parenting

Birth stories: #1-4

Current giveaway: Grandpa Jake's Campfire Cooker

June 5, 2006 By kimc

With another round of labor and delivery fast approaching, I’ve been mentally reviewing my past labors.
All 8 have been at home, with a midwife.
I have a lot of Braxton-Hicks contractions, so I’m never really sure when labor starts. At some point I usually just comment to hubby, “I’ve think I’ve been having contractions for 6 hours now…I wonder if I’m in labor…” and he knows it’s time.

#1
I showed very little with our first: the day before she was born, I measured just 6 1/2 months.
Nine days before my duedate, on a Thursday, I realized at about 10PM that I had been having regular contractions since some time before dinner. When had they started? Maybe I was in labor. We were planning on spending the night at hubby’s parents’ house, but decided it might be a good idea to go on home.
We called the midwife soon after, and she arrived around midnight to find me dilated to 4 cm. and labor just getting to the point where it required my entire attention. Labor was rather typical, I think, for a first time: intense and painful. Deanna was born 7 hours later, after several hours of back-to-back contractions and 45 minutes of pushing.
She weighed 7 lbs. 6 oz. and was born on my father-in-law’s 40th birthday.

#2
With our second, labor began and ended on a Thursday 3 days before the baby’s duedate. I had spent the evening before assembling a piece of exercise equipment for Hubby’s birthday. I guess that was the target of my nesting instinct: get the large box out of the living room.
I was having regular contractions Thursday morning when hubby left for work. This was nothing unusual, so I wasn’t about to ask him to stay home. The contractions started and stopped all day. We kept in touch and when it became apparent that labor had started in earnest, he headed home early.
We called the midwife to let her know that her services would be wanted sometime soon, and settled down to wait. 21 month-old Deanna went to Grandma & Grandpa’s house for the rest of the day.
Kaitlyn was born at 10PM, after 5 hours of real labor (the part that hurts!) and 20 minutes of pushing. She weighed 7 lbs. 4 oz. and was born just 2 days before my dad’s birthday.
Since she was born so close to Easter, we got up early the next morning and went shopping to get her an Easter/baptism dress. The midwife was much amused and a little chagrined when we entirely forgot that she would be back to check on us. She said we were the first ever to miss the 24 hour checkup, especially since it came at closer to 12 hours.

#3
Lydia was born 19 months later. My third labor was less painful than the first two. Labor started on a Thursday, Halloween, a holiday we don’t observe. Again, hubby was at work and I think I was in labor all day – we were busy gathering the last fragments of paperwork to close the purchase of our first home, and I was on the phone all day during and between contractions. We used a smalltown bank where the tellers knew us by name, and they were tickled to know that I was in labor while on the phone with them!
Once the business day came to a close and we were ready to close on our house, I got down to business. A little before midnight I was fully dilated and enjoying a break in labor, but finally began to grow impatient. After 20 minutes of nothing, with Halloween safely past (who wants a birthday like that?) we let the midwife break my water.
Labor started again in earnest, and Little Lydia was born 20 minutes later, after about 15 minutes of pushing. She arrived on All Saints Day, November 1. She was our smallest, at 6 lbs. 12 oz., and has always been a little skinny girl
We officially closed on our house Monday morning, and moved 4 weeks later.

#4
Megan was our first child born in the new house. Labor began on – nope, not a Thursday. Sunday. Megan was different from the start. She was our first to go past the duedate. Those 5 days felt like forever to a momma who was used to having a new baby before the duedate.
She was far more active in utero, and we were convinced she would be a boy. As it turned out, she was just a far more active girl. Still is.
My midwife retired without notice less than 2 months before Megan was born, so we scrambled for a new midwife before the baby arrived.
I’m sure it was transitional crabbiness, but my most vivid memory of the new midwife was her arrival as I struggled to maintain my composure during a particularly painful contraction. I was concentrating on relaxing, holding on by a thin thread, as she breezed into the room. “Hi!” she said brightly. She glanced in my direction. “Does she always labor this easily?”
Grrr.
Labor was uneventful and much like the others, though a little more painful than the last. I think I had 5 hours of the “real” stuff – the painful stuff. I delivered on hands and knees. Never again.
Megan was born on Memorial Day, around 8AM. She weighed in at 7 lbs. 8 oz.
Did I mention that I had full and instantaneous recoveries after the first three? True to tradition, I waited til the midwife wasn’t looking, hopped out of bed, trotted downstairs and ran out the back door to show the new baby to the children and neighbors. As I reached the yard, I decided that maybe the 4th was time to take things a little slower. I sat down woozily at the picnic table, chatted for a few minutes, then casually sauntered back into the house and headed for bed.
Megan’s older sisters were 4, 3, and 19 months. We now had 4 girls, 4yo and under, and no family within 1000 miles. These were busy days.

continued here

Filed Under: birth stories, pregnancy/labor 15 Comments

WFMW: car food

Current giveaway: Grandpa Jake's Campfire Cooker

May 31, 2006 By kimc

With summer upon us and thoughts of vacation in everyone’s head, my Works For Me Wednesday tip for this week is about eating in the car.
When we go on road trips, rather than eat out the whole way we try to pack some snacks and meals that are not too messy: crumbs are easy to clean up, but we try to avoid grease and stickiness.
My best and brightest idea: wraps instead of sandwiches. No spread necessary. Just a bag of tortillas and some lunchmeat or deli meat and presliced cheese. These are a snap to assemble on your lap, and clean and easy for the kids to eat.
Baby carrots are another good snack for both kids and adults – a little natural sugar gives a natural pick-me-up, but no kids bouncing off the walls or lasting consequences to the size of my hips. I find that the crunch also helps me stay alert on long drowsy drives.
Pretzels leave crumbs, but none of the greasy mess of chips.
Jerky is great, but expensive.
Dried fruit is delicious and not terribly sticky – but be careful. It packs a lot of energy. You may want to serve it a few minutes before a break in the drive.
We also like to use (and re-use) the water bottles with pull-out squirt tops for drinks – nearly spill proof, and no lost caps. Drinking only water decreases potty stops, since they will be more likely to drink for true thirst rather than for the sugar. Not letting them drink sugary sodas also reduces the number of times you will want to throw your children out the window.
Oh, and now that we’ve mentioned potty breaks: just resign yourself, and stop frequently. Don’t try to skimp on these. Otherwise you might find yourself on a deserted stretch of highway at 2 AM, changing a crying wet 3yo with a curious State Trooper breathing down your neck. Just trust me on this.

Filed Under: food, methods, parenting 11 Comments

My sister’s scale, part II

Current giveaway: Grandpa Jake's Campfire Cooker

May 5, 2006 By kimc

My sister’s scale is good and true. It spoke the truth to me, unlike my own memory. I really did weigh just what it told me, but last month I was actually 3 lbs. (not just 1 lb.) away from that Greatest-Ever Personal Weight Record. This month, I gained…ummm…3 lbs.
I’m there. I am at that Number Which Ends With Zero, which I have only seen once before. Teetering on the brink, with 6 weeks to go. This had better be a boy.
Or twins. Twins would be good.

Other notes from my prenatal checkup yesterday:

Baby is finally head down, with very little room to maneuver. This is good news, as it means Baby will likely stay head down. This is particularly good news since Baby stayed so stubbornly head-up ever since Baby had a findable head and a stated preference.
There is really, truly only one baby. No twins. At least, no reason to suspect twins.
Baby is very active and very responsive.
I am now measuring precisely on schedule, thanks to Baby being head down. Head-up babies cause bigger measurements.
My iron level is very good, and I didn’t faint when she stuck me. The children were sadly disappointed.
Gas is so high that every prenatal visit (plus the 17 miles-further sister visit that follows) now costs nearly $30 at the pump. I’m so glad that my pregnant sister can carpool with us, and that we have 2 more sisters who live (with their husbands and 4 collective children) just 17 miles from the midwives.
I might, just might, only need to make the drive once more. In 3 weeks I go again; 2 weeks after that the midwife will do a home visit to make sure she can find our house. Then I will have just over 1 week left to my duedate; if I’m no more than 2 weeks late I’ll be home free!

Just for the record, I nearly always go into labor on a Thursday. Then baby is born late Thursday or early Friday – except for our millenium baby who started on the traditional Thursday and didn’t arrive til after midnight, Saturday morning. And I’ve never been more than 8 days late: on average, it’s closer to 1 or 2 days late.

So…I’m penciling in New Baby Coghlan for June 23. Is that good for everyone?

Filed Under: pregnancy/labor 4 Comments

Potty training wisdom

Current giveaway: Grandpa Jake's Campfire Cooker

May 5, 2006 By kimc

I lifted this priceless quote from the Dear Headmistress over at the Common Room. She does not claim the statement as her own, but she has carried it about in her head and pulled out to share with us, so I do consider it to belong to her. Please do her the favor of a visit, and read her article on teaching the mechanics of punctuation.

It’s like potty training- you can work really hard at it, spend much time,
attention and training on a daily basis, and your child will be toilet trained
at 24 months. Or you can let nature take its course, wait until the child is
ready to proceed at his own speed and he’ll be potty trained at two years.

I feel exactly this way about both potty training and reading. I’m so glad to know I’m not the only one.

Filed Under: potty training 7 Comments

Sarah

Current giveaway: Grandpa Jake's Campfire Cooker

April 27, 2006 By kimc

Every time I feel our baby kick inside me, I say a short “thank you” to God. I want to stroke my belly, smile and say to the baby, “Hi! You’re still there!” This attitude has a lot to do with Sarah.
As I approach the end of this pregnancy, little Sarah has been much on my mind. Sarah was our 7th daughter, born June 14, 2003. She would be turning 3 soon.
When I was 4 months pregnant with Sarah, we began preparations for an abrupt move from Ohio to Texas. This move was something we had longed for and when God finally brought it about it happened very quickly.
I hadn’t seen a midwife yet due to poor road conditions (standard for Ohio winters), and scurried to do so before leaving the area. I measured quite large and she suspected twins. She encouraged me to schedule a sonogram – my first ever!
At the sonogram, I saw a beautiful baby girl – just one. We decided to call her Sarah. For the first time ever, one of our children had a name and a face before birth.
We moved, and I found a new midwife here in Texas.
I had a rather difficult pregnancy: lots of morning sickness, severe hypoglycemia, and the stress of living with our 6 children in a small travel trailer in Mom and Dad’s driveway while we bought land nearby and started building our house. During much of the day, our household was integrated – not always smoothly – with Mom and Dad’s already crowded household of 13. It should have been 14, but Grandma was in the hospital and died less than 3 weeks after we arrived.
On Sunday, June 1 at 34 weeks gestation, I realized Sarah hadn’t moved in quite a while. At a prenatal checkup 3 days earlier, she was fine. I didn’t immediately panic: She had never been a highly active baby and I had a lot of amniotic fluid, so I generally didn’t notice movement unless I was really looking for it.
But I was concerned; I talked to my hubby. We talked to my mom. She had a stethoscope, and we tried to find a heartbeat. Finally, we thought we succeeded. It was slow for a baby but too fast to be mine – or was it? In retrospect, it must have been my own. But we were a little encouraged. I called my midwife who strongly suggested that we go to the emergency room, and we didn’t doubt her. It was late Sunday night, the kids were in bed, and Hubby and I were in the car in minutes.
That night I had my second sonogram, but this one was not like the first. There was our little girl, but no heartbeat. They called in a second doctor to confirm the news before spelling it out to us, but it wasn’t hard to read their sad and sober faces.
They suggested that in the absence of other known causes, gestational diabetes was a good guess. There did seem to be something wrong with one of her kidneys – no one was quite sure if that provided an explanation.
We were relieved to hear that there was no pressing reason to induce labor right away – labor should start naturally soon enough, and could still be done at home as all our other births had.
Half numb with the shock, we went home to share the sad news with our 6 daughters, my parents, and their 11 children who still lived there at the house, not to mention extended family and friends.
After a couple of days of bleary-eyed sobbing on my part, we settled down to wait. The midwife explained what to expect:
Labor would probably start naturally in 1-2 weeks, and would be very much like a normal labor and delivery.
The body would be very soft, her skin very delicate. She would not really deteriorate in the womb – we would have a funeral to plan and a child to bury.
I needed weekly blood tests which she would administer, to monitor the levels of certain toxins in my own blood.
In the end, it took nearly 2 weeks for labor to start. I’m guessing that she died 3 days before the hospital visit, so really it was even more than 2 weeks.
Those were long slow days, but not a nightmare. I found myself waiting on the Lord’s timing, resting heavily on Scripture. I actually looked forward to labor, finding great comfort in David’s actions first while he fasted and mourned and prayed for his son’s life, then rose and ate and dressed upon learning that the child had died. I was puzzled at my own feelings, but I was sure that the worst had already passed and the funeral would be a true relief for me.
God made our path straight throughout this trial: funeral planning was simple. Mom and Dad have a private cemetery on their land, and Grandma had just died a few months earlier so we knew just what needed to be done. A woodworking friend built a lovely little coffin for us, and Hubby chose a nice spot in a secluded corner of the cemetery. The men in the family helped him make a deep hole in the hard, rocky earth. It was hot, sweaty work. Mom and I padded the coffin and lined it with soft, pretty fabric. There is something very therapeutic about doing funeral preparations. I think we miss out on this aspect of “closure” when the funeral home does everything for us.
The county coroner was notified of the situation and would expect a call after the baby was delivered. He would do his duty at the house, and we could proceed with the funeral at our own convenience. No need to send the body away to strangers in strange places.
Labor started late Friday night. As with our other children, she born on a holiday: Flag Day, June 14. Labor was uneventful, and the birth was a quiet relief. Mom and I held her for a while. She looked like some of our other daughters: lots of dark hair, round pretty face. There was nothing hideous in the experience. She was beautiful and very still. I understand now why it is called a still birth.
The coroner came and went, and we called family and friends.
When the sun came up, the children wanted to see her. They said she looked like a doll – a little baby girl too still to be real.
The funeral was held the following morning, and it was indeed an event of quiet and solemn joy – for me, at least. There were a few tears, but smiles came quickly afterward. Our daughter wasn’t with us, but we knew where she was. How could we begrudge her the bliss in which she lived now? Why should we question our Father’s wisdom in taking her there so soon? She has beaten us to the end of the race – she won. We labor on for the time.

Farewel dear babe, my hearts too much content,
Farewel sweet babe, the pleasure of mine eye,
Farewel fair flower that for a space was lent,
Then ta’en away unto Eternity
Blest babe why should I once bewail thy fate,
Or sigh the dayes so soon were terminate;
Sith thou art settled in an Everlasting state.

By Nature Trees do rot when they are grown.
And Plumbs and Apples thoroughly ripe do fall,
And Corn and grass are in their season mown,
And time brings down what is both strong and tall.
But plants new set to be eradicate,
And buds new blown, to have so short a date,
Is by his hand alone that guides nature and fate.

By Anne Bradstreet, in memory of her grandchild who deceased August, 1665 being a year and half old.

Sarah’s short time with us has not left us fearful. Rather, it was encouraging. We have experienced what every parent fears, and found that God was in that dark valley with us. We were never alone. It was not an experience beyond what we could bear.

The Lord is my light and my salvation. Whom shall I fear? The Lord is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid? (Psalm 27:1)

We always knew, but have been reminded of how precious life is, and will never take for granted that children seem to arrive on a regular schedule in our household. I have more aches in pregnancy now than I did earlier years, but I have learned to love being pregnant in ways that I never understood before. I look differently on the discomforts and inconveniences of pregnancy. Queasiness and creaking hips and aching feet are not a trial to be endured, but daily reminders of a blessing: these things remind me every moment to thank God for the child I hold in my belly, whom we will soon (Lord willing) hold in our arms.
I don’t believe that it couldn’t happen again, but I’m not fearful. This child – all of our children – belong to the Lord. He knows His plans for them and for us, and we trust Him.

Filed Under: birth stories, Christian living, grieving, pregnancy/labor, thoughtful stuff 50 Comments

Big girl naps

Current giveaway: Grandpa Jake's Campfire Cooker

April 24, 2006 By kimc

My 6yo and 4yo still take daily naps, but we’re testing a new technique. The 6yo has branded it “Big Girl Naps.”
Rather than lying down for an hour and a half, with frequent admonishments to be still and be quiet, we set a 30 minute timer. They must pretend to sleep until the timer beeps. If they open their eyes, move about, make a peep, or fake a snore, the timer starts over. If they don’t, they may get up when the timer goes off.

If they’re still awake.

Filed Under: parenting 3 Comments

7 kids, 1 sucker. Now what?

Current giveaway: Grandpa Jake's Campfire Cooker

March 23, 2006 By kimc

I came across another mom who wonders what to do when some well-meaning and unthinking soul gives just one of her children a treat – often without suggesting that it be shared amongst the onlooking siblings.
We have one rule that covers such situations very neatly:

Do unto others as you would have others do unto you.

Sound familiar? In Kidspeak, it sounds more like, Don’t purposely make your sisters sad.
This means that if you have a sweet and delicious treat that they don’t have (never mind how you came by said treasure), don’t eat it in front of them without sharing. You wouldn’t want to stand by and watch your sister do the same.
You – the lucky owner of said treasure – have three obvious choices:

Share. This is the preferred choice, and usually works out quite well. Sharing doesn’t have to mean everyone gets one-for-one tastes, but it does mean to share as you would have others share with you: cheerfully and generously.
Wait. Save your treat for later – when hungry little eyes aren’t fixed on you, or better yet when hungry little mouths have treats of their own.
Hide. Or, to put it more subtly, Be discreet. Enjoy your treasure, but do so privately. If somebody knows what you are up to and finds you, share cheerfully. If you received and enjoyed a privilege or treat while you were away from the others (for example, at Grandma’s house), then you did this by default. Continue being discreet by not flaunting each privilege you enjoyed. Be courteous.

Of course, there is an entirely separate issue to deal with: that of coveting. The Have-nots may not covet what the Haves have. If a sister gets a treat or a privilege, the others may drool a little, but they may not show signs of covetousness. This is sin and is dealt with as such. Rather, they should be happy for the blessings that their loved ones receive. Like the right-of-way for a driver, shared portions are to be given not taken. They are to be graciously received as a gift, not claimed as a right.

I think our children benefit from the “unfairness” in our house: one or two children very often can enjoy privileges that must be denied the milling masses. The milling masses willingly wait, realizing that their turn will come around far more often than if privileges would only be extended on a massive scale or not at all.

This may mean that somebody stays up late and has the last bowl of ice cream. Would you rather it sat in the freezer until it was frost bitten?

A lucky child might get to go with me on a quick errand when Dad is home. If I had to take everyone, I might not go at all.

The first one up in the morning might enjoy a sausage sandwich for breakfast with Dad. This is not our normal breakfast – mornings would be expensive if we all ate that way everyday. But just a couple, now and then…no problem.

Our children learn early that life is not fair: if it were, we would all go to hell and Nobody Else would take the penalty for our sins. We’re glad life isn’t fair.

Filed Under: parenting 3 Comments

Kids for hire

Current giveaway: Grandpa Jake's Campfire Cooker

March 9, 2006 By kimc

Our children have regular daily chores. In fact, I would venture to say they do most of the basic housecleaning chores: dust, vacuum, pickup, laundry, windows, bathroom, pet care, most of the dishes, etc. All of this is done because they are part of the household; this is their contribution.
But there are a few ways that our kids earn spending money around the house. All jobs are on a whoever-sees-the-need-and-does-it-first basis. As you can see, they work cheap.
The following jobs are nearly always available to the enterprising young daughter whose school and household chores are done:

brush Mom’s hair: $.25/15 minutes
shoulder massage: $.25/15 minutes
dead fly bounty: $.10/carcass
rock lining around driveway and trees: $.10/long step
mulching around trees: $.50/wheelbarrow load
Dad & Mom’s laundry (wash, dry, hanging items on hangers while warm): $.50/load
make Dad & Mom’s bed: $.25 (only if they beat me to it in the morning)
pick up stray trash, paper scraps, etc. outside: $.01/piece

In addition, Hubby and I often come up with bigger one-time jobs for bigger one-time pay: washing cars, scrubbing tires, scraping year-old stickers off of all the windows in the house, changing a particularly heinous diaper with a cheerful attitude…Such jobs can pay $1-5 or occasionally even more.

Like the rest of us, our children are required to tithe off the top. After this, they divide their money into 2 equal parts: 1 for spending, 1 for savings. (need I say that Hubby and I don’t save 50% after tithes?) If they choose to put some of their spending money into savings as well, Hubby and I match the funds. It’s like a 401K, but when was the last time you got a 100% match?

The tithing is done cheerfully and without question, but we’re still working on the attitude about savings. It’s a subtle attitude: they love to see their savings grow, but they still think in terms of keeping (i.e. spending) 50% and saving 50%. We’re trying to teach them to see it the other way around: the money in their savings is the money they keep, while the spending money is soon gone and forgotten. Sigh…it’s a work in progress. I guess most of life is a work in progress.

Filed Under: humor, methods, parenting 4 Comments

I’m officially a whale

Current giveaway: Grandpa Jake's Campfire Cooker

March 8, 2006 By kimc

My midwife says it’s perfectly normal because the baby is reclining comfortably in an upright position, but I’m measuring 28 centimeters (=normal size for 28 weeks) at 25 weeks gestation.
Have I ever mentioned that I never used to show much? The day before our first daughter was born, I measured – yup – 28 cm.
I’ve also gained 15 pounds so far. Maybe that doesn’t sound like a whole lot, but for a momma who normally has lots of morning sickness, that’s normal full-term poundage.
Oh well…it’s exciting to anticipate a new baby, and it’s even exciting to be obviously pregnant. Somehow it’s much more “real” to look down and see a big churning belly (the movement is visible from outside now) than just looking like you’ve swallowed half of a cantaloupe.
I can’t wait to meet and hold this little one, and the girls are just as excited as I am. Our youngest (19 months) is utterly obsessed with babies and has no idea of what’s coming!
And when will the baby arrive? Our children are traditionally born on holidays and relatives’ birthdays. This baby is due June 20th. Possible targets include:

June 14, Flag Day and our little Sarah’s birthday
June 18, Father’s Day
June 25, my 15yo sister Carisa’s birthday
June 26, my Cousin Jeff’s birthday (also my sister’s duedate for her first baby)
June 28, my mom’s birthday and my 9mo nephew’s birthday
the same day as my sister’s first baby: yet to be determined
July 4, Independence Day

There’s just one small problem: Since I have started labor on a Thursday 5 times, all of these targets may prove difficult. Our last 5 have been on time or slightly late, so labor on June 22 (with delivery on the 22 or 23) looks likely. But hang in there, Carisa – the three who didn’t start on Thursday were born on Sunday or Monday.

Filed Under: pregnancy/labor 9 Comments

Kids are cheap

Current giveaway: Grandpa Jake's Campfire Cooker

February 25, 2006 By kimc

After reading this post on Free Money Finance, I just had to open my big fat mouth. Really, $15,000 for each year, for each child, to age 17? Do they really eat that much?
And if we didn’t have children, wouldn’t we find another way, probably far less fulfilling, to spend our money anyway?
I left a rather long comment, and then decided it was such a fine piece of literary frugality that I really had to save it for posterity. Here it is, for your reading pleasure:

I would estimate that our own expenses for 7 – count ‘em – 7 children, ages 19 months to 12 years, run roughly:

$350/month for food/non food grocery items (including toiletries, diapers, etc.) This is about 60% of our monthly grocery budget. Being small people, the children are much smaller eaters than hubby and I, and are collectively thrilled by a $4 bucket of ice cream, whereas our own treats rank a little higher on the financial and evolutionary scale. They also use far less of the disposable products as well – maybe since their bodies are smaller. Except the one in diapers: those run $25/month but are included in our monthly grocery, and she really doesn’t use her share of the food or toilet paper
$50/month for clothes and shoes, most purchased secondhand and passed down through the ranks. It certainly helps having all girls, though I realize there will be a price to pay later. Kimberly Clark will be handing us the bill.
$140/month for health and dental insurance. This is the difference between a family rate and a couple rate on our particular policies.
$120/month in additional medical/dental bills. This includes births. This, like the others, is a rather generous estimate. We rarely have medical incidents or bills.
$200/month in extra gas and vehicle maintennance, due to driving the larger-than-average family vehicle required by our larger-than-average family.
$210/month: this represents 30% of our monthly housing and utilites, since we would likely have a somewhat smaller home without children. Actually, this is only true in theory. Our current home, which we are living in as we build it with our own 18 hands, *is* small by most standards, and our utilities are very reasonable.
$50/month in homeschooling expenses. Actually, much of this is used to buy books that Hubby and I enjoy as well. But just for the fun of it, we’ll tack the bill on the children.
$1000/year for birthdays and Christmas. This varies a lot, and is a rather generous estimate. But hey, we’re generous people, right? Why else would we want to feed and dress a bunch of kids? sooo…grand total for annual support for all 7 children…$14,440
Oh my. It appears we’re raising 7 for the price of 1. I guess we can afford #8. That’s good news, since Baby #8 is due to arrive in a few months.

Filed Under: big family, frugal, parenting 22 Comments

First prenatal appointment!

Current giveaway: Grandpa Jake's Campfire Cooker

January 31, 2006 By kimc

Well, technically not the first appointment, but today was the first one I attended. I had to keep putting it off because the children were sick, and then I was forced to go to Hawaii…
But today was the day!
I heard the heartbeat: 150/minute.
I had my belly measured: I’m measuring 3 weeks bigger than my duedate indicates, but baby is lying breach right now, so that makes a bigger measurement entirely expected.
I’ve gained 8 lbs. so far.
I received disapproving looks for not remembering to take prenatal vitamins faithfully, and promised to try harder. This was so easy the first few times, and so hard lately! Maybe I’ll pay the kids for reminding me. They eagerly accept chocolate chips as legal tender for all debts.
I had blood drawn. All the girls were standing by, rooting for me to faint, but they were sorely disappointed. The midwife and I have learned through trial and error that I do fine if I lie down and she uses a pediatric needle.
Is anyone out there snickering because I, who have given birth at home naturally so many times pass out when somebody draws 3 oz. of blood? Yeah, I’m laughing at me too. I’m not a baby! Am not am not am not!
Next month is the glucose tolerance test. More blood. Well, actually I’ll have less blood. Yick.
On a brighter note, tomorrow is my halfway point: 20 weeks down, 20 to go. Then I can start counting down. Yippee!

Filed Under: pregnancy/labor 7 Comments

Girl talk: weaning a baby

Current giveaway: Grandpa Jake's Campfire Cooker

December 6, 2005 By kimc

The idea of a “method” for weaning is actually new to me. All of our other babies lost interest in nursing when they started solid foods, and by unspoken agreement weaning was painlessly accomplished around a year or less.

So be warned: I’m making this up as I go. But since I’ve recently weaned our 16 month old, and it wasn’t as traumatic as I feared it might be, I’m going to share a few helpful tips I learned along the way.

I think one thing that made this weaning go rather smoothly was that 2 or 3 months ago, hubby and I realized that our little darling was becoming a tyrant. She had been saying and signing “please” for 6 months, and thoroughly understood the concept. But she utterly refused to say please when she wanted to nurse. She firmly believed that my breasts belonged to her and were available upon demand.
We choose our battles carefully, but we didn’t hesitate on this one: the lines were drawn that very day. By the end of the day, she was saying “please” and able to handle the fact that occasionally the answer was “no.”
This, I think, laid an important foundation for further training. In all areas of her busy little life, her fiery red-headed temper seems to battle less with her naturally sweet disposition.
When we decided 2 weeks ago that it was time to wean her entirely, she was still nursing pretty frequently: first thing in the morning, when she woke up from morning and afternoon naps, and at night before bed, plus once or twice during longer stretches of the day.
The first thing I did was to detach the daytime nursing from her set routine: I would distract her with a cup of water or a snack when she woke up from a nap, delay her…eventually I nursed her, but over the course a couple days her routine was broken and she didn’t wake up needing to nurse like a smoker needs his nicotine fix.
After that it was easy to “forget” a feeding here and there, especially if she never caught me in The Chair (the computer chair, our traditional nursing station around here).
After a week or so, we were down to just two feedings: first thing in the morning, and last thing at night.
Again, detaching the feedings from the routine removed the trauma. Her bedtime feedings started coming earlier, in new places. Her sisters often put her to bed rather than I. We broke things up just enough to take emphasis off the details, but not enough to throw her little life out of whack.
Bedtime feedings were forgotten, and her sisters (who usually bring her to me when she wakes up in the morning) started taking her right to the kitchen to get her a drink and a cracker. She still likes to snuggle with me in the morning, but hasn’t nursed in 3 days and never cried once over weaning. She still gets very annoyed when she crawls into my lap in front of the computer and isn’t allowed to “assume the position,” but she generally settles for a snuggle and a belly button.
Oh yes – did I forget to mention the substitute? She has always played with her belly button while she sucks her thumb. Cute, right? Now, she comes to me several times/day, especially when she’s hurt or tired. She leans against my lap or sits on my lap, sucking her thumb and playing with my belly button.
Oh well. If she’s going to whine, grab, name, and try to uncover a part of my anatomy in church or Walmart, given the choices, I’m voting for the belly button.

Filed Under: parenting 3 Comments

Our Little Bedwetter

Current giveaway: Grandpa Jake's Campfire Cooker

November 29, 2005 By kimc

She’s old enough to care now, with no end in sight. Every now and then the nighttime wetting seems to wane, but just when we think it’s over, it becomes a regular occurance.
This is not a great concern to us. We are not really inclined to sink a lot of money and time into the high-tech systems we’ve heard about. Bedwetting runs in the family, so we rather expected it eventually, and Her Age is not a grand old age to be still experiencing this problem.
However, A Girl of Her Age is at a perfect time to learn to be self-sufficient in taking care of the problem. Our little wetter can strip her bed when she gets up, and start her sheet, blanket and clothes in the washer all by herself. This is a huge morale booster to a child who was becoming frustrated and embarrassed by the issue.
Another big help was when we finally settled on a sleeping “system.” Previously, she had been sharing a twin bed with 2 other small sisters. For obvious reasons, they were not entirely kind about waking up wet, and the mattress had to go. We had to figure out what to do about this before we replaced the mattress.
We tried pullups: too expensive as a long term solution.
I bought extra large washable training pants: very uncomfortable and they just didn’t do the job.
I bought an absorbant crib-size mattress pad to go under her while she slept: again, it just didn’t do the job.
We put trashbags under her: they were slippery and noisy and sticky and just wouldn’t stay in place.
She even slept on the floor: but carpet is just as hard to properly clean as a mattress.
Finally, we hit upon our solution. In the past, to help with space issues, we have often slid a twin-sized mattress under the ever-present bunkbeds as a makeshift “trundle bed.” Slide it out at night, put it away during the day.
This time, for several reasons, we went with a crib mattress.
If she wakes up wet, she can change her clothes, pull off the sheet, and grab a new blanket. In the morning, she takes care of her laundry, and nobody even really notices.
Some advantages of a crib mattress rather than twin size:

She can pull it out and push it in herself
Easier for a Girl of Her Age to strip the bed and make the bed alone
Less laundry (smaller sheets and blankets)
Most have a waterproof covering so they wipe clean
Cheaper
If it survives, it will take less storage space until the next bedwetter comes along…

Our daughter can’t wait until she will wake up dry every night – she hates that cold clammy feeling in the middle of the night. She’s delighted on those rare occasions that she wakes up to use the bathroom, and she eagerly takes daytime naps because she seems to sleep a little lighter at night when she’s well rested.

But in the meantime, she is so thankful to have a low-key way of dealing with her little problem. So am I.

Filed Under: parenting 10 Comments

Bible Time for little ones

Current giveaway: Grandpa Jake's Campfire Cooker

November 11, 2005 By kimc

I received the following question from a reader:

I just started “Bible time” with my oldest (she is a toddler), meaning that I ask her to quietly sit in a spot at home with her Bible storybook and have time with God. I know she cannot comprehend much, but she is learning Scripture as we teach, and she knows she can pray to God anytime. I’m so excited about teaching her this wonderful time of her day! I’m getting her a little “lap desk” of her own and hope to get a special chair just for this time….Do you have any suggestions to things I can gradually incorporate into this time for her (and my other kids in the future)? She is a bit too young to get into audio stories, but any audio suggestions?

We are very leary of children’s “Bibles” and Bible story books, as so many have uninspired details added. I think when we teach our children that the Bible is the Perfect, Infallible, Inspired Word of God, we need to avoid any confusion in their young minds by adding the uninspired words of men. This is why we love the Children’s Bible by Golden Press. The illustrations are beautiful and reverent, and it includes far more than the standard 50-odd stories; I believe it has nearly every narrative portion of the Bible. The language is very faithful to the text of the scriptures, only slightly simplified. I encourage our little ones to peruse the book, and let them choose selections for me (or an older child) to read to them.

If you’re looking specifically for audio, you might want to take a look at Thy Word Creations. This is a set of word-for-word scripture memory songs sung by children, accompanied by books that illustrate the passage page by page. Selections include Isaiah 53, I Corinthians 13, Psalm 23, Psalm 91, Psalm 139, The Lord’s Prayer, The Beatitudes, The Ten Commandments, and The Temptations of Jesus.

I would also encourage you to let your daughter see you having your time with God while she does so. It’s a wonderful habit to start your day with scripture, but if our children are still asleep then seeing us spend time with God doesn’t become a normal part of their day. I fall terribly short, but I want my children to SEE me read my Bible daily. They learn so much by our example!

I would love to see others’ answers to the question above – please jump in if you have suggestions to share!