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Potty training

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220446 1886309429809 1003597394 2178297 1490195 o 179x300 Potty trainingPotty training days are finally here, and I couldn’t be happier!

I usually dread this stage, but it’s going swimmingly with Bethany.  That’s good.  I often tell people that the reason I don’t try to rush it or push my kids to train early is because if you wait until they’re really and truly ready, it goes so much more quickly and easily.

Bethany will be 3 in June, making her one of our latest to train.  That means she should be the easiest, right?

Right.  One pee accident since training began. Read it and weep.  No, you can’t have her.  Anyway, we’re still working on #2.

She’s always been incredibly, hilariously precocious.  Even her accident demonstrated it: she caught herself just as she began and raced for the bathroom.  After finishing her business properly, she returned with a scrap of toilet paper to wipe the floor.  Of course I had already done it, but I appreciated the thought.  Some much older people in my house could take lessons from her.

But she’s not perfect.  Her manners could use some polishing.  I used the toilet while she was in the bathroom with me yesterday – I commonly do this with potty training toddlers to demonstrate the desired behavior – and her eyes widened with incredulity and admiration as I sat down.

“Mom, your butt is BIG!”

Yes, she said it in all caps and all honesty.  I’m pretty sure she wants her butt to be just as big as mine she grows up.  The sentiment was nice, but the manners need work.

 

Potty training the little man

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I have to start by saying that I am in awe of my little manchild.

I posted recently about some signs of readiness for potty training, but I am a firm believer in not pushing the issue until I’m reasonably sure the child is ready.  The whole training process seems so much smoother this way.  Smoother = less stress for the momma.  I like less stress.  Less stress is good.

And so on Saturday morning, when I casually suggested that he might sit on the potty and he peed in it I tried not to get too excited.  He’s done it a few times before.  Instead, I just praised him, gave him a couple of chocolate chips, and procrastinated about putting his diaper back on.

A few minutes later, I loudly announced that I had peed in the potty and was going to have 2 chocolate chips.  Then I invited the rest of the household to do the same.  Most of the girls were gone, but those who were present all took me up on the offer with an appropriate amount of fanfare.  After all, who’s going to turn down chocolate chips in my house?

Then I gave the boy a cup of chocolate milk and repeated the process.  He peed again.  In the potty. Now I was excited.

Over the course of the morning, he had as many misses as hits and we spent nearly 3 hours straight in the bathroom – but he was interested and was actually having some measure of success.  I kept filling him up with liquids, and setting a timer to remind him to go potty in 15 minutes 10 minutes 6 minutes.  I got plenty of exercise lifting him onto the potty and holding him steady since he was bit unsure about balancing above the bowl.  (Yes, he sits for now.  Don’t remind him about the alternative just yet, please.)

Then finally, something clicked.  He suddenly understood the control mechanism.  I think it was the chocolate chips that did the trick.  He figured out that he could…ahem…save some…

And so we spent the next 2 hours in the bathroom enjoying that little breakthrough:  6 drops, 2 chocolate chips.  Jump off the stepstool, jump back on.  6 drops, 2 chocolate chips.  Jump off, about face, jump on.  Repeat.  He finally was getting himself into position, and even better he was developing bladder control.  In fact, his control was staggering, and I knew this was good practice.  “It’s good practice, it’s good practice,” I muttered to myself the 9,000th time…

Finally, I decided HE HAD ENOUGH PRACTICE, and we left the bathroom.

And that was that.  For the rest of the day, he took himself potty.  He sometimes asked for potty candy, and sometimes forgot.  He ran around with a bare bottom and t-shirt (“Please don’t put your pen** on the table, honey”) and had no more accidents that day.  Bowel movements?  One of those morning accidents was a bowel movement and he was thoroughly disgusted.  He’s so careful now, he does all of his gas in the potty just to be safe.  I’m ok with that.  Are you kidding?  I love that.

This post is part of Help For Growing Families, in the hope that other moms will find useful tidbit of info.

He’s not a baby

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The boy was 2 at the end of June and has shown very little interest in potty training.  It will be nice to have just one in diapers someday soon.  In the meantime we buy them in two sizes: Big baby and little baby.  I’m ok with that, but am trying to exert just a bit of subtle pressure.  The terminology itself is deeply meaningful.

One example is a conversation we had this morning.  Actually, we have this conversation once or twice a day.

Boy: Mom, I pooped.  Where are my man diapers?

Me: Men don’t wear diapers.  Men poop in the potty.  You need a baby diaper.

Boy: I’m not a baby!  Bethany is a baby!

Me: Well, do you want to poop in the potty like a man or wear baby diapers like Bethany?

Boy: [sigh].  Where are my diapers?

Potty talk

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The general consensus, to my knowledge, seems to be that boys are usually potty trained later but often more easily than girls.  Yes?  No?

Six of our seven girls have displayed a bit of interest around their second birthday and they have begun training 3 or 4 months later.  Six of the seven girls were out of diapers by 2 1/2 with occasional accidents.  Six out of seven were dry at night around 3yo.  This was not planned or scheduled; it just happened that way.

The Boy is 19 months now, and this morning he did something unprecedented.  He announced that he was going potty and trotted into the bathroom.  Amused, I told Kaitlyn to “help” him.  And he pooped in the potty.

Don’t misunderstand; I don’t expect it to happen again soon.  I’m simply astounded that it happened at all.  This boy stuff is not at all what I expected.

Potty training tip: not for the faint of stomach

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Read at your own risk, and don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Still with me? OK.
Rachael is still having intermittant diarrhea, bad news for a newly potty trained toddler. I’ve resisted the urge to toss her underpants every time she has an accident, so we have been rinsing them in the toilet when it happens.
The oldest 2 girls sometimes do the duty for me, and they hate it. I tell them not to be so squeamish; just roll up your sleeves, grit your teeth and do it. This is training for motherhood, and as a mother you will spend plenty of time with poop on your hands. Just remember to wash your hands.
I had to laugh and poke fun when I saw the 13yo using a toilet brush to swirl the soiled underpants. The bristles firmly gripped the cloth when she flushed and refilled. As if she were using a spoon to wring out her teabag, she used the brush to wring the offending garment against the bowl of the toilet, then deftly lifted it out, having touched nothing more defiling than the handle of the toilet brush.
I laughed, but I didn’t forget.
Today, Rachael is having accidents. After cleaning her up I furtively glanced around, and closed the bathroom door. I grabbed the toilet brush and finished the job. And it worked for me.
I wonder if Shannon would want to know?
Did you want to know? Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Potty training: duh moment

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Rachael was leaving a wet circle in the front of her dress every time she grabbed herself and ran for the bathroom.
After 2 weeks of whining at her about it gently correcting her and wondering how long this would go on, I accidentally changed my wording a little.
What I was saying: Oh no! You got pee on your dress! Don’t do that!
What I said Tuesday morning: Don’t put your dress on your ___ when you need to go potty. That gets pee on it!
She looked at me, pulled her dress out away from her body and said, “Do this, Mommy? OK.”
There hasn’t been a wet circle on her dress since then. It was that easy.
Isn’t it funny how we sometimes underestimate our children?

Potty training: 2 weeks and counting

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Little Red is doing great, but definitely still in training. She has a puddle-at-her-feet incident less than once/day. She has only had one tiny bit of a bowel accident (besides this, for which we in no way hold her responsible). She has been dry through every single night and nap without exception.
It is November now, and a time to shout out our thankfullness, so I’ll tell you that I am unspeakably thankful for all of these things. Of course, every month is a time to give thanks, and I would be thankful for such easy toilet training any month of the year.
Now, with all those qualifying statements, I’ll just add that she is still going through 5 pairs of undies/day and spends half the day with none at all. Nearly every time she needs to go, she notices just a little too late. She starts, grabs herself, and sounds the potty alarm. By that time, there is invariably a small wet circle in the front of her dress.
Did I mention invariably?
I suppose I’m thankful that, at her tender age, she already has the control to stop mid-stream. One puddle/day reminds me to be thankful that there aren’t far more.

Our new Potty Girl aced 3 tests!

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She’s had a very good record so far, so I decided to put her to the test:

  1. Nap time in panties on Mom & Dad’s bed: A+
  2. Going potty when surrounded by company, including several other toddlers and babies: A+
  3. Nightime in panties on a real bed: A+

This girl is on a roll!

There are 2 tests left: Potty On The Go, which will take place Sunday when we go to church; and Potty During Videos, which will likely happen sometime today.

BTW, for those who sympathized with me over this, I have something to be thankful for in November: it was a one-time occurrence. Praise God!

Lest you doubt me…

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Lest you think this whole potty training thing sounds too good to be true, let me just casually mention that potty training is a very bad time for diarrhea.
That’s all I’m saying on the matter. Let your imagine run with that.

More potty notes

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Hip, hip hooray! She did it again: Little Red has woken up dry 3 mornings in a row!
Just for the record, this is unprecedented in our house. Most of the girls were potty trained at precisely this age through no planning of our own, but most took another 6-12 months to be dry at night. One or two were still wetting the bed at 4-6 years old, so I’ve done my time when it comes to nighttime training.
But I did have high hopes for this girl. Over the past year she has frequently woken up in a dry diaper, only to soak it within 20 minutes. I had a feeling this would be helpful when the time to potty train came, and hoo boy! was it!
She spent all morning playing Musical Panties, switching between her 10 new pairs just for fun (none of which bear the face of Pooh, curse thee o WalMart!). I figured she could use the practice in getting them on and off so I didn’t object. I also figured they would all need washing by the end of the day anyway. Somehow, wearing undies seems to make them feel a little more secure, a little more complacent. There’s nothing to make you run for the bathroom like the feeling of pee trickling down your leg. Undies dampen that sensation. Yes, bad pun.
When she finally settled on pink flowers on a white background, she did indeed become complacent. Small accident, shocked eyes, and a run for the bathroom.
Blue and purple ladybugs: small accident, shocked eyes, run for the bathroom.
Solid pink, with a large ladybug in the front: small accident, shocked eyes, run for the bathroom.
You get the idea. We started the day with 10 new pairs, and finished the day with 2. Still, there were no puddles on the floor and no undies needed swishing in the toilet, if you know what I mean. Day 3 was a good day, just like Day 1 and Day 2.
She even took it upon herself once or twice to go alone. Due to hygiene concerns I don’t encourage this right now, but I did take it as a good sign.
Potty training is work, but it’s fun work when we all stay on the same side: us, united, against The Evil Poop and Pee. Put them in their place, keep them where they belong.

WFMW: potty update

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Just a brief update on the potty training, and a little tidbit that took me 7 children to learn:
Rachael did great yesterday! She left one puddle en route to the bathroom (it actually landed inside the bathroom door; she gets points for that, right?) and started to wet several times during the day then caught herself with a suprised look. In each of these cases she only got her t-shirt damp- it was never enough to reach the floor.
She’s already reaching the point of casualness at which they all seem to become just a little reluctant to head for the bathroom. The novelty is beginning to wear off, and potty is not nearly so exciting. We’re also reaching the point of casualness at which I fail to inquire faithfully as to the state of her bladder every 15 minutes.
Here’s where my WFMW tip comes in:
The novelty of using the potty may wear off, but candy never loses its charm. Not the promise of candy, but the candy itself.
The potty candy stays in the bathroom, in clear view.
She is free to go admire the candy anytime she wants. It’s up high where she can’t get to it, but it whispers to her all day long.
I’m also thinking maybe I should switch her over to dark chocolate chips so I’ll be more motivated to remind her to go potty. Then we can both share in the rewards. Hey, potty candy can work for moms, too.

Oh happy day! (potty training)

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PA090405 Oh happy day! (potty training)
Our Little Red is eating lots of potty candy these days.
She has been using the potty on occasion for the last few weeks. Mostly she uses it for gas. Yes, that gets candy too, since she is recognizing some sort of imminent bodily function. I want to teach her to play it safe on this stuff.
Yesterday I encouraged her to use it when she woke up. She actually peed (hurrah!) and was cheered and received her candy.
I went out on a limb and casually left her diaper off, and she told us when she needed to go again. This was unprecedented for her! Hurrah and candy!
She peed just once on the floor and had absolutely no more accidents all day. I put her in a diaper for nap, but she woke up dry 2 hours later and went right to the bathroom.
Hurrah and candy!
Her “potty candy” is white chocolate chips. We happen to have an abundance of these right now, so it works. After peeing in the potty all day and receiving her white potty candy, she spotted me eating some of my secret stash: Hershey’s Special Dark Chocolate Chips.
“Is that your potty candy, Mommy? Did you poop in the potty?”
We’re not going to analyze that statement too much, OK? I have to mention, though, that she specifically requested some of my potty candy after her first bowel movement of the day.

Now – don’t hate me for this – she slept in a diaper and woke up dry, asking to go potty.
No, you can’t have her. She’s mine. And today, she’s getting her very own brand new package of Winnie the Pooh panties.

Potty training Q & A

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Jennifer’s Q:

Kim, Can you help me? I mother of 7 must know a bit about potty training. I have my first DD who is almost 3 (in about 5 weeks). She knows how to use the potty, wipe, flush and clean up after herself. However, no incentive will get her to go on her own. She doesnt even mind sitting in poop. Which is odd because I have always been quick to change her. I have tried chocolate, using a doll that wets, a wrapped present as an incentive to stay dry and on and on. My mother says that she just doesnt seem to care, she can do it, but feels no reason to. I am at my whits end with training right now. I have also tried taking away a priviledge or two, but that hasnt worked either. Do you have any ideas? Jennifer

My A:
Nearly 3yo is a little late, but not too unusual. Your daughter just may not have the maturity for potty training yet. We did have 1 child who didn’t see the need for toilets until long after she understood the use for toilets. Like your daughter, ours was content to run around in soiled pants until somebody else noticed.
When we were sure that she understood the requirements, we made it a discipline issue for her. Accidents were acceptable but had to be reported and cleaned up immediately – if not, she got swatted. Firmly.
Once she realized that her play time came to an abrupt break whether or not she actually used the toilet for her business, our daughter was much more motivated to use the toilet. She found that using the toilet was faster than using her pants, finding Mom to file an accident report, and cleaning up the aftermath to the best of her 3.5yo abilities.
When one of my younger siblings wasn’t reliably toilet trained at a reasonable age, he found that he missed out on some fun outings. Not as punishment, mind you. Simple, natural consequences. If you can’t be counted upon to use the bathroom, how can you go with your other sisters and brothers on a weekend camping trip, or to Bigname Theme Park? He missed one really exciting outing, and suddenly became more motivated to use the toilet.

That’s my answer. What’s yours?

She did it!

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P7160036 She did it!
The cute little redheaded girl (remember Charlie Brown’s perennial crush?) went to the potty last night and again today!
So begins the saga of potty training, for the 7th time.

From the mailbag: potty training

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From Debby:

Does anyone have any good tips on bedwetting? My 6 year old just started doing
it after being dry all summer. My 8 year old never wet so I’m at a loss for what
to do.

And from Anonymous:

I am potty training my 4 year old and 2 year old sons right now, and have been in this process for 1 1/2 years. We tried the slow and go approach, where if the child wasn’t responding we would wait a month or two and try again. Did that for about a year, which got the 2 year old starting to potty. The 4 year old son is adamantly against pottying. And I am sure that if we left him to his own ideas, he would be the very first kid to enter kindergarten not potty trained…

I posted a bit about our own bedwetter. She was also very late in daytime potty training. In a nutshell, here’s our approach to wetting:

  1. Rule out physical causes. Allergies and bladder infections can make a child prone to wetting. Some children just don’t seem to have the bladder capacity or control one would expect at a given age. They do mature at different rates.
  2. If you are convinced that the child has enough control and maturity and is wetting on purpose, you may need to make it an obedience issue. We did this with a daughter who was content to run around wet. Accidents were acceptable if they were reported and dealt with immediately; running around in peed pants brought disciplinary action.
  3. For nighttime wetting, limit but don’t eliminate liquids after dinner.
  4. Make sure the child is getting plenty of sleep. I found that ours was more likely to wet (day or night) when we skipped our regular afternoon quiet time or rose very early that morning. I think she sleeps more heavily when she’s overly tired at night. Staying up too late makes her more likely to wet. She recognizes this and often puts herself to bed.
  5. Enlist the child – our daughter took great joy in marking every day of the calendar that she stayed dry. It helped her to keep the goal in the front of her mind and improved her stats significantly.
  6. If you are not convinced that the wetting is happening on purpose (i.e. child just doesn’t want to get up to use the bathroom), then be patient and understanding. Keep in mind, this problem is already unpleasant for the child.
  7. Teach the child to take care of cleanup. This was instrumental in helping me maintain a patient attitude, and also teaches the child to take responsibility.

Would anyone like to add to this?

Potty training

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I’ve had a few inquiries on this topic, and my 2yo will be ready soon. I’m no fountain of wisdom here, but I have managed to potty train 6 daughters so far. We’re not “method people,” but we have gleaned from others’ methods and figured out a few things along the way.
I’ll share what I’ve learned so far and hope everyone will chime in with their own tips.
First, let me tell you I was very nervous about potty training. This was something I never really participated in with my younger sibs – somehow it just always happened.
My experiences with dogs didn’t help:
Before hubby and I had our first daughter, we had our first dog. She was a beautiful little black lab pup. We couldn’t fully housebreak her. Eventually she was dognapped.
Then we had our second dog. We couldn’t housebreak her, and a neighbor who wanted an outdoor dog just exactly like ours adopted her.
Then we had our third dog. We almost managed to housebreak him before he suddenly got sick and died.
Can you see why I was worried? What if my kid still piddled on the floor when she was 15?
But it really does just happen. Believe it or not, we are 6 for 6 with our children. That’s much better than our dog stats.
First we watch for signs of readiness. In our house, these signs show up around the 2nd birthday. In our house, these signs all have feminine pronouns. That should change in about 2 years, but for now just bear with me.

SIGNS:

  • asking to be changed immediately when her diaper is dirty
  • wanting to help with the changing. Our 2yo wants to hold her own feet in the air for me (“I do it, Mommy?”)
  • trying to change herself. After she has pooped. Not good, and not tolerated, but it’s normal to try.
  • showing true, heartfelt disgust at her own poop
  • wanting to sit on the potty

These are all signs that she will be ready soon. I take the toddler in the bathroom when I go so she can see what the toilet is for. I explain what we’re doing, step by step. I let her look in the potty when I’m done, and let her flush.

I ask her regularly if she wants to go potty. I don’t expect her to really go while she’s up there; we’re just practicing. If she’s interested, I set her up there and stall. We talk girl-talk, chat about potty topics, read a magazine, etc. After a few minutes, she’s ready to get down and I put her diaper back on.

Eventually – oh, happy day! – she will tinkle while she’s on the potty. She will get candy and praise and applause and a parade in her honor. Or whatever we have on hand: chocolate chips sometimes become known as “potty candy.” It will be made crystal clear to her that her life will be beautiful and joyful and full of sweet things if she can do that again.

She probably won’t do it again right away, but it will happen soon. Once she “gets it,” it comes quickly. We don’t push to start early for a reason: if the child is really and truly ready, potty training comes easily with few accidents. We find that training takes just a day or two, with an occasional accident for the first couple of weeks.

Once she understands the goal and recognizes the urge to go, we’re within sight of the finish line. We settle down to the training process, which varies a little with each child.

PROCESS:

  • We like to use the heavy cloth training pants. They catch more than panties, but still let the child feel wetness if she has an accident.
  • I spend a day or two pouring liquids into her so we’ll have plenty of opportunity to practice and reward.
  • I keep her near me.
  • I enlist the help of her sisters, and Daddy when he is home.
  • We stay near the potty, and encourage her to try very frequently.
  • We praise her for sitting on the potty even if she doesn’t do anything.
  • We reward lavishly, with fanfare and treats. We gather round the potty to ooh and ahhh at what she has done. Sometimes we all eat potty candy to celebrate success.
  • Depending on the child and the season, we sometimes put her in a long t-shirt and let her go bottomless for a few days.

MORE TIPS:

  • When you are toilet training a toddler, don’t get worked up over accidents. Think like a doctor: urine is sterile, and if she’s drinking plenty it probably doesn’t even have an odor. Just let her help clean it up and move on.
  • Be especially careful of TV – it’s engrossing, and she will forget to go potty.
  • Don’t let her wear anything that keeps her feeling dry. She needs to feel wet if she has an accident.
  • If she has too many accidents, reconsider the timing. Maybe she’s not ready. Maybe you are too busy this week. Maybe somebody is too tired or stressed.
  • Don’t push and turn it into a battle of wills; parents must win battles of will, and this is a hard one to win. Stay on the same side as your child.

Now it’s your turn – what did I miss? What works for you? I know the Headmistress had a post on this topic, but I couldn’t find it. Perhaps she would grace us with a link?

I read a very recent post on this topic which recommended a New Toothbrush as a necessary accessory. I thought it was by Mary, but couldn’t find it.

If you have posted on the subject, please leave a link in the comments – I would love to hear how others have done it, as every child is different.

Potty training wisdom

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I lifted this priceless quote from the Dear Headmistress over at the Common Room. She does not claim the statement as her own, but she has carried it about in her head and pulled out to share with us, so I do consider it to belong to her. Please do her the favor of a visit, and read her article on teaching the mechanics of punctuation.

It’s like potty training- you can work really hard at it, spend much time,
attention and training on a daily basis, and your child will be toilet trained
at 24 months. Or you can let nature take its course, wait until the child is
ready to proceed at his own speed and he’ll be potty trained at two years.

I feel exactly this way about both potty training and reading. I’m so glad to know I’m not the only one.