In view of some of the comments generated by my quote on public schools, my husband and I have discussed socialization of children and want to open a discussion on the topic.

Let me introduce this topic by saying that there are many very different reasons for homeschooling. In this post, I am referring to those of us who, as Christians, cannot in good conscience send our children into public education.
We do not homeschool primarily for academic excellence, or for safety, or because we just really like our children and want to spend more time with them – though all of these are worthy motives.
Our prime motivation is to honor God and train our children – His children - in accordance with His Word, and this is what we believe Deuteronomy 6:6-7 requires of us.
You may disagree heartily; that is a discussion for another day. Please, if you must disagree, keep it civil and on-topic.

The topic at hand:

What is socialization, and why do people seem to assume that it’s something homeschooled children don’t get?

so?cial?i?za?tion n.
1: the action of establishing on a socialist basis; “the socialization of
medical services” [syn: socialisation]
2: the act of meeting for social purposes; “there was too much
socialization with the enlisted men” [syn: socialisation, socializing, socialising]
3: the adoption of the behavior patterns of the surrounding culture; “the
socialization of children to the norms of their culture” [syn: socialisation, acculturation, enculturation]

When I hear the ever-popular question, “But what about socialization?” I assume the inquirer is talking about definition 3 above, wherein children…er…learn to act like other children.

But most people are appalled at the way children behave today, and anyway we are not raising them to be children. The goal is for them to grow up. We are raising them to become adults (I Corinthians 13:11).

How will that goal be better achieved: by immersing them with other children in the classroom (where, incidentally, they are not supposed to talk or play for a large part of the day), or putting them in real, everyday life with regular full contact with adults and children of various ages in various real-life settings?

Guilt-Free Homeschooling: The Socialization Myth, Part 2
…Scene 1:
Thirty children all approximately the same age, herded together
in a crowded room, all doing exactly the same assignment at exactly the same time to exactly the same instructions, day after day, year after year.
Scene 2:
A handful of children of assorted ages, spread out all over the house and yard, doing independent assignments as they are capable, each lesson tailored to each student’s interests and abilities, with the routine broken frequently for running errands with Mom or attending to family celebrations and/or emergencies.
If Scene 1 appears to you to be more of a sterile “bubble” environment and Scene 2 appears to be different every day, every month, every year, then we agree. Homeschooled kids are the ones who truly live in the real world; public schoolers hear about the real world, but do not really experience it until they leave the institution…

Honestly, I wonder how many people who ask this question have ever met and interacted with an adult (or even a teen or child) who was homeschooled. They are rarely accused of being backward or socially dysfunctional. In fact, they generally interact well with a much wider variety of people than those who went to an age-segregated school.

The argument could be made that homeschooled adults don’t typically share the cultural values of this society. True! We are striving to avoid that very sort of socialization.

Chrisitians are called to look different, act different, be different. We are called to be a light to the world around us. We should not blend into the rest of the world, assimilating the values of society around us. When that happens, Christ says, we are like salt that has lost its savor. We have become useless as Christians.

This is where our worldview affects how we live and how we raise our children, and perhaps this is where we will find no common ground with those who think that public schools are an acceptable and God-honoring way to educate a Christian child.

Back to the well-meaning questioners: Some inquirers are really asking about the 2nd definition of socialization: the act of meeting for social purposes. How often do our children do that? How often should they do that?

Guilt-Free Homeschooling: Socialization and Why You Don’t Need It:

…Once, when asked, “What do you do about socialization?” [my husband] began by simply asking the person if they were referring to “good” socialization or “bad” socialization. That was all he needed to say. The co-worker took that ball and ran with it, saying, “Oh, I know what you mean! My own kid came home the other day, and he told me about what was going on at his school…” The question had been answered, and the distinction had been clearly made in his own mind: there are two types of socialization, and we have control over which type we subject ourselves to.

Once again, I don’t believe that children in public schools have an advantage here. Their interactions with other children are very limited. For most of the day, they sit at a desk and are not allowed to converse or interact with other children. When they do interact, it is almost exclusively with children of their very age – no variety! How does this prepare them for The Real World?

Furthermore, most of their interactions with other children come in situations with very little supervision: recess, restrooms, before school, after school. The Bible tells us that foolishness is wrapped up in the heart of a child (Prov. 22:15) – we don’t necessarily want them leading each other. Remember what happens when the blind lead the blind?

Proverbs speaks often on the subject of companions, how much influence they have upon us, and how carefully they ought to be chosen (try Prov. 13:20, 18:24, and 28:7 for starters) . We need to help our children choose suitable companions and protect them from the foolish ones, until they are old enough and mature enough to recognize and avoid them on their own.

We do not need to send our young and impressionable children out as missionaries: we, the parents, need to be evangelizing other parents. I suspect somebody will want to suggest that we are shortchanging the rest of the children by keeping our Christian children out of the schools. That, too, may be a subject for another day, but suffice it to say our duty is toward our own children. God has charged us to raise them in the nurture and admonition of the Lord, and we feel this is best accomplished by keeping them out of the public schools.

Our children meet often with other people – usually in a family setting. Our homeschooling friends come over to visit. We go visit them. We visit our large extended family. Our church has frequent fellowships, where children and adults of all ages interact freely.

Our children also have frequent interactions with society at large. They go everywhere with me: grocery shopping, where they chat with the clerk or the lady in the canned goods aisle. They also learn some valuable Real Life skills as they help me shop.

They go to the bank; the License Bureau; to work with Dad; to the zoo; to baby showers and birthday parties; to the post office; to the library; to homeschool group meetings; to Home Depot to help select paint – which they then help apply to our home. As they grow in maturity and social skills, they are able and expected to function more and more like adults in such settings.

In each situation, they are interacting with new people in new situations. They are learning about society and culture and appropriate behavior. They are not necessarily learning to conform – that is not necessarily our goal. But they are being socialized – in a good way. During these early, impressionable years, they are being socialized on our terms, to produce the sort of adults that we feel God wants them (and us) to be.