far cheaper than buying them one at a time from the local Everything’s A Dollar Store.

     Does morning sickness predict babys gender? {poll} Does morning sickness predict babys gender? {poll}

    I had one very odd experience when it comes to predicting the gender of a baby, and plenty of people think they can guess by the shape of a pregnant woman’s belly.  Our mom says that with her 14 children she never found a pattern or symptom that helped her accurately predict the gender of a child.  At the baby shower, we talked a little about morning sickness, and didn’t come to any solid conclusions.

    Now I’m wondering…

    I think I had less morning sickness with my boys than with my girls, but it also seems that I had less morning sickness as I got older.  Maybe it had nothing to do with the baby’s gender.

    What do you think?

    There is a poll below.  Feed subscribers may need to click through to this post to see the poll.

    Did morning sickness give you a clue about your baby's gender?

    View Results

    loading Does morning sickness predict babys gender? {poll} Loading ...

    Did you find other signs or symptoms that seemed to help predict the gender of your babies or those of other people you know?  I would love to hear your thoughts!

    4 Moms talk style (parenting style, that is)

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    4moms35kids 4 Moms talk style (parenting style, that is)Are you scared?  I am.  Parenting styles vary immensely and can be a hot button topic, so there’s room to offend everyone in one fell swoop.

    I’m just kidding, though.  If you’ve been reading Life in a Shoe for more than 10 minutes, you know we’re not afraid to offend.  We do try to avoid needless offense and let the Gospel offend, but even there we sometimes fail.  Maybe I should just ask forgiveness in advance, though I’m not at all sure forgiveness works that way.  Maybe you should just close one eye and hum while reading, so that you miss the bits you didn’t want to catch in the first place.

    Enough small talk.

    I only generally recommend 2 books when it comes to parenting style.  I’m sure there are other worthy books, but these are the 2 that instantly spring to mind.  The Bible comes first, of course.  If you didn’t see that coming, Go directly to jail.  Do not pass go.  Do not collect $200.

    The other is Shepherding a Child’s Heart, by Ted Tripp.  I have to confess that it’s been several years since I cracked the book, but I still give it to new moms at nearly every baby shower I attend.  The basic idea is in the title: we must shepherd the hearts of our children.  We do discipline, but we strive to identify and correct heart conditions rather than just dealing out swats for outward misbehavior.  We don’t want to raise children who just know how to comply with rules when necessary; we want to raise Christians who seek to obey and serve God with their whole hearts.

    And the Lord said: “Because this people draw near with their mouth and honor me with their lips, while their hearts are far from me, and their fear of me is a commandment taught by men, ~Isaiah 29:13

    So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God. ~I Corinthians 10:31

    In this sense, our parenting style has not changed much as we moved from 20yo parents of an only child to 38yo parents of 10.  I hope our execution has improved; I hope we have become better at discerning our children’s motives and emotions, and better at leading them (and occasionally kicking them) in the right direction.  But our goals have not substantially changed.

    Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him. ~Proverbs 13:24

    But methods – aha!  Therein lies the rub.  Some parents feel very strongly about exactly how one shepherds the child and the heart.  I like to think that my style is the Biblical style, but even that leaves much room for methods and actual practice, and I know that my own methods and practice are far from perfect since they are being executed by a very imperfect person.

    For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned. ~Romans 12:3

    I can tell you that our parenting style has changed a bit over the years.  Our first child had our full attention.  She got away with very little, and was corrected immediately and sometimes sharply.  As the years passed, we quickly added children.  They were still under near constant supervision from me while they were young, but the mechanics were a little different.  They did get away with things right under my nose because there were 4 of them and I only had 2 eyes.  The girls have some great stories from these years, stories that are still surfacing.  They should write a book someday, together.  I’ll buy it to see what other stories they neglected to tell me.

    Now that the very young are outnumbered by the more mature members of the family, there are eyes everywhere.  Once again, the little ones don’t get away with much.  Since older sibs now help with supervision, discipline is different too, but it’s rarely needed because so many infractions are headed off at the pass.

    We have also learned that corrections need not be sharp.  Children can learn to obey a soft, kind word as well as a sharp one, and will usually obey with a sweeter heart.  I wish we had known this from the start.  The echoes of our own sharp voices and words will doubtless inhabit our home for years to come.

    She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. ~Proverbs 31:26

    Did you think I was going to tell you exactly how to do it?  I’ve posted about disciplining children in the past, but here’s all you get today:

    1. Pray for guidance and discernment.
    2. Read your Bible.  Proverbs is a great place to start.  Proverbs for Parenting is a very helpful resource, but don’t stop there.
    3. Talk to your husband.
    4. Read your Bible some more.
    5. Get counsel from godly friends who are close to you – people who know you and your children.
    6. Read Shepherding a Child’s Heart.
    7. Start over again at #1.

    Not confident that spanking is the best way?  Here’s an alternate method of discipline that seems to get good results.

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    4 Moms practice patience in the midst of chaos

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    4moms35kids 4 Moms practice patience in the midst of chaos

    I’m learning patience today, and it’s not at the hands of my children.  I just lost my half-completed post and had to start over.  See?  God knew my post needed to go in another direction, and He knew I needed more patience.  Sometimes He gives us another child, and sometimes He uses other means.

    Incidentally, I looked up some Bible verses about patience in preparation for this post and I think I learned something.  When somebody in the grocery stores tells you, “Better you than me, because I just don’t have the patience for so many kids,” she probably isn’t talking about being content to wait upon the will of God as He works out His eternal plan for you and the rest of creation.  She’s talking about the ability to not explode when the 3yo sends a bowl of cereal flying through the air into the 6yo’s hair because she was horsing around with the 5yo whom you already told to sit down 173 times.

    While the Biblical sort of patience certainly helps, I think what we really mean by “patient” is “slow to anger.”  We have the following verses posted on our walls:

    Be not quick in your spirit to become angry,
    for anger lodges in the bosom of fools.  Ecc. 7:9

    A hot-tempered man stirs up strife,
    but the slow to anger calms a dispute.  Pr. 15:18

    He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty,
    and he who rules his spirit, than he who captures a city.  Pr. 16:32

    Of course well-behaved children are a good start.  No child is perfect, and even the well-behaved ones will exhibit immaturity and poor judgment at times, but the simple truth is that it’s easier to be a joyful mother to obedient children than to disobedient ones.

    A wise son makes a glad father,
    but a foolish son is a sorrow to his mother. Pr. 10:1

    The father of the righteous will greatly rejoice;
    he who fathers a wise son will be glad in him.
    Let your father and mother be glad;
    let her who bore you rejoice.  Pr. 23:24-25

    But when life with children isn’t all sunshine and lollipops, so how do you slow down the anger/irritation reflex when things get loud, chaotic, messy, argumentative, smelly, or otherwise unpleasant?  Remember this paragraph from my recent post Life with Littles?

    God doesn’t give us the grace, or the energy, or the patience we need for the whole upcoming year all in one dose. He measures it out for us day by day, like the manna He gave the Israelites in the wilderness.  Planning ahead is good in general, but when the Israelites tried against God’s command to gather enough manna for the following day they found it rotted.  Don’t worry about tomorrow.  Do your best today.  God’s way keeps you coming back to Him.  If you start feeling like you can do this all on your own, things are about to go downhill.

    We do it one day, one hour, one moment at a time, with lots of prayer.  Does it help to get angry when food goes flying?  Probably not.  Just choke it back this once, and force a smile.  Ask God to restrain your anger and unkind words.  Help them clean up their messes, and deal with disobedience as necessary.

    The next time childishness happens, choke back the irritation once more.  Just this once.

    And again…and again.  If something really epic happens and you feel the urge to get angry, distract yourself: start composing the blog post in your head.  Well, it works for me…

    With practice, you’ll probably find that irritation is not your automatic reaction, and the smiles come without forcing.  This is motherhood, and it’s very much the same whether you have 1 child or 11.  You are being sanctified every day, and God is using your children to do His work in you.

     


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    For tired young mothers of many

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    Back when we had a lot of Littles and no Bigs, daily life looked very different.  Sometimes it felt a little dark and hopeless.  How could I do everything that I need to do?  How could I be a good wife, a good mother, a good Christian, while battling morning sickness and creeping chaos of a house with so many little ones?

    I struggled to do all the things that I thought I needed to do, often failing.  On a good day, I got everyone’s hair done before the mats moved in.  Laundry was always a struggle, but somehow I kept up.  Children and bedding got washed as needed because I refused to add another thing to The Schedule.

    I often stayed up too late, either because the kids needed me or because I was savoring those few quiet hours of the day in which they didn’t need me.  Many nights, I was wakened once by a nursing baby, again by a crying 2yo and/or a wet 3yo and/or a sleepwalking 4yo and/or a 5yo who just threw up on the 3yo’s hair.  If the days seemed too short, the nights stretched on forever.  Neither afforded much time for sleep or rest.

    At that time in our life, we had no family within 1,000 miles.  The church Perry had attended since he was 15 had dissolved in a mess ugly beyond belief.  He was unhappy at his primary job, and working 2 more jobs on the side.  We had personal problems and marriage problems.  In spite of a few local friends, we felt very alone in our world.

    That was the bad side.  Sometimes, that’s what I remember about those early days.  When people told me to enjoy them because they would pass too quickly, I just hoped they were right.

    But I also remember walking to the library on a crisp day with a double stroller packed full of shining faces.  I remember the friendly librarians who smiled when we walked in and knew us all by name.  We spent a lot of time there!

    I remember our friends at the cheese factory who always greeted us with bright smiles, free tours, and sample bags for each child packed full of all the best kinds of cheese in the world.  Every visit turned into a picnic.

    I remember building the Great Wall of China in the living room with wooden blocks, and a 4 foot Eiffel Tower made entirely of marshmallows.

    I remember using Five in a Row For tired young mothers of many for school.  We read endless picture books, and every single one was a favorite.

    I remember snow forts and hide-and-seek and a giant wooden playset given to us for free by an acquaintance I barely knew.  Her husband worked at a local lumber store and was able to borrow a big flatbed truck to deliver it for us, fully assembled and ready for use.

    I remember grocery trips that began and ended with laughter, packed full of smiles and compliments from every passer-by.

    I remember the hot air balloon festival at the county fairgrounds, just a few blocks away.

    I remember long family bike rides all over our little town with 2 little ones in a bike trailer behind each of us, and a fifth child on a baby seat, 8yo Deanna trailing behind on a bike of her own.  She seemed so big to us back then, and now she’s nearly 18.

    I remember trips to the zoo, to used book stores, to Chuck E. Cheese, to our friends in the country with the huge country house, to Texas and Tennessee and Oregon.  We may not have gone to Disneyland every year, but we made memories – good memories!

    Why do I sometimes think of those days as dark and full of chaos?  They were also some of our happiest, most carefree times.

    I think attitude plays a huge part in what we remember, how we remember it, and which memories we call to mind.

    You can’t change your attitude in the past, but you can pray for a good attitude today and in the future.  You can choose which memories to review and relive, and which to let go.  You can look back with a good attitude and call to mind the good times, forgetting the bad ones – or seeing how God used those bad times to bless you in ways you didn’t understand at the time.

    Now I’m the mom with older children, speaking to the tired young mother.  Now I’m telling you to enjoy those days, because they will pass quickly.  It’s true.  I nodded and smiled when they said it to me, but I didn’t really believe their words.

    Now I see the end of my baby days coming soon, the end of a season approaching.  Yesterday, I was you.  Today, I am my mom.  Tomorrow, I’ll be my grandmother.  They were right.  It does happen quickly.  I’m sorry I ever doubted them.

    Yes, your days are long and busy, and you never seem to get enough sleep.  You don’t think you spend enough one-on-one time with your children, and you feel guilty or stressed or worried.  I’m not discounting that.  This a busy season in life, and a hard one.

    But still enjoy it.  Remind yourself to remember the good times, and let the bad times fade out of time and mind.  Ask God to help you do better tomorrow, and let the day’s failures disappear when you crawl into bed.

    4 Moms Naptime linky

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    4moms35kids 4 Moms Naptime linky

    It’s Thursday yet again, and this time the 4 Moms are talking about naps this week.  I wish I could say we were taking naps instead of just talking about them, because like most moms I feel like I operate on a perpetual sleep deficit.

    I’ve spent a very large proportion of the nighttime hours of the last 18 years doing night feedings, soothing nightmares and night terrors, changing wet sheets, bathing sick children along with the sibling who woke up with vomit in her hair, checking the breathing of a baby who is sleeping too well…and loving every minute of it.  Well, more or less, in a theoretical kind of way.

    I certainly haven’t pulled all those night shifts alone, and this is where my hunney would probably appreciate it if I mention that he often sends me to bed early while he battens the hatches, and I have to give him credit for helping me to get as much sleep as I do.  No, he’s not for sale.

    Oh, but I was supposed to talk about naptime, wasn’t?  For the kids, you mean?  Very well, then.

    Once upon a time, when all the Coghlan children were very young and small, we all had naps or quiet time every single day without fail.  Maybe you’re wondering about the difference between a nap and quiet time?  If you were young enough or tired enough to fall asleep, it was a nap.  If you managed to stay awake the whole time, it was quiet time.

    If the kids are doing quiet time while Mom takes a nap, you might have a problem.  You might also decide that the nap was worth the mess you found when you woke up, provided the toddler didn’t wander down the street wearing nothing but a diaper.  I’m not saying this ever happened to me, but I’m also not saying that something similar never happened.

    am saying that training is important.  The little ones can and should be taught to stay in bed until nap time is officially over.  This will take an investment of time on your part, but it is sooo worth it.  Stake out the door for a few days or weeks, and you will have years of afternoon peace for your own nap/quiet time.

    For one particularly stubborn child, I used a scarecrow. My husband once bought a tiger mask that covered not just his face, but his entire head.  When he wore it and went about the house on all fours, even I felt a lump of fear in my stomach.  It was realistic and terrifying, and even after the novelty wore off, our strong-willed toddler was still afraid to open the toybox if she thought the tiger might be lurking in the depths.

    Heh, heh.  Call me a bad mom.

    At nap time, I tucked her in and gave her a kiss.  I reminded her to obey and stay in bed, knowing full well she would try to creep out as soon as she thought I was down the stairs.  I closed the door behind me and perched the tiger head on a chair just outside the door, right at eye level for a 3yo.

    That may have been the last time she got up during nap time.  Ah, memories.

    It’s been years since we did a daily household-wide quiet time.  The definitions of nap time and quiet time still stand, but those of us who don’t regularly melt into a quivering heap of tears at the end of the day usually do without either these days.  I don’t necessarily recommend this.  I think quiet time can be especially beneficial for a large and busy household, and we’re always talking about going back to the good old days.

    Naptime reading

    Our kids love when I read aloud to them – doesn’t every child?  I have found that naptime is a perfect time for read-alouds.  It entertains their brains while their little bodies are winding down.  Since they all sleep in the same room, I can read to all of them at once after they’re tucked in.

    I often read something short and sweet for the very little ones (Goodnight Moon and Sandra Boynton’s Going to Bed Book are favorites), but I find that they also enjoy the chapter books I read for the slightly older children.

    We recently read through several of the Boxcar Children series, and in the past have also read Little House books, the Chronicles of Narnia, and some others that slip my mind at the moment.  Chapter books give them a reason to look forward to naptime, a chance to wind down during naptime, and something to discuss after naptime.

    The linky: your favorite naptime book(s)

    We promised a linky today, and here it is.  Share your favorite naptime reads and link up here.  When you join the linky at one of the 4 Mom’s, your link will show up on all 4!

    Please remember the linky rules:

    1. You must link to a specific relevant post on your blog.
    2. Your post must include a link to at least one of the 4 Moms.
    3. The post you link to must be completely family friendly.

    If your link is deleted, you probably didn’t follow one of the rules above. Please feel free to add your link again once you have fixed the problem. If you don’t know why your link was deleted, please ask.

    No blog, or no time to post?  Share your favorite naptime story in the comments!

    Mister Linky’s Magical Widgets — Easy-Linky widget will appear right here!
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    All About Parker

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    IMG 6242 300x200 All About ParkerSince today is Parker’s birthday (and since Suki asked), today’s post is all about Parker.  This is my substitute for a baby book and will serve as my memory in years to come, but we hope you’ll enjoy it too.

    Today is National Chocolate Ice Cream, and it’s also Parker’s first birthday.  Please don’t think I’m a bad mom because I put the ice cream first.  After all, it’s chocolate.  Wait, I meant to say that I was going from least important to most.  That’s what I meant.

    We can’t believe it’s only been a year since we met Parker.  He’s such a personable little guy, he makes everyone feel like his best friend.  I mean that quite literally.  I can’t count the number of people who have told me, “I think I’m his favorite person!”

    His charm IMG 6750 300x200 All About Parker

    He’s quite popular everywhere we go, and it’s not just because he’s a baby.  He’s also a shameless flirt.  I often catch him scanning the crowds, trying to catch someone’s eye.  It’s always a girl or woman, and when she looks his way he flashes his brightest, sweetest smile.

    My sister told me his smile looks like when Squints smiles at Wendy Peffercorn in the movie Sandlot, and I can’t deny it. In the store, in the parking lot, in the fast food restaurant (who? me?)…every time I take him out I hear the ladies around us giggle and whisper.  ”Look – he smiled at me!  He likes me!  Did you see him?  He’s so cute!”  It’s like being Justin Bieber’s mom.

    At large gatherings of people we know, he’s passed around so much I have to hunt him down for feedings.  ”Ladies,” he tells them in a svelte voice. “There’s plenty of me to go around.”  At a recent wedding I asked Mother Hen’s hubby if he knew where Parker was and he replied, “Oh, he’s off body-surfing the crowd somewhere.”  That’s my little rock star baby.

    Personality

    He is a very pleasant guy, always ready with a smile, but it’s unbelievably hard to make him laugh out loud.  The only reliable way to get even a chuckle is to eat his ribs.  A backup method that sometimes gets good results is to help him punch and kick his brother.

    Nothing pleases him more than to understand and be understood, and he loves to be in the middle of everything.  As a tenth child, he can sleep through anything but silence, and he gets nervous and clingy when not surrounded by a crowd of loving family and friends.

    At first glance many people think that Perry Boy takes after his dad, but in reality he looks like his dad now. He looks nothing like his dad did as a little boy.  Instead, Parker is the spitting image of his dad at this age.  From what I’ve heard, the personalities of our two boys work the same way.  Parker is friendly but quiet and laid back like his dad was as a little guy.  Perry is gregarious, fun and just a little bit crazy like his dad is now. icon smile All About Parker

    Transportation

    As of his first birthday, Parker is not crawling and it seems safe to assume he won’t until he’s old enough to do it in play.  His primary mode of transportation is the butt-scoot just like his older brother did.  It’s just as fast as crawling and even more efficient since it can leave one hand free if he wants to carry something with him.  It’s not completely hands-free like Bethany’s mode of transportation was, but it works for him.IMG 6807 200x300 All About Parker

    He cruises around the furniture with ease, and loves to cling to our legs and tug at our skirts.  Elastic waistbands, beware!

    He can stand unsupported for a few seconds at a time, and his sisters are convinced that he could walk if he just tried hard enough.  He objects vociferously when they try to force him to take steps on his own, but I’m sure he’ll be walking very soon.

    Communication

    I seem to remember that a baby has an average of 20 words on his/her first birthday.  Some of our children have hit the average, while others were far more verbal.  Deanna regularly used over 150 words by her first birthday.  She was my first, so I have the actual list.

    Parker is bright and observant, but I don’t think his list of words is up to 20 yet.  His people skills outweigh his verbal skills, which is fine.  We enjoy his charm. He tries to say many of his siblings’ names, but here are the words he uses unprompted:

    1. mama or mom (he uses both)
    2. dada or dad
    3. boo (when he wants to nurse)
    4. dog
    5. this
    6. that
    7. hi
    8. bye
    9. outside
    10. guys (our term for siblings, as in “Where are your guys?”  I think it’s a north-western thing left over from my first 13 years in Oregon.)
    11. thirsty (he learned to say this very soon after he learned the sign)

    IMG 6851 200x300 All About ParkerI love to teach my babies sign language, and Parker has quickly picked up a few of the most useful signs when I remember to introduce them and uses them with enthusiasm.

    If we count sign language he’s much closer to 20 words, and he’s very good now at making his wishes known, something he thoroughly appreciates.

    1. no
    2. please
    3. hungry
    4. thirsty
    5. more
    6. yes
    7. poop (our made-up sign resembles the letter P and he added some appropriate sound effects)
    8. thank you (just beginning to get this one)

    Stats

    • weight: 21 lbs.
    • height: 28.5″
    • teeth: 7 (4 on top, 3 on bottom)
    • shoe size: 3
    • clothing size: 6-9 mos

    Obedience

    I loved and used blanket training for some of my older children back when I didn’t have so many helpers.  Now Parker has eyes on him everywhere he goes, nearly every minute of the day so he has learned his boundaries differently.

    He knows that there’s one cabinet he is allowed to play in – the one that holds all the plastic bowls, containers, lids, etc. – and he knows not to eat the dog food or play in the dog water.  Well, at least in theory.

    He understands and obeys when we tell him no, and he even tells himself no (in sign language) if we catch him where he shouldn’t be, doing what he shouldn’t do.  Then he smiles disarmingly (“See?” his eyes say.  ”We agree!”) and scoots away.  Oh, he’s a charmer, he is.  This houseful of women is in trouble.

    SleepIMG 6682 300x200 All About Parker

    Parker has just begun reliably sleeping through the night.  This is utterly unheard of in our household.  Rachael occasionally woke up during the night after the age of 6 months, but all the others have slept 7-9 solid hours starting somewhere between 6 weeks and 4 months.

    I think at least two factors have contributed to this:

    • I’m getting soft in my old age. One of my basic principles for teaching a baby to sleep through the night is to let them work up to a real cry before I get them out of bed.  This doesn’t mean I let them cry it out, but it does mean I don’t pick up a baby who is just fussing and might easily fall back to sleep.  In Parker’s case, he fussed and fussed and fussed…never a real cry, but just enough to keep me awake for a long, long time.  I don’t know if I would do it differently now, but after a while I just started getting him up as soon as the fussing began.
    • He’s always been a scrawny guy. Several of my babies have been very wiry and were very good sleepers, but when a baby is on the small side we all want to play it safe.  If he woke up during the night and said he was hungry, I didn’t make him work to convince me.  I took him at his word much more readily than I would a chunkier baby.

    Now he’s eating a lot more solid food, and while he still looks more like a spider monkey than a chunky monkey, he has begun sleeping for longer stretches.

    Nicknames

    His name is Parker Cromwell, named after my dad Stephen Parker Brown who passed away just over 2 months ago at the age of 58. We’re big on nicknames and I can’t begin to list all of his.

    His most commonly used nicknames include Pickle (from Bethany’s pronunciation of Parker), Buddy, and Doodle, which he has nearly outgrown.   I’ve also called him Milkman, Monkey Boy, Booby Boy, and Poop Monster when it suits the occasion.

    Favorites IMG 6830 300x200 All About Parker

    He loves to play the keyboard, ride his brother’s pedal car, play in the plastics cupboard, watch movies with his guys, share earbuds with his sisters, read books with or without a narrator.

    Our huge 11yo cat, who should be old and cranky by now, is strangely tolerant of his attentions.

    He loves to be outside and is fascinated by wind, trees, the moon and all the other wonders of creation. And he loves me.  I think I’m his favorite person!

    Heard it in real life

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    You know those amazing stories about women giving birth when they didn’t even know they were pregnant?

    Kim Brenneman of Large Family Logistics almost had an experience like that.  If my recollection is correct, she made it to 25 weeks without knowing, then had a preemie just 2 weeks later. You can read about it in the preface of her book, Large Family Logistics.

    But almost only counts in horseshoes, as they say, and Kim did have just a bit of notice.  Anyway, I know somebody in real life who has experienced this.  She and her husband are very good friends of my brother and his wife, and we all spent an evening together last weekend.  I heard the whole story from the husband, then couldn’t resist going straight to the wife to get her version.  Of course they matched perfectly except for the varying levels of panic, hilarity and hysteria expressed or implied.

    In a nutshell, here’s what happened: Jake came home from work one evening to find Diane suffering from back/stomach pains.  They assumed she was sick, and went to bed hoping she would be better in the morning.

    During the night, Jake awoke to the sound of Diane crying out in pain.  He insisted on taking her straight to the emergency room, but hurt his back carrying her across the parking lot.  She felt better for a moment and finished the trek herself, then the pain hit her again.

    Inside an examining room, Diane told the nurse, “I’ve never hurt so much except when my daughter was born, but I’m not even pregnant now!”   The nurse put 2 and 2 together and did a quick check, finding that Diane was 9 centimeters dilated!

    They called for a doctor who arrived with just 12 minutes to spare.  Jake and Diane left the hospital with a healthy 5 lb, 4 oz. boy who they estimated was 7 weeks early.

    Really.  You’ve seen stories like this in the news, and now I’ve met at least one woman who lived it.

    Diane said her first pregnancy was very typical, which made it all the more shocking that she never suspected she was pregnant the second time.

    She had regular cycles throughout the pregnancy.  She was at the doctor several times in the preceding months for other reasons.

    She was overweight, but not dramatically.  She had been dieting, so she actually lost weight during the course of the pregnancy.

    Jake confirmed that neither of them ever suspected pregnancy at any point before the nurse said the word dilated and centimeters.

    Now she is expecting a third child and having a completely normal pregnancy.  With 7 weeks to her duedate, you could never miss the fact that she is expecting.

    What do you think?  Incredible?  Or have you heard or even experienced something like this yourself?