Perry begged to have Calvin sit with him during his reading lesson today, and Calvin was happy to comply.
Snapshot: reading lesson
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February 25, 2013 by 2 Comments
Free baby stuff – just pay shipping
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February 21, 2013 by 7 Comments
Edited to add nursing cover from Uddercovers, below.
I shared these links on Facebook, but I heard a crazy rumor that some people don’t have facebook accounts. That sounds almost as weird as not having a birth certificate or a social security number, but my kids didn’t have those until 2001, so I guess it’s possible.
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Nursing pillow: Free with code ENBABY ($12.95 shipping). I’ve never had one, but always thought they looked handy. What do you think? They look like they would also be good to help a baby who is just learning to sit up. I’m really tempted by this one!
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4 Moms Q&A: bedrooms and bedtime
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February 21, 2013 by 16 Comments
Welcome friends. This week’s 4 Moms post is a Q&A about bedtimes and bedrooms. On your mark…get set…GO!
1. So here’s my question for all of you… How do you handle bedtime with 4 under 4? My youngest two are 1 1/2 and 3 months, and bedtime when my husband is not home is awful (he doesn’t get home till sometime between 8 and 10pm).
Oh. my. goodness.
I have no advice.
Well, just this: I would keep the bedtime routine super simple and short. Baths can happen at other times of the day. Teeth can be brushed right after dinner. Bedtime stories are good if they help settle the kids, but totally optional. A quick prayer and a kiss is all it takes to be a good parent, and I’ll confess that we have never done bedtime prayers with any regularity. Even pajamas can be optional if you and your kids are OK with it. With 4 little ones and no help at bedtime, no one in their right mind will blame you for questioning habits and traditions, and stripping the routine down to the bare necessities.
2. I have 3 boys in 1 room ages 3, 7 and 9. Any suggestions on bedtime?
We have found that bedtimes don’t really need to coincide just because kids are sharing a room. Staggered bedtimes can sometimes make it easier for kids to wind down, since they are not there to play with each other. On the other hand, it might be easier to get it all over with at once. I put our boys to bed at the same time and often sit quietly in the doorway after the lights are out, correcting them if they try to play.
If you feel the younger ones need to be in bed earlier, they can learn to sleep through late arrivals – or just go back to sleep without drama if they are awakened. Of course latecomers should do their best to be quiet.
The point here is that there are no set rules; much depends on your children’s habits and temperaments, how they interact with each other, and how you want bedtime to work.
3. How does the division of rooms work in your new house? Are the bedrooms the same size? Same amount of rooms? Are you still using the shelf beds?
Most of the bedrooms are a little bigger than the old house, and we now have 4 instead of 3. We also have far more closet space! Here’s the breakdown:
The boys have the smallest room. Calvin sleeps in our room, so for now it’s just 6yo Perry and 2yo Parker. I keep all of their clothes in their walk-in closet and most of the toys are in the sunroom, so their room really only has beds. We found a great deal on craigslist for matching car beds, one twin and one toddler size!
The 3 oldest girls (17yo, 16yo, and 14yo) share the middle-sized room. It’s about the size of the bedrooms in the old house, but there’s a small bonus: a second-story deck. I’m a little jealous of the view. We offered to buy them beds, but they were adamantly against such a waste of space. Instead, they used their “bed allowance” to buy chalkboard paint and a bright red sleeper sofa – another craigslist deal – so that they could decorate their bedroom as a sitting room. They use the mattresses from the old shelf beds, just laying them out on the floor at night and rolling them up in the corner of the room during the day. They think their bedrolls are much more comfy than regular mattresses, but are thinking of trying thinner Japanese style mats to save even more space.
They have their personal collections of books and pets displayed on shelves mounted high on the wall to preserve the limited floor space. They hope to add a drop-down style table soon to hold Kaitlyn’s old-fashioned record player and provide a surface for laptops, etc.
Instead of a walk-in closet, they have two double-door closets covering one wall. The inside is immaculately organized with shelves, cubbies and hanging rods to make use of every square foot for their myriad shoes and extensive wardrobes. It’s a wonder to behold, but I don’t know if they want the world to behold it so I didn’t take a photo of the inside.
The biggest kid bedroom belongs to the 4 younger girls: 13yo Natalie, 11yo Becca, 8yo Rachael, and 4yo Bethany. They have 2 walk-in closets. Each of the older girls is paired up with a younger one to keep their closet in order, and each has one entire side to herself.
They have bunk beds with a full size bed on top and a [full size] futon on the bottom. Rachael usually sleeps on the bottom with Becca, and Natalie is all alone on the top, waiting for Bethany’s bladder to grow. Right now Bethany has her own toddler bed, because…um…we don’t want to change full size bedding every morning, if you know what I mean.
Perry and I share the master bedroom with baby Calvin. We have a walk-in closet like the kids, and I have to say it feels luxurious to have one entire side of the closet all to myself! And we have our own bathroom. It’s glorious, I tell you. I love this house.
4. Instead of bedtime, how about waking up?? they all share a room great EXCEPT for the waking each other up in the morning, for some too early, because the rule right now is that they can’t come out till 7. But when we tell them they can just come out when they wake up, they choose incredibly early times… the excitement of being up with mom and dad must be off the charts for our children even when this mom and dad are practically comatose
If your children are old enough to trust for a little while in the morning, I would instruct them to start their day as soon as they get up. This alone might motivate them to hang out in bed a little longer. ;)
If they are too young to be unattended, then you might want to manage their sleep a little differently. I know this isn’t always the case, but if a child is consistently waking up too early, my first answer would be to see that they might not need so much sleep – either move bedtime to a little later, or skip naps. This would definitely be my first move with children too young to trust alone, who are waking up before I do. Ideally, they should sleep until they’re not sleepy anymore, and then wake up – with wake up time landing right where I want it to. Of course that’s easier said than done, and it takes a little trial and error to figure out how much sleep a particular child needs.
If that doesn’t solve the problem, I still wouldn’t want to discourage an early riser, but I certainly understand the inconvenience. Rather than discouraging a good habit, I would look for ways to work with it. Maybe you can change the rule a little? If early morning is your quiet time, then anyone who wants to rise early with you must be quiet too. If it’s Bible time, you could require them to read as well – even if this means a pre-reader sitting quietly and looking at the illustrations in a children’s Bible. If it’s your coffee time with hubby, then other early risers could be restricted to the living room sofa with a book.
5. We just moved our toddler out of the crib and our 8-month old sleeps with my husband and I. We are trying to get some form of routine – keeping toddler in bed and get baby used to the crib. Any sleep suggestions? How does a tired momma get sleep at night??
Are they both in your room? Wherever they are, I would focus on diligently putting them back in their beds when they wake up. It might seem easier to bring them to your bed because then you can sleep too, but in the long run it just prolongs the situation and you get less sleep. Guess how I know? I still sigh every time Perry reminds me of this, because all I want to do is get a full night’s sleep, but I know he is right!
Also, you might want to wait until the toddler has adjusted to his bed and is sleeping well before you try to transition the baby out of your bed and into the crib. Two changes at once sounds like more than I would want to tackle, and you may be provoking an additional problem if the toddler resents the baby moving into his bed. I find it easier to stagger changes whenever possible so that I’m only dealing with one major issue at a time.
Oh, and when you learn the secret to getting enough sleep at night, let me know. :)
6. We have three girls 14, 12, & 10…and two boys 7 & 1. We have 3 bedrooms for them. Oldest has own room, middle girls share, 7yo old hates to sleep alone, but we cannot get 1yo to be on same sleep schedule as big brother. So for now 7yo is w/oldest sister & 1yo is in our closet… What do we do???
I’m not quite sure I understand; is the boys’ bedroom empty now? At any rate, it sounds like the kids have found a temporary solution until your boys are sleeping better, if the 14yo doesn’t mind terribly. If it were us – and we have a very similar situation going on – I would make sure the 7yo knows that he belongs in his room, even if he wakes up with his sister most mornings. I might also keep the little guy in the boys’ if he’s sleeping through the night, and let them adjust to each other’s schedules.
We just started having this problem since we moved to a new house, and I’m finding that a little reward in the morning goes a long way toward motivating a boy to stay in his own bed. I have a treat jar with small individually wrapped candies and some quarters, and every night that 6yo Perry or 2yo Parker stays in his bed, he gets to choose a treat. If one or both of them wake during the night and try to join their big sisters, they gently remind him that his treat is in jeopardy, and he usually decides to go back to his own bed. On the rare mornings that he insists on staying with a sister, Perry wakes up annoyed that they didn’t send him back to his own bed. Parker just shrugs it off and decides to try again tomorrow. :)
7. Do your kids ever share beds, either because they want to or because that is their set up?
They often share beds for one or both reasons. Right now, 8yo Rachael sleeps with either 13yo Natalie or 11yo or Becca, who have full size bunk beds. 2yo Parker usually starts out in Perry’s bed instead of his own. Regardless of where he starts out, he often wakes during the night and climbs into Becca’s bed – maybe because she is such a light sleeper that she was always first to go to him if he woke during the night.
8. I have a really hard question for you: How is your last name pronounced?? It’s been bugging me for months!
Our last name is spelled Coghlan. There’s no U or I in it, even though family and friends who have known us for most of our lives still spell it that way. It’s pronounced koff-lan. I know, it doesn’t look like it sounds. When someone needs to spell my name and I don’t expect to meet them again, I pronounce it kog-lan, because even though I spell it out slowly and distinctly, they ALWAYS put a U in it, and an I for good measure: Coughlin. They still do it even when I try to make it sound like it looks, but at least I can console myself with the knowledge that I did everything I could to avert the mistake. Their misspellings be upon their own heads.
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- February 14 - 4 Moms: Valentine’s Day recipes and a story {linky}
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- January 24 - Q&A with the 4 Moms: lies, jealous toddlers, and why doesn’t anyone invite you to dinner?
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- January 10 - I have neglected to post on Thursdays for so long that I entirely forget to feel guilty
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- December 27 - I continue to be a slacker
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- December 13 - 4 Moms share Quick and Easy Holiday Recipes {linky}
4 Moms: How to get kids to work hard with a good attitude
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February 14, 2013 by 2 Comments
As I sat down to write this post, I called over my shoulder at the girls who were finishing up the dinner dishes. ”Hey, how do I get kids to work hard with a good attitude?” I was half joking, half serious. They often have some good insights into parenting topics. Sometimes they remind me about methods and techniques that have become so routine over the years that I am blind to what I do and how I do it.
Laughter burst out from the other room. ”Mom, did you hear what I said right before you asked that question? ’I hate work, and I’m never going to be done!’” We all had a good laugh over the irony, but it made me think.
In spite of their words, they do work hard with good attitudes most of the time, and I would say they are doing it right now. They laugh and chat as they work, and the kitchen will shine when they are done. I don’t view comments like these as a complaining or grumbling spirit; this was a statement that hard work is part of the curse, and we had better get used to it while we wear this mortal veil.
It is important to help our children keep the goal in sight: glorifying God. When I see attitudes suffer, I remind them that I Corinthians 10:31 tells us to do all to the glory of God. When we work poorly, slowly, or with a bad attitude, are we doing our best to bring glory to God? Nope.
But it is easy to slip into a bad attitude, grumbling and complaining at the work before us. Kids are not the only ones, and role models play a huge part here. If I do my work cheerfully with the goal of pleasing God, it will be much easier to train my children to do so.
I try to deal with a bad attitude and slow, slovenly work just as I would with other disobedience, because grumbling while doing a poor job is NOT obedience. The more consistently I address the problem, the less it rears its ugly head.
We can also help them develop a good attitude about work early on. Little ones seem to love work; it is not until we get older that we decide we have better things to do. The more we work (cheerfully) alongside our little ones, the more they learn to enjoy work. Enjoying work while they are little does not guarantee that they will always have a good work ethic, but those early habits will make it easier for them to work hard as they grow.
How about you? How do you help your children learn this important lesson?
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Recent topics:
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- February 7 - 4 Moms: the daily schedule
- January 24 - Q&A with the 4 Moms: lies, jealous toddlers, and why doesn’t anyone invite you to dinner?
- January 17 - 4 Moms: What do you do for your children, and what do they do for themselves?
- January 10 - I have neglected to post on Thursdays for so long that I entirely forget to feel guilty
- January 3 - Still slacking, but beginning to feel a little guilty
- December 27 - I continue to be a slacker
- December 20 - I become a slacker and whine my way out of posting
- December 13 - 4 Moms share Quick and Easy Holiday Recipes {linky}
From the mailbag: Church with 5 little ones
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February 13, 2013 by 26 Comments
My recent Q&A post included the topic of keeping children quiet in church, and elicited the following comment from a reader. Maybe you understand how she feels.
Oh, Kim! I am feeling so defeated about having our littles in church! We have worked so hard with our 4-year-old and our 2-year-old and they do pretty well. We have great conversations (esp with the 4-year-old) about the things we learn in church. We have a 12-month-old foster-adopt son who is getting to a challenging stage (vocally and “sitting still”-wise), and because we cannot use Biblical, physical forms of discipline with him, we are struggling with how to train him.
Add to that: our lives have just been turned upside down–we found out we will have his newborn sister placed with us (surprise!), and I am 4 days postpartum with our third bio-baby. We will have five kids, and the oldest is 4!
Even if my husband is always with us in the pew, we don’t have enough arms between us to hold all the babies, let alone train them! I am especially discouraged because in a few weeks, once the youngest can be out in public, we have to begin the church-hunting process in this not-child-friendly city. What will people think when we walk through a church’s front door and cause chaos in the sanctuary? Back when we only had the older two, we once visited a church that asked us to sit in the foyer seating area because children were not allowed in the sanctuary for “videotaping” purposes.
I guess I realize I am overwhelmed with lots of things, and worried about being rejected by believers when we most need the support of a good church.
Karen,
I hardly know where to start. I want to offer a dozen pieces of advice and encouragement all at once, along with a shoulder to cry on. I’m just beginning to come out of the post-partum fog, so let me remind you of one huge thing: Even though your concerns and challenges are very real, everything looks and feels even worse now while you are riding that rollercoaster of hormones and sleep deprivation. If you can just take the next few months one day at a time, you’ll be able to look back and breathe a sigh of relief, realizing that it wasn’t quite as bad as you thought it would be. I know this because I was a basket-case when we had a wedding, a move, and a baby all in short order, closely followed by Thanksgiving, Christmas, and hordes of happy houseguests. It was overwhelming to me at the time, but looking back I can only blame hormone-induced stress. It was a loud and busy time, and everyone but me was having fun.
But you do have your hands full, and they’re getting fuller. You are overflowing with blessings, and overflowing is stressful.
It sounds like your biggest concern is finding a church that will love and accept your family. I don’t know where you live or what your doctrine is, but I strongly recommend you look for a church on the NCFIC.org site (National Center for Family-Integrated Churches). These are congregations from many denominations that encourage families to keep their children in worship with them, so they will joyfully tolerate the disruptions as you train your children to sit quietly. While they may be able to point you to a nursing room or cry-room, nobody will give you dirty looks for having your children sit with you, or suggest that you send them to children’s church.
If you don’t find a suitable listing in your area, you might want to ask around on Facebook (or I’ll ask here for you) and see if anyone knows of congregations in your area that are not listed on the NCFIC site.
I understand that corporal discipline is not an option with your 12 month old, but there are other ways to teach him.
- Many families recommend regular daily times of quiet listening as practice for worship.
- During church, when my little ones get too noisy and I take them out, I don’t entertain them. I make sure being taken out is less interesting than sitting in church. For example, quiet toys might be allowed in church but not when you take the baby out of the sanctuary. Certainly don’t reward him with a trip to the nursery if you are trying to teach him to sit quietly in church.
- A firm vocal command can be effective. Just tell him “no,” softly but firmly with no hint of a smile. If he smiles in response, don’t let yourself smile back.
- Be self conscious not to encourage the baby to squeal and play. Funny faces may keep his attention, but who do you blame when he laughs and squeals? My babies are quieter when they face forward rather than facing me.
- If you can work it, a nap is the perfect way to keep a baby quiet during church. Yes, they might fuss a little before they doze off but then you are rewarded with an hour of sweet silence. I don’t know about your schedule, but for us worship falls squarely into naptime for our babies.
When it comes to the mechanics of worshiping with lots of little ones, we have found two seating techniques that were very helpful when we had lots of little ones:
- You and your husband resist the temptation to sit right next to each other, placing troublemakers between you and on your laps. With 2 children between you, one in each lap, one on the far left and another on the far right, you can have 6 children sitting on or next to you and your husband. While it doesn’t solve every problem, keeping them within easy reach does allow you to notice problems and address them promptly.
- If you really, really want to sit together – and I don’t blame you – try this. I like it better than the first idea. Rather than stretching out in one long row, have some children sit directly in front of you. Sometimes this is more effective than having them sit next to you, because they are directly in your line of sight while you watch the pulpit. This also allowed my husband and I to sit together while keeping an eye on 7 or 8 children – one on each lap, one to the left of us, one to the right of us, and several in front of us. I won’t name names, but we still do this with our troublemakers and fidgeters.
Having two newborns is going to be tricky no matter what you do, but remember: moms do it all the time. It’s called twins. Seek out moms of twins, and get advice. Most are glad to help.
And speaking of help: once you find a family friendly church, seek out a baby-loving teen who is willing to help you during the service. Our girls have been known to sit with the little ones of another family when both parents are occupied with needy wee ones.
Do you have advice for Karen? Let’s hear it in the comments.
4 Moms: Valentine’s Day recipes and a story {linky}
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February 7, 2013 by 15 Comments
When I mentioned that today’s topic was recipes for Valentine’s Day, my kids were not impressed. I think in our house we generally agree that Valentine’s Day is for lovers (i.e. married people), and thus the day holds very little interest for children in our family.
“Who chooses these topics? Didn’t you tell the other moms we don’t do anything for Valentine’s Day?”
“Valentine’s Day? Who cooks for Valentine’s Day? You and Dad usually go out and we eat macaroni and cheese.”
“I’ll give you a Valentine’s Day recipe:
- Take chocolate.
- Put in mouth.”
I’m still not sure whether I should feel guilty because I don’t do any special cooking, or relieved because my kids don’t expect any. They like macaroni and cheese. I’ll let you know when I decide – or maybe I’ll let you decide. What do you think? On second thought, I only want to hear what you think if you’re on my side.
That’s not to say that I don’t get special treatment on Valentine’s Day, and any other excuse-of-a-holiday for romance. Last year my husband hit one out of the park. No, you can’t have him.
Being a good dad, Perry often brings home a box of candy hearts or a small box of chocolates for each of the girls, too. He knows the way to a woman’s heart, and any young man who wants to marry one of our girls had better learn a few tricks from her dad first. He’ll have a tough act to follow.
So I get special treatment on Valentine’s Day. If you’re wondering why I don’t do special cooking for Perry on Valentine’s Day, I just might be still punishing him for Valentine’s Day, 1998. I hesitated to tell this story, but when I mentioned my hesitation to Perry he laughed and dared me. He dared me, I tell you. What else could I do?
Valentine’s Day ’98
or, Why I Don’t Cook a Romantic Dinner for Two on Valentine’s Day
It had been a long and difficult winter. Perry was gone a lot, working full time while he tried to get his own business off the ground. I had 3 kids 4yo and under, and was 6 months pregnant with our 4th. My morning sickness had been worse than ever this time and I was down by 12 lbs, but I was finally feeling better.
As Valentine’s Day drew near, I decided to do something special. Until now, Valentine’s Day had been pretty low key, but I wanted to make it special this year. Money was tight and babysitters were expensive, so we usually stayed in for our dates, but that wasn’t a problem. I planned a menu of boneless turkey breast with all the traditional trimmings, and a nice bottle of wine on the side. I made a special dessert.
Perry had the day off his regular job but was training a friend to clean carpets, his side business. They planned to spend the day going over the maintenance of the machines and cleaning his friend’s carpets. I didn’t know what time he would be home, but I wanted to be ready. As evening fell, I fed the kids a cheap fun dinner and put them to bed early. They were all too young to object, so all was well.
I dressed for dinner and set the table with candles and our prettiest dishes, keeping dinner warm while I waited.
And waited.
And waited.
When Perry finally arrived home very late that night, the turkey was about as hard and dry as my own attitude. He made a valiant attempt to act hungry and chew the turkey jerky, but it just wasn’t working for either of us. My attitude only got worse when I heard his side of the story:
After working all afternoon, he and his friend realized it was dinner time and they still had a few hours to go. They were both hungry so they drove around the corner from Dave’s house to a local diner for a bite to eat. The special was a 2-for-1 steak dinner – perfect! Although both were married men, neither had a clue what day it was or why the quiet little diner was completely packed with starry-eyed lovebirds – and why the waitresses were giggling at the two of them.
My husband missed my special Valentine’s dinner because he went out for a romantic couple’s dinner with his buddy.
Of course it was partly my fault for not tipping him off ahead of time, but it’s more fun to blame him. I’m not bitter, but I still tease him about his hot date with Dave. I’m pretty sure the waitresses teased Dave about it for years afterward, too.
Because the title of this post promises recipes, I’ll share two. I actually have made the Red Velvet Cake for Valentine’s Day because it is Perry’s favorite cake. I made the Bacon Roses for Father’s Day, but they would be perfect for Valentine’s Day as well.
Red Velvet Cake
From the cookbook published by the church where Perry and I met as children. How romantic is that? Skip the red food coloring if you must, but don’t change the icing!
- 1/2 cup shortening
- 1 1/2 cups sugar
- 2 eggs
- 2 oz. red food coloring
- 3 Tbs. cocoa
- 1 cup buttermilk (or milk with 1 Tbs vinegar)
- 2 1/2 cups flour
- 1/4 tsp. salt
- 1 tsp. vanilla
- 1 tsp. baking soda
- 1 tsp. vinegar
- Cream shortening, sugar and eggs.
- Make a paste of food coloring and cocoa. Add to creamed mixture.
- Add buttermilk alternately with flour and salt.
- Add vanilla.
- Add soda to vinegar, then mix thoroughly into batter.
- Pour into 2 8″ pans, greased and floured. Bake 25-30 minutes at 350.
- Cool and split to make 4 layers.
Butter Cream Icing for Red Velvet Cake
Rich, buttery and not too sweet. The easiest and most delicious cooked icing you will ever taste!
- 1 cup milk
- 3 Tbs. flour
- 1/2 tsp. salt
- 1 cup butter
- 1 cup sugar
- 2 tsp. vanilla
- Cook milk, flour and salt until thick, stirring constantly.
- Let cool thoroughly. Learn from my mistakes: don’t rush it.
- Cream butter and sugar well. Add vanilla.
- Combine with milk mixture and beat until it looks like whipped cream.
- Spread between layers, top and sides of cake. Learn more from my mistakes: Resist the urge to lick the bowl before you’re done or you won’t have enough for all 4 layers.
Bacon Roses
- 1 lb. bacon, any type
- muffin pan (12 cups)
- 2 bunches of cheap plastic roses (12 total)
The original instructions said to drill a hole in the bottom of each cup in a muffin pan so that the grease could drain. I bought 2 cheap muffin pans from The Dollar Tree so I could destroy them without guilt, then I decided not to drill the holes anyway. They worked perfectly because bacon cooks very nicely in its own drippings, so 2 years later I still have the pans. :)
Roll each slice of bacon into a curl and set into a muffin cup, edges on top and bottom so you see a spiral when you look at it. Bake about 20-30 minutes at 400, until crisp. Drain thoroughly.
To prepare rose stems, pull the flower off each one and push the green base down so that at least 1″ of the stem protrudes above. Slide bacon buds onto protruding stems, place in a vase, and give to the love of your life. If he insists on sharing, you’ve got a keeper.
I can’t find the photo, but our first try turned out just as pretty as the photos in the tutorial linked above, and so will yours.
What do you do for Valentine’s Day?
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- December 13 - 4 Moms share Quick and Easy Holiday Recipes {linky}
Naive, Unworldly Homeschoolers
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February 3, 2013 by 3 Comments
Cindy has a must-read post: to help you answer concerns about Those Poor, Naive Homeschoolers
In any discussion with critics of home education, the objection will eventually crop up that “homeschoolers won’t know how to deal with the real world when they’re grown.” It seems safe to assume that those who raise this objection aren’t worried that homeschooled children won’t be able to figure out how to buy groceries, drive a car, or effectively conduct personal business, given the fact that they are raised by people who do these things right in front of them every day.
Instead, the questioner seems most of the time to be referring to the cultural and moral differences between Christian homes and the non-Christian public schools. The objection could be accurately restated as “Homeschoolers will see so little of the brazen sinfulness of mainstream American culture that they will be shocked into helpless paralysis at the sight of {insert popular but blatantly sinful and unbiblical behavior or attitude here}. As if Good were such a weak little thing that the first whiff it gets of Evil will cause it to clutch its girly skirts and faint!…
42 Days to Fit eBook
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February 2, 2013 by 7 Comments
My friend Brandy, a mom of 8 boys who blogs at the Marathon Mom, emailed me this week asking for a small favor. Brandy and two of her blogging friends have written an eBook for moms who want to shape up and lose a little weight. It’s called 42 Days To Fit, and it will be FREE on Monday, February 4!
Since Calvin arrived, I have been a little frustrated. I only gained 20 pounds when I was pregnant with him, and at 9 lbs. 4 oz. he was my biggest baby by far. I was very excited to find that I was within 5 lbs. of my beginning weight just a week after he arrived. But then my weight loss came to a screeching halt. Calvin is over 3 months old now, and I haven’t lost a pound since his first week. The worst part is that I’m not just hanging onto an extra 5 lbs. I also have 5 lbs. from Parker…and another 5 from Bethany. I have never struggled with my weight, but I have seen it creep up 15 lbs, and I don’t like that pattern.
And now Brandy wants to know if I’ll help spread the word about 42 Days To Fit, which will be FREE 2 days from now.
Affirmative.
I’m in. My 42 days will start asap after I get my free copy on Monday.
Who’s with me?
Snapshot: morning Proverbs time
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February 1, 2013 by 4 Comments
This is what we do each morning just before Dad leaves for work. Weekends are hit or miss, but we’re well on our way to re-establishing this weekday habit.
My seat is to Perry’s right (your left, next to Rachael). We’re short this morning by two slackers and a baby, and Megan looks like she needs to drink a little more coffee.
Snapshot: ready for adventure
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January 31, 2013 by 2 Comments
Parker is dressed and ready to face the world, complete with coontail hat and “adventure boots.” He’s our little Davy Crockett.
4 Moms: the daily schedule
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January 31, 2013 by 10 Comments
When I was young, energetic and idealistic, I had a perfect schedule. I and my 4 or 5 young children rose at the same time each morning, read a chapter of Proverbs, had breakfast and did chores, and started school at 9 sharp. School consisted of a long list of perfectly coordinated age-appropriate activities for children with neatly brushed hair, while the baby happily played with educational toys in her high chair.
I don’t know how I did it, so don’t ask.
For many years after that, our schedule was in a constant state of flux. I have learned to be flexible because otherwise I would have broken. With more people in the house and ever-more-varied age spans, it was inevitable. Living 50 miles from town made everything more of a challenge.
Now that we’re settling into a new home and a single errand no longer takes 3 hours, our life looks very different and we are finding that it has once again become a little easier to hold to a regular schedule, something we are working toward with a great deal of eagerness.
With that disclaimer in place, here is what we currently aim for on a typical day. Some days may bear no resemblance to this, but it’s a rough draft and a work in progress. While we rarely score a bull’s eye, we are usually somewhere on the paper.
6-7 AM – Rise & shine. Get dressed. Shower/coffee as necessary. Older girls often work out or go for an early jog. They often start breakfast while I feed the baby, shower, and read my Bible.
8 AM – Gather in the dining room to pray and read Proverbs before Dad leaves for work.
8:15 – 9 – Eat breakfast, do chores, clean bedrooms.
9 AM – Older people take turns with little ones (read aloud, school, play inside or outside), and work on their own school. School begins with private Bible reading if not already done. I always do reading lessons, but the older girls often help with other subjects.
12 PM – Lunch. I try to feed the little ones before Dad comes home for lunch at 12:30. This cuts down on commotion, since he has only 20-30 minutes at home. I love that he can come home for lunch every day!
1-2 PM – Little ones play outside. Big ones work on their own school if they didn’t finish earlier.
2-4 PM – Naps and/or quiet time for younger ones.
4 PM – Afternoon cleanup and dinner prep begin.
6:30 PM – Dinner, followed by a Psalm reading at the table.
7:30 PM – Evening cleanup, dishes, and little ones get ready for bed. Perry and the older girls go to Krav Maga lessons 2 nights/week (plus Saturdays). On the off nights, Perry and I have been going to a nearby gym for an exercise date.
8 PM – Bedtime for littles. This starts with a bedtime story, so lights don’t go out until at least 8:30.
10 PM – Lights out for everyone. Well, in theory. We’re trying. Some of us are trying.
Again, this is a rough outline of a typical day. I mention cleanup three times because that’s when we do most of our chores, but there is also continuous cleaning happening. I don’t know about your house, but we can completely trash ours in an hour if we’re not paying attention. We could probably trash yours too.
I also don’t specify who does a lot of the work because while we each have specific chores, we all pitch in on most of what is mentioned above; I do more when I’m able, and less when the baby is especially cranky or I have errands to run.
I don’t mention free time, but trust me: it’s in there. Lydia is working toward a goal of 100,000 pushups in 2013, and that takes time. They all love to go to work with their dad. They draw…
… ride bikes and scooters…
…catch up with their friends on Facebook, read, and act like rednecks in the front yard. Think I’m joking? Last week they were practicing how to break various choke holds in the front yard.
What does your current schedule look like? How does it compare to what you think it should look like?
See what the other Moms say:
Upcoming topics for 4 Moms:
- February 7 - Valentine’s Recipe
- February 14 - How do you teach your child to work hard with a happy attitude?
- February 21 - Q&A
- February 28 - How do you teach your kids to work independently?
Recent topics:
- January 24 - Q&A with the 4 Moms: lies, jealous toddlers, and why doesn’t anyone invite you to dinner?
- January 17 - 4 Moms: What do you do for your children, and what do they do for themselves?
- January 10 - I have neglected to post on Thursdays for so long that I entirely forget to feel guilty
- January 3 - Still slacking, but beginning to feel a little guilty
- December 27 - I continue to be a slacker
- December 20 - I become a slacker and whine my way out of posting
- December 13 - 4 Moms share Quick and Easy Holiday Recipes {linky}
Snapshot: fun with Mod Podge
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January 26, 2013 by 13 Comments
edited to add recipes below
To streamline cooking, we’re putting our frequently used recipes to the inside of the cabinet doors near the range. No more searching!
As requested, here are closeups so you can see the recipes we included so far. We’ll probably add more over time, but these are the ones we use the most.
Desserts:
Grandma’s Wacky Cake (also called Crazy Cake)
A rich, delicious Depression era recipe that contains no eggs, milk or butter. I think everyone’s grandma had a recipe like this.
- 3 cups flour
- 2 cups sugar
- 2 tsp. baking soda
- 6 Tbs. cocoa
- 1/2 tsp. salt
- 3/4 cup oil
- 2 cups water
- 2 Tbs. vinegar
- 2 tsp. vanilla
In an ungreased 9×13 pan, combine dry ingredients. Mix with a fork until thoroughly combined. Be sure to get the corners!
Add water, vinegar and vanilla all at once. Mix thoroughly again.
Bake 35 minutes at 350 or just until cake tests done. Don’t ice it, because the soft moist top is the best part! To make it special, dust with powdered sugar.
Chocolate Oatmeal No-bake Cookies
2 cups sugar
1/2 cup cocoa
1/2 cup milk
1/2 cup butter
1/2 cup peanut butter
1 tsp. vanilla
4-5 cups oats
In a 4 quart pot, stir together sugar and cocoa. Add milk. Bring to a boil over medium heat and boil 2 minutes.
Working quickly, remove from heat and stir in butter, peanut butter and vanilla. Confession: I never measure peanut butter. 1-2 big glops from a spoon will do nicely. Stir in the oats and drop by teaspoonfuls onto waxed paper. Remember, work quickly. If you are too slow your cookies will cool and set in the pan and you’ll be forced to eat the rest straight from the pan with a spoon. Not good for the hips.
Let cool thoroughly and enjoy.
Moist Fudgy Brownies from scratch
- 3 eggs
- 1/2 cup melted butter
- 1/2 cup cocoa
- 2 cups sugar
- 1 tsp. vanilla
- 1 cup flour
- 1 tsp. salt
- 1 cup chopped walnuts, opt.
Combine eggs, butter, cocoa, sugar and vanilla. Stir until combined. Add flour, salt and walnuts and stir again.
Bake in a buttered 9×13 for 25-30 minutes at 350, just until done in the center. Serve warm.
Breads:
Breakfasts:
Snapshot: laundry
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January 26, 2013 by 2 Comments
Parker is helping Natalie sort clean laundry into 4 baskets, one for each bedroom. I love hearing their playful banter as they work, and I’m always surprised at how well toddlers can identify the owners of laundry. What happens when the baskets get too full?
“Hulk smash laundry!”
Snapshot : happy helper
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January 25, 2013 by 11 Comments
8yo Rachael couldn’t wait to learn to change Calvin’s diapers. She is now certified for wet diapers and working toward her degree in Infant Poop Changes.
Snapshot: hair
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January 25, 2013 by 1 Comment
Somebody has a whole new crop of hair coming in! In about 6 weeks, he’ll look like a little redneck boy with a natural buzz cut. 
Snapshot : one way to escape dish duty
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January 24, 2013 by 3 Comments
Cooking dinner gets an automatic pass on dish duty, but there is another way. Here’s the favorite way to escape dish duty: entertain tired and restless little ones. Books and baths are the two most popular tools for the job.
Snapshot: time to celebrate!
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January 24, 2013 by 2 Comments
Perry finished his 1st grade math workbook recently, so the two of us are out for a celebratory milkshake. I have decided to make a tradition of this: your choice of $1 treats for any qualifying accomplishment. Yes, milkshakes at Chik-fil-a are more than a dollar but I have a gift card. Next up: Rachael is about to finish a reading book, while Bethany aspires to go 3 days without an accident. Yes, we will most certainly celebrate that feat when the long-awaited day arrives.
Snapshot: reading to little ones
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January 24, 2013 by 8 Comments
The older girls have been going out of their way to spend some time with the little ones each morning. Lydia is reading Eric Carle’s book, Dragons, Dragons to Parker, taking time to discuss each illustration.
Q&A with the 4 Moms: lies, jealous toddlers, and why doesn’t anyone invite you to dinner?
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January 24, 2013 by 12 Comments
Hip-Hip-Hooray for Q&A! Here are my best answers to a few of the questions I received this week on the Life in a Shoe facebook page. If you have better answers, please speak up because moms of many (and moms of any) need all the good advice we can get.
How do you handle lying? Small dumb lies like sneaking snacks, or watching TV when not allowed.
I deal with it as two separate offenses, and make sure the offender understands that. In your first example, the child is stealing food, which might even have been freely given if they asked. I’m not sure if you are referring to the initial sneakiness as a lie, or if the child actually told a lie to cover her tracks. Either way, I would remind them that they are not allowed to eat X without permission and here is the punishment for that. Now, if the child told a lie or fabricated a cover (i.e. buried the snack wrapper deep in the trash or washed her own dish to hide the evidence) then I would deal with that as a separate crime. ”You know the punishment for eating that without permission, but now you added another sin by lying. Even if you didn’t lie with your mouth, you tried to make me think you didn’t eat that. Your punishment for lying is…”
I make sure the punishment for lying is stiffer than the original offense, and remind them that if they had been honest about their offense their punishment would only have been ___, but because they lied they also have this punishment. The lie didn’t help; it only made things worse.
I also remind them that God hates lying lips (Prov 12:22), and Satan is the father of lies (John 8:44). If God is our Father, we should do our very best to act like Him and honor Him with our words. And finally, I remind them it’s hard to trust someone who lies. I don’t want to rub their noses in past sins, but if they begin to show a pattern of lying, I will have to wonder if they are lying even when they are telling the truth. Neither of us wants that.
I do think it’s normal for very young children to “experiment” with lying as they learn about the difference between truth, lies, teasing, fiction, etc. But I also think it is our duty as parents to quickly and compassionately teach them the difference.
What is the best and most consistent way to deal with whiners?
My favorite way is to plead deafness: “I can’t understand you when you talk in a whiny voice. Say it again in a happy voice…Oh, I still can’t understand you. Try again… Oh, now I understand!”
I think the key to this – as with any form of correction – is consistency. [Sorry, Zoe. That's all I've got, because it's all I need. ]
Oh – one other thing. I might be stepping on a few toes, but I just have to voice one observation. I have noticed many times that the worst whiners have mommies who speak in whiny voices, especially to their children. Sometimes mommy isn’t being whiny, but she sure speaks in a whiny voice and her children can’t help but emulate her. If you have persistent whiners, you might want to ask an honest friend for a frank opinion on the matter.
how do you help a very jealous toddler adjust to a new baby? this is one of our longest age gaps, but my 21m old is crying all the time, pulling at me, tantrums, etc ever since the baby was born 2 weeks ago.
When a new baby arrives, I do at least 3 things to head off jealousy and bad behavior:
- See that the “old” baby still gets plenty of love and attention. He’s going to be exceptionally needy just when you have less time for him, so do your best to reassure him by giving him as much attention as you can for a little while. Enlist the help of other family members too. Once he has adjusted to sharing you, he’ll become more independent again.
- Include the toddler as much as possible in handling and caring for the new baby: let him hold the baby in his lap, kiss the baby’s head, bring you diapers and wipes, hold the baby’s hand during diaper changes, gently rock the baby’s seat, etc. Even let him help hold your cover-up in place during feedings, if he wants to and if you are comfortable with that. Do NOT shoo him away from the baby because you are afraid he might hurt him; show him how to be gentle. Do everything you can to make him feel included and avoid making him feel excluded.
- Address behavior issues promptly. If you let him act up while you’re feeding the baby, he will quickly choose that as his favorite time to misbehave. If he discovers that it’s easier to get away with bad behavior while the baby is crying, he will do exactly that. He will test boundaries and he needs to know that all the old standards are still in place. Deal with tantrums now just as you always have – or always meant to. If you feel too tired/busy/sympathetic to do it now, just think how you’ll feel if you don’t nip this behavior in the bud.
More church/pew behavior help! I have 3.5yo, 2yo and 2mo and I keep flipping between the “I can’t expect too much from them” mentality and the “They need to learn now” mentality.
I do the same thing, but my husband reminds me that they are often capable of much more than I expect. If he can make them behave well, so can I. I did several posts about training little ones to behave in church: Babbling babies in church and Children in church are two of the most appropriate here.
Is it normal to have a very small social network with a large family? Seems like we never get invites to anything now that we are a family of 7. I don’t mind at all being the hostess. Just wondering if this is normal, and how to maintain our friendships with other families.
Yes, it’s normal. We have the privilege now of knowing many large families, and many smaller families that love large families. I don’t think this is common though. When I was growing up in a large family, invitations were few and far between. We often had families to our home but invitations were rarely returned. This was fine with my parents, because it’s much easier to host a family of 4 for dinner than to move 10 or 15 people out the door to a friend’s house for dinner. In fact, when those rare invitations arrived, it wasn’t uncommon for Dad to respond with a suggestion that they just come to our house instead.
And to be quite honest, I much prefer to host for the very same reason. I’m a homebody at heart. If it were up to me, we would do as my dad did, but we don’t. The rest of my household does not share my sentiments, so we happily load up into the van when invitations arrive – and I’m always glad we did. :)
In your case, I have two suggestions:
- Be the hostess. If your friends don’t invite you over, invite them instead. Often. More often than I do.
- Cultivate friendships with other large families. Let’s face it: a big family can easily triple the headcount for a small family, but barely double it for a larger family. If your friends have big families, yours is less likely to overwhelm them.
Do you have questions about big families? We just might have answers.
See what the other Moms say:
Upcoming topics for 4 Moms:
- January 31 - What does your daily schedule look like
- February 7 - Valentine’s Recipe
- February 14 - How do you teach your child to work hard with a happy attitude?
- February 21 - Q&A
- February 28 - How do you teach your kids to work independently?
Recent topics:
- January 17 - 4 Moms: What do you do for your children, and what do they do for themselves?
- January 10 - I have neglected to post on Thursdays for so long that I entirely forget to feel guilty
- January 3 - Still slacking, but beginning to feel a little guilty
- December 27 - I continue to be a slacker
- December 20 - I become a slacker
- December 13 - 4 Moms share Quick and Easy Holiday Recipes {linky}
- December 6 - 4 Moms Talk About Quick and Easy Holiday Crafts
- November 29 - 4 Moms Q&A: Christmas in the Coghlan house, etc.
Snapshot: quiet time
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January 23, 2013 by 2 Comments
She’s not officially doing quiet time, but Becca found a checklist app for her new Kindle to help her through her day. In the background, Perry Boy is looking at books. Right now, 4yo Bethany and 2yo Parker take daily naps, and 8yo Rachael and 6yo Perry do quiet time.
Snapshot: Princesses do school too
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January 23, 2013 by 2 Comments
4yo Bethany is enjoying her first-ever school book, Spectrum Preschool Math Readiness. I love their workbooks for the younger set!
A snapshot from our day
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January 22, 2013 by 4 Comments
Finished a reading lesson with Rachael a few minutes ago, then she helped me unpack a couple of boxes in my bedroom. We found my leather juggling balls!
Cooking: Leftover Oatmeal Muffins
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January 22, 2013 by 9 Comments
I’m turning this morning’s delicious leftover apple oatmeal into improvised muffins for today’s afternoon snack:
Pardon the brevity, but I’m posting from my phone. Want more posts like this? Let me know and I’ll try.
Update: The muffins turned out nicely, so here’s how I made them. I just browsed a cookbook for a muffin recipe that called for oats and altered it slightly to allow for the liquid already cooked into the oatmeal. I even mixed it up right in the pot where we had cooked the oatmeal.
Leftover Oatmeal Muffins
- 2 cups cooked oatmeal
- 1 1/2 cups flour
- 1/4 cup sugar (omit if the oatmeal is sweetened)
- 1 Tbs. baking powder
- 1 tsp. baking soda
- 1 tsp. salt (reduce or omit if you salted the water for your oats)
- 2 eggs
- 1/3 cup oil or melted butter
Combine all ingredients and stir just until combined. Batter will be thick. Fill greased muffin tins 2/3 full and bake about 20 minutes at 375. Let cool 5-10 minutes before removing from pan.
Sale at Vision Forum: Half price dolls and more!
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January 17, 2013 by Leave a Comment
The big people are at their Krav Maga lesson, the little ones are winding down for bed, and I’m reading my email with a happy baby in my lap. I know it’s been a long time since I posted twice in a day or even twice in a week, but this sale is too good to let it pass without saying something about it. To sweeten the deals below, you can use the code SHIPSFREE to get free shipping on any order over $95, or code SAVE10 to – you guessed it – save $10 on your order.
The dolls are what really caught my eye. I can’t believe they’re priced this low since they sell so well at regular price!
$37.50 (Save 50%)
$37.50 (Save 50%)
There are also lots of dresses and other doll accessories on sale right now to fancy up somebody’s new doll. :)
The set of 20 hardcover Ballantyne adventure books is also on sale for less than $10/book. My Megan loves these books for their rich vocabulary, varied plots and settings, and the author’s ability to seamlessly weave the Gospel into his stories. We also have a weakness for books with that sturdy, old-fashioned look and feel.
Complete R.M. Ballantyne Adventure Library (20 Volumes)
$198.00 (Save 55%)
If you’ve never ridden a zipline, you’re missing out. Ditto for your kids. Scope out your trees and get the biggest, best one you can.
$82.50 (Save 50%)
What?! When did Vision Forum start carrying this? I want two, so I can serve beautiful things to my beautiful family, beautifully. Maybe you want one, too?
$19.50 (Save 50%)
Perry and my nephews got several Legos-compatible sets for Christmas, and not surprisingly the girls are enjoying them too. Even my husband and I helped assemble some! We stuck mainly with military themed sets, but the medieval ones look pretty cool too.
LEGO®-Compatible Military ZIS-6 Truck (250 pcs)
$24.00 (Save 50%)
LEGO®-Compatible Knight’s Medieval Warship (250 pcs)
$24.00 (Save 50%)
There are lots other great deals, but I’m being paged for a bedtime story. We’re just about to finish Little Town on the Prairie. What are you reading?
4 Moms: What do you do for your children, and what do they do for themselves?
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January 17, 2013 by 5 Comments
This week we’re talking about teaching self-sufficiency and independence in children, but I think there’s something more. This question strikes at the heart of the 4 Moms tagline: How Moms of Many Manage. Let’s face it: if you do everything for your children, you are going to run yourself ragged with just one or two. A mom who does everything for her children isn’t managing at all. She is letting herself be managed by the children.
I know because I sometimes find myself doing this very thing. It is frustrating and exhausting to me, but it’s also not kind to my children. They get frustrated waiting on an overwhelmed mom to find time to do things that they could easily do for themselves, and they are helpless when mom is busy or unavailable. See? Not nice.
Some may say that this is a good reason to have just one or two children, but I disagree. I think it’s good to foster independence in children, and having a larger family presents a constant reminder to do so. We want to train our children to be adults, and learning to do things for oneself is an important step in the process. This is one way we hope to avoid having a 30-something live in our basement and play video games all day while yelling at mom to bring him a sandwich. Think I’m exaggerating? I once met that guy. I’m glad he wasn’t my son.
And so we teach our children to do things for themselves:
Hair
I brushed and styled all of the girls’ hair when they were little. As they got older, I showed them how and required them to “brush” their own, then bring me the brush so I could check their work and style it for them. Even when they couldn’t make a good job of it, it was important to me that they tried and began to realize that it would one day be their own responsibility.
Once they were able to do a good job brushing, they started trying to style their own hair. Sometimes I would “smooth it out a little,” but they improved with practice and were eventually able to do their hair entirely on their own. The age at which they reached each stage varies with each child’s relative maturity, level of interest, and the length, thickness and texture of her hair, but I generally expect a child to do a good job brushing her own hair by 7 or 8yo and do some simple styles (braid, pony or clip) by 9 or 10yo.
Baths
Unlike hair, safety is an issue when it comes to children bathing alone, so we take that into consideration. I never, ever leave a baby or toddler unattended, and even a child who can wash herself effectively may be young enough to warrant heavy supervision.
Clothes
Here’s an area where we have some fun. I love to let my little ones dress themselves as soon as they are able. We fully expect them to come up with some crazy combinations, and they do not disappoint. By 2 or 3, they are usually able to make a valiant attempt, and at 4 they are almost independent in this area though they still need help with certain shoes. Oh – and it’s a good idea to make sure the 4yo is wearing undies each time you leave the house.
Food
I find that kids love to be self-sufficient when it comes to food. It’s all I can do to keep the little ones from foraging for themselves instead of joining the family for regular mealtimes and snacks. In our house, a 5yo can get a drink of water or make toast or pb&j for himself or a younger sibling. I let them pour their own milk around 6 or 7yo – sooner if the jug is nearly empty. I expect them to help with meal prep or even prepare very simple meals by the time they are 8 or 10, but this is not something I have to require: they are raring to go long before that, so the trick is to find age appropriate ways for younger ones to help.
With some oversight, a 7 or 8yo can cook scrambled eggs or oatmeal. If reading proficiently, she can follow a simple recipe for muffins, banana bread, baked oatmeal, pancakes, etc.
Another advantage to encourage self-sufficiency in children: our children see an answer to the world’s question, “How do you do it?!” Motherhood need not be an unbearable burden that crushes us beneath endless needs and demands. It’s not the mom’s job to personally fill every need of her children every day; only to do her to best to see that they are filled. One way we show our love is by teaching them to take care of themselves.
Of course there is no substitute for love and attention from Mom, and sometimes we do things with them and for them that they can do for themselves. Incidentally, this is one way they show their love for us, too, like when Lydia brought me a freshly brewed cup of coffee a few minutes ago. She’s my new favorite child.
See what the other Moms say:
- Smockity Frocks On Encouraging Self Sufficiency in Children
- Raising Olives
- The Common Room on 4 Moms, Children and Independence
Upcoming topics for 4 Moms:
- January 24 - Q&A
- January 31 - What does your daily schedule look like
- February 7 - Valentine’s Recipe
- February 14 - How do you teach your child to work hard with a happy attitude?
- February 21 - Q&A
- February 28 - How do you teach your kids to work independently?
Recent topics:
- December 13 - 4 Moms share Quick and Easy Holiday Recipes {linky}
- December 6 - 4 Moms Talk About Quick and Easy Holiday Crafts
- November 29 - 4 Moms Q&A: Christmas in the Coghlan house, etc.
Baby Caine
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January 14, 2013 by 13 Comments
Friends,
Thank you to everyone who prayed so diligently for our nephew Caine. For those who don’t follow us on facebook, I’m thrilled to be the bearer of good news here instead!
After about a week in the ICU, he made a near-miraculous recovery. On Sunday he was still in the ICU on a high-flow oxygen machine, scheduled for a cystic fibrosis screening in an effort to find the underlying cause of his struggle. By Monday he was completely off oxygen and ready for release, although they kept him another day to make sure he didn’t relapse. When he was released Tuesday his breathing was better than it had been since Thanksgiving.
He will be monitored for a while, and will be on steroids for 6 months to help repair the damage to his lungs, but he is doing wonderfully now.
P.S. His mom has requested additional prayer this morning. She says that after a week of sounding congestion free, he is struggling to breathe some today.
Share your quiet play ideas for a pack of kids
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January 4, 2013 by 60 Comments
Scroll down for an update on Caine
Maybe quiet is asking too much, but I would love your suggestions on how to keep 6 kids aged 4-10 gainfully employed. Caine’s mom, grandma and 3 brothers are staying with us while he is in the hospital, but his mom spends most of her time with Caine for understandable reasons. We don’t know how long they will be with us and I don’t want to plant everyone in front of the TV or video game console, so I would love to hear your ideas on what they can do indoors. Yes, indoors. The weather has been nasty. Yes, we’re spoiled and we call 40′s and 50′s in January “nasty weather.”
Here are my requirements:
- Easy. Must not require a lot of hand-on assistance. Remember, I also have a 2yo and a very demanding baby.
- Cheap. Must not require expensive or extensive supplies. We have lots of free paper, and I can spend a little on materials but not too much.
- Clean. Must not be too messy. I’m hesitant to try anything that involves glue or glitter.
- Entertaining. Must take longer than 30 seconds. :) An hour would be great. Even better if it holds their attention longer, but it can’t be too complicated or tedious.
- Quiet. Well, a girl can hope…
Here is what we’ve done so far:
- Paint! The kids got washable paints for Christmas and I already had a set of watercolors and lots of cheap brushes. They spent well over an hour producing various works of art, borrowing ideas from each other. I cut a large trash bag in half and taped it to the table, so cleanup was easy. I also made them all agree beforehand that they would do the cleanup themselves to my satisfaction or we would never paint again in my house. :)
- Paper airplanes! I didn’t think of this myself, but it was great! The paper was free, and the airplanes are relatively safe projectiles for indoor use. If they’re going to throw things in my house, I’m glad it’s paper. There is lots of room for creativity and extended play with minimal mess.
- Play store. I think that’s what they were doing, because I found handwritten “checks” and “money” on the makeshift desks when they were done. At any rate, they were quiet and occupied for quite a while. Our little ones also love to play school, although that might not hold the same charm for my nephews who attend private school.
Ideas I’d like to try:
- Breadmaking. I could give each child his/her own lump of dough to shape and bake.
- Paper plate masks. They could follow up by actually wearing the masks in their games.
- Hide & seek. Our kids have discovered some fun and fabulous hiding places in our new house, and the fun could start all over again with a few new players.
- Origami lessons. Kaitlyn feels confident she could keep them all engaged long enough to finish one or more simple shapes. Boats or hats would be a good start, or the Big Mouth Puppet that Becca demo’ed in a video tutorial so many years ago.
- Pop-ups. This is Kaitlyn’s idea, too. I think she wants to cut a very basic pop-up design (1 for each child) that the kids could then color in and play with.
- Play dough. We could try an edible recipe, or just do the traditional salt dough. Cooked recipes make an especially soft, pliant dough that is fun to work with. Messy, but it should clean up easily if we keep it away from the living room rugs.
What else would you suggest?
Update on Caine:
His oxygen was decreased from 12 liters/minute down to 6 liters yesterday, but his breathing became labored so he’s holding steady now at 7 liters. He will need to get down to 2 liters before they move him out of the PICU into the regular pediatric ward, but he’s well on his way.
Last night and today he became much more active and alert, and is very smiley for his mom.
He also enjoyed Grandma’s visit today.
We think he was getting very tired from working so hard to breathe, and is finally feeling better because he’s not expending so much energy just to stay alive. He is also receiving 2 ounces of mom’s milk every 2 hours via a tube, so he’s a much happier little man.
The next step is to decrease his oxygen enough to allow him to move to the pediatric ward and begin nursing again. Thanks again to all who are continuing to pray for this precious little boy.
Update on baby Caine
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January 3, 2013 by 12 Comments
Thank you to everyone who is praying for little Caine. After many days that felt like one step forward, two steps back, it was hugely encouraging to finally get more good news than bad today! Last night was a very rough night, but today was better. His parents and doctors are cautiously optimistic that he has turned a corner and finally on the mend.
Caine is still in the PICU (pediatric ICU), but the doctors have been gradually reducing his oxygen flow and he seems to be tolerating it well so far. Once he gets low enough, he can be moved back to the pediatric ward where they can work on weaning him off entirely so he can go home.
The IV in his head seemed to be causing a lot of pain so they took it out today. His parents got to hold him finally, probably the highlight of the day for everyone. :) The nurses weren’t able to get the IV back in, but that seems to be a good thing: instead, they ran a tube into his stomach and he was finally able to take some of the milk his mom has faithfully pumped by his bedside for the last 8 days. This was his first feeding in over 3 days because aspiration (inhaling the milk into his lungs) was a big concern.
More good news: his most recent chest x-ray shows that the congestion in his lungs seems to be breaking up. This means he can begin the long process of healing from the damage caused by RSV. Also, his fever is gone and white blood count is normal (I think), so concerns about an infection or spinal meningitis seem to be allayed.
Please pray that he will continue to improve, that his blood gases will remain stable as they reduce the oxygen flow, and that he can continue to receive feedings via the tube. Please also pray that the doctors and other caretakers would have wisdom and compassion, and that God would grant Caine’s parents and three brothers peace, patience, and wisdom as they adapt their plans to Caine’s current situation.
Please pray for my baby nephew
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January 2, 2013 by 22 Comments
I know it’s been awfully quiet here on the blog and I hate to show up with a request, but I think you’ll understand. We had a wild & crazy houseful of guests for most of the past 10 days. That’s the good news.
The bad news is that one of our guests, little baby Caine, has been in the hospital since the day after Christmas.
Caine was due the week after our Calvin, but was born 3 weeks early.
Caine had a bout with pneumonia the week after Thanksgiving, and spent 10 days in the hospital.
He was much better by the time his family came here to visit, but somewhere along the line he contracted RSV. It’s a common virus, not usually dangerous, but Caine was especially vulnerable because of his weakened lungs. On the day after Christmas he went back to the hospital, this time in San Antonio.
Although the doctors had hoped he would begin to improve after 3 or 4 days, the poor little guy is facing new challenges daily and still working hard to breathe at Day 7. He started out in the pediatric ward, but was moved to the pediatric ICU a few days later.
Please pray for Caine and his family!
4 Moms share Quick and Easy Holiday Recipes {linky}
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December 13, 2012 by 11 Comments
Merry Christmas from the 4 Moms! This week we’re sharing some of our favorite holiday recipes. With a lot of little ones underfoot, my favorites are quick and easy. They also happen to taste pretty good. :)
If you’re a longtime reader, these recipes may look familiar to you. Just smile and nod and pretend I’m not telling the same stories over and over again.
I plan to make my very-favorite Poor Man’s Toffee for this weekend’s annual tamale party with the extended family. I’m glad some of my own household will be out of town, because then I won’t have to feel guilty if only half of the pan makes it to the party.
Poor Man’s Toffee
makes 50 pieces – great for gifts
- 1 1/4 cups butter, divided
- 35-40 saltine-style crackers
- 1 cup dark brown sugar
- 1 can sweetened condensed milk
- 1 1/2 cup chocolate chips
- 3/4 cups finely chopped walnuts
Pay attention. This happens quickly:
- Melt 1/4 cup butter; pour into foil-lined jelly roll pan.
- Arrange crackers over butter, evenly spaced.
- Melt remaining butter; add sugar and boil 2 minutes, stirring occasionally.
- Remove from heat and add condensed milk. Spread over crackers.
- Bake at 375 for 10-12 minutes, until bubbly and slightly darkened.
- Remove from oven, cool 1 minute, and sprinkle with chocolate chips. Let stand 5 minutes (until chocolate is soft and melty) and spread.
- Sprinkle with nuts; press lightly into chocolate.
- Cool; refrigerate until chocolate is set.
- Remove foil and cut candy.
Yum! Rich, delicious and very impressive, and much faster and easier than it sounds. No one can ever guess the saltine cracker base – it tastes a lot like Almond Roca.
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Another very easy recipe that we make for holiday dinners is cranberry sauce. After making our own the first time several years ago, we all decided we would never go back to the canned goop. It’s quick and easy, just like the title of this post promises, and delicious! The young ones in our family love that they can easily cook something this pretty for a formal meal.
Fresh Cranberry Sauce
- 12 oz bag of cranberries
- 1/2 – 3/4 cup sugar (white or brown)
- 1/2 cup water
Combine and simmer in microwave (covered) or on stovetop til berries burst, about 10 minutes. Stir and mash a bit as they cook.
Chill thoroughly and serve in a pretty dish.
Really, that’s it. You thought it would be harder, didn’t you?
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Cheater’s Fudge
So easy you’ll never go back.
- 12 oz. bag of chocolate chips
- 1 can sweetened condensed milk
- 1 tsp. vanilla
- optional additions: walnuts, marshmallows, etc.
Just combine ingredients in a medium saucepan and stir over medium-low heat until melted and combined. Pour into buttered or wax-paper lined 8×8 pan, chill, and cut into small squares.
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Effortless Eggnog
I love eggnog and have no qualms about the raw eggs in traditional recipes, especially since most of our eggs come from our own hens. However, this recipe is super easy, delicious, and satisfies those who are concerned about raw eggs.
- 1/2 gallon milk, divided
- 1 package instant French vanilla pudding mix
- 1/4 cup sugar
- 2 tsp. vanilla
- 1/2 tsp. cinnamon
- 1/2 tsp. nutmeg
In a large bowl, whisk 3/4 cup milk and pudding mix until smooth. Whisk in the sugar, vanilla, cinnamon and nutmeg. Stir in remaining milk. Refrigerate until serving.
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